Thecaptain or anyone else who has a special gift to see clearly



  • It's been a very long and rough journey for me. My life that is. I am in a very bad situation in my marriage and I just went to my lawyer on Friday and got papers to file for a divorce. I cannot handle the verbal abuse and constant put downs anymore. He stays drunk everyday and that is the only thing that is important to him. Well that and trying to make me as miserable as possible. I try to ignore him but it''s hard to when he follows me around the house constantly running his mouth and then I loose my cool. I hate stooping to his level but he takes me there.

    My request is a reading on what my future looks like. I want to know if I am making the right decision. I want to know if things look brighter for me in the future because lately I can't see anything but rough road ahead. I know things are not going to get any better right away but what about down the road? Financially things are miserable also and I know that won't change right away either but I'm also working towards making a change there as well.

    Please and thank you to anyone that will respond. I need all the advice I can get. I'm really scared with what I'm taking on but I'm trying to stay strong and see the bigger picture.

    Thanks again! Lots of love and light van5521



  • You are definitely making the right decision - it never works to stay with an abusive person. Yes, you may struggle for a while materially but your self-esteem and confidence will soar once you are away from someone who puts you down all the time. You need to do this for your emotional and mental wellbeing.



  • Who is your supportive friend with the dog?



  • I was really surprised that you ask if you are making the right decision. You are you are and do not doubt it. I guess like after every separation you will need time to recover so be sure to give yourself that time. I really admire women who have the strength and guts to file for a divorce because I am too afraid to make that jump. Good luck with the proceedings and stay true to yourself.

    xxxPaddi



  • TheCaptain

    Thank you for your time and energy! I know I am making the right decision because I have never felt worse about myself than I have over the last several years. I used to be a very confident and outgoing person but he has managed to make me feel like I'm worthless. I know that is not so. At least I am starting to see it more clearly now. I think he is just trying to drag me down to his level and has accomplished that most of the time. Here lately I have been letting the little voice in my head tell me it's him and not me. It is hard to pick yourself up after hearing nothing but negative about yourself for many years. I am going to do it though. I need to do it for me. You are exactly right! My mental well being has been shattered to the core believe me. I know it's going to get harder before it gets better but I am a very strong willed person and I will prevail.

    I don't know who the supportive friend is with the dog. I can't think of any of my friends that have a dog unless it's a man I just recently met through face book. He is very supportive of what I'm going through and the step I'm about to take. I don't know if he has a dog though.

    Thanks again! Lots of love and light van5521



  • Paddifluff

    I have been scared for the last 4 years because I no longer have a job. I lost my job because of my job. I know that sounds crazy but I worked assembly in a manufacturing plant for 11 years and after 4 surgeries on my elbows and hands over the last 3 years I can no longer do assembly work and they would not move me to another position. I started school in August and am doing really well. The thing is I felt trapped and thought I had to stay with him because I don't have a job. I started thinking one evening after listening to what an awful person I am and how stupid I am that I don't care if I loose every possession I own there has got to be a better life for me. I also don't think God intended on me living this way either. My Dad told me there is a scripture in the Bible that says if you can not make it work or if it's abusive to get out. So I am taking that leap and doing just that. My point is don't be afraid to do what you need to do for yourself as well. If you are unhappy do something to change it. I did everything I could in my marriage and nothing I do is ever good enough so I will move on now and please myself for a change. It is long over due! I have been living for someone else for so many years I won't know how to act to just live for myself and hopefully regain my self confidence and some self esteem. He has me at the bottom right now but I believe if I can get away from him I will feel better about myself.

    So be strong and if you are not happy don't stay just because you are scared. It is scary but it's also exciting to know I have a chance at a life again.

    Lots of love and light van5521



  • Look your abuser straight in the eye and calmly say that he can no longer treat you like an inferior just to make his insecure little ego feel better, that you are not taking his lies and abuse any more.



  • Oh good luck and keep that inner fire burning!