TheCaptain, please help.

  • Something profoundly personal and horrifying to my family came to light, concerning my relationship with my current boyfriend. As a result, I am not allowed to spend any time alone with him. This happened in February, but we have managed to see each other, my mother even picking him up on my birthday to take us out for dinner and a movie, he even apologized before we went, ven though my mother and him have had lots of difficulty getting along.But, that was April 3rd. And I'm worried to ask my mother again because my mother and I's relationship has grown stronger, and I don't want to rock the boat. I have been through so much the past 3 months. We have hung in there.

    Can you offer me some advice? I'm sorry I'm being so discrete, I wouldnt be of it were a private discussion. But, by god, I miss him. And I'm wondering the next best step. What do you see in my relationship's future? Thank you, Captain.

    Me: April 3rd, 1996. Born 4:07am in Artesia, California, U.S.

    Him: October 9th, 1993

  • Danielle, your friend is never completely sure if he is sane or crazy, intelligent or psychotic, and this fear can profoundly influence his life unless he deals with it. He may even be convinced that some family curse of madness has been passed onto him and that no amount of headshrinking, positive thinking, or medication is going to do a bit of good. Yet he could in fact be a mastermind with unorthodox or iconoclastic ideas - there is often a very fine line between genius and madness. It's a matter of perspective. But ethnic and cultural differences will definitely color all his relationships. He must learn to establish a strong mental connection that crosses national, social, religious and racial ties - to be connected to others while confidently being his own person. He is actually highly psychic which may account for some of the odd things that occur to him.

    The main theme of this relationship will be analysing and examining what other people do. This is your friend's forte and he can teach you much. He will probably enjoy the relationship more than you will since being the student will not sit all that well with you. Still this relationship will be a real education for you. Your friend knows a great deal about the world and its inhabitants. He can teach you how to dress, how to act, how to present yourself in your best light to the world. Always eager for attention, you will lap up this information. You two are exact opposites and this explains the attraction and fascination with each other. Your relationship is highly unconventional, private and not easily understood by others.

    Ultimately though, your friend is going to have difficulty handling your direct and uncompromising energy. Your approach to him can be like a knife cutting butter. He is more indirect and indecisive than you. He will try to make the relationship more agreeable and less strange, but his preference for compromise is usually a poor defense against your willpower. Still, the ability to observe you at close range will be irresistible to him.

    However, although initially opposites do attract, in the end you may be just too different to get along for the long haul. But learn from this while it lasts.

  • Thank you, Captain. 🙂 I feel that the description of him being on the line of mad and genius is so correct. Everything you wrote gave me chills. Madness does run in his family.

    However, previous to therapy, I sound a lot like the way you described. Uncompromising, with a strong willpower and decisive nature. However, I've become a lot more placid, and whenever we have a problem, we're both very direct with one another; he encourages that openness and honesty greatly. We are different, and I am determined to not make this a learning experience, but to make it for the long haul.

    However, I'm a teenager. So time will tell.

    Thanks again, Captain. 🙂

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