Hello!! I am 95% sure I know what my reading is saying, but because I want to make sure I'm not coloring anything, I was wondering if someone could double check my math, so to speak. The question was "Should I confront him or be patient like I have been?" I used a Rider-Waite and the Celtic Cross. I'm still not 100% comfy with reversals, so the cards have been all set to upright prior to shuffling.
1st -- Seven of Wands
2nd -- Eight of Pentacles
3rd -- Four of Pentacles
4th -- Justice
5th -- Knight of Wands
6th -- Two of Cups
7th -- Eight of Swords
8th -- Hanged Man
9th -- Two of Swords
10th -- Queen of Wands
What I took was, I feel like I need to assert myself and control the situation (1st and 3rd) because I'm being too impulsive and feel like I have no other options (5th and 7th) which is totally self-imposed. I'm rushing too fast like the Knight, because I'm boxed myself in rationally with my intellect, which is nothing but negative thoughts. If I keep doing what I've been doing -- diligence, patience, and working towards the goal slowly and methodically (2nd) -- the outcome of us actually being together will come about soon (6th). I'm afraid to make a decision (9th), because I realize he's a place his in life where things do have to stop for a bit (8th), but I also want to make a decision, because he's not pulling the trigger, and I want to know.
However... I have no idea what the Queen of Wands means in the 10th. I often get this card in reference to myself, or my demeanor (since my chart's mostly fire), but... does she just mean establishment and growth of a good kind? Creativity and beginnings and joy in a mature, fixed way? I added the picture, just in case it helps with a visual!
I drew a clarifying card for the Queen, and I got the 3 of Pentacles. Teamwork. Collaboration. Patience. I'm assuming this means in the long run, I just have to be myself, but also recognize there are two parts to every equation, and I need to take into consideration his side, not just my own?
It feels like you are he ll-bent on getting your way and have a white-knuckle grip on the situation. Yes, you do have to look at the situation from his side of things. Is he making a decision between you and someone else? I'm getting lots of 3's and also keep hearing "karma." Whatever decision he is making, you need to give him the space and time to do so and not try to push him into the outcome you want.
Oh...and it's not so much about having patience as it is about surrendering control and that white-knuckle grip on having what you want. Sometimes what we want is not what is best for us or anyone else concerned...
Yeah... that's very true. I do sort of have the grip thing going on. That comes from a deep-seeded insecurity and the desire to be in a partnership. I have no idea if he's making a decision between myself or someone else; it's crossed my mind. He texts every day and sends mixed signals. What I want is to know, black or white, if he's interested or not, so I can say, "Okay, it was fun while it lasted," or "Okay, I'll wait for you to get to a place to be ready." I know he's extremely busy with school. I have felt like perhaps he views me as a distraction that he wants, but can't afford.
But you're right. Sometimes things aren't right for us. I just feel like he's a kitten, and I'm a ball of yarn. He runs up, pokes it, then runs away because it moves or stirs. Not my favorite thing to be.
Can I ask what you make of the Two of Cups and where exactly the white-knuckle grip feeling comes in? Also, what you feel Karma is connected too. I'm always, always, ALWAYS interested in learning more about tarot and how cards interact on any level.
When I first started to read Tarot it was all about learning the "definitions" of the cards in the books....starting with key words and then expanding upon them. Then I introduced the reversals - especially when trying to read for myself - as it helps to gain clarity on situations when emotions are involved. For instance, that 2 of Cups could have come out reversed which would suggest the end of a relationship or disharmony within a relationship. But also remember that it does not always mean love and soulmates - it can just indicate a need for balance and meeting in the middle for partnerships of any kind as well as a balance within ourselves of our male and female aspects and energy. But I digress....
As I developed my reading skills, what was really developing was my intuition. Therefore, I can sense when a card is actually supposed to be reversed, but not when I am reading for myself (once again, that pesky ego and emotions/desires get in the way!). I read intuitively now and what "comes through" will not always be in line with what someone sees when just looking at card definitions. I also tend to take a step back - look at the spread from a macro perspective rather than focusing on each individual card in the micro. A story comes through to me in that way, which once again may not always be obvious to the querent based on card definitions. It's hard to explain!
Anyway, I pulled some of my own cards for you and the "karma" I kept hearing is about a life lesson for you which has ties to either your childhood and/or past lives. You are learning to speak up for yourself - to voice your needs, wants and boundaries. Remember that all of our relationships are really just a spiritual mirror - showing us things about ourselves that we need to heal or learn. And I think the "choice" I saw at first is indeed yours and not his. You are being faced with a choice to continue on with this relationship or let it go. The questions you need to ask yourself are: "What am I learning from this relationship?" "What have I discovered or am I still uncovering about myself through this relationship?" "What new qualities am I developing?" "Is this partnership for my highest good?" "Is this partnership empowering me to be all that I am or can be?"
Lots to think about, I know! For what it's worth, there is a need for you to learn balance in relationships. Balanced giving and receiving. It feels like you are hanging onto this one out of fear and you need to let go. However, you are being encouraged to boost your self-esteem through this and part of the lesson is communication. So if you are confused about him and what his feelings/intentions are, then you need to pluck up the courage to be upfront with him. Tell him what you want from the relationship - and what you have not been getting. Express that you no longer want to be his ball of yarn or play thing and want a relationship with someone who is equally interested and involved. Then he can choose in or out. But be aware that most men do not communicate directly - especially when they are still young or immature. Usually, a non-answer is your answer. Unfortunately, most women use the non-answer as a reason to hang on.
So the white-knuckle grip I got was from the 4 of pents as your foundation along with the 7 of Wands as you/the situation and the 8 of pents crossing you with the Hanged Man as the environment/people you are involved with. The 4 of Pents suggests hanging on too tightly to something - not wanting to let go of the status quo. The 7 of Wands shows a struggle...struggling to stand/defend your ground, struggling to hang on, not going with the flow. The 8 of Pents can be a lot of things (as can all the cards), but it felt like working too hard -- once again, the struggle to hold on. The 8 of Pents can also be about life lessons and karma. The Justice card is also a card that can suggest karma and it also points to learning about balance in relationship. The Knight of Wands is the boy in question -- this is someone who is not ready to settle down and is busy having fun and "sowing his oats" if you know what I mean. Notice also that you have three 2's in your spread....Justice, 2 of cups and 2 of swords. 2's are about relationship, duality, balance, etc. I believe that 2 of Cups would have been reversed if you had been using reversals and the Justice card would have been reversed as well. The 8 of pents in this position suggests the fear and that circle of swords also suggests something repeating - repeating of a lesson or being stuck in a situation due to fear and lack of empowerment. The need for liberation. Your 2 of swords shows a relationship issue (2), the need to end mental conflict (the crossed swords and blindfold), as well as giving up the struggle. Your Hanged Man in a short and sweet way, says Surrender and Release. The need release control and let go of the past and accept that someone else upstairs is in charge. Your Queen of Wands is about self-esteem. Learning to communicate your needs and set your boundaries and not allowing anyone to step all over you or use you. I also get the reversed of letting go of your fear which tantamounts to releasing control. It may seem contrary, but sometimes letting go of control shows that we do not fear the future or unknown which shows that we have a healthy sense of ourselves and who we are - which means high self-esteem.
Hope this helps.
It helps a great deal! Thank you very much! Most of what you said, I sort of already knew... you know? I have been gearing up to just say are you in or out for a little while -- nothing ultimatum like or harsh -- because it hasn't been the best environment for me, stuck in the grey area. And it's okay if he wants to leave, truthfully, but I would really like him to stay. So yes, just surrendering to the cosmos will have to happen again. I had to learn it a few months ago. It is, in fact, a lesson I am getting tired of having to repeat.
When I just read for friends for fun, as practice, I have been really focusing on the big picture. I'm grad school for creative writing, so I TOTALLY understand about the macro versus the micro. It is just going to take more experience, I think, to get it better. And reversals. I'm going to add those in now and start working!
Thank you so much for your help. It was really wonderful and insightful. I wish you nothing but happiness
Sounds like you have your answer and know the best way to proceed As far as having to repeat lessons - I hear ya', sister!
Good luck and I hope he wakes up to what a wonderful woman he has in front of him.
Thanks a lot. I put myself out there, just simply: "You know, I think it'd be fun if we got a drink this week, if we both aren't busy." I got a yes, but it seemed extremely half-hearted. Then radio silence which has been going on for three days now. It sort of sucks, but I did learn an extremely valuable lesson, and at least now I have some firmer footing after receiving, haha, a non-answer
Also, reversals are hard!!!! But I'm trying. Thanks again for all your help. Never posted here before, but I can't help but think you were supposed to write me for some growing/transformation lesson. Onward and upward!
Just a bit of advice for the future...
We women can be a bit vague when we are in effect asking someone out - mostly because there is a part of us that doesn't want the rejection - to hear "no." So when you said you thought it would be nice if you got together...you, know "if you were both free" it really wasn't a full-on I am asking you out. What would you say to a guy who said that to you? Yeah, sure that would be great - some form of yes. But then you would expect him to get back to you on the particulars, right? So next time put on your Goddess Athena panties and not only ask if he would like to meet, but when he would be free and then set the date! THEN, if he is vague in his response and wishy-washy about his availability you will REALLY get the picture. A lot of times, when we say "yes" or "sure" but don't follow through (men and women alike) it's because we really don't want to hurt the other person's feelings - it's less uncomfortable to be vague in our reponses. And with men, it can often (and unfortunately) just be a way to keep their options open. That's what women interpret as "mixed signals" because the words and the actions do not add up. Always, always, always, look to actions above words.
That being said, I think this particular situation was just a lesson for you in speaking up and getting the message on the half-hearted way he was involved with you. Those non-answers are so incredibly informative, but most women ignore them. So you learned a very valuable lesson very quickly! Good for you!
Onward and upward, indeed