Hi Captain, if you have a moment...



  • I know you receive a tidal wave of questions. I was hoping to add one more if you could help. I've been a total nomad for most of my young adult to adult life. Moving countries and states and cities. I think I have a number 5 life path. Go figure. Anyway, I'm tired of that and want to find a place that feels right. many of the places I lived felt right for a few years but then i found something new and different to move onto. Thus, I haven't really grown any roots anywhere.

    So, the last place I lived was totally different from anywhere i've ever been. It was total culture shock. Small town. Isolated. Very beautiful. Did I mention isolated??? lol! Anyway, I left someone who I had plans to marry there because I was afraid that the life out in the middle of nowhere would not suit me. I still love him. I always have but I did hurt him very much. After an initial conversation in which he became very angry with me (I assume from hurt and why are you coming back into my life now after i've just gotten over you kind of thing?) We have been exchanging brief text messages. I initiate them but he does respond. He is single. I realize that the life I would have had with him (after being back in a city environment) is actually what i really want NOW. A sense of community, lots of land, ranches, mountains, horses etc. ...and HIM. This sounds so trite but he feels like my one and only. i know there are many out there for us but I've never before or since felt the way i do about this person. I had to leave though to get this perspective and grow up and it wouldn't have worked out between us anyway if i hadn't left and gained this scope.

    So, I have a job offer there. And I will be there this summer for a long time. I know I would love the job but on the other hand, I still love my ex very much. I also know he loves me. I don't know how. I just do. BUT, I am concerned about the very real possibility that he will let pride or hurt get in the way of a reconcilliation. The only problems we ever had in our relationship concerned whether or not I could accept his lifestyle. Everything else was pretty great. He can not move. he is tied to his land but I have realized that is what i love so much about him and wouldn't want him to move or change who he is. Sooo... i'd like the job. The lifestyle is one I want now. I'm just worried that he won't ever take a chance with me again and it would be a nightmare to live in such an isolated community with him there but not being with him. I'm going to use the summer to feel out the situation and maybe go by my gut instincts. I don't know. It's kind of a tricky situation. Any advice how to proceed with this? I guess the obvious is to just go with the flow and see how things go this summer? I wouldn't be obligated to accept the job until the fall.

    Thanks so much

    xx



  • I don't feel that you will settle and be happy anywhere where there is not a large body of water. Dry arid places are not suited to you emotionally or physically. You need to be near water for your total wellbeing. Up high too if possible where there is a nice community and lots of animals.

    I'm sorry but I don't feel your ex and you will reconcile for good. He will never quite feel the same towards you or trust you not to hurt him again. If you had really been in love with him, nothing would have come between you. I feel that deep down you used the environment as an excuse to leave him. There were other things that weren't right there but you would not acknowledge them. Intellectually and emotionally you feel he was right for you but your gut told you something was amiss. Just something below the surafce... I feel he would change a lot for the worse if you ever married or lived together.



  • Thanks Captain. It's hard to accept now since i feel so strongly for him and have been looking for someone i could love as much again since but I value your input. And you are right, I know very well that he may not fully trust me again. the area where I'd move is up high though. It's in the mountains. About as high up in the mountains as you can get! I'll definitely take your input into consideration. thanks so much.

    xx



  • It's no good unless there is a body of water nearby. There HAS to be water to nourish your soul.

    Stonyeye, I feel a deep subconscious rebellion in you against settling down and committing to one person - letting yourself become 'ensnared' by love and losing your freedom. Before you and love can work together, you have to deal with this deep fear of being 'caged' - like a wild horse who fights against taming and corralling. Actually I feel like you WERE this wild untamed horse in a recent past life. That wild spirit is still smouldering inside you.



  • I'm laughing because you're so right! I want to plant myself somewhere and be with someone I love but everytime I get too comfortable in a situation, i have to make things difficult and change my entire life and move somwhere drastically different. What I want and what i end up doing are at complete odds with each other. I really do want to be with one person though and get married one day. I've had many chances for that. I suppose my ex was the only one who I could actually envision myself with longterm and get along with but I left him too...even though it killed me to do so and i really regret it. I have to break this pattern somwhow. Not only a 5 lifepath but also north node in Sagitarious! Two double whammies from what I've read about that desire for moving about all the time. Still, I really DO want to settle down. Right now, i live in a location most people would kill for and I could probably get a job here too but it doesn't feel right. It is near the ocean too. I was thinking about all other locations where I lived except for the last and they were near large bodies of water. Although the last did have a big lake nearby. I really don't want to live like a nomad though. It's hard to move, make new friends and feel settled yet that's exactly what I keep doing! I have friends all over the world but no place that I can really call home anymore. Argh! My immediate family have all done the same by the way. we are all living so far a part from each other yet we were so such a close and stable unit while growing up. Strange.



  • You seem to think you are living the wrong way, that you should be with someone. But that's not necessarily true. You may not need someone to be around permanently in order to be happy. In fact, I feel that your greatest companions in life will be animals - specifically horses. To you, with your former life as a wild stallion, they are closer to your nature and more like family than any human. Don't judge your life by how others live or what you think you SHOULD do - do what feels right and natural for you.



  • I don't think there is a right or wrong way to live and I am trying to eliminate the word "should" from my vocabulary 😉 but maybe the alternative is that my lesson is to finally settle down and stop looking for the "next great adventure"? I don't know. I feel like this may have been a cycle for many lifetimes ) i know nothing about my previous lives so am talking without any basis here but that nomadic tendency is so strong yet I truly want to settle down now. in a fixed location. I want very much to be with someone who i love and vice versa of course. I do like my independence so he would have to be someone who is the same as well. I can always satisfy the urge to roam through travel! I'm just soooo tired of moving, making new friends and starting over all the time yet i keep putting myself through that. i don't know why. So, I'm beginning to wonder if the life challenge is really to learn to settle down and just "be" instead of always searching for something new. I really like your words of advice about doing what feels right to me. that's actually been my mantra lately! Go where your heart leads you and forget all the mind chatter. I also like the idea of being a wild stallion in a past life! So thrilling! And yes, I do love ALL animals. Thanks Captain. Words to think about for sure as I find my way in this crazy world. You're always so helpful.

    x



  • Most of the great inventions and discoveries were made by those with an adventurous spirit, people who could not settle down to an ''ordinary/normal" life but had to keep on exploring and pushing back the boundaries of human experience. Our lives would be extremely tedious and monotone without their courageous contributions. When you have a sense of adventure, the routines of daily life may seem attractive from the outside but may bore you silly when you actually have the 'settled life' that seems so appealing now. Honour your exploring nature. Could it be you have subconsciously been choosing steady cautious partners when you really need someone as curious and brave as yourself?



  • THAT is a good question Captain. I need to think on that one! 🙂 I hadn't seen it that way before! You always get me to see things in a different light.

    xo



  • Hi captain, so...I've thought a lot about what you have written above. I'm kind of pooped out on the whole quest for adventure thing...as of now. I really do want stability and a person with whom to share my life. At this time, i don't feel the place where I live is "right". I don't know where I belong to be honest. I'm pretty comfortable with who i am so that should mean that wherever i am, I should feel comfortable and right but for some reason, this place is just not working for me. it's not bad. i just feel like i need something more. yes, animals and horses are indeed a part of what i need but I also want to be in the right spot where there are possibilities and potential for attracting the right partner. You say i should be near water. I can go with that. Any other suggestions? i know this is sort of an abstract question that maybe only i can figure out but if you have any input, I'd certainly value it. I know there is an astrological way of finding out places to attract love and abundance. Do you buy into that? If so, i can give you my birthdate if it helps... October 1, 1974 I even know the time! 4:05 Pacific time.

    Thanks to you foir your guidance and time and I hope you are doing great.

    Big hug

    SE



  • Let me ask you - would one place ever be enough for you to settle into? It may be you would get itchy feet after a while. Maybe you would be better suited to a lifestyle where you can move around a lot rather than having one home, like a gypsy? Or maybe you just need a base from which to keep on adventuring, then return home for a break when you tire of it. I just feel that your life will not be a totally settled one, yet it can be a happy one nevertheless. I still feel that wild stallion in you - its spirit will keep you running free. Maybe you should partner with a horse whisperer? 🙂 Just don't compare yourself with what makes others content.



  • "Just don't compare yourself with what makes others content" .... Exactly! I've already learned that lesson the hard way. I'll go get my horse whisperer 🙂

    Thank you

    xoxo


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