We are going to court
Well I know you don't want to hear any more about my divorce and Ron, but I wanted to write and tell you that he replied to the latest offer and came back with a very unreasonable amount, so now John is mad and we are going to take him to court.
I know you are right and I will be okay, so I am getting ready for the battle of my life.
I'm glad John is mad! Ron will make another offer within a week he is served. You WILL be fine! BLESSINGS! And Angel hugs to your mother.
WEll I came up with an amount I think Ron will agree to and I am going to see John today to get the wheels moving again. He is ready totake Ron to court and wants me to sign the papers today.
I have a problem the last few nights I wanted to ask you about.
I have had a hard time sleeping since this all started snd have had many nights that I wake in full panic attack and can't go back to sleep. You told me to picture angels protecting me and a chant to help me and that has worked for a very long time.
The last 2 nights however I have woken at exactly 2am, sweating, can't breath and can not go back to sleep.
I have tried everything and as you know if I don't get my sleep It causes me to fall apart.
I got this feeling last night that it had something to do with her as she is a bartender and 2 would be when she gets off work
My question is how to make it stop and again why does she wish me harm, she won, he is with her, I no longer want him back she can have him.
NANCY! I sent a post and it disapeared! I'm so late right now---will get back later!!!!
Had a meeting today let me know what you think about my 2 am thing please.
OK---not sure why the post disapeared! But have to trust it was either for good reason OR the negative energy coming at you intervened. It is within your power to deal with this. I feel as if this situation with fighting back and fearing anger is just another opportunity to get stronger as this shows up in other areas of your life. I so get it as an empath it can be unbearable to feel others hatefulness! I work on this constantly as it is ideal to be detached from what others think of you yet when the energy of their hate is washing through you it's easier said then done! Before I give you advice I'll share a recent example that happened to me. Even though I know how to deal with poisen arrows at a distance--which is what you are getting and I know how to walk away in public, recently I found myself in a surprise situation---I was at a crowded resturant (cracker barrel) with my husband---they put us in the middle where we would have been sitting with strangers---we gave our order---after our waitress left I noticed the single tables to the left of us suddenly two were empty and being cleaned---I flagged another waitress--asked could we move to one of those and she said sure--just let our waitress know. I figurd she'd find us as we were close by. I asked my husband which one he prefered--it was no preference so just took the last corner spot. Fast forward---I keep getting bad feelings--look up and notice were they let you in by the hostess seems people are looking at us---There's a black woman with a child--dressed nice like from church (it was sunday) The woman looked very angry and I kept feeling it was me--I did something wrong! OK--I said that's crazy so kept trying to use my logic and ignore but no matter what distraction I tried I kept being drawn to this drama going on---looked up and now more people are around her and feel them talking about me---again my logic is saying this does not make sense BUT I could FEEL it--intense emotion running through me. I again detached---the table we left suddenly got filled by a large family and I thought how nice spirit moved us and now that family was able to have a large place to themselves. The other empty table in fron of us the waitress seated the angry lady with the little girl---She was looking at me hatefuly-but luckly when she sat although she faced me my husband blocked her from my view. Again I detached but everytime something went on with her I was connected--I saw a waitress who seemed nervouse talking to her then a man in a manager shirt was there and I kept feeling awful! When my waitress came with our food she said out loud OH there you are surprised and the angry lady shouted yes SHE STOLE MY TABLE! Her voice was pure hate--not a little angry or annoyed but intense hate! I said to my waitress--what is going on--I DID ask permission to move but it's no big deal---please tell her that and tell her we can switch tables. The waitress said oh don't worry ignore it. Nancy no matter how I tried I could not ignore it--I could not even taste my food. My mind was trying to figure out how we could have stolen her table as it's a freakin cracker barrel and we were there first. Everytime I'd finelly detach someone would come back to that angry lady to ask her is everything fine and the feeling came back. I'm mostly a peace maker and speak up if there is a misunderstanding so after the waitress brushed me off I looked at the angry woman me smiling and said mam mam do you want this table--we can switch.. She acted like she didn't hear so I got up walked to her and with a ll the loving energy I could gather said mam--I apologize if we took your table we can switch--I was expecting a positive response as mostly when you meet someone from a place of love they respond--I was expecting her to be happy or at least express what happened--why that table was "hers". Instead she raised her hand up towards my face and with hate said back off! Get away from me I'M HAVING A MEAL WITH MY DAUGHTER! BACK OFF! Her daughter looked into my eyes with terror I went back to my seat and no matter what I tried could not shake her--then the tears came---I was mortified! Could not believe I was crying in my pancakes and I'm pretty tough about restraint. Our waitress came and asked how we were doing and I said not so good considering the issue with the angry lady--she said oh don't let it bother you. What was odd there was no hate projected towards my husband--or the waitresses--just me. I asked the waitress again to please explain to that woman I did not intentialy steal her table but she acted like it was no big deal but truth is she avoided us the rest of our meal. The moment that angry lady left I could feel the hate leave but I was not the same and I was aware and capable of viewing myself but unable to process what and why. I felt so HURT. It made no sense--why did I feel so hurt? Hurt enough to cry. On the way out paying the lady at the register asked me about my meal and I said I just wanted to pay already and leave--she was so loving and was determined to not let me go until I told her what happened so I did --I swiped my card but she wouldn't finish the transaction until the real manager came--I said no--do not bother I don't feel well just let me go. In the end the manager gave us a card for a meal anything we wanted on the house and we left. I still fought tears all the way home! And at the same time was saying spirit what was this about? What do I need to work on---why did I feel so hurt? I honestly was surprised it happened. My brain said oh she's nuts ignore her --my husband did--but my body was overcome with emotions. It felt so out of control! I do not like that! I prayed in the resturant for clarity and spirit said--that lady came in angry--befor she layed eyes on me---her daughter and her were seperated and she did not have custody but was having a visitation. There was a very deep great anger in her--at another woman and I became the focus of that hate. That pure rage---this woman felt a deep unspent anger and could not hurt that person back so she carried it around. I spent many days medatating on this---what should I have done. What can I change in myself perhaps. Should I have raised my own anger? NO that would have allowed her anger to feed and explode. Do I need to try new sheilding excercises? What I came up with was I should have not worried about being a bother and should have honored my psychic empathetic gift and asked to be moved far out of range of that woman. Instead I judged myself for being upset when it did not hurt anyone else like it was hurting me. So, long story short Nancy--YOU ARE EMPATHETIC. You will be this way till you die and this 2am poisen arrow assult is real. Trust you gut and yes it is HER and him as well although he does not send you hate--maybe frustration--anger but he does not send you hate. But she has intense deep rage she directs towards you. You must acknowledge your vulnerability as it often holds you back in life when called to fight back or be in situations of others anger---you are doing much better with that. You avoid conflict--not because you are not strong but because like me you FEEL it and it is painful or hurtful. Emotions of others wash through you. And sometimes you take them home. Part of your panic attacks are twofold---going into a fight with Ron---just the reality of confrontation brings up old fears but that you have learned to deal with but HER hatefulness is a much bigger issue to fight. Acknowledge it is real and know that you are safe. You are not stuck in a room with her. Before you go to sleep pray for Saint Michael to protect you as you sleep. See him handing you your own shield and see yourself holding it up as arrows come at you and say all hateful arrows that come towards me will be deflected and will return to sender--see them bounce off and fly back towards were they came. Say it with conviction! You can say--I know you hate me but I a not that person and you may not cross my boundries of protection--your hate is misplaced. You can use your own words--this is just the intention I want you to get. Her hate is misplaced--like the woman who focused on me. You are a scapegoat for all that is not right with her--first for years she blamed all that was lacking or wrong in her life was because he was still with you--but he did not blame him no because he talked her into believing it was you---the kids--excuses for his behaviour. Her only choice was to believe him or she would have to see his failings. She is in denial and so is he. Then she gets him but honestly it's not real as Ron is not gotten by anyone! He is detached---loveing and open as he CHOOSES and shut down when he DECIDES. She put all her happiness on external events--that if he would leave you all would be finely perfect and she would be happy. It is not happening at all like that. Still, she is not ready to reflect on herself but still blames you--they are not happy yet because of the divorce. He promised her many many things Nancy that did not come true and the big one? Just like he promised you he promised her he would take care of her--in fact he tells her constantly--he's taking care of it--don't worry about the mone--the divorce--it's all taken care of. Then she finds out no it is not under control no the alimoney will not go away no he is not getting the house---so many things are not as she believed. She believed what she wanted to and honestly, you've been there when he lays on the big protector got it all under control act. So again, she must either wake up and see her life and Ron for who he really is OR take the easy route and HATE you---all their problems are your fault. In her mind you are an evil witch who won't let go---in her mind she wants you to disapear. She wants her life to be void of his ever having a family and honestly that can not ever happen. It is her inability to see reality. Her anger at you is a manifestation of deeper wounds that came in her life long before she met Ron or you. Her pain is a choice she cannot even see. This woman would not be happy even if you did disapear because she is incapable of loving herself or others. They both share a common bond of self destruction. Yes logically you would THINK she'd be happy to just have him and that's why it escapes your thinking because there is no being happy for her and she is not spiritualy evolved enough to know why--either is Ron--they both run from THEMSELVES. When Ron would run from you it was because you represented the truth and put him in a position to get real. You represented a sense of responsability and love---intimacy. She is a runaway as well and it is why she will not remain committed to Ron---she will have another man to run to. What I'm saying is do not try to figure it out--the why--just know your feelings are true. She is sending hateful energy--they are fighting bitterly and Ron hides and she fumes and directs it to you. Belive in your own protection--it is REAL as well and it works! Honor your gift of sensitivity by protecting it. Saint Michael watches over those with big sensitive hearts. He has the biggest heart AND the biggest shield. Your journey these last few years have been all about inner power. You have risen above them. You are emowered with an awareness she can not even fathom. Her hatefull poisen arrows have no power over you once you fight back. Also, it may have cleared up by now but spirit showed me a breathing issue with you--stuffy nose? You are not breathing through your nose deeply at night and it is raising adrenaline. Keep a check on that. Use your shield---send all poisen arrows back! Feel your power--you earned it! BLESINGS!
PS---we went back tonight and the free meal was perfect! Food was extra good--the vibe was happy! Such is life.
Wow alot to think about, I know she hates me and blames me for everything, well guess what it will get worse for her soon.
Yesterday at the meeting with my lawyer he introduced me to his new lawyer that will handle the discoverery and dealing with Ron and the courts until the trial.
She is the bull dog you wanted me to get.
From the second I met her I felt sorry for Ron.
She is going to stasrt with a court order of discovery of all his finances from the last 10 years. Credit cards stocks, salary bonuses everything.
She says if he doesn't respond he gets one more chance and then a couple of days in jail.
She says the stocks were half mine and he had no right to cssh them, they were not used to support me and the kids and he will find a way to replace that money.
She says the house is mine and he will pay enought to make sure I am fine for life.
She said a judge will see that I am working full time and maxed out on my ability to earn and he is not, he can make more if he wanted to tnd the courts don't like that especially since it looks like he did it all just as the boys were over 18 and as he was getting ready to leave us.
I was going to offer him a large check from my mom to quick deed me the house and be done with all this with an amount that is okay, not great, and she and John both said no way is he getting any money at all.
Sghe also told me the court would cost well over $20000 and sice John is free Ron will be apying more than that to someone to try and fight for him while I will only have to come up with the cost of the court itself, maybe $1000.
You were right this is going to get done, I am not sure how soon since she is intent on burring Ron.
She said John gave him 3 years to be a man and get this done and he just played us, now he will pay the price.
I told her I thought maybe Ron didn't want the divorce because he doesn't want to marry her and since she has already been married a few times she want that, so she asked if I would consider staying married for extra money each month and I said no not worth it.
YES YES YES!!! SHE is exactly the energy I invisioned for you! Thank you Angels and all spirits for this blessing! You worked very hard Nancy to rise up to a level of being open to RECEIVE". You know her last question to you was a smart thing on her part--she was testing you--to see how done you really were and making sure he would not sabotage her buldog fight by getting your sympathy. Lawyers get that a lot. A female comes in all angry--wanting revenge--blood-- but in the end just wants him back and the lawyer regrets her time. You passed! I'm seeing that number 3 again--not sure why but it must mean something. Considered it may mark the three years you have been waiting but sense it means something more. BLESSINGS!
You are so gifted it scares me. I have been having trouble with a stuffy nose now for about a month. I think maybe for the first time in my life I have allergies.
I wake wp and go to sleep very stuffy, but during the day just a little.
I have been taking a yoga class with my friend Sandy from work, she wanted a bunch of us to go and no one esle wanted to so I agreed because I thought maybe it might help no only to get me out of the house , but also to find some peace and maybe center myself a bit. Learn how to focu and breath.
I love the class although it makes me very sore, but mostly it makes me feel peaceful and strong.
Last night at the end of the class we did our last move which is to lie on our back, pressing ourself into the mat, releasing everything, all stress, pain, clearing our minds and letting go.
With the in breath you say to your self let, and with the out brest you say go.
I felt so good, so strong and at peace and then there he was, a clear picture of the love we used to hsve, I saw us on the boat with the boys, on the beach laying the sand, in our hot tub kissing, I barely made it out of the class without breaking down, and for the first time in a long time I cried like a baby.
Oh Nancy--I'm so happy for you! You are healing and have made it to the otherside and you are right on track with timing. Good for you. The stuffy nose---do fix that. I have a Honeywell air purifyer for my own room--it has the washable filters and I use a nose spray before bed or like you I will wake up either with chest aching or anxiety from not breathing. Also, as much as I loved going to Jazzercise it made my alergies go bonkers. Some public places do not change their filters and with so many people on the floor and touching everything the dustmite level is higher. I take clartin. Right now alergies are at their worst. I have never done yoga but do stretches and deep breathing. I have to just to shake off the sensory overload! BLESSINGS1
Well thats funny, I felt like seeing him in my mind was stepping backwards into the pain, and you feelit is that I have healed.
I don't really understand that, but I hope you are right and I am wrong.
If they are so misserable together and fight so much, why are they still together, why keep trying if they bith know it won't work.
They both have to know by now that he will end up paying me and he won't get half the house, why pretend?
I am totally blown away by his continued lack of caring for our son's and his totall mean treatment of me, thats not him, how is it she can change him and he doesn't see it?
Okay can you tell me where or when I might meet someone for me?
I have met a few men at work, but nothing that will go anywhere as they are all involved and a bit too young.
I really pray I don'[t end up alone, but I have such high standards, and fear I will be.
I am loney Blmoon please help me.
Their attraction to each other defys logic because it's all compulsion. Put it in the realm of addiction. Why do people light up another ciggerett knowing it is bad for them? SELFDESTRUCTIVE. They are very selfdestructive. You are trying to figure out motivations according to your own common sense when really you can not fathom the lack of awareness they live with. People who stay miserable and continue to hurt and fight are still stuck in their pain or old wounds of childhood. I feel they are both mentaly ill. Not batty in your face crazy but still mentaly ill. They both need meds and counseling but are not open to that at all right now. Nancy stop stop stop trying to make sense of him--it only connects you to him and slows you down--he is back there--behind you--look forward and stay in the moment--enjoy the good he gave you--your sons AND altho the hard way he taught you to find your inner power and throughthis dark time you grew some light and you heal more and more everyday. Because family and nutrturing are your priority that is your world and never try to understand those that do not step foot in your world. RON is shut down--always has been. His moments of intimacy were controlled and always for the moment and you learned to use those true moments to excuse all the moments that were not. You tell yourself--it was real then but what happened? Stop trying to figure it out--that IS the sign of mental illness--it makes no sense. The lonely thing? Nancy, even in a good loving relationship we ALL get loney. Sometimes it is grif--being tired or just in a lull between the past and what's next. Feeling lonely is universal and not a bad thing. I feel lonely myself today. Usually, it's after stress or a big change. As for the divorce details---again--no, they did not expect the reality--in fact oh how YOU surprised Ron! Honestly, he felt you would never fight back---he has ALWAYS felt in control over you Nancy, always---up until you sent him packing. Didn't he he run the marriage? He knows your weak spot was your emotions--they crumble you. He never saw you as a fighter. He knows how to say just the thing to curl you into a ball of hurt. Seeing him in your mind makes perfect sense--you are right now hashing out a divorce. Of course now he's in your radar but Nancy you got a strong head on your shoulders and can CHOOSE to not dwell on him. This whole journey is about that--you keeping your power. As for your sons--stop feeling their pain--truth is we all come into this world to face our journey--we all have parent issues to make or break us---your sons are stronger than you know--if they see you not cave into rejection they will get it. Set the example. There was nothing wrong with you or your sons--it is Ron's problem. Love is complicated--your son's will learn early--and there can be a good side as it will make them wiser and more discerning about marriage partners if they can get past their hurt and anger. That's YOUR gift to them Nancy--get past YOUR hurt and anger and show them some class and strength! BLESSINGS!
Okay I got one for you, I have been trying to be the goddessd you think I am, I have been strong and happy as I can be, never let them see you sweat right.
I am nice and happy even playful at work and convinced myself I am finally getting over him, life is getting bettetr, I am ready to meet someone new.
My yoga class gives me an outlet and gets me out into the world a bit and makes me feel strong.
I think someone or something is trying to send me a message, or just messing me I am not sure what to think.
Yesterday I was outside on my break sitting in the sunshine, feeling good, when a truck exactly like Rons pulls into the parking spot directly in front of me.
On the way home from work yesterday our song came on the radio, I turned the channel a bit annoyed and today on my lunch I went out to my car to read, turned the key to roll down my windows and there it was again.
It is an old song, I rarely ever hear it and 2 days in a row.
It bothered me, made me sad and when I got back to work the last half of my shift 3 people I ided had his birthday.
In all my years no one has had his exact birthday that I have carded.
Any idea what is going on?
YES I DO!
My life has the same kind of crazy at times. I call it the trickster---because I identify with that coyote metaphor (native american). And I'm receptive to dark humor. But that is me. I also have an inside joke for those moments--tied to affairs of the heart---I share with a poet friend--we call them "Dorothy Parker" visits. She was brilliant and extremely witty but had a doomed attraction to the wrong men. She was very poingant and a true smart a ss. The point is whatever one calls it the universal FEELING is always the same--"is someone messing with me?" Or you get the feeling you are on that old candid camera show and you are being filmed for the entertainment of others. Two things are going on---first, the supermoon was a big one and in the sign of Scorpio---You and Ron most likely have a connection in your charts that amplified the airways. Ron is very very very intently trying to talk to you--his old Nancy--(he says) -come on Nancy---just bend Nancy---I know my Nancy---just do this Nancy---you do not want to fight--Nancy Nancy Nancy you do not want to hurt me---you are being vindictive--I said I would always take care of you and you are doing fine--just let this court thing go--I'm in a tough spot but I swear if you let this go when things get better you won't be sorry. Come on --I know this is not what your heart says--I know you do not want a fight. etc etc etc!!! Ron is still talking to the old you--and it has manifested!! The energy swirls around you--it can be both tempting--intoxicating or a big joke. Spirit opens the door wide and says ok now see yourself--coming and going. The new Nancy makes a choice--is life taunting you or are you in a position to flex your new muscle--to feel the power of your SELF over his control of your emotions? Are you ready? Because he will go straight to your heart over this turn of events---the Nancy with a bulldog beside her is not in his plan. He has not watched you grow the last three years. He has not changed but you have. Resist his presence in your heart. Be tough. Stay in your head--that is what all these reminders are poking you to do---because it is your heart that he takes advantage of and right now and for awhile he will really push because he IS the kind of man who gets his way. Do not fear these reminders of the past--honor your past---no regrets. Be able to let them pass through you---have a tear or two or three and say oh how lovely then but--snap out of it and acknowledge that the future is uncertein but that's where you are going--forward and there will be "meaning". You were not put on earth just to be Ron's wife and nothing else. The birthdate coming up again and again---see it as a very naughty child who has been grounded for stealing (twice!) and although he was very bad he is still a sweet child when he wants to be and tonight he wants to go out--it's a big school dance and he is following you around the house--but please but please--I swear I'll be good--please just once. Are you going to let him go? Are you going to be afraid he'll hate you? Or are you going to be firm and say--YOU ARE GROUNDED--and if you keep annoying me I'll add another week. Then you go to yoga and forget about his childish behaviour. So, spirit is telling me to use this latest tug at the heart to reafirm your power---not a mean power but a JUST power. And see it as a positive thing---that how far you have come---early on these things would have left you a total mess. Notice they pass quiker? Emotions have always been your nemesis. Me too! These last tugs at your past are showing you how far you have come and not to be afraid--that you are still here Nancy--you did not curl up and die. And no matter how much the past revisits YOU are in control. Tonight you can try speaking to Ron--see the cord from your head to his head. Never see the cord from your heart. Tell him firmly--I know what you are doing and forget it Mr. Man--Nancy don't play that no more. YOU made your choices now you will live with them. I loved you the best I could but forgot to love myself. I wish you no harm but you have proven that if I am not guarded you can hurt me. I will no longer allow you to hurt me. I refuse to feel sorry for you. Your intrusion keeps me from my sons and they need me more than ever. If you can't be a father to them then please leave us alone so we may heal and move on towards new love for all of us.
Do this without emotions--only do it when you are in control---if the past gets in your face again--birthdate comes up too frequently, laugh and say--YOU WISH! No--the past does not own me anymore! BLESSINGS!