Shuabby, your insight please
Really need your insight on this one.
B and I drifted apart 6 months ago, at the peak of our very short 'relationship' - don't know why. Is he still interested in me - is there something there worth fighting for? Does he know I have feelings for him.
Please tell me what i can do. I love this man....
Also, I hope your kitty is doing fine. I have an elderly cat myself and my love goes out to Shu Shu and you
B was there when you needed him as what I receive for you, he may call you again in the future after you stop thinking about him. He does not really know of your feelings for him as you are full of fear is what I receive here. You have to let go of what happen to you in the past as you can not go back and change or fix it. You only have today and to live it in the best way possible for you and those you love and want in your life.
If you do not want to wait for B to call you, drop him a card and tell him you miss hearing from him and see where that takes you.
Shu is better, but what a bad experience for her , I had the feeling not to let them give her the shots but they told me that they had changed the vacines and she should not be sick from them , or if she was only slightly. I will never have her given vacinations again.
Thanks for asking.
Thanks so much for replying. I was frightened when I heard about Shu Shu. So glad she is better I have never let my cat have shots, because he's afraid of going out and gets extremely stressed out at the vet's. He's pretty old - but still like a baby - so I just don't want to subject him to that if I can help it. And after your experience with your kitty, I think we were right not to get him vaccinated. Give Shu Shu extra hugs from me and my little boy at home
I thought B lost interest in me and left? And I was very sad for a long time because we were doing great. I remember you telling me that he would become distant and busy with work, so I tried to give him space and keep an open mind. I ignored this little voice that kept telling me to reach out to him and let him know how I was feeling. All that space and silence backfired. After a failed attempt at meeting up in November, we drifted apart. He just stopped contacting me (except occasional texts) and only responds when I text him. I have tried to ask him out a few times - even told him I missed him (last did that in Feb) - and he said he missed me but also said he was busy. No attempt to re-schedule. He just doesn't seem interested.
We see each other every week (he's in my social environment) and that just makes it harder for me to 'forget'. We both act like nothing happened when in fact at one time, we were so close and intimate.
For awhile, I embraced the love I had for him because it was healing me.. Now I feel frightened because i don't know anymore if I'm supposed to hold on to that love. Cos it feels like me against the world. Maybe what you're sensing in me is my conflicted mind. I love him - but because it looks so hopeless, I'm trying to let go. I have tried to push away my feelings for him repeatedly. And they keep coming back.
I want to get to know him, and see if we can be each other's companion, friend and lover, if this will work well for both of us. If it's meant to be. Right now, I don't know much of anything I don't even know if he's got someone else in his life. Or if he's not interested anymore or already moved on and I'm not supposed to mess things up there.
You once told me that I would've met the man I was going to marry by the end of summer last year. Seems like that didn't happen I would like to say it's B, but at the rate I'm going, it's not anyone.
What can I do Shuabby? I still feel a trace of him around. Do I have a chance with him? Or is it a lost cause?
Really appreciate any advice you can give. Thanks dear!
I really feel like you have done everything that you can do to have B in your life. What I perdict today has the ability to change with the flow of a person life and deceisions made. I would say that you had a romance with B to place in the book of heartfelt memories and now it is time for you to move on.
You will meet another man that is a bookworm type of man, sounds boring? He will be anything but that once he gets his motor going. You will be just the B-12 shot he needs to propell him into action and the joy of living will be shared by you both. I see the sun shining brightly here , so you should have him in your life by July-August.
Amor Is coming. Hang Tight!
Thank you so much for your words. I find them very healing.
Somehow I don't feel like I have done all that I can. I stopped short of telling him how I really feel about him. I'm in two minds on this. Some part of me feels I will gain closure more easily if I get that off my chest. Do you think I should go to him?
I know you mentioned before that you are a healer. Could I trouble you to send me some 'healing vibes' to help me make peace with my feelings and move on? My email is firstname.lastname@example.org if you need that. I had previously gone to a pranic healer 3 years ago and after 2 visits, he really helped me to release a lot from a bad relationship. And with self-effort, a new found love of dance and time, I was able to heal completely.
I am stopping short of asking if you can 'remove' how I feel about B - unless you think that's a good idea? Also mindful that you said things can and do change as the future is not set in stone. It's just difficult to move on when I keep running into him. Right now, it's a little easier as he's out of the country. It makes sense to me to move on and heal instead of hanging on. I suppose if I should move on and B contacts me again - I will just have to reassess things as they are then?
Glad to know that there might be Amor out there for me I've been alone so much and so long. A bookish man is not my type. I rather hoped he would be a dancer (laughs). I want so much to be with someone who has a shared passion that way, as B does.
Can I ask - are there several people out there for us, or just the one? I thought it was so sweet when you shared how you knew straightaway your husband was the one for you. I felt an immediate feeling about B - and I do wonder if he and I had any past life history, maybe of the karmic sort...
Sorry to ask so much. I am curious about a small financial investment my sis and I made - will it pay off and when?
Thanks Shuabby. I am so grateful to be able to talk to you. You might have been the first one I sought advice from, on B. Full cycle
Hi Danceur, I see your ID on here quite often. I understand what your going through. I had painful breakup last year, and I still feel hurt up to now. Its hard. Sometimes we thought we had the strength to move on, but this "powerful"energy can clash out of a sudden. Maybe he doesnt deserve you. And I am sure your a warm hearted woman who deserves someone much better than him. Hang in there. Love will come. Once it comes, you will realize you can still love just like the way you did. Maybe more intense. I have some healing audio that i can send to you if you want. I got them from an A-list psychic in the Los Angeles area.
Hope I was not impertinent in asking about the 'healing vibes' - to kickstart me in the right direction on letting go and moving on. You have a real calm and kind presence and a healing effect on me, so I thought to ask you. Though hll has kindly offered some audio to help with that (and thanks dear) - I just wouldn't feel comfortable that it comes from a source I haven't interacted with.
I feel so strongly for B, on so many levels - and I don't know how I'm gonna commit to getting over him if I can't avoid him in my environment all the time.
If I am not ready to welcome this new person in July/Aug - will there be another for me? Is that how the Universe works? Or is it just the one person for each of us? Just realised I am looking for a man with emotional courage - who will really want me in his life and will make effort for that to happen
Love to you Shuabby (and Shu Shu).
We never miss a distine opt for love. Yes, we can choose to not allow it to happen at that time , but rest assured that the people that are to be your lover, teacher ect will come into your life when the time for them is there and you need them.
You need to change your mind about B. Working around him daily would be emotionally tough if you allow it to be. Ask yourself some questions: Does he seem upset in anyway that you two are no longer together? Does he act sad or unhappy?Does he try to talk to you in a loving way and reassure you that he still cares for you? If not than you really need to reacess your feelings and get them back on an even keel. What have you learned from this experience, is really an important question to ask yourself. Are you now stronger now than you were before?
I really feel that you will be ready for a new person by end of summer. As I feel you smiling and laughing again and feeling better than you have in a long while.
Thanks for the advice - to reframe how I think of him. I think this in itself is healing me and I will take it to heart. It's not going to be easy tho. These last 2 weeks as he's been out of the country - but he'll be back by the weekend and I feel anxiety knowing the whole cycle of running into him and missing him will restart. I want to do right by myself...wow it's hard to let go.
I'm not working with him, but he's in my social environment and I see him several times a week. This short relationship with B - he's hidden his feelings a lot. Even when things were good with us, there were periods when he was aloof. It's just in his nature. So even if he still cares for me now, I wouldn't really know. I was so sure he was 'falling into this with me' just before things started drifted apart.
Is it still a possibility that he may contact me at some point? Cos I think he wanted to and backed out.
There is a small financial investment my sis and I made. And I'm wondering if you're able to see anything on whether it will pay off anytime soon.
Does the way forward lie in cutting ties with him and not being friends? tonight I pretended he didn't exist - to his face. I could've been pleasant, but I'm just in a dark place at the moment. I just kept my head down, walked off, didn't say goodbye, just turned and went. And I felt horrible. I don't do that to people I care about.
But I think when I maintain status quo and am congenial, as I have been for 6 months, it keeps me in denial about the state of things and my own disappointment. If I'm cold, we won't interact, he won't approach me anymore. But our friendship will be gone. It is not the outcome I want.
I don't want to hurt him or myself... I don't want to burn bridges. I don't know if I just did that already. I don't know what I'm doing... I just don't want to do the wrong thing in trying to do the right thing.
Really hope you can give me some advice.
You are right in showing your true feelings toward him now, as you can not or do not want to pretend that you are not hurt. Sense you know that he will leave you alone and the friendship will be gone, than you must accept your decision and walk through the pain of it until your healing is over and you will be able to face him and see him and even talk to him at work and you will feel normal and happy again. This will pass and you will be happy again .
What have you learned from this experience is what you need to know and no one else does.
Keep your chin up and hold your head high. Happiness will be yours.
I went and did arguably the worst thing ever - i texted him and told him how i felt, that things have been tough and I'm learning to accept the feelings aren't mutual and moving on but that i value the friendship and wanted for us to be ok with each other. But he didn't reply. And I think he's now upset and ignoring me because he believed things were already 'ok'. And I have rocked the boat and he's not used to people doing that.
Somehow I feel I did the right thing. Because in order to move on, I needed to feel like I did right by myself and also that I had done my best to salvage the friendship we have. Had hoped he would do the 'right' thing and accept the olive branch and that the peace we would both feel would heal us and that i could finally let this go (as he apparently already has). In an unhappy sense, I guess seeing that he doesn't seem to care would also achieve the same effect in the end. But it'd be a lot harder on me.
Do you sense I've truly lost him now (friendship, good will, all of it)? I didn't want that.
At first when I did it I felt relieved - that a burden had been lifted. I know I wanted to be free of feeling I was held hostage to this situation. But now I'm feeling held hostage to his silence and standoff. His silence is making me feel so unsettled. I'm getting little anxiety attacks and I've having trouble sleeping. And I just wonder if there is something that can be done in terms of healing. I've heard of cleansing of chakras etc.
Because I don't work with him - but I see him in m environment 3, 4 times a week. I just want to go forth in real peace - knowing that I did the right thing (hope I did). Maybe I did it wrong, but deep down I know I did it for me. As it should have been.
Need your help Shuabby.