Cancer men... I'm so confused!

  • I'm a Sag . I usually date other Fires like myself. I've recently took interest in this Cancer guy... I've never dated one before. I know we are not supposed to be compatible, but I am so attracted to him. We have really strong chemistry... Its weird.

    Long story short:

    Him and I met about a month ago. We agreed on having a "casual relationship". I just came out of a bad 5 year relationship and he claims he isn't ready for commitment. So it seemed like a good idea. I had no intentions of taking it further. After going out the first night, I realized that I really liked this guy for some reason. I barely knew him. I tried to fight it, but my feelings were so intense I couldn't. Its something I've never experienced with anyone...

    I know this guy is seriously attracted to me and likes me to a certain extend. I can tell by the way he looks at me and the passion we have between us. He had to go away for a few weeks... The night before he left he was telling me not to see anyone else while he was gone. The first few days he was gone he didnt contact me. I was bummed, but I knew better than to expect anything out of a casual relationship. I 'm not dumba total idiot. He finally contacted me after a few days and asked me to come out and see him, so I did without hesitation.

    While I was out there, he started asking me questions about my Ex. Like what he does for a living and if we still talk. He then asked me if I was sure that I didn't want a relationship.. I think that was the third time he asked me that. Then he asked me what I would do if him and I were together tonight and then next week he was in a relationship with someone else... I was thrown off by the question and thought it was weird since he claims he isn't ready for commitment.. SO after that we had an amazing night together. He was holding me really tight in his arms... It was like we couldn't be closer. I felt like he was telling me something without words.

    After that night I went home. I noticed a change of tone with him when we talked. He just seemed different.

    It has been 2 weeks since I've seen him and we haven't talked much at all. He has no idea how much I like him... I've kept my guard up and play it cool.He gives me updates to let me know when he's coming home, but thats it. He seems cold towards me.

    I went and had my tarot cards read. She told me that he was waiting for me to make a decision and to tell him how I feel about about him. She told me we have a karmic relationship.. and she sees marriage in 6 months. 2 different readings and psycics told me we have a karmic relationship and we are soul mates and that is why my feelings are so strong. I seriously thought I was dillusional because I liked him so much... I never fall this fast.

    So I broke down and told him that I liked him for more than just sex. I figured that hiding my feelings is not going to get me anywhere... it never has. I think he was surprised and he didnt know what to say. I asked him how he felt about me. He said he liked me too, and asked me why I needed to know. I told him that I wanted to know if I should move on or not because I feel like he's been stringing me along a little bit.. He asked me if I had another guy lined up. I told him that I only want him and theres no other guy.

    Now he has been texting me and IMing me. He just says HI. Thats it. Whenever I get these messages from him Im always too busy to respond or I don't have my phone on me. So we have not talked since I told him how I feel. Maybe things will change when he comes back to town...

    Any advice on why Cancer men are so confusing??

  • Hi, I really enjoyed reading your blog. I am asking myself the same question too. Why are cancer men so confusing? It's funny because I have never been into astrology but for some reason out of curiosity I clicked here and got an account and then have been reading about caner men since I have been in love with one for over two years now. They tend to withdraw, give mixed signals, you go out with them and they have a good time with you and then they magically disappear for weeks and even months. What's up with that? For example, I personally don't have time for games. My advice to you is to hang on. Your guy sounds more promising than mine. And based on what your psychic told you, there is the possibility of a serious relationship and marriage.Give him time and space to sort out his confusion but not too long either because in case he keeps stringing you along, then go out there and find yourself someone that will love you like you deserve. Best of Luck! As for my cancer, I had to cut him off for good....

  • You can hang in there my dear Sag (I'm a Sag rising), but he will give you more of the same. He'll probably make up his mind longer than you think... like maybe even awhile after he's back. Don't set yourself up for hurt if you're planning for things to get better then... Cancers tend to realize things on thier own long after we do.

  • ME I am a female Cancer, i am exactly that, i like to take my time researching, & i make sure that when i need tofigure out something i gather up as much info & truth before making my final decision... thisway i know, i haven't hurt or offended anyone i love ~~~~

    this is how i operate the only way that has worked for me, but get me on my BADASS Attitude forget trying to look or talking to me, I'm on a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng Vacation ( mentally) LOL

  • Shortly after I posted that topic, I heard from him. That night as a matter of fact.... He texted me a picture of his behind. Apparently he injured himself. Anyway, I got the text when I came home that night at like 1am. I had been out with friends.

    When I replied to his text, he responded to mine asking me why I was still awake. I told him that I was out and just got home. He then asked me if I had met any "nice boys" while I was out. I was kinda irritated by this and told him that I did not, but I did get lots of free drinks. Implying that I was being hit on all night. He did not respond and he hasn't contacted me for a week. What the HELL is this guy's problem? Are Cancer's really this sensitive? I'm about to throw the towel in...

  • This is just the beggining, I've been seeing a cancer for about 3 years, it gets better but (at least for me) he runs hot and cold, check out my post some of the feed back is awsome.... I know exactly what you're going thru, trust your own intuition, you know what you feel. A lot of my friends told me to write off my cancer, but I haven't and I am glad he is in my life.

  • From personal experience! I have to say they all seem the same! And its strange because There is no need for the mind games!

    My cancer man, the first day he asked me to be his woman said are you faithful. Later on I learned his ex had cheated on him, he puts me through all sorts of weird and wonderful tests. Well wonderful to him and weird to me because I dont understand at all! In all honesty it makes me want to not trust him! But at the same time I love him more because I want to help him let go of his past!

    At the begining we were inseperable, we did everything together he would call all the time and want me around! Then he asked me to move in with him and I was like are you sure its what you want? Since I moved in he has been distant and stand offish. He has said that he just wants to be friends for now as he is under alot of stress! He changed that to were on a break thats all? Yet he does not want me to move out of his place! Or find a new man?

    Apparently this is normal behaviour! Not to me it is not! He told me in the begining that he likes to go away for weeks or months at a time to get some alone time but I thought nothing of it! Sometimes his phone will be off, sometimes he does not answer it or reply to text.

    This time I have decided to reverse the role I am not calling him or texting him sweet nothings (I love you babes, Going to bed now baby, love you). And it appears to be working! But at the same time I will not take this to far as it will push him away and he will think I have moved on!

    If you think he is worth it then wait but never try and make him jealous as it will backfire!

  • Here's an update:

    Still no word from this Cancer guy. Its been 2 weeks. Over this 2 week period I went on a Vegas trip with my single girlfriends... mind you my Cancer was jealous that I was going there when I told him.

    During this trip I had a Blast!! I was trying to take my mind off of feeling hurt and depressed for so long. Lots of pictures were taken. I posted these pics on myspace. I was in some pictures with some guys we met in Vegas. Harmless! One picture was a bit over the top, but it was a total joke. We are a bunch of single young girls in Vegas... What do you expect?

    So yesterday, I come to find that my Cancer deleted me from his myspace. Why would he do that? Obviously those pics effected him in some way... There's no other reason why he would delete me. Last time we taIked I thought we were cool. I don't understand because he totally ignores me. What am I suppossed to do?? Put my happiness on hold for this guy who can't even call to say hi. Then he gets all bent because I'm in pictures with other guys? That makes no sense to me at all. I want to text him and ask him why he did that and if there was something I did to offend him... but I don't know if I even want to bother with this drama.

    I'm really hurt by all thats happened, but I can't deal with the indirectness of this guy. Being a Sag, I don't have time to get bogged down with emotions. Fire and Water obviously don't get along.

    Thanks to all of you for the feedback. Its very helpful. I guess you ladies can handle this kind of behavior. I am way too impatient for all this. I really like this cancer, but I just don't think I can do it anymore...

    If we really are "soul mates" it will happen.. I'm just going to live my life and let it.

  • I am married to a Cancer advice is to run........and don't look back

  • What??? Some things have more to do with personal charecter then astrology, Some men use stupid excuses to end relationships so that they don't have to man up and say how they really feel, it sounds like one of those situations. What a jerk.

  • Why are always cancer stories the same?

    a fellow sag here..with a very stingy, dramatic(esp.from my side) short story with a cancer(capricorn moon, venus in gemini, dunno the rising sign tho)

    this year as I said before, was very weird, met like 4 or 5 cancers all born around the same timing, late june..I never got to date or even know so much male crabs lol Iwas usually attracted to leos and scorpios

    mstarx ur post has 90% similarity with what I have been through this (awful) year but with more emotional stress and tears in mine...

  • OMG I think that me finding this forum was destiny, like a sign. I like all of you ofcourse, have been dating a Cancer man, on and off, for 3 years. Everything that all of you have said about the Cancer man is true, so I will not write about it, you guys already know it. I guess he's a classic, lol. Now, this is the part where I too can say " Cancer men, im so confused".

    Ok here goes: When i met my Cancer man 3 years ago, I was not interested in him at all. Im the manager at a dental office, and that day he came into his regular dental appt. After his visit was over, later that day , he started calling the office over and over again, asking to speak to me. Now honestly we see so many patients there that I didnt even remember his face. So, the calls were now getting annoying, and to get him off my back, I gave him my phone number. Later, that night he called me, we talked on the phone for about a week and then we decided to meet up. That's were my whole entire life changed forever.

    That evening, that we were going to meet at his home, I suddenly experienced the worst migraine one can ever imagine. At one point it was so bad that I called him and told him I couldn't make it. But he told me to wait awhile and see how I felt because he really wanted to see me that night. I later realized that it was my subconcious telling me not to go. So ofcourse, I did feel better and went to his house. This might seem like a long story, but I cant leave any details out, trust me you will want to read about what hapends next !! When I arrived at his house, ofcourse there was no dinner in the works, he took me straight to his bedroom. Now ofcourse, a Libra that I am, this made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. I immediately knew what his intentions were, but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. So he gave me this lame story about how he had recently gone through a breakup and his ex is pregnant, but that he suspected the child wasn't his. He went on to say that he was waiting for a DNA test and that pending the results, that would determine the path he was going to take in his life because if he was the father, he would marry the mother even though he didn't love her, blah, blah, blah. He asked me if this mattered at all to me and if i was willing to still date him in the mean time. He was soooo credible, he looked me straight in my eyes when he told me this. How could I have ever imagined it was all a game. I told him it didn't matter and that if he was the father we would work something out when the time came. Almost immediately after my response, he came on to me and so I didnt want to be rude so I figured I would just kiss him But when we did kiss, I was caught up in his web with no escape. He was so romantic and passionate and loving that I just couldn't resist and the inevitable happend. I blame myself sometimes for being too weak, but it's human nature. i had been single for more than a year and he just pushed all the right buttons. Everything was like a dream. I went to heaven and back and far as I was concerned he was " the one". But this beautiful dream quickly turned into a nightmare when I learned that his baby mama drama story was a lie that he made up to cover up the truth. That he was seeing someone else at the same time as me!!!

    Ofcourse no lie can be kept secret forever, and it finally blew up in his face one day when she and I confronted him. Basically, he kept going back and forth between me and her for about a year.Yeah hews that good that he fooled us both (the ex and me). Eventually I just couldn't take all the harrasing phone calls, the drama, and the stress and we split for good. Six months passed not a call, email or text from him. Then one day when I least expected it, he called my office ( he had no other means to contact me and this was urgent). He told me how sorry he was for everything, that his life with her was hell, that he should of never let me go, that he was so depressed he was thinking of suicide, blah, blah, blah. A caring, and loving person that I am I took this quite serious.I went to see him after work and he was crying on my shoulder, he had found out that she was married and he was just a boy toy!! Karma is a bc isnt it!! Physically he didnt look so well, he was very thin, had dark eye circles and so I knew things weren't good at all and that there was some truth to this new story of his. So we decided that we should be friends because he really needed the support and understanding that I had once given him and so i agreed to be " just friends". The next day, I called him in the morning to make sure he was ok, but no answer, I left a VM no answer, I texted no answer. Then finally around 6pm, I get a phone call he was in the ER because he wasn't feeling well. He told me he needed me to be there with him because he felt very lonely. So ofcourse, I went to see him. While I was there, he went to the bathroom more that 6 times so at first I thought he was really sick. The last time he went to the bathromm he spent nearly 15 min in there until finally I was so concerned that I went to the mens room. As I was nearing the men's room door, I heard him talking. At first I thought it was with someone from the rest room, but then it hit me. He was talking to HER!! I calmed myself and went back to the hallway and said to myself " You are smarter than this and you need to play it cool". Wait it gets better. He comes out and he tells me how sick he felt and while we are talking his cell rings. I asked him who it was and he froze. He told me its her and she's on her way over here you should leave. I was so dumbfounded, confused, enraged, hurt, etc that I couldn't say a word. I just turned around and left. As i was sitting in the taxi, something just struck me and I told the driver lets go back, turn around and so he did. Only 15 mins or so had passed so he was still there. I approached him and I told him " This s ends tonight, I want to meet her and ask her what the hell is going on". Now he really got sick and turned pale white, I thought he was going to pass out but he didnt. She arrived shortly after and didnt say a word to me. She asked him to tell me why he was there in the ER. So I waited for his answer. Nothing so she willingly volunteered to elaborate on the situation. She said " He is here because we had been together all day and we were about to have sex when I noticed something on his penis and I told him to check it out". Again, confusing struck me. were they together again? Why did he call me to go to the ER? She didnt looklike they were having problems, what the f*** was going on here. Ofcourse at this point, my well known patience had flown out the window a long time ago. I had reached my limit of drama for one lifetime. We didnt speak again for another 3 months. This time the emails and IM's started. He was afraid if he'd call me I would hang up. They were seeing each ther but things became so intensebetween them that it reached the level of domestic violence. See I was the more laid back type but she was not having it and was much more youngerand immature than I. She put him in jail 3 times and he just finished a year lng long ordeal with the legal system trying to convince the judges that she was physically abusing him too.

    Finally the end, we have been seeing each throughout this entire past year steadily. They are nolongerogether, she despises him deeply and can't forgive him I don't blamer her. But I feel that after everything we went through there must be a reason why he keeps coming back to me. And here is the question I wish someone could answer me" If they hate eachother so much, why does he constantly talk about her every day? How he wants revenge, he willnever forgive her, how hurt he is, how he will neer trust woman again. I LOVE this man with all my heart I must confess, and for me to say this after everything he put me through, and then some,it must be love. I know he has alot of hurt and grief to deal with. His mother and closest brother both passed away within thepast 2 years and then the jail and court just might be too much for him. But he wont let me go, I have told him we should go apart for awhile but he says he cant live without me. Is it some sort of mental manipulation or does he really love me? And why can't he stop talking about HER, is he obsessed, crazy, depressed, what? Im desperate for an answer, something has got to give!!

    Bottom line if you love your Cancer man deeply, truly, dont give up because the one thing we can all aree on is that when you love a Cancer man, you can NEVER forget him, whether for the good or bad.

    Stay Tuned - To be continued...............

    Sorry for the typos twards the end, my hands were tired, lol.

  • I'm so sorry to say this but it looks like he keeps coming back because you are being a doormat to walk all over whenever he can't have her. Once he has a chance he will walk all over you again back to her.

    You need to find someone else darling sorry to be so blunt.

  • DollCake were we dating the same Cancer? Mine's Cap moon as well. Not sure of the rest. Lol

  • lol mstarx u think we might be? lol

  • Haha. Our cancers sound too much a like! Born in late June, huh?

  • Anyone pls help!! i never dated a cancer man before and this had been an experience. i met this man online 3 weeks ago He got divorced Jul 16. In short we talked on thephone the 1st wk, we went out that weekend sat, sun and then on Tues. His x wife is an alcholic and is a lunatic. All dates were great we got along fine. the problem is his xwife. she calls him, the house, the shop where he works constantly. im involved indireclty because i told him im here for you to give support and listen. The 2nd week things got a little too crazy and i was really thinking about stopping the madness in its tracks and didn't know how to say it. we spoke all the time about what we are going to do plans etc. Like i said we got along fine but one problem was the tension btwn because of the xwife. If he got upset because of the things she was doing i heard a bout it. I could n't sleep a few nites and lost a few pounds. I felt like he really didn't want to pursue helping the situation by changing numbers to avoid all the mess. Finally i raised my voice and said this is not good for ur mother, the kids any one else involved he complained to me about it but did nothing to fix it. He said he was going to block her number on the cell but instead they blocked his. He is lack in doing things and a little slow im not but im very patient. Well i saw him this past wednesday things were a little cool after not seeing him for a week. I watched the baseball game he barely kissed and touched me different from two weeks prior. Thursday i didn't hear from him at all. I thought something bad happened and thought the worst. by the evening after leaving a few messages. i left a msg telling hm he either calls by friday morn or his is through, the end. finito and i will be putting my profile back on the website. Well i tried getting him in the morn on the way to work but nothing. he leaves me a text msg telling me he lost his phone and got it back that morn and said after hearing ur msgs pls dont call me. im not sure i actually believe that he does come up with some dillies though. My msgs thursday were not nasty they were of concern to him. He knows i am there for him. i guess i got a little upset to say the least. I left msgs friday to tell him why did what i did and said but nothing. Im not sure why he is taking this personally i tried to apologize. What should i do Anything

  • Can anyone give me some advice on what to do in my situation Pls!!!

  • First of all dont apologize anymore, they loooooooove it when you say your sorry. Secound, from experience ( Ive been with one for 3 years), I would bet anything that he's putting you through one of the famous cancer tests, lol. See when he tells you not to call him anymore, he wants to see whats your reaction. He wants to see if you really care about it enough to beg him not to leave you and to keep calling him. Its like the opposite, when he tells you I dont want to talk to you anymore, he doesnt really mean it, trust me you would know. You have to make him think. Play along no mater how much it bothers you. He tells you dont call, you dont. then when he does call you and he will, tell him " I thought you said not to call you'. He needs you for support and if he feels like he can trust you, he's not going anywhere!!! A word of advice though, the divorce he is going through is going to take him a long, long, long time to get over. So if you have patience your going to need it. He will talk about it over and over again. But when he does stop talking about it then you need to worry. Pay attention to every word he tells you because they have a way of sending you hidden messages when they speak. For ex: If he tells you " I wish my friends would stop calling me so much", he is probably trying to tell you that no one has called him in awhile. The more you get to know him, the more you will pick up on these things. Most of the time they forget what they say by the next day, so pay attention and take lots of notes,lol. What sign are you by the way?

  • Yes, it seems to me like these Cancer men are always testing you. Mine does.. he has me soooo confused, but I am slowly figuring him out. After doing my research and really analyzing this guy, I've come to realize that he is just ultra sensitive... and not what I thought at all. I thought he wasn't intererested anymore, so I basically said F it and tried to move on. I can't seem to get over this guy. He has me.

    Depending on what sign you are, You might not understand his emotions. I'm a Sagittarius... In a Cancer's viewpoint I can come off to be very unemotional and aloof. I am independent and strong. I also speak my mind... even when I should hold back. This intimidates people. I finally recognized this and started being a little softer. I try to making sure that he knows I am interested and I do care. He's being much more receptive to my caring side, then my aloof side.

    I am not the type of girl who chases men. I feel that he wants me to chase him for reassurance... I've realized that we just don't understand each other. I'm being very patient and hoping for the best. He just doesn't seem to get that I would do anything for him. Coming from me, thats saying so much. I just have a hard time putting that into words for him.

    I can understand why cancer men dont want to put it all out on the table and risk getting crushed. They really need to know you care. They seem to get hurt very easily.

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