Confused about my cancer ex

  • Im a sagittarius girl who is confused with my cancer ex. I broke up with him because I text harsh words to him because he is too busy in their house. But I just broke up with him because I used to threaten him and he would come back but this time he didnt. After a less than a week I realized how important he is to me, taking care of me all the time. (Despite our argues because he is very jealous with the guys I talk with and not telling it to me). So I proved to him that we deserve a 2nd chance, so we started again but the cancer man begans to fall off. He's not that sweet, caring, more time for ipad, etc. Its like we switch places. Im the one who became needy, loving etc. we agreed on no contact, but he will text me after a day.. so i will reply just to remind him that im here all the time. he says he loves me but not putting it into action.. until on the 2nd month of our new relationship.. i fell like im broken off.. knowing that my ex is not really like this unemotional.. he ask me to help him to go back to who he was.. im helping him but he's not helping himself.. its just tearing me apart so i offered him as friends... he told me the only reason why he's coming back to me because he dont like me to disappear in his life.. and then sooner or later.. we had no contact... after four days.. we texted.. its like civil.. and he said he still loves me and i said i love him too.. but after 2 days.. he said.. he doesn't want a relationship for now.. he's happy with his life and he dont love me anymore.. i became needy.. i ask if its true.. he said yes... from then on.. we had no contact.. and then he post status on facebook"its hard to show that i care, because i don't" everyone could see it except me because we're still friends on fb. but when i posted a picture that i got bruise.. he told me to take care of myself. but after that when i message him on facebook.. its civil.. sometimes i get a reply.. and then he shuts me off. i know he still angry with me but he said not anymore and already forgave me. i dont know

    i added him on my new account and he accepted it.. please help me. i honestly love this cancer guy.

  • He also said that I should not be sad because there's are alot to happen in the future. its like he came back to what he was when we first brokeup (Really). but this time.. he ask me to understand him. and he doesn't love me anymore. but why? after 2 days? or LOL.

    And he also admit (earlier on our 2nd chance relationship) that when he gave us a chance, its out of pity. but he cried that day (the day that he gave us 2nd chance) and he said to me that all he needs is to see and cry infront of me.

    and when I reminded him of his promise that he will never make me cry.. he just told me to stop saying things.. it just pisses him off and when i updated my fb status. he think its all about him.

    I decided to give what he wants.. to be happy without me because i promised to his father that whatever his decision would be. i respect it.

    but i cant read his mind. i hate mind reading games.

    I have good relationships with his father and sister and mother currently. except him. he ignores me and it seems very angry to me because he is not friendly when we are chatting

  • he doesnt believe in astrological signs.

    he is mars in leo and venus in leo (Cancer)

    and i am venus in capricorn mars in scorpio (Sagittarius)

  • please help me thank you.

  • OMG, not another thread about cancer males. Geeze!!

  • Hahahahah that's because they mess with people...should just assume they are going to with you head from the beginning, then there won't be such shock.

  • I'm a Cancer female and I hope I can help offer you some insight into a Cancer mind. Doeyedpisces is right- We do like to mess with people. Although, sometimes we really don't know we are doing it. Cancer likes to push the envelope in some social situations.

    A Cancer can come off quite easily as a b*h or dk. That's because we know what we like and what we don't like. It takes Cancer a long time to open up. We have a wall up when we first meet people and it takes a lot of time and patience for that wall to come down. We are only protecting our vulnerability. Because of this wall, we come off as indifferent and uncaring/unsympathetic when in reality we care deeply about a lot of things.

    When a Cancer decides to be in a relationship, they let you into their world. They are trusting you with 100% of their emotions. In sounds like you guys had a rocky beginning to your relationship. Sending a Cancer harsh texts messages is not the way to go about fixing things. He came back around because Cancer's like to give people second chances. However, don't expect this next time around for him to act the way he did before. Trust is EVERYTHING to us. You have broken his trust which is why he is acting standoffish. It may take him a very long time to get over what happened and decide to trust you again. All you can do in the meantime is keep giving him reasons why he can trust you and it will slowly build back up to where it was before. I do mean SLOWLY build. You have to decide if that's something you want to wait for. Again, there is no guarantee that things will ever be the same.

    At this point, as a Cancer, I would say your best bet is that you will be friends with occassional hook ups that serve to satisfy needs as opposed to him desiring you. But, I am a Cancer female...that's what I do. A Cancer male is similar to a Cancer female but I do not know how they are in relationships because I haven't been with a Cancer male.

  • Thank you. But I think I should give him more time to heal. When we are texting, its like he's talking to a person who he is angry with. Well he admitted it that he hates everything about me before. He also ignores me sometimes. So I dont really know what to do. Being a Sagittarius, I always make friends with my ex. But I think this one would be tough!

    Thanks to the advice!

  • Well, your story is a carbon copy of mine, down to the signs and planets that you are describing, amazing! I lost my Cancer guy, I now see, after a year and a half, that I did put pressure on him. He says he put pressure on himself. In any case I had the same result, he never reached out again and to this day I am sometimes in touch with his children, family and friends, but not him. He always behaved like I had offended him when in fact he is the one who hurt me and didn't even have the class to end things properly. He promised the world to me, made plans for the future, cried, etc all of that too and the last I heard from him he said he loved me, then he just vanished!!

    I feel a lot of attraction for Cancer. I was married to another Cancer for years. They are a difficult, moody sign. They need their isolation and they want you to read their minds. They are super needy but if actually reassure them they become boisterous. I still miss my Cancer, he also made that promise of never causing me pain. He had hard times and so did I, but I pulled through and stayed loyal, he didn't. And that to me says a lot about someone...People think that us Saggies are so independent that we do not get hurt. That is not true. When we fall in love, we fall hard and even though we are a sunny sign and "happy go lucky", some people can really break our hearts because we can be loyal even years after the fact.

    I think if you can stay friends that is a good thing, but if the friendship is one sided stop!!. You are not going to convince him. He has to think and get to the conclusion that he misses you on his own. Very likely he is depressed and possibly unhappy about other things that have nothing to do with you. Be well and have peace. Take a deep breath.

  • Thank you. He also made that clear to me when we were together that If he leaves, he doesn't come back. But the last time he left me, he just told me that there are more things to happen so I shouldn't be sad.

    I dont know. Its just like Im very confused. Its like I have my emotions too, not just only you. What about me? LOL.

    Thank you.

  • My situation is same like yours ..on and off and often i like to give off harsh text like breaking off for hundred times that really pissed off my cancer male and he left standoffish for half a yr and then went dating an international woman.

    He ever texted me : I don't like you

    : I am not happy to be with you

    : You never listen

    Then went disappeared no response.

    Months later booked flight ticket flew else where instead of seeing me. After so been thr the turbulent period and also i saw his date etc ..he slept wif her etc ..

    finally i able to get myself to forgive him when he texted that he wanted me back ..

    now he back to caring phrase and constanltly afraid of that i might dump him for his wrong doings.. well i have soft spot for him therefore i cant bear to dump him anymore ...

    now i take care of him and he let me into his life again..

    occasionally i would asked him why he treated me like shit in the months and he told me he has no idea why he shut off from me.

  • THat last couple of months , he was also busy renovating his house and at the same time busy with his work and claiming no time for me.. i believed he is always intentionally avoiding me like plague .

    wHen a cancer male is truly busy for he can't mulittasking and he will not hesitate to jeopardize the relationship at this point of time.He would find the relationship is far too much him to handle and would just drop off.. well its need time for him to realise if he still in love with you ,naturally he would be back on shore .. seeking for you.

  • THat last couple of months , he was also busy renovating his house and at the same time busy with his work and claiming no time for me.. i believed he is always intentionally avoiding me like plague .

    wHen a cancer male is truly busy for he can't mulittasking and he will not hesitate to jeopardize the relationship at this point of time.He seem to find the relationship is far too much him to handle and would just drop off without hesitant.. well its need time for him built up thay trust again and be back on shore seeking for you.

  • Thanks Vircheery, Can I ask a question. Did you not message him in that last couple of months? I mean you just let him by himself? What did u reply on his messages like he dont like u? etc?

  • That time i was quite angry and desperated as he rejected my calls after he sent me this ..

    like a typical cancer cannot face emotional confronation. So i decided on no contact and always let him do the texting first ..

  • Oh ok. I think my mistake only I was like very kind and respectful to him after he left me. LOL.

    Thank you and I think I should do that too.. the no contact. thanks.

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