How do I win back my Taurus Woman?
I few days ago me and my girlfriend had a big fight and we ended up breaking up. She is a Taurus and I'm an Aquarius. The more I tried to reason with her, the more upset she became. I believe that I used a lot of patience in the conversation, and tried very hard to come to a good terms with her and understanding, but she wouldn't budge. Instead she accused me of attacking her and blaming the argument on her.
We have both been married in the past, her ex cheated on her and basically wants nothing to do with their two year old daughter. I on the other hand love spending time with them both. We'll go to the park and zoo together, and I have a wonderful time. I can definitely see a future with this woman, who I am just crazy in love with. I have never loved another like I love her.
What I feel for her is so strong, that I've posted on this site, seeking help. No offense to anyone here, because I do desperately want your advice, but to be honest I am not a big believer in Astrology. But she seems to be. We had a great time once, reading about each others astrological signs, and it proved to be a very fum experience, and extremely accurate if I might add.
Anyway, the point is this. I was not looking for love when I met her. Nor was she. She is still in the divorce process, and at the time I met her, she was not interested at all in starting up a relationship with anyone because she was afraid that it may be used against her in court. I am working on obtaining my goals and my career, and did not want to be distracted by "Love". None the less, we fell crazy in love with one another. By our second date, we were very close to making love. But I stopped. I stopped because in the past, I have moved very fast with woman, and although those types of relationships make for a very fun and passionate start, for me, they've always ended rather fast and hard. The candle the burns the brightest burns the fastest. But this time, I wanted to do it right! So I purposely held back sex, until we both just couldn't take it anymore.
Since then, we've been dating and it has been wonderful. We make each other very happy. I make her laugh a lot, and we brings out the best in me. She turns me into a romantic which is good because she loves that kind of thing. She has confessed to me that in her past relationships, even when she was married, she found it difficult to express her emotions, and to even say I love you. She said that she rarely said those words in the past, even when married. This was true in the beginning of our relationship, and I was cool with it, I knew she loved me. She let me around her daughter, which was a big deal to her and to me. But then she told me she did love me and continued to tell one another how we felt. She also told me that I made her feel like she could be exactly who she was, and did not have to hide herself in front of me.
I see a future with this woman, I know that she also saw one. Or did or does, or isn't sure anymore. Mainly because I pissed her off really, really bad, and I guess I've placed some doubt about us in her mind. I've learned not to say this to her directly now, but she does place a lot of preconditions in our relationship. It's her way or else! I told her that I didn't like, because I have no say or power in our relationship. I wasn't going to be kissing her ass, and taking this kind of disrespect from her. We were both stubborn and willful and now I'm afraid I may have lost her. She claims I insulting her (her ego perhaps) and thinks that I was accusing her of being controlling, demanding, and of throwing a temper tantrum and behaving in an immature way. I was trying to communicate to her, and make her see, that we both had to take responsibility for our part in the fight, and it was up to us individually to calm down, so that we wouldn't be angry or upset anymore. But I seemed to have failed in that task.
Anyway I felt disrespected and so did she. This argument took place at her house, her territory, and basically had the authority to ask me to leave. She said she need to be alone, and that I couldn't stay. So ok I left, but I didn't want to, I wanted to stay and fix the problem. The next day the fight got even worse over the phone and we ended up breaking up. But I immediately regretted that outcome, and now I'm trying very hard to win her back, When I see her, I see so many possibilities. I see greatness. I love her. The thought of not being able to hold her in my arms, as we both fall asleep together, and the last thing I breath in before my dreams take me, is the smell of her hair. The thought of not being able to do that anymore is unbearable. And it fills a deep heavy empty space in my chest, that weighs me down, and wont let me sleep.
I apologize if I've made this story way to long, so I'll end the story here. For more specific details on what happened and who we both are as people, feel free to ask me any question. Please help me win my Taurus Girl back. Thank you
This is us.
This is us.
Cute pictures....How long have you been together?
I'm a Taurus (Guy).
I think that you need to give her some space. The more you try and coddle her the more its going to look like you’re a punk...no offense. If you really feel like she's demanding you need to tell her that and stand your ground. We Taurus can be a bit much when people tell us about ourselves, but speaking from experience what we tend to do is self-reflect and then get back to you. What you’re not doing is allowing her to self-reflect so it looks like your trying to persuade her without giving her time to persuade herself....
Give her some space. What I love is when someone writes me a letter. It’s something that I can read over and over again. Analyze, and pounder, and then gather my thoughts and reply too. We Taurus aren’t the best at verbal communications so this might be the best way of reaching her.
And remember always lead with what you love and follow with what you think she can change. And dont pussy foot around it tell her straight up, and then tell her that you’re going to be there for her no matter what because you want to make it work.
She's stubborn I'm sure, but you can tell that she loves you just by the pictures.
Also...remember that the bars that she holds for you are not even as high as she holds for herself. She see's something in you that you might not see, but she's hard on you because she wants you to be a better person.
Hope this helps
Aqua have u ever cheated on her??? I don't know rather u mention this or not.
Thank you ConfusingCancer, and yes you're advice does help. You're giving a point of view from the mind of a Taurus, and that is a huge deal for me, because I'm discovering that it's very difficult for me to communicate with one.
Since the last time she and I wrote each other, I haven't been communicating with her dirrectly, but rather sending her poetry I just wrote for her, and things like that. I'm basically trying to say to he what you wrote above, without smothering her and or bombarding her with phone calls. I just want to let her know I wont just give up, and walk away so easily, because she means so much to me, and she's worth me fighting for. I'm an artist, and today I plan on making her drawing that only she will get, and it demonstrates how much I think of her.
No Sweetie1248, I did not cheat on her, nor do I have the desire to ever cheat. I mentioned that she is going though a divorce right now, and that the reason for her wanting to end her marriage was because her ex was cheating.
I am a very loyal, honest and one woman kind of man. Basically we both just wouldn't budge in an argument that we had. She seemed very illogical to me, and the more I tried to calm her down, the more it seemed to infuriate her. Until we both decided to end it. But I immediately regretted that decision. No she's hurt and says she's lost that feeling of security she had with me. But I wont just give up without a fight. She means so much to me. I'm just not sure what the best approach in winning her back is, since it's incredibly difficult for me to communicate with her.
Your a good guy...We Bull eat that mushy goushy stuff up!! Keep doing what your doing and you'll wear her down...trust me.
Its good that your not a runner...she might just be testing you to see if you will be there as much as you say you will. We are a sign of action not words.
I wish you the best. Hope everything works out.
Hope this helps.
"What I love is when someone writes me a letter. It’s something that I can read over and over again. Analyze, and pounder, and then gather my thoughts and reply too." (Posted by Confusing Cancer)
I am a Taurus woman. Yes, this is 100% accurate.
Never rush or push us into anything.
When a man writes me a letter.
It's like a gift from God.
It gives me time to decipher his words without over-projecting ( yes we can be cautious, guarded, and constantly questioning your motives).
It also gives me an opportunity to absorb what he's telling me...ponder and gather my thoughts.
When I'm being pushed into making a decision, or something gets thrown at me the last minute, then I tend to pull away...or state something to throw him off. We can be horrific communicators, too. Well, at least I am.
But when I gather strength, (more introspective) after some alone time...I can be very articulate, soft, sweet, calm and understanding when approaching the subject.
TaurusFemmeFatale - Its so crazy how all of us think along the same lines. That at the CORE we all seem to like and go for the same thing.
Thank you TaurusFemmeFatale for that great advice. I stumbled on something similar by accident. Some nights ago, I couldn't sleep, and my mind was getting on the deep poetic side. So I wrote her a poem. She seemed to like it, because it opened up dialog between us. She will never tell me directly that she likes something I did, but I could tell I hit a good spot. Taurus women are by far the most interesting I've ever meet. But also the most challenging. I'm going to take up your advice and write her a letter. Thank you.
UPDATE: IT WORKED!
Thank you very much, for those that took the time to read my story and send me great advice. I didn't pressure her, I let her come to me, but I showed her indirectly how much she means to me, and I didn't give up on our love.
I'll tell you though, I had to face some pretty bad heartache for a week. My advantage was that so was she.
I have to admit something here though. I think that movie "The Vow", may have had something to do with helping your heart swing back my way. We talked on the phone after she had gone to see it, and he had a nice conversation.
I hope that somehow helps the next dude, this might happen to. Again thank you all, I'm sending you my enormous gratitude, and may you all be happy in your lives.
Good luck AquaViento,
Very serious word of advice to you... Do not ever ever EVER cheat on a Taurus Woman! The stubborn Taurus does not play when it comes to that. If you do, you will never get her back. NEVER. Don't even make her THINK you have cheated. Don't even tell a funny JOKE about cheating! If you two hear about someone else cheating, you need to show contempt for that person who cheated. That's the number one thing you need to know about a Taurus woman if you know nothing else at all!
ur story sounds a lot like mine.and it inspries a lot that u have won over her heart at last.I am an aquarian and my girl friend for 7 years is a taurus.shes the first love in my life and i have never cheated on her.i have been eager to marry her as soon as possible,but it got delayed due to various extrenal reasons.i am 34 now.things were finally looking good and we were planning to get married in sept .then suddenly everything ends.we used to have arguements and fights over little things and once of them happened on 3rd march and i said i am leaving her.normally this happens and we patch up in another 30 mins.but this time it dint happen.since the next day i have been trying to call her and she says she has had enough and have moved on.she says she has lot all feelings for me.since then i have been calling her and begging and crying,but all this is only taking her further away from me.i know crying and begging are the last things that shd have been done ,but i couldnt help it.i feel emotional everytime i think of losing her and i edn up crying.it been almost 45 days now and shes still adamant that she dont want to come back.her reason for that is that she says i had been controlling and restricting her all the time,and that i have been very possesive and jealous.and its the truth too.i had been so worried about losing her that i tried to keep holding her so tight.i dint realise its suffocating her.i am not able to move on.i am ready to fight and do whatever needed to win her back..pls advice how i can win her heart back
Hi Renjith, first of all, let me just say that years ago, I was married once. Not to a Taurus but to an Aries. I am in the US Army Reserves, and during that marriage, I was deployed overseas for a year. During that time period, I behaved a lot like how you described, and eventually my marriage ended. It was the most emotional pain, I had ever experienced. I fought for her but I lost.
When I returned back to the states I moved to Las Vegas for a few months. One of my child hood friends, hd asked me to go visit hum when I returned from my deployment. He tried to cheer me up during the 2 months I was there. I tried to bury may pain with booze Then something tragic happened. Me and my friend got into a car accident. I was tossed out the passenger window, out high speeds. But I was lucky because at least I survived.
For the next year, I carried the pain of heart break and the pain of guilt. My friend fell asleep at the wheel and I couldn't do anything to save him. During that year, I did a lot of crazy shit. I got into a lot of bar fights. The physical pain was nothing compared to the internal and emotional pain I was feeling. I because very destructive. I traveled around like a wanderer. Met a lot of people and had a lot of experiences along the way. One night, I finally broke down. I was in such shock that I couldn't even cry for a whole year. I hated myself. I started talking to my dead friend looking at the night sky. Saying that it should have been me. I lived and all I'm doing is wasting my life! That's when it hit me. So I decided then, that I would clean up my act, get my shit together, and go after the things in life that truly mattered.
The point I'm trying to make is that, sometimes we go through really tough pain in life, that at the time, we can't understand. It makes us crazy an obsessive. You wish you could just push a button and make the pain disappear, because its so intense. I'm sure to you, the pain you feel now, resembles that of one when some one close to you dies.
Times passed and I've fallen in love again. I am currently working on goals and dreams and every day I get much closer in accomplishing them all. I became a more mature person because of those two experiences I went through. They were very painful, and not very easy to go through, but I have used those two events to transform myself into a better man.
I just wanted to tell you that little bit above first so that you know I completely understand what you are feeling right now. And also to let you know that if for some reason it doesn't work out with your woman, that there is a light at the end of that tunnel, albeit you're going to have to fight to get there. But you will get there.
Ok, and now for my advice. I'm not a doctor, I'm just speaking through my own life experiences. Most of the jealous and controlling behavior one feels has nothing to do with their actual partners. It deals with insecurities one carries with them. Also they project a lot of their negative feelings onto others. Your girl probably saw these insecurities in you, and was but off by them,
When I was overseas, I acted this way a lot, because the military is a very controlling environment, and most people I knew over there were either cheating on their spouses, and were being cheated on. I let the controlling aspect of the military dictate my behavior. I was young and did not posses the maturity or wisdom I posses now, and that ultimately effected my relationship with my ex-wife.
You need to find a way to control those feelings you have. It is not very manly to a woman, when I guy acts as if though, any guy can walk up to your woman and seduce her away from you. A secure man doesn't fear that, because he knows "He's the Shit" sort of speak. This kind of attitude is what women like in a man. Begging is not a manly characteristic and will not help you. It will drive her away even more, so stop doing this immediately.
The thing to do now, is make her come to you. In my experience, most woman, want their man to do something great to win them over again. Even though she has said its over (and she may actually mean it) she still probably has very strong feelings for you. But she's probably tired of the fighting. She's afraid that this will be her life. Controlled by a jealous man. That does not make her feel safe or secure with you, and despite how much she may love you, she will not come back to you. Your job as a man is to make her feel safe and protected. She needs to feel like she can be herself around you. That you wont judge her, where other snobby friends she has may have. That you will love her fragile, dorky, nerdy and weird side, as much as you will love her strong, independent, intelligent, creative, and other unique sides she may have.
So start doing that. You can accomplish this focusing on those areas. Write her a letter, or poem or poetic letter, describing some of those attributes. Think Bob Dylan. Don't say "You have really pretty blue eyes and I like looking at them". Say something like "I see you opening me up those doors, you invite me in and I peak inside. There it's like starring right into the sky, and infinity looks back with that young soul inside". Get it? That's just an example. Or instead of reminding her about the time you two took that long walk on the beach, describe to her how you felt! Describe the sand in beneath your feet, the smell of the ocean air, and the taste of her warm lips. Describe the colors you saw when her kiss made you feel truly alive.
Do all of these type of things INDIRECTLY. Do not CHASE her. You have to let her come to you. So you have to be patient. NO BEGGING OR CRYING ANYMORE! I understand your pain my friend, I do. But you have to be strong on this one. Think guerrilla war fair. Send her flowers, sing her songs, but do it all indirectly. You may have to go through some humiliation. It sucks, but that's the price you may have to pay.
She's rooting for you, even if she may not realize it. So go get her! Make her realize that you can change, and that a life with you will be a happy and amazing life!
Make her feel safe and secure, and show her you are a real man. One who is in control of his emotions. To learn control you have to do the opposite of what you feel. For example if you feel afraid of something, the way you overcome that fear is by doing that thing that makes you afraid, thus becoming courageous in the act gaining confidence in the process. Get it?
Your job now is to figure out how to do it, so get creative. Remember, focus on her uniqueness. Show her how much you love all of her sides. Even when she acts grumpy, or mean. Tell her its because she's sensitive inside and that's how she protects herself. But because you love her, you can see pass that, You can see her true self, and its the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
Good luck my friend, I truly empathize with you, and wish you nothing but he best. I would not have taken the time to respond with this, if I did not.
Take care, and again, good luck!
Thanks for the advice WiseSagittarius, but don't worry, I'm not a cheater, and would never dream of cheating on my woman. You are right though, for Taurus woman, that is a HUGE DEAL. My girl knows I would never do that, but she is always paranoid about it. I know not to joke around about it, because even if she asks in a joking way, part of your mind, is actually looking to see how I will respond. If the answer doesn't sit well with her, holy shit, watch out!
She's very sensitive about the topic of cheating. I have never gave her any reasons to suspect me of cheating, and she knows I would never cheat. But still, Taurus woman are paranoid when it comes to this topic.
Listen to Confusing ... He is very enlightening when it comes to Taurus'. You can read my threads and Confusing's responses. I broke up with my Taurus bf last October. I wish I knew more about their characteristics before the breakup but I also think, things happen for a reason. Confusing is right ... Taurus' need time and I mean time to reflect on what went wrong, what needs to be done and what the outcome should be. If you don't give them this time, then they will drop you like a hot potato.
I'm still in good standing with my ex ... he continues to text me talk to me on google chat and even said we need to get together for dinner this week. I don't press him ... I just go with the flow. I am a little insecure about the dinner thing though. My insecurities are telling me he wants to tell me he's dating someone else or he wants to date and doesn't want it to upset me. One the other hand, he might just want to hang and have a good time together. I am hoping it's the later! This past week, he's been very positive with his text's, so that's a good sign.
Just remember with the Taurus ... they are very methodical and they will take their sweet time to see if their is any possibility for a future with you.