AstraAngel - Follow up to a reading
I copied the original reading here:
The King Swords is the first card… Kings are "releasing" energies, so there is something intellectual that you are desiring to let go?
The Four Wands, which is foundational (4) energy in the realm of self-identity. You are "manifesting" a new you, a new identity that you started with in the 1 and have affirmed and planned until you are now expressing this new you.
Then, the Ace of Pentacles which is a new step in material direction, or the beginning of a material new start at something (new job?).
Under the Ace… Knight of Wands… very focused on the self identity. Whatever it is that you are manifesting in your self identity/role/concept, you are all about that now.
So, something must be going on with you "on the side" like another expressive realm for you? And that you feel is calling you, and as your heart wants to go in this "new you" direction, you are struggling inside, (with your career path?) and that is then reflected as these feelings of distress and being unfocused. I think its because your heart is being pulled in another direction (that ACE of Pentacles). There must be a creative (ace) project or new area of expression for you - go for that!
Meanwhile, I would keep your head low at work, I think you're right, "do nothing" is the best idea there for sure… while you give that "new you" self identity a chance to really be something beautiful and solid (4 wands + Knight Wands). And you can RELAX knowing everything is being taken care of for you, so you can enjoy…. whatever wonderful changes come your way!
I hope that made some sense Jenever7. Follow your heart!
So, AstraAngel - You amaze me (or should I say your new cards do!) Your reading is exactly correct. I was on a new path - one very much in line with what I always had hoped to do career-wise. I was cruising along learning as I went with the goal in mind to eventually be doing the kind of creative work that I really love, when the company I work for went through a complete upheaval. I lost my boss (who was a wonderful mentor and actually inspired me to "follow my heart" as you also stated - unfortunately he chose to leave the company rather than deal with the new management structure). In the new situation I have been assigned to a boss who not only doesn't care whether I succeed, she is the very person who tried to get me fired two years ago.
The foundation I thought I was building has been shaken severely. It was a very difficult time two years ago when I nearly lost my job. Very uncomfortable remaining, but there was security and opportunity in my staying on. I am very concerned that new boss will now find a way to either hold me back, or even eliminate my job. She was not happy that I was allowed to stay two years ago - it was a slap in the face to her as I was taken under the wing of the Chief Operating Officer (her boss). She is a very cold woman and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see her want to take revenge on me. Even if I'm wrong, to have such thoughts is not a good way to face each day. The work I am doing now is necessary and important, but it was not where my heart lies. I just knew it was important at the time, there was no one else to do it, and so I "knuckled down" and dealt with it. Now I am concerned that I'll be stuck in it. That the more creative aspects of the projects we work on will go to someone else - especially if new boss thinks that's what I want. Isn't it awful to think that someone would do that to a person, but I believe she would. I have zero trust in her to be fair, understanding, or to put my talent to it's best use if she thought it would make me happy.
So there you see, there is that other thing calling me. The goal I set two years ago, but I am not quite prepared to leave and pursue it. There were still things I need to learn. I literally need some coursework to gain certain skills. My employer will pay half of the cost for work-related classes so it's a great deal. But time...that is my issue. Single working mom, three kids and a household to run leaves very little time (or energy) to go back to school. So I'm currently trying to think of the fastest way to get the background I need, in order to keep moving towards my goal and not be derailed by the current uncertainties or the fear of what the future holds. Sigh...it is a challenge.
That Ace of Pents is very optimistic though isn't it. Whether I stay put or find a way to move on, it looks like I will find rewards ahead. And the 4 of Wands helps give me confidence that the foundation I was building is solid.
Thank you so much for the reading Astrangel. Very kind of you to take the time and it really has helped calm my thoughts. Interesting that the King of Swords has appeared as the first card. I had asked a forum friend to pull a single card in back in January that represented the general energy in my life, sort of a “New Year” card to guide me. That card was also the King of Swords. My friend said that it meant to look at everything fairly and impartially before making any decisions– do not be judging. Isn’t it interesting to see that the energy of the King of Swords remains in effect? Just as interesting is how, no matter what deck an individual uses, the message will come through the same. Really it’s almost unbelievable when you think about it. What were the odds?
I will keep you up to date on any changes. My instincts tell me that the situation is very volatile right now. Anything could happen really. I suppose it’s just human nature to expect and prepare for the worst, or maybe it’s just my nature. You know how unsettled a Cancer can get when her security is at risk. Just a bundle of worries. But it feels like there is so much at stake. I have had years of turmoil and the past couple years were the first that I finally felt life was settling down for a change. So now I question which is more important, security versus finding a way to live what's in my heart. We all face times like these of course, I just didn't see this one coming. A complete shocker. Thought I had more time. I guess I feel unprepared and wishing I had more of that foundation built. But, it's not like I have lost my job - yet - so I suppose I better channel those worries into forging ahead with my dream somehow. I will focus on that Ace out there.
I think you are totally on the right track. I can tell you are taking things in stride. Yes the Ace is always a bright sign!
I drew three cards, Page swords (risking in the thought life, a viewpoint could be changing and it feels little nervous maybe yay!)
5 Pentacles (changes materially or in a security pattern). So far then, we seem to be saying you are risking a change in your material life
7 wands (dreaming or imagining your new identity after the 5 change and 6 cycling energies). So this seems to be a time today where you are imagining some fun changes for yourself! (materially, career, that sort of thing).
I can relate to the two year journey, been experiencing something like that too! In any case, hold fast to your bliss, your dream vision of your life and hang on!
Well AstraAngel, it's a good thing you were reading those next three cards and not me, I don't think I could have put the same positive spin on them that you found. I would have seen suspicion in the Page, feeling outcast in the 5, and standing up against adversaries in the 7. But that's okay too. I try to take the negative aspects of the cards as information or subtle warnings and not destiny. (The absence of Major cards suggests that the negative influences are easily shifted). Wouldn't hurt for me to see more of the positive aspects as you do though, rather than seeing the down side first then fishing for the brighter side. But I am in a defensive mode, and very conscious of that right now, so my take on things reflects my general distrust of situations. Because of this tendency to be affected by the negative images though, I quit reading cards in reversal years ago. Figured I knew the negative qualities well enough that I didn't need them thrown in my face. Although this sometimes leaves me at a loss as to whether to pay the most serious attention to the positive or to the negative message. Since I'm one to overthink things, that sort of confusion probably suits me though. Gives me more to think about, lol.
That's what is cool about the deck that you made though, you have no obvious reversals. It's a bit abstract and maybe leaves you more open to the positive? Interesting thing about these "journeys" we're on. As I reflect back, during the first couple of years when I had no solid footing materially, I found that I was more spiritually satisfied. More "magical" things seemed to come into my life. Now the past two years of being on more solid ground materially, and I find that it came at the cost of some of that "magic". There was a time when taking risks was more fear-filled, and maybe that's why I am better at taking things in stride right now. At a time when circumstances were pretty close to about the worst that I could imagine, the best things were happening. Like the "Hanged Man", when you give things up, then you find, or maybe just create, more space to receive. But obviously that idea isn't ingrained in me or I wouldn't be looking for guidance right now. At the same time, your guidance helps me to remember how things have worked in the past and remember that life if full of unknowns that will find their way in if I'm not looking too closely for only one answer. You know what I mean?
Thanks for the additional cards. You've been a great help and your positive attitude is always so uplifting. You are a really special person and I'm grateful that you were here to help at this time.