Need advice regarding an Aquarius Woman (I'm a Sagittarius Male)
I'm completely brand-new to this website, I just joined 5 minutes ago. I need advice from Aquarius females, but any helpful comments will be appreciated.
I'm going to get a bit personal on here...so please...no 'judgments' from anyone. It's because this is SUCH A SENSITIVE MATTER...that I'm posting this on here, so that I can get 'clear and unbiased' feedback. I cannot talk to ANYONE in my life about this for a number of reasons.
I'm married with 3 children and am involved in an extramarital relationship with a married woman w/ 2 children.
This woman is an Aquarius.
About 1 1/2 years ago, she ended an extramarital relationship with someone else. This extramarital relationship was her first initial affair during her marriage.
I've known her for about 4 years now since we work in the same building and I knew her when she was involved in this last relationship.
So for whatever reason, we became REALLY close friends in the beginning of this year and about a month into it...it got EXTREMELY sexual. I DO MEAN EXTREMELY.
Not only that, but it also got very emotionally intense as well. She is an amazing, GORGEOUS, incredible woman...but she is usually very straight-forward and not that very affectionate.
However with me, she quickly became very different. The emotional connection that we have experienced, neither one of us have ever experienced with anyone else before...and it has been VERY VERY INTENSE.
First and foremost...we care about each other A LOT. We are very close as friends, she considers me her 'Best Friend' and we make sure to remind each other that our 'families' (i.e., kids) are the priority...not our relationship.
Emotionally, I take care of her ever way that I can...which is easy because I truly love her. My personality type is pretty aggressive and outgoing but at the same time I can be very sensitive to her needs.
She has told me on multiple occasions that she has been searching her entire life to have a friendship like the kind that we have.
Her husband's personality is very 'soft' and has been completely good to her in every respect (with her kids, financially and he loves her very much). But she is FAR MORE emotionally connected and closer to me than him. I not only listen to her...but she has shared stuff with me that she has never been able to share with anyone, including her husband)...these are extremely private and personal matters in nature and many times even sexual.
Sexually between us has been EXTREMELY intense. At first, we would have 'encounters' of different sorts, almost daily. We have even spent the entire day together at Hotels on a few occasions. Sexually between us is pretty erotic and very intense.
She has also 'let her self go' in terms of any 'inhibitions' with me sexually, so when we are together...she just wants to please me as much as I want to please her.
We have often told each other that we would like to leave our current spouse's to be with each other, but the only thing that stops us is the impact it will have on our children...which we would die for in a heartbeat.
At the same time, she is struggling emotionally. She feels she owes her husband the chance to 'work things out' with him which is when she will ask me for a lot of 'space'. At one point she even wanted to end things between us sexually...because she felt very guilty and that having me 'on the side' was interfering with her working things out with her husband.
Then later that same day she told me that she was just confused and didn't want to end things with me.
She seems to go back-n-forth.
I'm EXTREMELY passionate, outgoing and sometimes aggressive. Even in terms of our relationship, I have learned that I have to 'pull back' sometimes because I can easily smother her if I'm not careful.
However, I believe I have fallen completely in love with her...which upsets me because I cannot have her completely to myself.
We have accepted that we each have to fulfill our duties to our spouse's sexually...and although we do not like it, we accept the reality.
However as hypocritical as it sounds, she has asked me not to be sexually involved with anyone else but with her and my wife, which I agreed to and asked the same of her.
This morning, she was texting me and told me the same thing as she did a month ago. That she wants us just to be Best Friends and stop the sexual stuff because she feels guilt and wants to try to make things work with her husband.
I love her to pieces and will always be there for her but unfortunately I wish her and I could be together...on a permanent basis.
This is SOOO new to me...never in my life have I felt this way about a female...even my own wife.
With other females...it was always just sexual...but with her...I don't know...I'm just completely intoxicated by her and her ways.
I am also upset because I have allowed myself to feel this way about her...and I am just perplexed about the whole thing.
I don't know what to do. I told her that I will support whatever she wants to do...but deep inside I'm hurt to pieces and I wish we could be together.
Sometimes sexually between us...she seems almost obsessed with either me or my 'member'...and I feel the same way about her sexually.
During our Hotel encounters...the level of passion and emotion that she get's with me is 'out of this world'...it really blows me away.
Anyway, I'm just rambling now...but I wish I understood her more.
It's so like her to come to me in a few days and want to 'continue' what we have. She 'flip flops' so much and it's driving me crazy.
I'm just so torn and lost now. Even as I'm ending this post...she's texting me again.
Geez...this is so freakin crazy.
So here's an update:
When I wrote my initial post 'above'...it was mid-morning Westcoast time. As I was ending the post...my Aquarius woman started texting me and just telling me again how this is something she feels she needs to do.
However, she then began telling me that she's an emotional wreck and that she still wants to be with me...so she doesn't know what she wants to do.
We had a chance to speak this afternoon for about a half-hour or so and I told her that as her Best Friend, I will support whatever she wants to do. I began telling her how much I love her and care about her and how I don't want to end the 'more than friends' relationship that we have.
Earlier in the texting I told her how much pain I was in...but during our conversation I told her that I'm not going to repeat that stuff....because I don't want to mess with her mind or emotions...especially as she was driving to her house.
This evening she started texting me again and told me how much she missed me. She said that when we said our good-bye's earlier from our phone conversation...that she began crying heavily and she couldn't go home a wreck...so she just pulled over somewhere until she stopped crying.
I mentioned that the last time we had this kind of a 'break-up' episode, that it was almost 1 month ago exactly.
She said that back then, she was about to begin her 'time of the month' and now as of today, she's about 5 days from starting this month.
She said that right now she doesn't know what is wrong with her, that maybe her hormones are causing her to act this way and that she doesn't know what she wants. She says she needs time to figure out what she really wants. She said she just started thinking about me like crazy and had to check-in with me because she started to miss me big time.
So anyway, it's been an emotional day for both of us as you all can imagine.
I don't know if this will help at all from a Zodiac standpoint, but here are our Birthdays and additional info:
I was born on November 30th 1977.
She was born on January 29, 1976.
So as you can see, I'm 34yrs old and she is 36yrs old. I work in Technology/Marketing so I deal with tons of people all day long and am constantly 'speaking' or 'presenting' to a lot of people.
She works in the same building, but more in an administrative function, in a separate department from my group.
Anyway, just thought I would give you all the latest update.
The pain earlier today was almost too much for me to bare...but I have been getting by trying to manage.
Just about every morning during the business week, my Aquarius friend and I will have breakfast together in her office or somewhere semi-private.
In light of all that took place yesterday, I decided to not reach out to her today and just give her some good old fashion 'space'. Although I was still hurting from yesterday's ordeal, I thought it would be better for both of us. I was in the break-room about to eat my breakfast and I get an instant message from her on my phone saying 'hello'. I told her what I was up to and then she replied saying that she wanted to have breakfast with me, but that she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything from over the weekend...and that she just needed her space.
I replied saying that I was fine with that. She then said that for now, she wanted me to separate myself from what happened and just be a friend for the moment. She said she realizes that it's a very hard thing for me to do...but she needed this from me.
So I agreed. We spent a good 1.5 hours talking about all kinds of things while we both took care of work-related stuff...and not once either of us mentioning our 'feelings' what happened yesterday, how we feel and etc.
So I don't know, I guess I have come to expect this now. Many times she acts completely and utterly disinterested while we are together in one of our offices, just having random conversation.
Then once I leave and we are in our own offices...I will get a tons of 'instant messages' with her explaining how she feels or asking me about how I feel or sharing even intimate stuff and etc.
When she leaves for the day and is outside of our building...I get text messages throughout day and evening until she goes to bed.
Sometimes when we 'escape' for lunch, she will stay in the passenger seat and just 'hang out' with me...and other times when I am expecting us to just hang out together...she will head straight to the back seat for what appears to be obvious reasons ready to have an 'encounter' with me.
It feels like a constant 'push-and-pull'. First she wants to be distant, then she wants to be close. She puts on a poker face and pretends there is nothing happening between us...then she will send me a 5-page email about how much she loves me and cares for me and never wants to lose me.
Sometimes if we're together, I will come up from behind to give her a nice firm hug...sometimes she wants to 'get away' from the hug...other times she will attack me.
This whole thing is so crazy.
Can anyone provide any insight?
I read everything you posted and I think I can shed some light on the situation. Now i'm no expert in Astrology but I know a bit, so I'm going to try and help you here.
Being an Aquarius female myself, I instantly recognize some classic " Aquarian " ways with your gal. We Aquarians are in the category of Air signs. Air signs are known to be somewhat "Flighty and with our heads in the clouds" at times. All the flip flopping back in forth that she is doing is something that as an Aquarians tend to do. Granted, that is a stereotype but it seems to be consistent with the sign. Now when you say she seems at times "disinterested" That is another Aquarian trait. We really are not the most emotional people, we tend to come off cold and are not exactly the easiest to have relationships with because of that. You then say she will be completely into you at points and once again that is the flighty nature of air signs.
You being a fire sign makes you extremely passionate and you delve into love and sex with everything you got. From what I can see that is why this is making you so crazy. Her naturally Aquarian ways tend to often confuse you because of your straight forward style.
Now because of the situation that you are both in, that is also making it awfully hard on her obviously. There is a marriage involved and she feels guilty. Completely understandable and normal. That is definitely one of the main reasons for her actions. However, I probably know better than anybody that you cannot help who you fall in love with and have feelings for and that is what makes this such a touchy and emotionally charged situation for the both of you. I can somewhat understanding where you are coming from on this. This is a sensitive situation and therefore that can make people do crazy things and often lead to confusion.
Thank you SOOOOO much for taking the time to respond to me. At first I was thinking to myself that I posted way too much info (TMI). However my goal was to provide as much information as possible so that way it would help individuals with providing me feedback and insight.
You are 'spot on' in terms of the 'Aquarian Woman' breakdown. You are right, it's driving me freakin nuts. I truly LOVE her, want her, desire her, etc.
There are times that she acts completely 'stand-offish' and doesn't want to even talk or discuss anything relating to our romance or our feelings.
Then the VERY NEXT DAY...or even in a few hours of the very same day...she is charged up and ready to take me by storm!
I love her and support her decisions and if she decides to truly end things...it will be horribly painful for me, but as her closest friend I will support her with this.
Just today at work for example...OMG it was a crazy, crazy crazy day for both of us. As soon as I got in the office early in the morning, she approached me with the most sweetest and loving manner and was showing signs of being completely in love with me.
Throughout the day, as we were messaging back and forth, the dialogue went from times of her telling me (with anger I might add) why I am wrong for thinking that she is in love with me and that is why she wants to end our romance.
A few hours later in her office, she tells me that she wants to continue our romance but doesn't want me trying to 'take her' from her marriage. She wants a romance with no strings attached and on her time and terms. She says that if it comes to the point where she does leave her husband for me...then it happens but that I shouldn't try to make anything happen.
So she says she wants to continue with our romance and although a future together is not guaranteed what-so-ever...she doesn't want me being romantically or sexually involved with anyone else (other than my wife of course) because she says she would be devastated and crushed and because she is extremely attached to me. So I agreed and asked the same of her once again.
She says that no matter what...she will always love me and I will forever be a part of her and she will NEVER give up our 'friendship' for anyone.
However, when it comes to romance and sexual stuff...she wants to be the one to initiate things more so, rather than me always pursuing her (which I do often...very often).
Your insight AquarianSara, makes me feel so much better...like I'm not crazy but that this is the way it is for our signs.
It's the weirdest thing too...I want to be close to her...like 24/7...she fascinates me, blows my mind and I am so damn intoxicated by her persona.
My tendency is to want to always chase after her and pursue her and in the past...that is when she starts asking me for 'space'.
However, it seems that the more I stay away from her, the more space she has from me (which I completely hate), the more she wants me around???
This is so crazy.
Anyway, thank you again..sooo much!!!!!!!!!!
From what I can see, what is consistent with her is her inconsistency. The push and the pull that happens with air signs. Aquarians also value independence very high, which is why she often needs her space and begins to feel suffocated when you continue to pursue her. She likes things to happen on her terms which is not uncommon with "fixed" signs. (Aquarius is a "fixed" sign, which means they are set in their ways and don't often bow to the way others want to do things easily.) You are a "mutable" sign which means you can easily become flexible to others views and ways. Which is another reason why you will do things on her terms, as well as because you do not want to lose her.
I wish you the best Mjaaay, and I hope that things can start to become clear for the both of you, and you both can find what is best for the situation at hand, whatever that may be.
Thank you again for your words of wisdom. I truly appreciate your insight, especially as it's coming from another Aquarius female.
Today was a lot better, than yesterday. I basically stayed away from her and didn't reach out to her...by any means...or rather...I did not 'initiate' any contact with her.
Instead, she initiated the contact and reached out to me, invited me over to her office a few times and even came by my office on several occasions.
In our conversations I made sure not to bring anything up and kept everything pretty cool.
She appeared to have appreciated this, as I made sure there was no 'pressure' coming from me...although inside I really wanted to be close to her.
Anyway, thank you again...you helped me out sooooooooo much!!!!!!!
I guess we'll see what comes of this over the next few weeks/months.
I'm sorry MJ but I don't feel this will end well for you. I feel your friend will return to her partner for good and leave you hanging. She sees you as her 'addiction' which must be kicked - not as someone she would be willing to commit her whole life to. You two do respect each other enormously and communicate easily, but your natures and attitudes to life are so very different that I doubt you would be prepared to entrust your futures to such a relationship or commit to it with full force. You may become suspicious of your friend's motives after a while, while she is wary of your aggressiveness which she doesn't feel all that comfortable with, as she also likes to be the boss in her own less fiery way. Along with passion here, there is also instability and nervousness. The relationship's frenetic pace and lack of good sense carries little guarantee that it will last. This particular combination also tends to overlap with business activities which, along with your marriages, can also be endangered by an affair here. Your friend, whether you realize it or not, is very money-oriented and loves her creature comforts and possessions, so who can best provide for her will play into her choice of a life partner.
To be frank, MJ, I feel that part of this woman's allure for you is her dramatic reaction to you physically - it is very good for your self-esteem and confidence that there is such red-hot passion between you and that your lover obviously admires your physical prowess. Deep down I feel you compare your wife unfavourably to her - you might feel that you may be 'jinxed' in love. But you may be searching for impossible or unavailable people who can never give you the love you really need. You can get drawn into emotional situations that end up leaving you feeling rejected and more unhappy with yourself than when you started. You need to liberate yourself from insecurity about your own lovability and worthiness, so that you won't have to always be running about trying to prove it with some sort of emotional 'binge'. This affair is not really about your Aquarian friend at all but about how you feel about yourself and your deep need to be wanted - that needs to be resolved in ways other than taking chances in love. It's about why your marriage to your wife is not making you feel loved and wanted. And how to find that deeper better higher love you crave. It starts with love of self.
I suggest you pull yuor finger out and do something about being with this wman you claim to 'love' so much before you lose her completely
WOW, so much of what you said rings so true. You have incredible insight. You are right, I think there are some crazy, serious 'issues' that I still have to work on within myself...that affects and has affected so much in my life. It's so weird...how besides this Aquarian girl, with other women it's always been purely physical/sexual...and NEVER anything more.
But with this one...it's like OMG...why am I so intoxicated by her?? It's SO WEIRD that I have NEVER felt this way about a female.
So much has happened since my last set of postings...but so much has also taken place 'within myself'. I have accepted the reality that we may never end up together. She may never want to have a life with me and may just want me 'on the side'. I have accepted this.
Of course I want SO MUCH MORE...but it is what it is. I rather have 'some of her' than 'none of her'.
I also realized that when I went through this 'Emotional Earthquake' when I wrote my initial posting...that whole week I was really 'thrown off my game' and I was super emotional...something I NEVER am. Especially in business...I am a 'hard-ass' all of the time and I have to be, within the nature of my industry.
But I realized that when I was 'shaken up' emotionally...it really was like a Damn that had bursted...and years and years of pain and memories even from my childhood growing up...all came flooding back into my mind.
It was very CRAZY for me last week, emotionally speaking. I thought I had forgot about so much of my past...until it all came and hit me at once. The mistakes I had made with friends and family, the relationships I had abandoned with them, the people in my life that I had lost contact with...so many things...it all just hit me at once. Yeah, it definitely was not a pretty sight.
You are so right...so many things have to do with 'Me' and less with her.
I didn't really post much about other things happening in my life, but strangely enough you did lightly touch on things. For example, my marriage.
I have loved my wife for YEARS and have always gone above and beyond for...I mean WAY ABOVE AND BEYOND.
The sad thing is that although we have had wonderful times as well...the majority of the last 15 years have been filled with mainly arguments, fights, heartache and the like. It wasn't until about a year ago...that I finally just 'stop caring'. I think a lot of bitterness has set in for both of us.
Just as an FYI, her birthday is: 12/15/1973...so she is also a Sagittarius.
I always thought about how weird it was...that when couples usually start 'dating' during the courtship process...it's usually 'lovey dovey' for a long time. Then if they get married...there is of course the 'Honeymoon Phase'.
Unfortunately, for some reason...we never really had that.
Even early on in our dating, it was mainly sexual...followed by a lot of disagreement. I wonder sometimes how it is that we even ended up together and getting married. We were always constantly fighting and arguing. How weird. It's sad because my older children (teenagers) see this a lot and they know we aren't happy. They even point out how we constantly argue over the stupidest things.
I know that the right thing to do would be to either try to work this out with her or end things once and for all. Unfortunately, there really isn't any talking to her or with her about this sort of stuff.
The minute I try...she will blow up and it will be WWIII. Even in the past, when I have tried to talk to her about stuff...she will come out and just say 'So, what? You want to break up?'. Just like that.
The other item you touched on lightly was in the area of 'business'. I won't get into too much detail...but suffice to say that I have been looking for a new position both within my current company as well as outside of my current company for the last 18 months.
Within the last year, there have been '3 Silver Bullet's...three very unique, COMPLETELY separate 'Scandals' that I have found myself in the middle of. I could have and probably should have been fired for either one of these three scandals.
Granted, whatever involvement I had was EXTREMELY minor and next to nothing...but when you are in the middle of such a 'witch hunt' and there are political adversaries on every front, things can get pretty hectic. This really blows me away since, for YEARS up to the last 1.5 years...I have experienced the most overall success and financial success at this company, more so than any other time in my life or company that I have worked for. Then for all of this to start happening...it's pretty crazy.
Thank you again for your insight and for being completely honest. Who knows how things are going to turn out, however whatever it is...I'm prepared for it.
Thank you for your comment. I agree, I had to 'snap out of it'...DEFINITELY. However, as far as 'doing something'...any suggestions???
MJ, what you really need is time alone to sort out the old issues that are still bothering you - before you decide what to do about all your relationships, you need to be calm and in balance so that you can make the best choice for everyone concerned. You certainly can't be calm or objective around either your wife or lover - can you get away for a weekend or more by yourself in order to think straight without any outside influence? Things to ponder - why exactly are you holding on to your marriage - is there any part of you that still hopes or wants to make it work? Your kids know that their parents aren't happy so they can't be happy either with the state of things. So no one in your family is happy with the situation - thus it needs to be changed in some way.
Hi, Is this woman older than you. Just wondering. I read your first post. Anyway, my advice is to calm down and get down to earth. Like thecaptain mentioned, this is like an addiction that's being read as love. I don't see a happy ending. Thrill-seeking...
And looking over your compatibility with your wife, I observe that the two of you make either excellent allies or formidable opponents. If you two were guns trained on each other, it would be best not to get caught in the crossfire (which your children probably feel they are). Your wife is a commanding presence and is unlikely to withdraw from the 'fray', but you are equally determined and can attack with measured tempo or unrelenting fury if necessary. You are two highly individual personalities so it is hard for you to serve on the same side - but should your energies gel, the resulting force is well-nigh irresistible. Whether amicable or adversarial, this relationship is extremely unusual, and its mutable qualities make flexibility under fire one of its strongest attributes. You will both fight long and hard for your goals, whether together or against each other.
Because this relationship is so intensely physical, as lovers or mates you two will probably want to engage in sports and fitness activities, or at the very least to take long walks or go swimming, etc. You will both enjoy a frank and open attitude towards sex, but should be careful that built-in antagonisms do not result in power trips or insensitive, even violent behaviour. Your marked independence as spouses can mean that your children will have to look after themselves a great deal of the time. Competitiveness can rarely be avoided in this relationship, nor can tension and antagonism. If an attractive third person comes into the picture (as it has done), the marital ties will be strained to their limit and even to the breaking point. This is ultimately not a good matchup for love, as battling each other will be a definite part of the relationship.
MJ, physical and sexual relating seems to be the main part of your relationships so far. So perhaps that is why the emotional closeness you feel with your Aquarian friend is so unusual and shocking and attractive to you. Perhaps it is what you have been always searching for but never found. But this may be in no way her doing but your own growing maturity and the throwing off of the bad relationship lessons you learned as a child from your parents. You may have been taught that relationships were all temporary or just physically-based, but now you are evolving and starting to shake off that mistaken conditioning and are yearning for a closer, more emotionally rich, and meaningful committed matchup. Try finding this with yourself first, thenwith others. Make right your relationship with yourself and your other relationships will flourish.
Maybe meet and sit down with her and talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Tell her your intoxicated by her and that you have never felt this way about anyfemale before.
Wow, you guys are so awesome!!!!!! I never imagined getting this kind of incredible feedback...especially from people that I have never met in person. This blows me away and I appreciate everyone's comments.
As usual, your insight and words of wisdom are 'right on' and phenomenal. YOU ARE SO RIGHT about SO MANY THINGS.
I often think about 'why' I'm still holding on to my marriage. I mean, hell, even so many of our family members (On her side) have seen so many of our 'issues'. I think probably because through the entire length of our marriage, we have had a variety of 'hardships' (external circumstances)...and we had to press through a lot of stuff to keep the family above water.
So part of me didn't ever want to feel that I was 'abandoning ship' in any way. I HAVE NEVER felt like life was too hard that I would leave my family. However, the specific marital relationship itself...I have not been to happy with either. That right there, makes me think like wow...I'm not happy and neither is she. We both deserve happiness and perhaps ending things between us would be the best thing for both of us.
You are right about my childhood influences too. My parents both engaged in extramarital relationships and most of this was done in 'obvious' and plain site in front of myself and other siblings. In fact, very often I was taken along with one parent or the other, while they were 'hanging out' with their lover/mate/friend, etc. In fact, my Father is on his 3rd marriage (although, I think that's the last stop for him anyway).
I do wish that I could have more time to myself...however...at this point in time...that is EXTREMELY difficult. Even getting away for a walk or to go work-out, usually results in an argument because my spouse can't understand the fact that I like to get away and 'think' sometimes, without all sorts of static and noise from family being around me all of the time.
I think what you said is also extremely right on about my attraction to the Aquarian girl for many reasons. Emotionally, yes I have never had this...so this is very new and intoxicating. When we are 'sexual' or physical together...I kind of just like completely pour myself into it, like 200%...and of course the emotions fuel the physical aspects...which then in turn makes things very intense.
In the past, when I was 'getting physical'...things were good...but I was not very 'emotionally' involved if that makes any sense.
This time around, between the Aquarian gal and I...It's freaking intense...extremely passionate. Then knowing that she isn't very affectionate to begin with...and then when we have our encounters and I see her completely lose herself with me...it's mind-blowing for me.
Even this week...was a very unusual week for her and I. She has been EXTREMELY affectionate with me which is unlike her. I then try giving her 'space' because I know she needs it...and then she keeps wanting to be with me.
We even had SEVERAL encounters this week...and even just as recent as last night. It was freaking insane and amazing...all at the same time.
I guess as I'm going through all of this stuff...I am learning to also deal with my own issues. I realize that I will always have a great and close friend with my Aquarian girl...and if it never becomes a more permanent relationship...then so be it. If not, then I will have to move on.
This has all been a crazy roller-coaster ride for me...and I'm just barely now getting to understand things...thanks to all of you!!
Oh heck yes, her and I have talked and discuss this stuff in great intimate detail. From what I see and from what she says...she feels the same. I guess time will tell what happens between us.
Do you want it to become a more permenant relationship with the aquarian girl?
If you did, then why dont you ask her to be in a mmore permenant relationship with her?
Well that's the thing...I have. The problem is that right now, in order for us to have a permanent relationship...we both have to end or marriages. That's A LOT easier said than done. In addition, we both have children involved...so this complicates things even more so.
My whole thing is, if she was really...truly happy in her marriage right now...then why is she 'cheating' on her husband. She has done this to him before and he did find out about it.
He forgave her and continued to want to stay together with her and work things out.
Then I came along...and our friendship quickly became an 'emotional affair'...then escalated and progressed in to a 'sexual affair'.
If you go back to the beginning of all of my posts and read from there onward...you'll see that she has done a lot of 'back n' forth' in her wanting to leave her husband for me/wanting to pursue something permanent with me.
So things are very complicated for both of us right now. Also, like Captain has explained...there are tons of issues that I also need to deal with that have more to do with me than with her or my current wife.
But yeah, I can't stop thinking about her...and it appears that she can't stop thinking about me.
She seems to have moments of guilt, where she will then want to end things with me...then she get's over her guilt and wants to continue things with me.
One thing that I forgot to post...was that over a month ago...one morning her husband stumbled upon a letter that I had wrote to her.
Later that morning, he came to her place of employment and confronted her about the whole thing (in a private area of course). She denied the whole thing...so as to maintain things with him and her family.
However later that day, she told him that although she loved him, she was no longer in love with him.
I asked her then if she wanted to end things with me and she said no, that she wanted to continue things with me.
It's all very unusual.