Scorpio in love with Cancer-HELP!

  • Hi I am in need of understanding a cancer man which we will name him "Jay". He is sooo CONFUSING! I know that there have been many of posts relating to how confusing cancer men can be. I tried to find my answer myself by reading a good portion of your posts, but no luck, Im hoping to get some feedback from the tarot community.....

    First let me start out by saying that I am in a current relationship with a Libra man, named Gary, and have been for 7 1/2 years. I love him very much and but am unsure if i want to marry him, as my feelings to marriage are very serious. I've never been married, but i do know, based on my own personal beliefs and feelings, i only want to do it ONCE!

    I first met Jay 7 years ago at a party and from that moment on, we have ALWAYS had a serious attraction for eachother. We lost contact with one another for 2 years and somehow we re-connected bc I ran into his mother at the market one day. She gave me is number and I decided to call him shortly after. The time that we had lost contact, I thought about him periodically bc i have never met anyone that I connected with so much. Once I reunited with him, he too felt the same way about me. Wondering how i was doing, thinking about me, he even came close to finding me by going to my mothers house. When we reunited He was in a relationship for 2 years that has now ended over a year ago. In between the years Jay and I would talk for a week and then not hear from eachother for 6 months or so. While he was with his ex, yes the 2 of us would find time to see eachother and hang out and yes of course, we did sleep with eachother. (which WOW....he is the BEST i have ever had 😄 ) Anyhow, I helped him to get over his crazy ex-gf by listening and encouraging him to meet and date new women. Since him and his ex broke up, we have not lost contact with one another. We talk nearly everyday during the week M-F 8-5. As time has gone on, we both have developed more and more deep feelings for one another. He's told me that he loves me and cares for me very much. He has asked me to take our relationship to another level before, but then he falls out and we dont speak for a couple of weeks. I want to be with him because we connect on so many different levels. I love and care for him but am in another relationship with Gary and his son.

    Recently, Jay's bday passed and i had spent nearly $200 on him for his 30th bday. 2 days after i gave him his gifts, he texted me and told me that we should settle down, meaning not talk everyday like we have been for the past year. He said, I love you, but im not in love with you. I just dont understand!! He is soo back and forth, moody and just flat out CONFUSING! I guess my question here is how do i know if he is really that into me? He's gestured many times that he wants to be with me, but then goes back on what he says bc i am with Gary. I'm afraid to be in a relationship with Jay because i just feel like he could really hurt me. I know what im doing to both of these men are way WRONG! Jay is the only man i have ever been unfaithful with to Gary. I feel awful for doing this to Gary, he is a good man, and loves and adores me VERY much! He knows that I have had 1 foot out the door for sometime now due to relationship issues that I think everyone encounters after being together for 7 years. Gary is starting to get frustrated bc I wont marry him. We were engaged in 2006 but i took his ring off in Feb 09 and have not put it back on. Our wedding date was set in April 09, but i called it off, bc i am unsure of making such a commitment.

    (I know I am leaving a lot of info out, but this is just a brief summary of my misery) 😞

    Any feedback would be great......Thanks!

  • i am married almost thirty years, met a cancer in 02 and felt an attaction right away, i have struggled with this attraction now for seven yaers and it has been in silence most of the time. they are carismatic and attract women easily but are not quick to state what they want, seems you need to be the one to express your feelings first and see if he wants to talk out the decision that needs to be made...if not then you have your answer, they make decisions with certainity...

  • Scorpigal: my advice is this...if you have been with Gary for all that time and don't want to marry him, you should move on. You shouldn't stay with someone because it's convenient or because "he is a nice guy". Believe me, I know, I have separated from my husband of 5 years because I wanted to find that person that I would have a real connection with. It's always scary but those hard things always are. And I have never looked back because I know I did the right thing. And now it seems I have met someone with whom I have an amazing connection...a cancer guy 😉 Funny how the world works.

    Regardless of what happens with your cancer guy you need to deal with your relationship first. If you are cheating, it means you are not happy and probably never will be. Do the right thing by everyone and in time you will feel better again.

  • Thank you both for your words of wisdom! You are right Catthompson, I should leave Gary and move on with my life. My relationship with Gary is really not bad at all. I guess im just looking for something more...a deeper connection mentally and emotionally, something that I share with Jay. Gary and I make a great team together and accomplish almost all goals we set for eachother as ONE. He is my bestfriend....but we lack intimacy and thats the only problem we really have. To me intimacy is KEY when it comes to relationships. If we dont have that, then whats left..... just a friendship? I need and want more.

  • I suspect that your Cancer has a greater respect for your relationship than you do...I would. That barrier keeps him from acting, probably. And it can be because Cancer covets security and wouldn't want someone else trying to take theirs.

    Your comments on intimacy are exactly the same arguments I've been making to my wife recently. Your BF is perhaps an air sign? Can't squeeze blood from a turnip...

  • Hi, You cheated on Gary because of the chemistry w/Jay. Jay was w/someone and so were you. Reading between the lines and the feeling I have is that Jay never really connected. A lot of guys are not going to turn it down. Just doesn't mean it's love. You never mentioned why you are hesitant about marrying Gary. A lot of guys will move on if you can't decide. My advice would be to have pre-marital discussions at your church. Maybe you need to explore the spiritual side of Gary's love (and yours.) I think it would be good for both of you. In the Catholic Church, you do this for about 6 months. Are ya'll members of a church.

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