Losing faith



  • I had a dream of becoming a hypnotherapist to help others achieve peace and find joy. However, my finances are in a downward spiral and I can't seem to find the right path to move forward. I am beginning to seriously doubt my "calling" and am losing the battle to remain positive. I spent 6 months caring for my father as he chose to die with dignity after a cancer diagnosis. And then while I struggled with grief and tried to handle his estate, in September 2011 my daughter gave birth to a baby boy who only lived ten days. During this time, my husband, who had been struck and injured by a student, had a complete breakdown and now seems unable to work. The small inheritance I wanted to use to go to school has gone to support us. I'm a Capricorn and as a "goat" I continue to struggle but I'm tired physically, emotionally and spiritually. I cannot connect with the Creator or my spirit guides and feel they have abandoned me. I feel led to post this so perhaps the Creator will communicate with me here. Blessings to all.



  • Chironlady2

    You certainly have earned blessings that will come to you in their allotted time, You have achieved part of your desire by helping your family . Your husband would be helped by a good Master reiki healer, that said you are going through a testing period now, like the dark side of night that will break open into sunlight and a clear path for you to take. There are grants available to help you achive your goal of becoming a hypnotherapist.

    There is a Sara that will be of help to you and the name of Joel comes in here also.

    I do see you having your own business and it looks like a small house or cottage type of setting, The sign will swing on the front lawn. Sometimes we have to go through very hard times to build strength to give to others when the time comes, in which you are doing now, you will know how people feel and have that compassion to give them in your healing sessions.

    You will be an excellent healer because of this inner strength you are building now.

    Look for these changes to come as soon as you take the bull by the horns and start a forward movement.

    God Bless and he Will

    Shuabby



  • welcome to this site Chironlady and you will find lots of support and encouragement

    I am sorry you are going thru this but there is lessons to be learned. I get the feeling you are not taking care of yourself. You put everyone else 1st so you need to start taking care of yourself

    make some time just for you so you can reconnect with your spirit guides & creator

    Your husband needs to find something to do to motivate him to get back in the world so to speak

    as for school is there a way to get a grant so you can start? don't give up on your dream

    There are many wise & wonderful people here and they have given lots of helpful advice and love and support



  • Blessings to you shuabby and shadowmist. It brought tears to my eyes to read your kind words. Shuabby, it is amazing that you mentioned a cottage, for I keep seeing one also in my mind. I just don't know where it is or how to find it. I have sought assistance from many unusual sources, including the Bill Gates foundation and even Ellen! A few times I have had the funds only to see them slip through my fingers for other purposes. I kept telling myself that it wasn't time yet but you see, I am already 59 and even though I know I would have years of healing still ahead, I cannot seem to find the path. I feel so much love for the Creator's children! And I feel their need in my heart so strongly at times that I hurt for them. I will try to find the way to take care of myself because I know that one must BE healed in order to heal others, and perhaps that is what I must overcome. Do you know that, in mythology, Chiron was a healer that could heal all but himself? "Chiron is a comet with a unique and erratic orbit. In the natal chart, Chiron is symbolized by the "wounded healer". It represents our deepest wound, and our efforts to heal the wound. Chiron was named after the centaur in Greek mythology who was a healer and teacher who, ironically, could not heal himself." And Chiron IS in my birth chart, which makes it NOT a coicidence that my parents named me karen.



  • Chironlady2

    How interesting that Chiron could not heal himself. As a healer you will on certain levels always receive some healing, if you do reiki shares, you will leave the room with a degree of healing received just from the healing energy surrounding you. You don't have to be perfect to give healing to others, as we all are really never perfect while here on the earthplane.

    Are you sure you want to be a healer? You will be a very good one but must remember to protect yourself from taking on others pain on emotional levels. The next time you receive the funds to have your dream come true , don't let them slip through your fingers , because the world needs you .

    SHuabby



  • Shuabby, I would like to believe the world needs you. Many years ago, Jeff Jawer (astrologer for this site) told me that I would have to choose between helping one or helping many. Unfortunately, I jumped into a marriage with a very needy individual for all the wrong reasons and now cannot see my way out of it, nor can I bear to continue with it because I am so unhappy. I have always put the happiness and needs of others ahead of my own. It's a tough habit to break.

    I am sometimes overwhelmed by the pain of others and have to take time to sort through and determine what is mine and what is not. I remind myself NOT to actively interfere in the karma or lifepath of others, no matter how much I love them. Flash of insight - wow, that may be what I have been doing with my husband? I have made him so much weaker, to the point that now I truly am not sure whether he can be alone?



  • Shuabby, my life has turned upside down. On June 12, I had a stroke and now need a cane to walk. i also cannot use my left hand or fingers, and I have always earned a living typing! I am 59 years old, a nonsmoker, have perfect cholesterol and triglycerides and my carotid arteries are clean. My diabetes was under control. However, I was holding in a lot of anger and had decided to divorce my spouse just days before the stroke. I am sure the Creator has a plan. Now I face months of rehab and may never regain my former typing speed.



  • I am so sorry to hear about your stroke chironlady - it is up to you on your rehab so please focus on yourself once you get healed then you can help others. and I wouldn't worry about speed of typing I dont type as fast as I used to & I am happy about that less mistakes 🙂



  • Thank you shadowmist. I know the stroke was a wake-up call to focus on ME. It is so hard to break old habits. blessings



  • OMG shuabby, one of the physical therapists who helped me recently was named Sarah! I am trying to be optimistic but whew..the stroke was such a shock.



  • If anything, my life is more topsy turvy than ever and I fear I am somehow bringing this negativity to me. If not for the kindness of my sister, my husband and I would be homeless. We are unemployed and struggling to have faith in the Creator's wisdom. We have endured more hardship than I could have imagined and our lives seem to be "stuck." I am so very tired.



  • Hi, I saw your post and wanted to say I'm sorry for all the confusion you've had to deal with and hope you find some strength and faith. It sounds awful, and I can see how you'd be so tired, but maybe time will help and you can overcome some of these challenges.

    Caretaking someone is such a huge job and then to have yourself fall ill too is just very overwhelming I'm sure. I"ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope you can post here and ask for some more help.

    Maybe on the dark energy removal thread? I hope you will continue to reach out for help....and maybe in real life, too there is some social programs that could help?

    Blessings, Chrionlady2.