Help relaxing regarding relationship?

  • Lately, as I'm sure you all have noticed, I'm really worried regarding my latest crush, and recently, I can't stop having these fears that he does not like me or lately that he likes another person. I don't know what to do, or why I have recently been having all of these fears.

    Can someone advise me about how to relax regarding this issue? I don't know what to do, and I'm trying very hard not to become too clingy and risk pushing him away.

    Thank you so much.

  • You need to find out why these issues bother you so much - have you always had them or is it just with this guy? These feelings come from your insecurity about yourself and whether you are good enough.

  • Thank you very much Captain.

    I'm pretty aware of why I had these feelings. Before this guy, I had been in a relationship that was very difficult for me. I was used emotionally and I had been cheated on a few times. I learned a lot from that relationship however, and I've been very nervous about getting involved with another person due to that last relationship.

    However, a few days ago, I finally had ended up cracking and explaining these worries to him. He was very kind, and told me that I needed to put more faith in him and to relax, because he promised he was not that kind of man. He also reassured me that I was very important to him.

    While it made me feel an awful lot better than before, I think one of my whole problems is that I expect things to go wrong because of my using my last relationship as a basis for this one. He has never outright said we are dating and I think that it also makes me a little apprehensive, and I am a little afraid to bring the subject up.

  • Be careful of what you expect to happen because our thoughts create our reality. You have to work through issues of trust here. You have to get to a point where it doesn't matter how anyone else treats you because you know you are strong enough to survive and thrive on your own. You have to curb your dependency on other people for your happiness and work on creating your own joy for yourself. Other people are only meant to be our companions - we each have to be responsible for making a success of our lives on our own.

  • You're so right. These past few days, I've been working on relaxing more and focusing on myself and I feel more relaxed about us.

    I know that deep down, everything will be okay, and that I have to think more positively than I have been.

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