Cancer men... I'm so confused!

  • Actually K...

    Not that young anymore... but youthful.. 50th Bday last month!... Have been in two committed relationships in life... one lasted 10 years with a guy born on the same day as me... different time, thank goodness... and when that ended, I was left totally drained and not even looking for anyone to speak to much less relate to. Before that relationship, I was able to come and go, be here and there... alone, or with friends... and totally be myself... It's almost like my personality was sucked out of me... and I could no longer go back to being a single person... But .. time has passed and I am over that, and willing to exrend myself... only I don't find many interested or worthy... Glad that I am self-sufficient again... And I'm gonna' really enjoy being by myself in a crowd... 'Cause if you can't do that, you really can't be with anyone either... learned that..He Who Moves Swiftest.. Moves Alone! But when I feel like some company... I hope I'll be able to find some... hope I will wan t some company again soon....

  • what do you mean? Please explain!! I am virgo and fall in love with a cancerian man. I met him two years ago. We are now on and off as he created very confusing situation!!

  • What is the confusing situation...... ??

    For July 4th baby,

    Let's consider that we all humans on earth,

    each one has their path whenther it is to guide another or to heal another or to be there for that time of need.... We sometimes don;t even know why some people come & go in our lives..

    We all meant to be here for a purpose/reason..

    .. for lessons for learning & for helping, whether it be long term or short term relations.... whether the relationships be long term in marriage or short......

    Please, Let us worry or Stress these relationships as Failures.. Because they are NOT Failues...

    Please,understand, that we are all evolving, changing, whether we be the GF's or the BF's lover& partners, we will all face certain life's unimaginable changes.. Wether GOOD & NOT GOOD.... these are the lessons & challenges....

    keep the light bright....

    Because we are never Wrong in how we choose to live out our life

    The choices & the journey we make & discover are all a part of our own evolvement & enlightenment.....

    I hope this message has helped you some ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    please rid the Neg. energies..

    sending lots a pink healing light to where there is confusion & pain..


    mille feori (L)

  • Toto53 !! No, I do not live anywhere near you so we do not have to worry about dating the same man. lol


    So here I am reading all of these posts and feeling very low at the moment...

    My Cancer and I have been talking for 2 weeks since my last post I think. He got me all excited by telling me he moved back to town. He wanted to hang out last weekend. I agreed, however I he couldn't seem to make definite plans with me. When I asked him what night he wanted to see me he couldnt seem to give me a straight answer. He Said "hopefully Sunday". That bothered Me, but I brushed it off. Saturday night I asked him again. Then he tries to tell me that he doesnt know yet... and his parents came to town. It sounded like a bunch of BS to me.

    So I basically took that as a no and made other plans... I was so angry that I didnt even care if I talked to him again... and I was not planning to. I hate waiting around for people. I do have a life to live and I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt.

    While I was out on Sun night, my cancer starts texting me and blowing up my phone asking me to come hang out with him. I told him no and I was already out.. He couldnt seem to take No as an answer. He wanted to come get me from the bar I was at with my friends. He starts calling me.. We ended up talking. I was a bit intoxicated and told him that I didnt want to see him because I'd end up getting my feelings hurt again. Somehow he turned it me being in love with him. I cant remember all the words said, but Thats what he thinks now. He told me that he didnt even know that he has that kind of affect on me... He tried to apologize and told me that he missed me loved me too jokingly. It made me angry so I told him that my song was on and I had to go dance to it and hung up on him, then went back into the bar ..He once again started blowing up my phone with insults because I hung up on him. Nice to see some emotion for once.. lol

    After the bar closed I called him back and he came and got me... We spent the night together and now here I am.. feeling hurt again. We parted on a good note... and he contacted me afterwards, but I still feel bad. Its been 4 days and he seems to have vanished.

    After all this, I don't think I can do it anymore. These Cancer men seem like they are all the same!! My psychic told me that he needs more than I am willing to give. Which is true... I do not like having to chase a man. I will never do that.. Its just do strange to me because I feel that I can see right through him, but he has such a hard exterior. Whats wrong with being Real with yourself?

    I know what we have is more than sex. I know it... I'm old enough to know and I'm not dellusional. I'm so over feeling like an idiot. I just think he's scared and doesn't know how to handle someone like myself. I cannot be confined and I think he knows that... Oh well! Sag and Cancer do not mesh well.. I will steer clear from now on.


    Ps. Is it just me, or do Cancer men seem to make their decisions based off of one of those magic 8 ball thingys?

  • hmmm could very well be just that.... 8 th ball..... BTW most spiritulaist rely & trust the metaphysical properties --Scopes & Cards & Psychic readings ---

    Maybe if he pays attentions, something good & pos/ will happen.....

  • Woh!! Great story.. thanks for sharing!! I really enjoy it.

  • Mstarx - thanks for sharing that story.

    I am in love with a cancer guy who has a girlfriend he can't leave. We have decided to be just friends but now I know I have to stop that too. It's hurting me too much. And if he ever does the right thing and I'm available, I will be with him willingly. But I will get on with my life because there is no other choice for me.

    They are a cautious bunch, cancer men. They retract into their shell's when they get hurt but appear aloof/moody etc to everyone else.

    Trust your own instincts's all you can do.

  • What I mean is after opening up and letting someone into my life so deeply for so long... and have that time end, I was less desirous of another such experience, and so had to re-teach myself how to be by myself.. with myself.. alone, and enjoy myself...

    Does your "other" have a rocky past? He might be doing that cancer avoidance thing... we do it soooo well. Sometimes TOO well!

    But we do get over it (most of us)!

    Also, just an interesting fact: Did you know that of all the signs using this site, that more of us are Cancerians than any other sign... but about 100,000? Says something for the intuitive need of cancerians... LOL

    Just a useless factoid rolling around in my head..LOL

  • I sit trying re-coop from yet another devastating blow from my Cancer. I think I'm still in shell shock walking around like a zombie trying to figure out how this man who isn't about hurt could take me this far and then do a complete 360 as though I have absolutely no emotions or feelings. I want to lash out but what would be the point..I simply couldn't hurt him the way he has hurt me. Good grief, we aren't children, we're seniors!

    So now I'm just regrouping myself trying manage the damage he has done to my heart and soul.


  • I agree with the other writer, it is a combination of things - not just that he is a Cancer man.

    I am a Sag rising and Cancer Sun myself (female) but I do understand alot of his characteristics. Cancer and Capricorn men are very possessive. Being polar opposites they actually have a lot in common. Your Cancer guy wants to know that you are only into him and no one else and have the green monster on their back all the time. They do need time alone - personal freedom is so important but once you get through the hard shell and into their underbellies you will find them nurturing, loving and romantic...sometimes it even comes out as mothering/smothering. My advice to you....tell him "exactly" what you wrote to us. Tell him what your expectations are and lay it out on the line. It really isn't in your nature not to and what do you have to lose? It doesn't appear to be working the other way. My Capricorn man is acting the very same way. Read the book "Men R From Mars, Women from Venus" and you will under stand the "cave man" symptoms. Good Luck.

  • I'm from my mother (rest her soul) daddy helped and the next time I get involved with a Crab, its going to be on my dinner plate with drawn butter and a Marquarita to wash it all down!

  • Well Gemtwin 52 I read this after I did your reading. I agree crab for dinner and washed down with Martguerita . If you want to see your reading go to it. I had such bad vibes about him I physically felt ill; and I don't know him at all. I usually like Cancers and it the Pisces who will show you what they think you want to see. He on the other hand was like a grifter and was trying to using you for money or so he thought. Thankfully you woke up and you didn't need my reading to do so.

  • Clearly the subject of Cancerian men has been an active topic. I couldn't resist the opportunity to chime in. First of all, let me give you my qualifications on knowing Cancerians. My mother is one; my brother is one; my late husband was one (WITH almost every house in VIRGO!!!!!!); my sister-in-law is one; one of my nieces is one AND my boyfriend is a Gemini/Crab. Thank God for the Gemini contribution.

    I truly DO NOT mean to offend any male crabs but...THEY ARE A NIGHTMARE!!!!!! I was married for 24 years to my Cancerian and wasn't really able to clearly see all of his secrets until well after he passed away. I loved him; it would've been so much easier if I hadn't. However, these men are rarely willing to risk their own feelings without yours being on display first. Even when you've confessed your undying love and devotion, it will not be believed and you will be tested everyday constantly to prove you mean it. If their feelings have been hurt, you will be the reason and you will be required to apologize. On top of that, your apology will not be accepted. From my own experience, I started out with very litle self-confidence at the age of 19, married at 21 and widowed at 44. I learned some really important things from my husband but the cost of learning them left me completely worn-out, so exhausted for years from the emotional, physical, mental and psychological abuse that I could barely function. There is a term I want to give you that I came up with when we were in counseling long ago (of course, he was only willing to do this because I needed to be fixed...). I told the two counselors that he was a 'psychological rapist'. It was true.

    The female Crabs need a lot of attention like their male counterparts but they are nurturing, loving and willing to sacrifice a great deal for those they love (without the martyrdom that the males have). Both are true believers that they do not get mad; they get even.

    The last possible combination that has a chance at success is any Air Sign with the Crab. Of course there will be exceptions (Ronald and Nancy Reagan, for example). The trick to making this combo work at all is for the Crab to be female and the Air Sign to be male. The only other trick I know of is that Aries folks and Leos seem to be able to handle the crustacean.

    If you feel crazy in this relationship, DON'T IGNORE IT!!!!! There's a reason you feel that way.

    Retain your self-respect, whoever you are and don't settle for anything less than what works for you. It's not selfish; it's wise.

    P.S. My Cusp boy doesn't have all of the above mentioned traits. I told him from the beginning that if he even remotely resembled what I've already dealt with, I'd beat him to death (it's a joke; I'd actually just leave it at being friends).

  • oldernwiser, then what should we do? I know we must be strong and not ignore the feelings. But how should we act upon it? My cancer was giving me the mental abuse and broke up with me very quickly, but I feel that was on my part for not picking up the signals and understanding them. I know he still has feelings for me and loves me, but I would like to know what to do.

  • Oldernwiser, My Cancer guy is causing me mental anguish and he doesn't really even do anything.. I always feel like I am saying or doing the wrong things, but I'm just being myself. He's so hot and cold with me. .. We're not even in a serious relationship.. In any other situation, I would lose all patience and just say to hell with this guy, but I CANNOT get over this one. I've tried everything!!! For some strange reason I knew I liked him immediately and from then on it's been an emotional roller coaster. The funny thing is that I do not have any problem meeting men at all, but I only want this guy. He makes me want to run away. Any advice? Should I continue to be miserable and patient? Or lay it all out on the table for this person and possibly get what I want? I don't think I will stop wanting him.

  • counseling for every individual sign, seems to be the wisest alternative method to regain the trust the love the communications & mostly the sanity of it all....

    what else is there that we can do to bring balance bliss & harmony to any relationship....Gay stright- or other wise.......

  • I have been in a relationship with a Cancer man for almost a year and we hit it off from day one. It was like an instant connection and he is very much affectionate and loving which I have not had in any other relationship. Also I have never had anyone trust me like he does. Other men I have dated didn't want me to go out with my friends, they thought I would meet someone else I guess, but he seems totally secure and confident. He is the only cancer that I have been in a relationship with and the only one that I knowingly have met. I think he is great and I tell him so, often. I am curious about anyone in this forum that has had a cancer/pisces relationship. I am 28 he is 35. Just wondering if these astrological signs together are really as easy as it seems. He doesn't really strike me as possessive, insecure or jealous and I would think that I would have seen this by now. I am really hoping for a response from a cancer that has been in a relationship with a pisces or vice versa. What's your take? It still seems too good to be true and it's been a year!!! The new has barely worn off!!! I can only hope that someone else has had good luck like I have and that he isn't going to show me a side I haven't seen.

    I can understand how cancer can be missunderstood, definately. I have seen a lot of replies to posts saying that patience is required and I can't agree more, I have believed from early in the relationship that if I didn't learn anything else from this relationship I would very much learn patience. It has seemed to come pretty easily to me and on occassion I do still have to remind myself of that, but again I think that it is because of the chemistry between us. UNBELIEVABLE..really!!! I get mixed signals from him still sometimes, depending on his mood I think, he's not easy to read. He has his days that he pours his heart out to me and then we go a couple of weeks without talking about how we feel at all. Both of us are home-bodies for the most part, and we pretty much live together, but we do enjoy going out once in a while, be it together or with our friends.

    Look forward to hearing from someone!

  • Star Jen, Hi There,

    Tho- i am cancer female, i can only speak for ME & how i react --to emotions in my (shell) and confrontations friendly or Not. .. & so on....

    I did read your post, & I felt good energy in your words & post & also that you seem willing & loving to be a part of your BF life ....

    but are you ready & prepared to live forever with our Crab..... 🙂

  • I can't say that is an option at this point, I don't know what will happen when he moves. He is military and will only be here for another two years, we will just have to see what happens I guess.

    You ask if I am ready and prepared like there is something to be feared here, lol. I sure hope that's not the case! I take everything day by day, and as a pisces- I am a dreamer. I can see us working together well in the relationship, but maybe he hasn't shown all his true colors? Again, I hope that's not the case! lol. I realize that we still have a lot to learn about each other, and I am pretty adaptable to new situations, I think that I could manage to deal with some of the said Cancer issues as long as he still treats me the way he does now, he's very respectful to me and of my feelings. It's funny too because last night after he got home we had a talk that indicated to me the possibility of him being possessive/jealous. Long story short- my neighbor flirts with me and it's usually in a humorous manner, I tell the BF about it when it happens because we are very open with each other, he's never shown any ill attitude about it, but last night he hinted around that he wanted me to put a stop to it. Hint taken, will do. I have a lot of respect for him and absolutely adore him. If something is bothering him that is in my power to change, I am all over it!

  • Hmmm you mentioned Military, would his work be of any relations to Iraq/ Afhgan --

    i dunno... but of late our soliders are becoming seriously ill... they are told it's from air born bacteria....... hmmmm i ain't buying it....

    i hope your BF is not effected by what is going on overseas.... may he return home to stay...

    Anyways.. let's get back to JEALOUSY

    Errrrrrr... any form of Jealousy between two ppl. is not okay...

    understanding will never work out .. NOPE SORRY

    wether the neighbor was flirty or not.... your BF should NOT have taken it the wrong way

    or for that matter say anything about it...

    because nothing happened & you would not allow that to happen RIGHT..

    afterall ..he should know you ... Am I Right....

    I can not accept any kind of suspicion where esp... when there is nothing to suspect.....


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