After reading all these CANCER posts....should STEER CLEAR from THEM??
hi..had a horrible experience with a cancer guy..will they be in a relationship with someone and still call you &tell you that they love you...care for you..miss you!!&when I do the disappearing act then he would always come searching...shouldnt he let go if he was in a relationship..btw my cancer bf is with the girl he cheated on me with.....
So I finally realised that my ex did love me, it was his stupid issues that got in the way. What did he do to show his 'love' for me? He tested me back and forth, to which I passed with flying colours, in his words. I stood by him, showed him love and care, trusted him, always put him first, was accomodating and understanding, compromised, made soo much effort, forgave him for the manipulation and abuse... what did I get in return? Abuse, lies, cheating and a whole myriad of things. Lovely huh?
Why I always semi believed he cared for me despite his actions? I saw it in his eyes. That and the fact he told me some things nobody else knows. I'm not gonna mention what he would say cos you know... venus in gemini types aren't exactly the most reliable ppl. But since he told me like really really private things, I do believe that there was alot of love and trust there... Bc scorpio moons are private aren't they?
p.s-he told me that with me it was different &with her its different..we hav been in a long distant relationship for 1 and half years,didnt speak for 1yr,he got in touch,always initiated contact,remembered my birthday...remembered every detail of our dates..when he came to visit me 2yrs ago..tld me that he loved me..&sometimes I could just understand that he was near to tears on 2 occasions he talked to me...........I love him,he knows that....I feel a strong connection here.....but have been hurt by him..I wish he spoke his mind or is it me!!!Am I reading it all wrong!!!help me out barbara 2107...
Mabe they can love more then one person simotanously or something like that, the cancer men seem different then the women. I almost have to agree with whoever said they were cancer female, but didn't date cancer males. Although I get along fine with other cancer women, I never attract cancer males, its as if theres this unspoken knowingness that we just don't balance out somehow together. I've dated a few in the past, they seem almost innocent like, but then not so much. Its said scorpios men are the ones obessed with sex, but it seems like some cancer males are that way too.
Reading all these posts has been an eye opener. Thanks to all. Does anyone know a Cancer man that you have a purely platonic relationship with? Someone who would be willing to read through these and give a reaction, some advice, etc.? I was reading a different thread where Scorpio men were getting bashed, but it sounded like for good reasons, and we women and men are intrinsically different. It would be so interesting to hear what he might have to say!
I was in a relationship with a pisces man, gemini moon, cancer ascending .. Yes, a lot to handle! but, I thought I was up for it. I've known and had/have tons of pisces friends (and more) and they can be such frosted flakes - no offense meant there. But, I hadn't thought of cancers being this way .. until now. I will, in a very loving, laughing With you way, say, It's always a full moon with the cancer people. I have, well had, a really good cancer girlfriend. She has a really good heart, but she is super flaky. I just hadn't "put that" on cancer people in a generalised sense. I've finally had it with her though. If she needs me I am totally expected to be right there, that minute. When I need her however, good luck. Her last houdini was the last straw. Tiny tidbit : I was in ICU for four days and she still couldn't bother to be there for me in any way .. then later she explains to me that her purse was stolen and she didn't have her cell phone. And the day she got it back she called me. Are you kidding me? She lives within two miles of me and as we all know, you can use a different phone. What a lame excuse. Anyway!
I'm reading here how a cancer needs to test you, you have to be worth it, you need to have undying patience, etc. You need to be understanding, flexible, etc. What is it exactly that you get back for all this? Any relationship should be a two way street, y'know? This relationship that ended not long ago at all, the romantic one with the guy I described above was so similar to all these other stories. Almost spooky!
I was the one trying to slow things down, he was the go, go, go person. He swept me off my feet, told me I was "the one" soulmates, I am really so perfect .. He assured me that he was "no bullshit, for real." He romanced the hec out of me and yes, it was absolutely delightful. I put my trust in him, I gave him my trust. I'm a scorpio (obviously, from my avatar, it's double scorp because my Venus is in scorpio as well = yowsa!). Trust does not come easily for me. And yes, as someone asked, scorpios are private people. I am a very good listener and people often confide in me. It often takes me a little longer to open up and I'm thinking that's what a cancer here was saying of themselves in terms of needing to know that you are worth it. Trust does not come easily to me, though I think that has a lot to do with my life experience, we are all individuals as well as our signs, yes?
So, with this man, I did open up, I did trust him. I went to him. The night we came to know each other in the biblical sense (lol) was "heaven" as he described it. I was heaven, everything was "better" with me in his life. The last thing he said to me, as I was falling asleep, and he was looking deep into my eyes, was, "Thank you for trusting me." The next morning however, everything, and I mean everything, changed. 180 degrees.He suddenly got scared, with reality in his face perhaps? I wouldn't know. He asked me to leave, which I did. He told me "it's not you, it's me .. I thought I was ready for this, I'm not." And then, houdini!! I can not tell you all how humiliated I felt, and still feel. It's over, I'm moving on and dedicating a year to myself, to work on me, no romance. Because like I said, all relationships are a two way street, you can't tango alone. I am looking back and trying to identify what could have been red flags, warning signs, etc.
And even after this treatment, I was still there for him. That day when it all changed, he took me out to lunch and proceeded to tell me about the last four women in his life and how each of them hurt him. And a variety of other horrors. He told me things he hasn't told anyone besides his best friend. I thought the choice of venue was inappropriate, but I didn't judge him for it. I was very, very understanding. Initially I thought, hey, he panicked, happens to all of us. Just give him some space and he will come around. After all, he confided in me and before I left that day I saw tears in his eyes. So, I was emapthetic, patient, and still very much there for him. I would have even been willing, with his help, to have a platonic relationship with him because he is wicked smart, and I love people around me who can challenge me, people I can learn from. Also, I thought, if he indeed had not been full of sh!te, he would work through his reaction and then we could continue the lovely thing we had going. We have a lot in common.
But, no. Apparently the decision he came to that morning is the one that remains. We had exactly one conversation after that. He did not want to hear about my feelings, even though he poured his out to me. I am not welcome in his life. He has no plans, according to him, to ever see me, speak to me, etc. again. And even though I've read a lot of situations here with back and forth, I would be shocked if he ever got in touch with me.
How can anyone treat someone this way and be able to sleep at night? How can anyone want to go, go, go and then completely turn their back on you. With both these people there is zero sense of responsibility for their actions. Neither of them would "give you the shirt of their back" or be there for you when you really need them. That is not reality. And so, yeah, even though he is not born under cancer, he really behaves like one. When you break it down, he can not stand for his own self image to be altered. He wants to think of himself as being a compassionate, loving, caring man. I find him to be a very selfish person. I feel sorry for the next guy who tries to win my trust, I don't know him but already I feel compassion for him.
Well, whew, I'm out of steam. This has been cathartic, so thanks!! Good luck to you all and never, ever allow anyone to treat you like a piece of furniture. Like something ordered from Ikea that you thought would fit but, when it's not perfect you ship it back. Know what I mean? Hope so. Whatever sign they are, ladies, don't let yourself be jerked around by anyone. Patience and understanding are one thing, being used with no sense of responsibility is quite another. And I know how much harder it is when you have invested so much time in someone, believed in that person. But, in these cases, give them that space, give them a stratosphere of it!
I know I'm worth it and so are you!! Bises, S
I have gone through the same thing, so heart breaking. He was a scorpio with cancer rising, virgo moon. What a combo! I thought I knew him well enough. I was very reserved and cautious with my scorpio rising sign but he was so charming and friendly.The closer we got the more stranger he became (distant) to say the least!. He wanted me devoted to him on his terms but his ultimate devotion was to himself. The biggest problem was that I was sacrificing my happiness for his wishes. It is a 2 way street, not "HIS WAY Or THE HIGHWAY". I learned alot from this man and about myself. The issues they have are way too much for me.
double scorpio, I really feel for you reading your story. one thing you never mentioned? how long were you with this pisces guy? such a heart felt story, too bad it did not work out. sounds like this pisces man is a frosted flake to turn so cold on you...
and I do agree, p isces are flaky, whether female or male. unreliable!
Hi songofsharon and MsSunny,
Thank you both for your replies! It really helps me to get some 'outside' perspective. To songofsharon, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, learn from the experience. It's so funny that you said his way or the highway - I've thought of that term myself. As I look back, even with all the romance and wooing, it seems that I as an individual was never really part of this .. it was more like an idea of me. And yowsa, that is quite a combo! Excellent for you that you used this experience to learn more about you. A lot of people never get past the 'burned' feeling, and if we don't take that opportunity, how can we do better for ourselves in both future relationships and our own lives? "His ultimate devotion was to himself." This guy too, very, very wrapped up in the way he wants to view himself. To his credit, in that last conversation he did admit that he had wanted for us to immediately live together or nothing. Wow! He wanted me to put most of my stuff in storage and move right in? If he had only said so, it would have saved us both some time, etc.
To Ms.Sunny, first off, love your icon! The entire thing was started, over and done with in a little less than three months. I'm grateful though, as hard as it has been. The more time you invest in someone, the harder it is, for some of us anyway, to let go. I'm definitely freezer burnt, but, definitely letting go too. As a scorpio and just me, I do not have trouble making decisions. Once I do, I stick to them. It's a very abstract idea for me to try and imagine how any person can be so sure of whatever it is they are saying/doing and then, "Pow!" off in the opposite direction. I can't get my mind around it. That is where most of my anger come from .. "I'm absolute, I'm so sure you wouldn't believe it .. sound of brakes squealing .. Oh wait, I don't know what I was talking about." What?? Huh?? How does that work?? I certainly don't get it and I'd love love love for someone to explain it to me. But, I guess that's like trying to explain to a visual thinker how an audio thinker works; pretty difficult.
Thanks so much to you both! Best wishes and bises (those are kisses) Sian
"You've got a frosted flake face, a raisin bran brain, you're trying to tell me that I'm insane." (Red Kross - from Neurotica")
Wow, a lot of stuff going on here. Ok. I am a Cancerian male, to the fullest. I agree with all that is said. Yes, we are nutjobs. We are a pain in the neck at times. We get enveloped and consumed by any moment that has a magical feeling to it. It is all very hard to explain, but I will tell you its not fun for me either. In one sense I have so much pride in my passion and my ability to make any little moment an amazing experience, but just as I can make something nice be amazing, I can make something unfriendly into a large ordeal. This drives the other signs crazy and in one sense I get down on myself for being the way I am, but I also get mad at others for making me feel weird about it.
I will say to the ladies strugglig with a Cancer male. Be blunt and rough with him. We have hard outer shells and light blows dont hurt us, but if you get to the inside, we are wusses. You will know if your Cancer man truly loves you if you can put him in his place, make him realize his errors, and he doesnt lash back. If he lashes back, he doesnt respect you. If he gets quiet and somber and disappears for a little....he will come back with even more loveand respect than he had before.
I never know when Im playing mind games. I dont think a lot of people do. I dated an Aquarius woman for two years and let me tell you, it was test of everything I had not to be confused all the time. We all have our things, but dont give up on us Cancers. As weird as we are, we know it, and sometimes need you to point it out, and if you can handle us firmly, we will give you everything we have.....
lol, I think all men are nutjobs, whether you are cancer or a u-turn sign. oh please, give me a break!
to scorpgirl, I think I know what went wrong, you want to figure it out quickly, or go through another one of these painful break-ups?
first off, it's what men do.... you must have gave away an emotional weakness or a sign, that said to him you belonged to him, and you were quite content and then fell asleep. when he woke up, he freaked out because you were in his bed, and after his moments of weakness, he makes 180 degree turn. what a big jerk off!
you were becoming too comfortable. and does not matter what you said, it's all in your energy, and men can read a woman like a book.
skip all the readings you get here, because most of them do not know what they are talking about. lol either they will tell you he will be back, or give you a story on why he got scared, and to give him space, blah, blah, blah. it's all the same.
the books below will definitely be an eye opener. I read both books, as well as many other relationship books, counseled many couples, women, and single men. after 16 years of counseling other women, I totally get it, after all of these years. lol you are NOT alone dear lady, you and I have been through the same thing.
but you want to stop it, right? figure out the Male Code their Secrets, and you will never be dumped again.
"why men love B i t c h e s"
"why men marry B i t c h e s"
by Sherry Argov
I really don't understand why Cancers (particularly men) take such a beating on these posts. Granted I'm a Pisces so flakiness does not phase me one bit but I have known Cancers all of my life and I find them to be some of the most wonderful people. Yes they retreat but so do I. Yes they do not put all of their cards on the table like a Sag or Leo but neither do I. I absolutley adore the mystery behind these folks and the benefits of giving patience and space are truly amazing!
My guy is a Cancer and at times plays the typical games. When he does I ignore it and we just seem to move on. We have been there for each other through terrible times and our love and friendship have continued to deepen. His heart is huge and he is one of the best father's (next to my own of course!) that I have seen. He tells me his secrets, confronts me when he's upset, and is affectionate and loving. I wouldn't trade this man for anything!
I did date a Cancer in college and he was a dirtbag. He was a dirtbag because he's a dirtbag. Not because he's a Cancer. Sometimes people are just selfish and disloyal. It's more to do with the way they were raised than their actual sun sign. Also sometimes we simply end up dating people and the relationship lacks compatibility. That's not a reason to bash a particular sign.
Many family members and friends in my life are Cancers and I absolutely enjoy and love who they are. Cancers, in my experience, are good people!
I've only dated one Cancer. When I met him hat struck me was his gentle and sweet nature. But it was all a facade and it didn't last long at all because I broke it off when I realized he was only after one thing when he started getting frustrated with me for taking my sweet time. When I broke it off with him he said he was dating this other girl, she was still in High school... I bet he picked her because she was young and naive,, I was older and so was he,,, what a douche bag huh!
If the revelation of him having another girl was suppose to hurt me it didn't, it made me glad to hear it because it justified my doubts about him and what made me even happier is that he didn't get ANYTHING from me. I told him this to his face that night and he was in shock to see my cool reaction.
Moral of the story? Take it very slow ladies.. if he is worth it he will wait. Whatever star sign he is.. no matter and if he is not prepared to wait then he is not worth your time. Less heartbreak this time.
passionate cancer man,
how do you handle a cancer man firmly? kindly give examples.
because I was sweet and gentle and then I got aggressive when he pushed me away.
double scorpio...if u really mean patience then u must go through my post on 'wats in my cancers mind'..my cancer has been goin back & forth with his decisions...for the last 3 yrs....u should move on...for cancers the conquest is all they love the chase....i do feel sorry the next guy who comes along in my life.....he has to work really hard to win my heart!!!
ALL MEN love the chase. I repeat... ALL MEN LOVE THE CHASE..
not just cancer guys..
the harder the man has to work to win you, the longer he will stick around. sounds like
a man's world huh? well, for the most part it is what it is.