Caught in love triangle

  • Well at least I think it's a love triangle. I'm currently dating a capricorn. I love him with all my heart n soul. We have some problems. Sometimes we clash. He's too affable n I'm too jealous. N he has alot of friends. They call on him all the time. Some weeks I'm lucky if I get to see him for more than a few hours. So I'm lonely. So I call my friend up, who's a cancer by the way. N I get the feeling, he likes me a lil. We've known each other for years. I've known him longer than my Capricorn. But this cancer had dated my best friend. Who was like a sister to me. Besides the creepy fact that she had the same birthday as my biological sister. Who I absolutely love. They're libras. We've had so much crazy fun together. Well my ex bestfriend now broke it off with me because of her ex cancer boyfriend had included me on their fights. I'm not sure y he did this. Maybe cuz he couldn't control the situation she would get way out of hand n attempt suicide twice n get arrested. Which was the path my relationship with my boyfriend the Capricorn was going. I broke down one day n told him I didn't want this anymore. It wasn't healthy. The way we fought someone was going to get hurt. We need a couple therapist at least if we were to continue seeing each other. So in the midst of all our fighting. I was gravely depressed n unhappy, especially by myself. Knowing if I was with my boyfriend we will be angry and unhappy. So he went out with his friends n I went out with one of my only friends; the cancer. We got drunk. We started talking about who he was secretly crazy about. N it turned out to be me. I care about the cancer. One of my only trust worthy friends; obviously not trusting enough to keep his hands off me but at a verbal stance I trust him. It makes me so unhappy. I love my capricorn I'm willing to work out any problems. He's my best friend n my true love. Despite everything. The cancer will always be a friend to me that I will miss talking to. I just don't like the cancer always approching me in some seductive way always trying to get me to him. We kissed. Well I kissed him because I've never kissed anyone besides my capricorn before. N since having all these problems I wanted to know if there was something that I was missing. There's not. My Capricorn still beats him in kissing. But I'm afraid the cancer is in a strong infactuation with me. I don't want what i've done to get to my capricorn boy friend. I think he would forgive me n exile me from my cancer friend but also charge to the cancer's house. We all used to be friends. What am I going to do? Keep in silent even if this secret is making me depressed? I want to tell my Capricorn. I tell him everything. But I do not want this to hurt him.

  • Hi there,

    To tell or to not tell. A general rule of thumb I recommend is to do or say nothing that will change someones world view. Also something to consider, is the desire for couples counseling at this early stage in your relationship.

    This sounds a great deal like unnecessary drama feeding on your life. Take a step back and simply ask yourself, is this how I would like to see myself living life?

    Many blessings,


  • Hi, If your looking for a serious relationship, I think the Cap isn't being fair w/you. If your not seeing each other for long periods of time, you don't really know what's up on that front. The cancer is very attracted to you and you seem to be able to communicate w/him better. In comparison MAY seem better. Personally, I wouldn't waste a lot of time on someone that you hardly see. This is making you extremely unhappy because you care so deeply for him. This is what I call a very casual relationship with not a lot of definition (and maybe not a lot of boundaries.)

    I would definately end one relationship before starting another. Might want to step back like Ahliyah mentioned. Hope this helps.

  • A step back. Sometimes I think I mentally block this task. Ok. I'm try to stick to one guy n not talk to the cancer as much. Because I love this Capricorn. N I'll to set boundries n set out my needs. Hopefully, he'll change for me.

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  • When you begin setting your boundaries - he will respect you for standing up for yourself.

    I've spent the 12 years with my Cappy, and he's pulled every cat out of the bag to test my honor and respect for my own values and morales. I got the biggest positive response from him when he asked me what I wanted from our relaitionship, and I simply explained that all I wanted was for him to be himself. Cappy's need a lot of rope sometimes to enjoy some time alone as they are very self sufficient and to bound that quality would be smothering your Cappy, and away he would go. If you want your Cappy to change, you'll have to integrate into your dating an opporunity (time) for him to make that change because you grew, and he will step up to your new boundaries as he's also very competitive.

    I've learned with my Cappy that since ladies are the "managers" of the relationship, we can use our Cappy's best traits to guide them along. Oh, and also build him up with praise for his constructive ideas - let him be your hero but tell him that he is - Cappy's do have pretty big egos that need feeding and nuturing just like everyone. He will notice your change and "react" to your "action". Hope this works for you. If you decide to really be with your Cappy, then just like any relationship, it requires maintenace to remain healthy. Things flow smoother between you when each partner can use the other's good traits to get things done (together as a team). This would endear anyone to you when you are in control but no one can tell (LOL!)

    Once you decide on a Cappy be prepared to spend some time waiting for him to get serious with one person. My Cappy was single for 30 years and had lots of "fun" with women who also didn't want to/or couldn't have an exclusive relationship. If they ever mentioned anything to him about making it serious he would step out of their lives and go to the next. My Cappy also had a ga-zillion friends and acquaintences when I met him. As we cultivated our love for one another, the acquaintences drifted away, and only the closest friends remain today. My Cappy has grown-up and is the most wonderful passionate human being I've ever met. I love him madly and currently we are working on the logistics of making our union official. We'll get there.

    Much Luck to You.

  • Hello fellow gemi let's keep it real- are you using mr. cancer "friend" to keep you company cause you KNOW Mr. capricorn "boyfriend" is no good for you? Be careful people including you will be hurt. I say if you love and want to be with Mr. Cap tell him what you need (including councleing) and if he can't/won't give it to you, you already know the answer. As for Mr. cancer I had one of those, things changed when I took him more serious (they are a handful), but you know and have known for quite some time how he feels about you. I know you care for him and depend on him to lift your spirits , but this is not really a friendship because he loves you in a different way. Sombody will get hurt (maybe everyone).

    Oh yeah is cap your high school sweetie or something, those are the hardest to get past, but you've got to get out more if you've only kissed 2 people in a lifetime (one you don't even like like that ) There are some great guys out there who can do some mind blowing tricks that'll make you forget all about a man who's too busy to make sure your needs are met. I am glad to know that I'm not the only gemini who falls hopelessly, blindly, foolishly in love for ever!!! We have a reputaton for not really being capable of this type of commitment and loyalty. (I was the same way)married young and rebelled at 29. I've been in love with 4 people and still love them all!!!!

    Can't promise a happy ending but it beats sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

    P.S. Don't tell Mr. capricorn that you kissed Mr.cancer he may though it back in your face, or use it as excuse to hurt you.

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