Back again with Taurus Man...lol
Hi everyone, I am not sure if you remember me. Here's the backstory, met a Taurus on FB, we have mutual friends and live in different countries. We have been friends for over 2 years now and although there is lots of attraction, we can't seem to get in the same city, far less country.
We both accepted that and seemed to be okay. In Feb. we finally made plans to be on the same island and two weeks before he had to pull out because of money. That seemed to be very hard for him to admit but I don't put pressure on people when it comes to their financial situations so I thought I had accepted it well and acted accordingly despite the disappointment.
WELL, Maybe I subconciously had a problem with it because we had one MASSIVE fight not long after. Yes, swear words were involved on my part Frustration and insecurity won out. He contacted me after but I was cold as I had to simmer down. Four weeks ago, I sent him an email apologizing profusely and basically saying what's the deal, are you in or out. I received no response.
After a week, he wrote me out of the blue and said sorry for not responding yet to my email and just basically checked in to see how I was. I was light hearted in response. I wrote him a light bbm about a week later, no response and last Friday I wrote him again. He responded immediately but then I couldn't talk, told him that and a few hours later, wrote him properly. No response.
What's going on here? Did I massively blow it?? He is April 25, 1972 and I am May 24, 1971. I wish that he would give a definitive answer on yes or no to the romance bit. I honestly think he is a good friend and if that's all there is now, why not say so? Taurus men are confusing and I guess, I'm just looking for some advice.
We Taurus are logical thinkers some time when it comes to love...sometimes...I can be very Disney at times but thats only when I find the right person to get all crazy for.
I think where you F-up'd at is not being nice to him the first time he wrote you. I for one hate to argue, but its a part of a relationship. Without struggle there is progression and its best to hash it out then to sit and wollow in self pity, or over the actions or emotions of another. I think what you should have done is just give him some sweet words and move on from the sitution but you didnt...you seem like you want to fight, and it might just be because your frustrated at the sitution that you both are in. If this is the case TELL HIM. Be upfront with him, tell him that you want to put all the disagreements out on the table and then burry the hatchet and NEVER talk about them again....
Then you need to give him some time to get over the sitatuion and move forward. How much time? I cant tell you...but I can say that I sense that he needs time to just give over everything. To plan a trip and argue the whole time is bad, but to be broke and plan a trip and argue the whole time is worse....you need to point out the things that are going good in your relationship and not harp on the things that might not be to your liking. Take this time apart from one another to work on your communication and your temper. Talk to him, admit your faults, say what your going to do and what you exspect from him, make a plan for the future and DO IT.
It my personal exsperience (from being in the Navy) that long distance relationships dont work out...so find a way to get in the same place or move on because it seems like the sitution is costing you not only your lover but your friend as well.
hope this helped.
Yeah, I think that's when I messed up too. It wasn't that I wasn't nice, he paid me a really nice complement and I just said thanks. But, since then, I feel like I have been crawling thru mud to get back to where we were.
To be clear, when I apologized I said I acted like that because of my feelings of insecurity and gave him some examples asking him to put on my shoes a bit. I told him I just needed him to let me know if this was something he wanted. When he couldn't come on the trip, he never said he was disappointed or anything. That made me feel like he didn't care.
In any case, I am now trying to touch base even though he is not instigating anything. I feel that I have hurt his feelings so I contacted him three times (once a week) no pressure, just to say hi and let him know that I am thinking of him. The first time, he didn't respond. The second time he did and now, let's see what happens with the third. I hope I am not pushing too hard and if he was just done with me, he would say, I don't want you anymore.
You have helped. I find you clear, logical and you just seem to get to the heart of the matter. Thank you. One more question, if he wanted to be done with me, would he tell me? Would you if you were he? My only fear is that he thinks I am a pain but I guess if someone could think that after so long, they have issues that I just can't contend with. Your thoughts?
Yea...I would tell you. It takes a lot for me to get into a relationship with someone and even more for me to actually leave one. The longer I'm with the person the harder it is to walk away (even when I know its for good). I personally would tell you, but I would give US chances to get it right before I just bailed.
He might not think your in "Pain" but he might just think you need to cool down, and he might need time to do that as well. Let me just give you a head up we Taurus INVENTED the cold shoulder....I once had to live with an Ex (Libra) and it use to drive him nuts the fact that I could walk into a room and act as though he was not even there. Cook in the kitchen with him doin the dishes and act as though he was a complete GHOST. Its the determination that we have, its almost like when we set our minds to not talk to someone...we dont talk to that person until we know that they are sorry, or we get over it.
So he might be doing that...and if he is just know, and roll with the punches cause its not anything you can do/say thats going to make him want to walk to you. He's going to have to get over it in his own time.
Hope this helps.
Thanks CC. I guess the answer is always time.
I am a Gemini, but I have Venus in Taurus and am on the Taurus cusp. I am deliberate and usually collected. So I am not flighty and take people's feelings quite seriously. I am getting the cold shoulder and boy, you guys really have it on lock! He is not rude but just making sure I know that I am not a priority anymore. It feels horrible. I will take your advice. I sent a message yesterday just to say he must be busy and hope all is well. No pressure at all. Waiting is the hardest for me because I am not a stone. I will try and roll with the punches and hope that he will remember that we had a really fantastic friendship. But I think it's on him now and I will let him contact me.
It would be nice if he would say it's over and just delete me entirely because that makes me think that maybe he will come back. I hope he is not cruel like that and the friend I had would NEVER do that but then again, I never thought a fight would make us come to this. What do you think about that? Isn't Taurus decisive when you walk away? That's what makes me feel like time is the answer.
You have helped me tremendously because as I sure you can tell, this is really hard. Thanks again and I am sending you my most positive vibes!
Crap CC, ignore my question. You answered already... See how turned around I am by this situation...geez!
Give him space. Stop writting him. back off completely. I know this might be hard but its really for the best. Your not giving him time to process...he needs that time.
CC, he wrote me back! So far 2 for 2. It was good because he explained the distance. I think that we are going to be okay but I am keeping all you said in mind. I knew that a quarrel could not break this friendship like that...