Oh help me somebody! (?)



  • Me Nov. 4 1966, Him May 18 1965...I just dont know how to be ! We are on again after he says lets take it slow...but I just doint know what that means anymore! I feel like he wants me to audition outside of the bedroom or something ..cause we cant keep our hand off each other in privater but he is way....slow....to move forward emotionally and in public. I feel we would be great full time lovers...but I am hesitant to go all in because he likes to keep me on the edge of not knowing. Can anyone help me figure out what he wants from me and or with me???

    bless the full moon

    Penancing



  • Obviously he wants you to do what HE wants and is not interested in what YOU want. He is getting from you exactly what he wants - sex without any commitment. His actions tell the real story.



  • Well Captain...you certainly hit the nail on the head! After feeling hurt and confused I pressed him, and he tells me he cant commit to anything. It makes him feel sad that he makes me sad...but thats where he is. I feel incredibly foolish that I allowed myself to become involved with him at all and that I was such easy pickings~ even more easily cast aside. I am trying not to be so hard on myself, and remember why I responded to his aggressive pursuit in the beginning was because I thought I had become the kind of person that when opportunity knocks they complain about the noise. BUT now I cant stop thinking about him and wondering why why why???? Goodness this is tiresome.

    What has been awoken in me through this interaction was a well repressed desire for a partner with whom to share life in a lusty-trusty fashion! I feel like I am starving. I think I need psychic surgury to remove this want of love....for I am not able to dust myself off anymore after what now seems like a lifetime or repeated rejection. UUUUGHHH!

    thanks kindly for listening!

    ~Penancing



  • He still loves you so need to feel foolish no! He wants to commit and wants to now, are you ready for him?



  • lol...Im soooo ready....but thats not what he told me directly just today!



  • Forget about what he told you directly, and listen to this that he is ready to commit to you now.



  • well....I will listen to it from you, but alas I dont expect to hear from him again after what he said to me today. Thank you if you are trying to make me feel better, but I wonder what make you think he wants me?



  • Yeh maybe your right sorry bout that.



  • I was just struck by the stupid startling realization that my mother who died a year and a half ago was a taurus and I wonder if that is coming into play here why I feel such a need for this man...Anyone have any thoughts on that? oh, and my father was a scorpio like myself...hmmmm parts of me would like to put this off to me trying to recreate my parents relationship (when I think about it, I would love that....) but I am certain that my feelings are real however dashed they have become



  • We all recreate the first relationship we ever knew about - our parents' relationship, good or bad - and subconsciously look for similar partners. It becomes our templates for all our future matchups unless we become consciously aware of it. The reason you have been rejected in your life is because you have not been picking people who are compatible with you, but who are like your parents in some way. Subconsciously you are repeating what you saw as a child. Now once you realize that, you can break the old pattern of conditioning and find someone who is actually right for you.



  • Well today is his birthday and I cannot stop thinking and wishing about him! I feel crazy or something, that I can feel so much about him and he tells me one thing then does another all together...I am mystified. Also very sad. How does one release a burning need that has never been met? I am willing to be the fool, but cannot accept being made a fool, if that makes sense. Oh I am hurting.



  • Get busy and forget about him. If you have time to think of him, you have too much time on your hands.



  • oh Captain...Im so afraid of never feeling the way he made me feel again...and I dont understand how it could just stop for him. I know Im holding on to nothing but hurt now and it is self depreciating to still harbor hope he will return but that is with my head. My body still qucikens and I am breathless when I think of him.

    There really are so many things I should be doing but he continues to invade my thoughts



  • You are only holding onto a fantasy. If you think back honestly, this guy was not as good in reality as the dreams you had about him. You projected your desires onto him which is why it's hard to let go - not of him, but of your dreams of a happy life together.



  • I think you were more in lust than in love with this guy who was your complete opposite - that can be exciting but also often makes for incompatibility in the long term.



  • YES! thank you for slogging this out with me. That is exactly what I am doing...It was a lust filled fantasy in the flesh, and I thought we could take that higher....Because that is what I want a fantasy lover and then the real man in my life as well. He wanted to back off the real life part and hold the door open for the fantasy part. And you are right this is why it has been so hard to let go of because it is really my hope that I can have both with a man (and was wanting it to be him, to at least give it a chance) This I hope makes it easier to purge him than rather the whole idea of being able to one day have that with someone. thank you so much...


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