Taurus Male trying to win back Cancer woman
im a 24yr going on 25 old taurus and my 22yr going on 23yr old cancer girlfriend just broke up with me a week ago after 3yrs and weve been living together since sept. im very confused and heart broken.
the last month or so ive notice her getting very distant and i got the feeling that she was trying to get me to break up with her but instead i tried to discuss the issues i had notice and she just kept telling me she was just preoccupied with work and school, but yet she would make time to go to yoga or out to a cafe with her sister after work and wouldnt have time for me, and when she was home it was like i wasnt even there. she finally asked me if i felt alone in the relationship (because i had mentioned that a week or two ago) and i then asked if she was breaking up with me and she continued with a yes.
i know i was great in our relationship, she worked and went to school and i just worked so i really steped up my game and cooked cleaned did the laundry and what ever else i could to help make her load lighter. i also had moved 45 min away from my job just so that she could be a bit closer to her work and school which is also about 45min away now but was about 1 1/2hrs before.
thats a little background on how i was. now i noticed a few things that she was saying before this all happend. she had mentioned once that she was 19 when we started dating and that she has only had the experience of dating only 3 people (including myself). she aslo mentioned a few times that she wanted some sister time because usually we would hange out together with her sis and some of her other friends but i considered mine as well but i did meet them threw her. when she broke up with me she said she didnt think i was the person for her and that she felt traped.
im confused because about 2-3 months ago she mentioned that her sis and her were describing their ideal man and when she described hers her sis said she basically described me. and just 3 days before she broke up with me she sent me a text asking where i was because she had just gotten home from school and she was excited to see me but i wasnt there (i was at the store grocery shopping) we then went to dinner and a movie. then she broke up with me 3 days later.
that day i went to a cafe that she usually goes to about 1/2hr away downtown while she said she was at school studying and saw hanging out wtih some other guy. i just said " interesting seeing you guys here" then was like "k you guys take it easy" and left. she got home talked very little about it, she said she was studying her messaged her on facebook asked if she wanted to hang out so she did. i believe her and trust her.
i then left on thurs for work (we broke on mon) and stayed at my parents and friends untill mon (week after we broke). didnt talk to her fri, sat i noticed she unfreinded me my mom and brother. i then texted her that i noticed she had done that and i hope she was still taking care of my dog and treating her well, she said "shes fine" i didnt speak to her until i got home mon. i was nice and friendly acted like a friend and like i was great (just roomates). she was supposed to go out with her sis to dinner but her sis was taking too long so she was like "i think im gonna go to taco bell" i was like get me something she said just come with me if you want something. so we went i drove listened to good music, i paid she said no that she didnt want to owe me anything i explained to her that we were broken up and thats fine but i considered her a freind and i would normally pay for any "girl" friend and not to think anything of it. we got back home ate watched tv then she went out to her sisters. she mentioned to her sis on the phone that she had to make leave by 12am because she had work the next morning. she got home a little after 12 i asked what she did if she had a good time she said it was ok not that great the she never went out with her sis (i over heard that they were gonna go to a bar/club that that guy from before worked at which shes hung out with him a few time since we broke) they just stayed in. btw ive been sleeping on the couch while she sleeps in the bed which is actually mine but im a gentleman. so the next day she worked form 7-7 she woke up freaked out on me because she didnt want to turn the light on to not wake me when i told her it was ok no prob and she couldnt see so she freaked like it was my fault and said i was to sleep in the bed from now on, what ev... so when she got home we were fine i asked if she wanted to watch a show that was recorded cuz i did too and i would wait for her cuz there was no point in rewatching it. she mentioned she wanted some wings i mentioned that i bought food already so i wasnt cooking. but she didnt actually ask for me to do it but while she was in the shower i started to make them for her. so we watched tv she asked for one of my beers and we just hung out like friends. bullshiting here and there she mentioned that she was thinking about the fact that she hasnt made out with tongue since she was 16 and wasnt sure if she still didnt like it and misses that fact that she wasnt able to practice so i offered jokingly and she was like maybe. so a little later i was laying in the bed and was like lets practice. so we ended up making out she still couldnt do the tongue thing so we took a break i said lets drink a bit to loosen her up. we ended up talking about stuff and how i still love her and about how she felt there was something missing in our relationship and i said that there was something missing in her own life not in the relationship because before she was all about school and the past week school is on the back burner and shes been going out with her sis and this other dude still looking for what was missing. she didnt say much it was all civil. she also mentioned that the night before she only stayed her sis's for a little bit then that dude asked her over to hang out so she went they were talking and he kissed her then tried putting his hand up her shirt she pushed him off and said "im not just some peice of ass" and he said "youre not just a piece" then she left. i told her that he was just lookin to score. and the she shouldnt have even bothered he was a 30yr old bar tender in a metal band that looked like he was my age. after talking a bit more she was like im getting tired ready for bed so i said you still want to try and practice? in the end we ended up sleeping together (go figure) it was really good too and our sex life has been about once maybe twice a week and on the bland side. this moring i left for work i said sorry im leaving the house a mess but me making her food and some good sex should make up for it she laughed and i said i wouldnt be back for another week because of work and other things i had to do in the county that my jobs in.
i think a big influence on her has been her sis. a year older than her and a gemini. she always jeluose of her and when ever my girl has something better even an idea her sis tries to subconsciously put her thing down and make hers better. she always menttioned that its good to be single and meet people that its great and what not. in the past month shes been dating a guy with my name thats a taurus as well and this is actually the second guy in the past year with my name and a tuarus. she aslo mentioned back when i started seeing my girl that she wished there was like a replica of me cuz i was such a good guy. i noticed that she was putting me down and picking on me when weve been going out and my girl was doing it as well meen while she was talking about how great her new guy was. so i feel like she is intrigued with her sis's life and that why this is happening but i could just be grasping at staws and just imagining that theses things with her sis are happening. although a friend just told me he saw on her facebook today that she posted that some guy came up to her today they were talking a bit and he offered her a job after she graduated next year, and then her sis commented " see ive been telling you good things happen when our single"
all i know is i am madly in love with her and i want her back. i figure id go along with this break up work on myself a bit stay friends with her maybe one with benifits but hopefully win her back. i just want some other oppinions on the matter because i havent been able to think straight with all the mixed signals.
btw sorry for the novel but this has def helped me vent
If your so in love with her then why dont you go meet with her then?
Not sure I understand. I live with her so I see her at our apartment. Or I'm staying at my parents when I work and its gonna be abiut s week again.
I think her sister had something to do with that. She is pretty young so many she wants to be "Free" but I think if you give her time she will come to realize that she had everything she wanted in you and she let it go.
Are you willing to wait on this girl?
Of course I just texted her last night (after we were talking normally through texts) that I am very much in love with her and that if she wants to be single I have to be ok with that and that all I want it to at least be friends maybe with benefits (I tried to lighten the mood) and I'll be there for her if she ever needs someone, and that I wasn't expecting anything. She never texted me back after that. But I'd wait for her forever if need be. I was hoping to ask her to marry me this year but my issue was tht I didn't have enough money. And she was always sayin she didn't want to get married anytime soon. But on new years she jokingly proposed and got her knees and tried to put the promise ring I got her on my pinky finger. I said no cuz she was really drunk and I figured she was joking. She said that she was just kidding when she did that but I feel she was a bit serious. I just noticed today on instagram that she posted pics of wedding dresses and made a comment "why can't I find a guy I'm madly in love with and just get married so I can wear one of these dresses". Then her friend that is getting married after about a year of being with the guy said something and she replied "at least ur getting married and have an excuse to wear it.". I don't know if I'm grasping at straws but do you think she wanted (subconsciously) to ask her to marry her and when I didn't she started to think I'm not the one or is it as simple as she likes the dresses. I find myself constantly trying to make sense of it all and my mom keeps telling me I'm trying to make up resones or excuses that will make me feel better. But I'm a very logical Taurus and I am very good at reading in between the lines even when people say that I'm not right (the subconscious is a very powerful thing) idk. FML!
I am so sorry you’re going through this.
I heard that Cancers are very bad at that. They give people little "test" and then get really upset when you don’t meet their expectation’s. Which is totally not fare.
I don’t know what to tell you to do dude. I dont know much about cancers only the things I've read in this form. But I think its for sure that you need some time to heal. I know how us Taurus get with break ups. We go through every conversation with a fine tooth comb and try and decipher some hidden motive behind how where feeling. We are very much "cause and effect" type people.
I think your girl I just rebelling, and it sucks that she is doing it on your emotional account.
I really hope a cancer female answers your question. Or at lest my boy CancerTeen (why cant this website have an instant message feature) CancerTeen is really good about breaking down what your girl/guy was thinking.
It would be silly to think she got upset because you didn’t pop the question.
Thanks tor the advise. Its funny chz I have been going over every confvo text and message trying to figure it out. I'm just gonna go with the flow for now try and heal and hope for the best it just ducks chz I always fall so hard and it almost seems that's the issue. That these girls I fall for aren't ready fir what I want. But what ev I just gotta roll with the punches. I do wish another cancer femail would reply maybe give me a little insight on the matter.