Need advice regarding an Aquarius Woman (I'm a Sagittarius Male)
Thank you Captain. Yes, I do feel so much freer. Earlier this morning my wife and I continued to talk. She finally admitted that for 'years' she felt an 'emptiness' inside of our marriage, that was coming from me.
She said that for some reason, she never felt like she could pierce through my heart and make that 'connection' with me. She said that it was as if there was a wall surrounding me that she could never get through.
She admitted that she felt this from me for years...yet she never said anything either. She said that many times she felt that she was in a 'loveless' marriage with me.
So that is what has been happening so far. I had a long talk with my two teenage kids. They are very sad about it all...but they said they are not surprised in the least bit.
All they have ever known our marriage to be was nothing but constant fighting, bickering and strife.
My wife even admitted that we have ALWAYS been this way with each other, since our early days of just being 'friends' and even while we were dating and all through our marriage. We have always and I mean ALWAYS fought. It's so sad.
Now I need for some serious financial miracles to finally come through. I need this, whether I decide to try and work things out in my marriage or decide to move forward with a divorce.
Either way, money is a huge thing right now.
As far as my Aqua girl...she has been nothing but EXTREMELY supportive with all of this.
She continues to be extremely affectionate with me but right now, is just concerned about my well being.
I will keep everyone posted on everything.
It doesn't sound as if your and your wife were ever really in love. People in love just don't fight like that so much. So you cannot create what isn't there.
Exactly!!! Thank you Captain. I believe that is so right on! So who knows what's next.
That's probably why your love affair with the Aquarian woman has such a big effect on you - you are finally seeing what love really is.
I agree with TheCaptain about living your own authetic individual life. I hope it all works out for you now that you have made the hardest decision of all time.
Thank you both so much!!! It is so appreciated! My wife is still 'trying' to hang on to me and hoping that I change my mind. Honestly, I don't know if I will or not. Part of me is SO DONE. Part of me wants to try to work things out...but it's not because I want to be in love with her...but because I see the sadness my kids are experiencing.
Interestingly enough, my Aqua girl finally admitted something to me today that she has never confessed before.
It began when we were talking and I had made a comment about possibly trying to work things out with my wife. I said to her that I didn't make this decision hoping to have a life with my Aqua woman at some point...but because I don't have an guarantees with my Aqua girl anyway...maybe I should give it another try.
Later in the day, she confessed that she was really hurt by this...then she FINALLY let it all out.
She said that she doesn't know what the future holds, but she knows that she can't imagine a future without me.
She said that she is sooo scared right now. She has so many fears and concerns about so many things.
She's scared to leave her current marriage to be with me for so many reasons. She said...
'You know...I wish I could predict how things would be...taking such a risk with you and wanting to move forward...it's such a HUGE thing for me...OMG!!!!!!!' It freaks me out!!!!
...It's like I want to know if I'm moving into a bad or good situation...if what I'm doing is the right thing or not and it's like I'm blind and have no answers...just a black tunnel....not knowing if I will make it to see the light or not. That alone eats me up inside. I want a future with you, but I don't know what it holds for us. I feel that I cannot fail you if I decide to once and for all say 'yes' completely and move forward with you. I haven't said 'YES' yet, but I am definitely leaning in that direction. It's something I do want and have considered.'
She also said that she doesn't want a future without me. She says that she doesn't want to share me with my wife or anyone else anymore and wants me all to herself. She said 'I don't want anyone else to experience you...I DON'T!!!!!!!'.
So that's what is happening on that front. After she said all of this...I felt such a HUGE 'close vibe' from her...a much more deeper connection than I'm used to.
It's like for some reason, now that she let her true feelings out and took such a huge risk by admitting all of this and becoming so vulnerable with me...like her heart has now latched onto me like never before.
Obviously...I have been longing for this for a very long time. But I still won't get my hopes up with her.
It's like Captain said, in an earlier posting...that my Aqua girl likes her 'creature comforts' and she is going to go with the man that will better provide for her.
Right now, I can't afford her...because of my upcoming divorce, my 3 children and her 2 children.
It really sucks, it's like I have to loan her out to be with her current husband because I can't afford her...which makes me feel like less of a man.
Either way, Captain...YOU ARE SO RIGHT ON with that statement...
'That's probably why your love affair with the Aquarian woman has such a big effect on you - you are finally seeing what love really is.'
I SOOO agree with that. To me, whether I end up with my Aqua girl or not, permanently...one thing is for sure...what WE have is an example of the way it should be.
We actually were able to spend half the day together on Saturday. No (sex) or anything sexual whatsoever...just a beautiful time together. An amazing time at a beautiful secluded park...able to hold hands in public and enjoy each other...followed by Dinner at an awesome Italian restaurant.
It was our first 'real date'...outside of work hours and again...no sexual stuff at all. It wasn't about that.
We both absolutely LOVED our time. She said it feld 'so natural' to be with me. I felt a little weird...because as we were eating, she was taking care of me...the way a wife in love normally does. Something I'm not used to. Simple things...like if I was reaching for something at the table...she would grab it first to hand it to me or making sure that I had what I needed.
Small simple things like this seems silly...but since I'm not used to any of that and just used to being self-reliant and independent...it definitely stood out to me.
She said she just loved being with me in that type of scenery...she just kept saying over and over how it all seemed so 'natural' to her. How she felt totally comfortable and happy to be with me.
It was so nice having that time together with her, outside of the work week, outside of work hours and etc.
We are planning on having a 'Hotel Day' at some point this week...since we both really have the desire to be with each other in that capacity.
Once again...obviously I am totally loving all of this.
However, I still can't get my hopes up. If at any point my Aqua girl decides to just 'snap out of things' and wants to end our relationship...then oh well...that is the way it's going to be then.
At least, I can say that I now know what a real relationship is supposed to be like and will definitely use it as an example in the future...should I not end up with my Aqua woman.
Even earlier this evening...as I was talking to her by phone...she was starting to show signs of hurt and jealousy towards my wife. I know this is normal...but she has NEVER, EVER, EVER been that way or has ever shown me that side of her....EVER.
She just keeps saying that she can't believe that I have been in my marriage this long. She is angry at my wife because she says 'How can she not take care of you!!!! How can she not know that you are supposed to take care of your man??? What did she think was going to happen?? Is she that stupid that she doesn't think you would look for it somewhere else??'
She just keeps saying that I'm way too good for my wife and that my wife doesn't deserve me.
Anyway, I will continue to post updates as time progresses...just so that you all know what is happening.
Thank you again everyone for your amazing and incredible support!!! Also, as always...feedback and comments are always welcome.
"At least, I can say that I now know what a real relationship is supposed to be like and will definitely use it as an example in the future...should I not end up with my Aqua woman."
That is a very healthy outlook to have. You see the deeper reasons for this relationship.
I guess once a cheater always a cheater
once a liar always a liar
You both deserve each other.
Obviously not to be trysted at all!!
How do you get the money for these so called hotel days?
when you cant even buy basic living things?
You get her to buy you huh? Guess shes a sucker then oh so thats why you say not to 'buy' you anything, guilt got the better of you? I hope it eats you up!
You used to be a friend who a flatted with but now your a Liar, cheater, you stole my trust in you, you cheated on me with this bitch, you lied to me about it, and now you wonder why I am so pissed off with you, you make me sick! I no longer regard you as a flatmate friend anymore as you are only using me for rent and pretend to be 'happy' with me. Grow the fuck up and get a life. I am leaving next chq to a better place i have had enough of your indirect, hurtful mean disgusting ways and I really hope you are better off with this bitch than with me. No jealousy here whenyou are the one who lied and stole and pretends, you have no idea of what love is and that very sad. I wish and pray that you will find your true love. Oh and also whe nI come home dont talk to me and leave me the fuck alone. I have asked you to numerous times and you never do. Get this thru your thick head LEAVE ME ALONE TERENCE ROBINSON!
Sorry for posting the last few posts I was angry and now I am not. Yeh to the person who is making these stories up to get at me fuck off and leave me alone. If my flatmate is making these stories up to get at me he can leave me alone but if its someone else then please leave me alone. I am going thru enough and dont need this to make me fall off the wagon. It causes me stress and to whomever is making these stories up tp get at me you are a fuckwit, get the fuck out of my life and stop causing crap to happen in my life. Go away! Get that thru your thick head!
Crazycap, this is MJaaay's personal thread. If you need help with a problem of your own, you should start your own thread - you are confusing MJaaay, a stranger, with your own friend.
I'm not sure what is happening but I can assure you that I do not know you, nor who this person 'Terence Robinson' is, nor am I making up any stories to get back at you or anything.
Thank you so much for your post. When I read all of the other posts earlier...I was like 'WTF is going on? Once again, thank you!!!
Hey MJ, been following this thread and well done for taking that crucial step in being honest with your wife and yourself. I wish you every success in whatever the future holds for you. From a fellow Sagi
Thank you YummyBrummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very sorry for posting what i did, I neither know a 'Terence Robinson' nor you or anyone else for that matter.
I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY!!
I wish to leave now and never post again. I have lied in what i have typed in these posts and I am very sorry for that.
I wish you all the best for the future.
You're very welcome MJ
Hope you're feeling better Crazycap
I hope I am too!