Cancer male - huge fight with Virgo

  • Thank you all for the wonderful advice on Cancer. I am also in love with one and he tends to go through periods of withdrawal. For example, he will call me and invite me out. We go out and have a great time and then I don't hear from him again in months or who knows in how long. We have been in this pattern on and off for over a year now. He doesn't like confrontation so if I ask him why this and why that he just ignores me or tells me he is very busy. just a bunch of excuses. so I have decided to cut him off from my life for good and this time is for sure. I am a libra.

  • Dear Snickersbar79. I hate to say this, but is he bit strapped for cash? Does he think you are high maintenance? Did you lavish money and treats on him at all? Just a thought, but I think the problem is fiscal. Am I wrong here, or could it be a possibility? Take care hope you are getting over him.

  • Hi

    I was with a cancer guy and love heaps. I have been texing him and he doesnt reply. At the end last nite I sent him a horrible tex which I said that he was cold hearted and not human. After what he did to me used me he doesnt have the decency to answer my texts. I told him i didnt have any more feelings for him (I was so angry). I told him i wasnt going to contact him anymore. He still doesnt reply, I said all these things in anger. He did alot of bad things to me, i moved in with him and he told me he didnt love me and never will and I should move out. Help me out guys, I want him back,

  • Hi

    I was with a cancer guy and love heaps. I have been texing him and he doesnt reply. At the end last nite I sent him a horrible tex which I said that he was cold hearted and not human. After what he did to me used me he doesnt have the decency to answer my texts. I told him i didnt have any more feelings for him (I was so angry). I told him i wasnt going to contact him anymore. He still doesnt reply, I said all these things in anger. He did alot of bad things to me, i moved in with him and he told me he didnt love me and never will and I should move out. Help me out guys, I want him back,




    That would be really bad for all us Cancerians ~that we harbour such Extreme & high emotions ~~ BUT, they are all true for The Cancer child ~ it's a about the waiting Game~

    not so much ~~ Attention & pity woe is me party ~ but simply to be recognized & to be respected and appreciated in that is good and true coming from a Cancer child

    bottom line Guys...... to a Cancer when HE / She says Time out~~ heed that warning ~~ or else suffer later~~~~ NO FUN ~~ HUH

    ABOUT TIME ROOM & SPACE TO BREATH ...... gotta love a Cancer LOL

  • I don't want to rain on anybodies parade, but Cancer men, not all but alot of them, are extremely emotional and controlling. Most of which really don't want to be tied down. If this guy was really interested in you, he would have given you some kind of sign, even if he did choose to retreat.

    They have a vision of what they think perfect is, and if you don't measure up, you are a gonner right from the start. You might think you stand a chance but you don't. The sex will be magnificent, and you will have a great time, but if you aren't it, you aren't it.

    Most Cancer men are kind of old fashioned, they might not seem like it on the outside, but they are. The average one will treat the girl for him, like he treats his Mom. With alot of respect. So, if any of this seems to be what you and your cancer have, then maybe it's the real thing, but, if he doesn't even attempt to get in touch with you soon, move on.

    Sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes the truth hurts.

  • Sounds to me like you are making the right choice. I don't think it is a money thing at all. You just aren't the one. Plain and simple. At least you are smart enough to see it.

  • Hi!

    Me again....I can undertand how confused you might be ith everyone telling you different thing as to what to do...I do not know how long ago thi fight was and how often you have been texting etc but the key is to hit a fine balance...What I mean is that you MUT make him feel secure but you mut NOT smother him either...You will know better than anyone, of course, but have you considred that it might be time to make the text a bit more proactive? What I mean is that perhaps the next text or a couple of texts from now you might want to say something like "hey, in all of this confusion, we completely missed celebrating your birthday! Let's...." Or, possibly even better, "hey, you know my birthday is coming up (I you ar Virgo...) and I really want to...this year. The thing is, that I really can't imagine anyone I would want to spend my bierthday with more than you! So, what do you think? You, me, at the...on xyztime?" Remember, it's all about the connection...He has heard the words and he probably believes them, but only intellectually, if you see what I mean...Now, you've got to put your money where your mouth is, so to speak and let him really FEEL that you are sincere in your apology and desire to have him in your life. I know this may all seem like a tempest in a teacup but there does come th point when he has to deal with you and all of this one way or another...

    Walk in Bauty, both of you,


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  • MilliFeorie - I am learning from his site that we Cancers aren't as great as I once thought we are. We are very judgemental, manipulative and controlling, but for the RIGHT person we love with all our hearts... and no one could imagine the otherside. I was beginning to think I just wasn't REALLY a nice person... I think it's funny that people who really know me, know this, and it doesn't bother them. I think I'm going to ask them why. The people I'm the closest too are always virgo's. I can't imagine them doing anything to me that would make me treat them the way this girls Cancer man treats her. Except what I said bluntly... he has made up his mind.

  • Hi, everyone --

    Have really enjoyed reading the forums about Cancer males. They are especially interesting to me, as I am a Virgo woman who has been seeing a Cancer man off and on for over six months now... My God...though... it has been SOOOO nerve-wracking. I know in my heart (and true Virgo analytical perception of people), that he is such a kind, gentle and caring soul, with a big heart. He has really gone to great lengths when we're together to see that I enjoy myself... fixing me dinner, being a great conversationalist and generally very entertaining, hospitable, and opening his home up to me (which I saw as a pretty big deal since Cancers love their home). I could tell he really enjoyed spending time with me, and I know I felt very comfortable with him--it was like we had known each other before--even from the first time we met.

    But here's the biggie... after the times we do see each other, enjoy our time together and have a great time, etc.,, there he goes... into his shell... and he will be totally uncommunicative... until HE's ready to do so!!! At the end of our times together, he'll say "Call me. I'd like that.", but when I do call, 99% of the time, he's not available. I leave voice mails, short and light ones--not demanding... As an example... "Hi... was just thinking of you... thought I would call and see how you're doing. Hope everything's going OK. Hope to see you sometime soon... Take care." These voice mails (none of them) are EVER returned, and to me, this is so frustrating. I understand that Cancers need their time to retreat into their shells. Boy, do I know that... I have a Cancer brother and a former high school boyfriend who was a Cancer. My current Cancer even said himself that he needs his "downtime". I'm very understanding of this... I need my downtime too... (I have a Cancer ascendant), but, come on... it's just like he drops off the face of the earth, and doesn't even exist... could be for a couple of weeks... or a month... time goes by with no contact whatsoever and then "POOF"... all of a sudden, I'll hear from him. And, of course, I'm so happy to hear from him... because I do care about him--a lot. I just don't know what to do anymore, though because I do care. I'm getting tired of being the one who has to walk on eggshells all the time because of his retreat from the world, extreme sensitivity and moodiness. Heck... I'm sensitive too, ya know? I know that I have been more than patient in this situation... but the real deal here is that I want him around and in my life... Any advice from wise people out there? Help!

  • I can relate as well. Had a wonderful cancer in and outta my life for a long long time. Green eyed virgo...The dissapearing act I know all too well. It can be devastating at times. We have gone through all phases of a relationship you can imagine. friends, lovers bestfirends, exes, ect! If you truly love your cancer and not just the thrill of the chase then hang on to your hat cuz you are in for the ride of your life!!! Dont be a doormat and dont let him use you rule # 1. Rule # 2 when you sense him pulling away back off! rule # 3 Dont assume anything just wait and watch. Rule # 4 Dont call him or test him more than once he hasnt forgotten about you. Rule # 5 Dont respond too quickly to him...make him wonder what your up too. this works with all men they dont like to be chased and being available 24/7 is too predictable and boring. Dont be so wuick to let him no whats up with you either next time he drops out of your life. My cancer guy and I have been throu it all. I love him but I have learned to love me more. I let him no that it hurts me deeply when he ignores me and I understand if he needs space but I cant handle the silent treatment. Now he responds to me even if its only two words bc he really isnt trying to hurt me. well lets face it most people dont hurt each other on purpose but if you dont draw the line he will continue to cross it. Cancers as we all no can be very difficult to understand at times but patience is always rewarded and it is so worth it. Be strong and have some self respect but not demanding or harsh. Best of luck to you all on here!

  • Thanks, lovinmylife, for your reply to my post, I have backed off for long periods of time, a week, two weeks, three weeks, etc.,, so it's not like I'm bugging him on and on... every day or so. When I do reach his voice mail, I leave a very light message such as... "Hi, I was thinking of you... hope you're OK. See you soon. Take care." something to that effect... never anything harsh or demanding -- I know better than that. I recognize the fact that he certainly needs his space. Right now, too, he's got a lot of issues going on in his life... family illness, a troubled kid, God knows what else. I try to take this into account, but in my own stupid insecurity, I guess I feel like somehow he has forgotten me. It seems like I'm held back from communicating because there he is again "in his shell". I'm an analytical Virgo for the most part, but do understand some of this sensitivity and withdrawal, (I am like that to a degree myself as my rising sign is Cancer), but to this extreme... wow... it's so mind-boggling for me. But as you say, I've gotta live my own life... go about things and not be available 24/7. I know that ultimately that is the way to be and that is what I try do do, hard as it may be, because I do care for him. You mentioned that you let your Cancer know that it hurts you when he ignores you and you don't like the silent treatment... how on earth do you do that without infringing on his sensitive nature and possibly hurting or offending him? Even if I could get a couple of words now and then from my Cancer, that would be OK with me... just something to let me know he's alive. Well, sorry to go on and on... forgive me... but, in the long run, I know he is a kind, caring and compassionate guy... and has many good qualities. So I take your idea to heart about patience always being rewarded and so worth it. I am nothing, if not a patient person and I have faith in this statement. Again, thanks....

  • Green eyed i can relate to all that you are saying. possibly bc I have a virgo rising. I have know my cancer guy for many many yrs. He was my first big crush, first love, he was in and outta my life for what seems like forever. Maybe thats why its easier for me to be able to tell him things without major repercussions. Also it could be that I feel like when he isnt being vry considerate of my feelings why should I protect his? I dont have to become nasty but I do have the right to state how I feel and if I cant do that than we dont even have a basic friendship. He may not respond the way you want but he will at least no that it hurts you for future reference. For example, I told him it upsets me and hurts me when he ignores me, this was after I sent him a text that he didnt respond to. He sent a msg back saying Oh come on and gave me a list of excuses. I said sorry and I told him I would knock it off and I just wanted to know how he is doing bc I care. It is a scary thing to confront this type of person bc you dont know how they will react or if they will at all. But I know it was the right thing to do bc now he gets back to me quickly. he also told me once not to jump at him emotionally thru text. I have listened and calmed down with that as well. Now keep in mind We barely speak to each other at the present time. But I no if I need to contact him for any reason I will at least get a response. he has a pattern and he always comes back and he too has been going thru a terrible heart wrenching time but that doesnt make it okay for him to treat me with disrespect. I feel that if he truly loves me than even if his knee jerk reaction is to become defensive he does hear me and will consider my feelings. If your man cant be sensitive to your needs to than what is the point of having any kind of relationship with him? Its true that we need to treat these men with sensitivity but they need to do the same with us. My world doesnt revolve around him and he will see that thru my actions. I stopped asking him whats going on in his life and I dont tell him whats going on in mine. He isnt here so he doesnt get to know. I have never been this strong with him and it will be intresting to see what happens next. I am a single mom btw and my kids come first in my life and if he wants to know how we are doing he is going to have to ask.

  • Hello !!!!

    I wanted to jump on this topic.. if that is alright.... !!!

    i am a female Crab~` i haven't met any other male crabs, BUT i have met females crabs...

    from what i feel . see & hear, each crab is slightly different in emotions, sensitivity, ideas, even hoe they react,

    I myself hmmmm can relate to your frustrations over a dificult Cancer Male. 😞

    .... i would certainly Never Date a CRAB,,,, AYEEEEE

    just knowing how difficult the crab energies are

    , would just make that union of crabs so terribly wrong.... Am I right... lol

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