Hanswolfgang can you orient me on this

  • Hi Hans,

    I also been looking for a job for quite a while. I said to myself to be appreciated for the time I am spending with my kid and my family that I know will be difficult to have once I find a job. However, sometimes I also feel like time is passing so fast and I am missing so much from the working life like money, economic stability and planning a life with money. I also have to confess sometimes I feel jealous inside of people who seem are having a wonderful life without economic difficulties. Like my parents said to me since I was a little girl if you study hard you will get a wonderful career in life. And now I know there is more in life and we need to teach our kids how to accomplish things but also how to overcome “failures” or how to overcome what you planned your life would be like.

  • nelu,

    you cannot always be the one doing the laundry or cooking the dinner. Sometimes you need to step back and let others take on the load.

    Now you know about how you have destroyed your senses, and you know also how to revive them. Do something. Throw the gun completely, the repressive mind completely. Unblock yourself. Start flowing again, start connecting again with your being, start connecting with your senses again. You are like a disconnected telephone-line. Everything looks perfectly okay, the telephone is there but the line is disconnected. Your eyes are there, your hands are there, your ears are there, but the line is disconnected. Reconnect it. If it can be disconnected, it can be reconnected. Others have disconnected it because they were also taught in the same way, but you can reconnect it.

  • Thanks for the advice I will reconnect with myself. How I don't know but I will find the way. I do feel disconnected with everything sometimes the negative thinking comes in my mind but I try hard to forget and be positive. My close friends and my hubby had realize this negative thinking as well. I need to find myself again. I need me a lot.

    With this disconnection I also have problems with my family, thinking of a separation of my partner but I also feel he does not loves me as he used to. He never said I love you or anything that make me feel love. Its so hard and I feel Its not the person I meet when we were dating. Please tell me how should I handle this, I love him so much but it hurts that he does not express any love …...and I sometimes blame myself, its probably the disconnection I have with my being?

  • nelu,

    Please tell me how should I handle this: by not allowing yourself to be bound by fear of the future, you are at risk of eventually creating a negative reality for yourself by virtue of your expectations. Your nightmare becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy, which is clearly not a desirable outcome.

    I sometimes blame myself, its probably the disconnection I have with my being? Yes.

    Unless you become yourself in the presence of the beloved, it is not love. Unless mind completely ceases to function in the presence of the lover or the beloved, it is not love.

    Sometimes it happens that mind ceases and for a moment there is no desire. Love is desireless. Try to understand this: you may desire love, but love is desireless. When love happens there is no desire; mind is quiet, calm, relaxed. No more becoming, nowhere to go.

    But this happens only for a few moments, if it happens at all. If you have really loved someone, then it will happen for a few moments. It is a shock. The mind cannot work because its whole function has become useless, absurd. The one for whom you were longing is there, and the mind cannot think what to do now.

  • So true I need to love myself and to not be afraid of the future.. I always live expecting things to be the way I want , the way my mind create a future fake reality. I need to work on this so hard. Can you please let me know how to start or any tips to keep positive thinking and negatives thoughts away 😃

    Thanks again.

  • Can you please let me know how to start: no

    or any tips to keep positive thinking and negatives thoughts away: yes, certainly: Body and mind function together. Mind is the inner aspect of the body; it is a material phenomenon. It has nothing to do with your being. It is as much matter as your body, so if you do something with the body that automatically happens to the mind. Hence down the ages people have been cultivating postures -- sit in a lotus posture, force your body to be like a statue, a marble statue. If your body is REALLY still, forced, you will see your mind falls into a kind of silence, which is false, which is not true. He has just been forced to be silent by the body posture. You try it: just make the posture of anger with your fists, your face, your teeth; just go into the posture of anger and you will be surprised, you start feeling angry. That's what the actress does: she moves the body into the posture, and following it, mind comes in.

    Two great psychologists, James and Lange, discovered a very strange theory at the beginning of this century. It is known as the James-Lange theory. They said something very uncommon which goes against the old commonsense of the ages. Ordinarily we think that when a woman is afraid she runs away; in fear, she starts running. James and Lange said it is not true -- because she runs, that's why she feels fear.

    It looks absurd, but it has some truth in it -- half. The commonsense truth was half; this too is another half of the same whole. If you start laughing, you will find yourself feeling a little less sad than you were before. You just go and sit with a few friends who are laughing and telling jokes, and you forget your sadness, your misery. You start laughing, and once you start laughing you are feeling good. You start with the body.

    Try it! If you are feeling sad, start running, go running around the block seven times, breathing deep breaths, in the sun, in the wind; and after seven rounds, stand and see whether your mind is the same. No, it can't be the same. The bodily change has changed the mind. The body chemistry changes the mind. Hence the yoga postures. They are all postures to force the mind into a certain pattern. That is not real silence.

    The real silence has to be a silence that comes on its own. My suggestion is: don't force your body. Rather, dance, sing, move, run, jog, swim. Let the body have all kinds of movements so your mind also has all kinds of movements, and through all those kinds of inner movements, the mind starts catharting, releasing its poisons.

    Shout, be angry, beat a pillow and you will be surprised -- after beating a pillow you feel very good. Something in the mind has been released. It does not matter whether you were beating your husband, or the pillow. The pillow will do perfectly as well as beating the husband, because the body does not know whom you are beating. Just the very posture of beating and the mind starts releasing its anger. Mind and body collaborate.

    Start with catharsis, so that you become empty of all the rubbish that has been accumulating in you from your very childhood. You were angry but you could not be angry because the mother becomes mad if you become angry -- so you repressed it. You were angry, you wanted to shout, but you could not shout; rather, on the contrary, you smiled. ALL that is accumulated in you -- it has to be thrown out. And then wait... and a silence starts descending in you. That silence has a beauty of its own. It is totally different; its quality is different, its depth is different.

    "When the silence comes, not a single thought arises"not that you force your thinking not to arise, not that you keep watch, not that you become very tight and you won't allow a single thought to pass. You are not struggling, you are in a let-go, but nothing arises. That is beautiful -- when no thought arises, when thoughts disappear of their own accord. Then you are utterly silent, and this silence is positive. The forced silence is negative.

  • Certainly so true. When I am around nice people who laugh I feel happy as well and happiness can be transmitted to other people , I found this so beautiful. I never though of this mind-body link it's amazing how we can get our mind positively active. I will do body exercises to get my mind active and let go all the anger and frustrations I have. Thanks.

    BTW, I am looking for a job I been unemployed for quite a while and I am waiting a response for a job position from a company I just to worked in. I am trying to be patience and look for a position I feel passionate about and a company I feel connected with. Thanks again 😃

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