Some generous talent to give a reading, please?

  • I need a reading on my marriage, please?

    I'm Leo, 8/7/85 Page Arizona, 5 am

    He's Gemini, 6/7/1979 Mumbai India, Not sure

    I don't want to be married anymore. I really just don't know what to do. =...(

  • This relationship brings out both you and your husband's unusual sides. You and he respect tradition but do not worship it, agreeing that established conventions may simply be excuses for bad habits. What works, rather than what should work, is uppermost in your minds. In consequence, your relationship is markedly pragmatic in outlook. Unconventional attitudes prevail here, though the two of you usually stay within the bounds of good sense. There should also be a lot of good humour and enjoyment in this relationship as long as open lines of communication exist and conflict is diminished. You two can find kindred spirits in each other and may enjoy a good joke at the expense of more traditional associates, or even a bit of a gossip, both of these discreetly behind the scenes.

    Your love affair is likely to have been honest but would never have flown in society's face. Publicly in other words, you two mute your relationship's uniqueness, sharing it mainly during more intimate moments. Both of you feel that what happens between two people is your business alone. In its physical aspect, the relationship is likely to be frank, open and creative, with no holds barred. Kindness and consideration are certainly present here, but are often of secondary importance. Marriage here can be successful if the two of you can achieve a balance between your different outlooks. Should you two be able to effect a compromise between your husband's critical remarks and independence and your drive towards dominance, lasting harmony can result. If not, expect the worst. Your husband's cutting remarks can anger and wound you, and you may respond with violent outbursts and then stony silences, none of which help the marriage. You like to dominate a situation, so you sometimes come on a little strong. You and your husband could end up trying to one-up each other in the attention-seeking department. If you can both respect each other’s need to be centre stage, the two of you will complement and satisfy one another. Your husband may sometimes feel you don't understand him or even don't seem to care much about him. He may then react with total aloofness and lack of participation which doesn't help the situation, either. You both have to find compromises and balance for your behaviour and responses to each other. Understanding will come only if you communicate rather than retreat into silence or isolation.

    What your husband really wants in life is peace and oneness with his personal connection to God/The Universe. He tends to suffer from a victim consciousness and is looking for another person, a saviour or mentor, whom he can trust to put his life in order for him. But no other person can ever give him enough reassurance to overcome his inner sense of helplessness and paranoia. Only when he looks within to discover what outer structures he needs to create, will he find strength and purpose. He must find the confidence to go out into the world and serve others even if he doesn't feel ready to do it. By actively participating in life, he will gain the self-confidence he seeks. He has a burning need to do something meaningful in his life - he must deal with his issues about success and recognition, and what he feels he may have given up to get it, or feeling frustrated that he may have lost it by choosing to settle down. He often gets angry that he is not being seen or appreciated for who he really is, or feels manipulated and pushed around by others. In fact, he needs an 'anchor' at home to keep him in touch with reality so he can work more effectively in the world.

    You Leolight want to merge with someone else's energy and feel mutual empowerment. You are looking for total, permanent commitment. You want a partner whom you can count on to take care of all your material needs and you will take care of his emotional needs, or vice versa - a synergistic relationship that is mutually empowering and completely dependable. Any negligence of your needs on your partner's part - not giving you the love and attention you crave - may frustrate and anger you. But your mistake is in seeking your self-worth and happiness through others - you have to accept and love yourself and not expect others to complete you or make you happy. That is something you must do for yourself. You must be discriminating in your choice of partner and find someone with similar energy and values, whose goals are shared by you and valuable to you both as individuals. You may have fears of being abandoned or left alone or emotionally abused that have to be dealt with because they can affect your marriage and other relationships. You may project your fears onto your husband if there are times he doesn't give you the attention you crave or seems distant.

    To sum up, this relationship can work but only if the two of you acknowledge that you must make compromises and try to accept and understand each other better. You must speak freely to each other about what you want and need. You must work hard to make the marriage a success. And you must both try to eliminate any fears or personal issues you each have regarding relationships and life and love. But it can work if you both want it to.

  • I think you are right on with so many things. I appreciate the fair reading. I am going home now to talk with him and see if we can't work things out. There's a lot that I could say, but I will just try to take your advice again. If it wouldn't be too much, could I ask for a reading on his mother? I will try to get her birthdate. I really question her intentions sometimes, and I have always felt that she wishes he married an indian girl, and that if I wasn't his wife, she wouldn't give two blinks for me. ............I'm really sick of living with racist mothers. What did I do to them?

    God, I should have known better.

  • Yes I would be happy to do a reading for your husband's mother. I think relationships become so much easier when you understand where the other person is coming from.

  • Yes, you are right! And, over the weekend, I have been regretting my above comment. it's not that she is a bad person at all. She really is very sweet, usually, and definitely has the self-sacrifice down. But as soon as I get her birthdate, I think I will understand her better, you really have such a gift!

    I wanted to let you know that I talked to my husband and told him everything I'd been feeling, and you were dead on with so many points. I asked him about the way he feels with some things, and you were very right. While all the pressure i had inside me was finally released, and I feel happier and confident, I am also trying to do my part, and I am more willing to just hang in there one more time. Really, it's all thanks to you, because I was just burning up inside and not knowing what to do with next. I really wish there was a way I could repay you! Thank you!

  • I'm so happy for you! πŸ™‚ That's my reward.

  • ❀ Here is some love for you! May you only find happiness! πŸ™‚

  • Thank you! πŸ™‚

  • I have my MIL's bday: 5-23-1958 Mumbai, India. If you have time to give a perspective, I'd appreciate it sooo much, thanks, Lady!

  • Your relationship with your MIL can be empathic, passionate, and respectful, or it can be explosive, unstable and angry, depending on how your connection is handled. You two are actually on the same wavelength, believe it or not, and your strong empathic connection can mean that if you feel something, LeoLight, such as anger, but you don't express it, then your MIL may get angry without knowing why, actually taking on your emotion like a chameleon. So real are the emotions here that you two often mistake the other person's feelings for your own. You can both identify with each other to a great degree, feeling each other's pain or joy. Thus if you want to get on with her, you need to project peace and calm and harmony in her presence. You must also be wary of picking up her feelings and mistaking them for your own. And make sure competitive and personal feelings regarding her son/your husband don't get in the way at your encounters. You both share great energy and great rebellious tendencies but, if you can accept each other and make peace for the sake of everyone, you can both come to respect and even admire each other.

    Your MIL is very money-oriented and loves her comforts and possessions, and sometimes she even treats people like they are her 'things' to do with as she wants. She has never felt like she really fits in with 'normal' people, comparing herself unfavorably and feeling like the ugly duckling of the fairy tale. She can actually be a bit of an oddball at times and rather eccentric. She does love to do things for others, but she has trouble giving over control long enough to receive love from those who need her. Maturity should help her to settle down and become more able to accept love without feeling it will steal her freedom.

  • This made me laugh so much!!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!! LOL I have noted many of these little things, like, yesterday I was raving angry about something that my husband had done the day before, and yet when I met my MIL, she was happy, and suddenly, despite my mind being upset, and angry, my emotions were happy, and I was thinking, Am I bipolar???

    I think I will have to practice a lot of yoga and meditations to get back to a place where I am emoting peace and tranquility LOL

    And yes, I actually have a goal not to let any feelings of competition come between us, I grew up that way with my Step-mother, she always was competing/feeling like I was competing to steal her husband, my father. So I don't need any of that BS in my life. So, wise advice.

    I was noticing and wondering about her self - comparisons, wondering if she knows how pretty and sweet she is, because her husband passed so long ago, and, well, her sons tend to accept her generous spirit without much display of appreciation. I will keep all these things in mind as I continue. Thank you SO MUCH!!!!


  • You're very welcome! πŸ™‚

  • Hi LeoLight, I was reading thru some of your posts and couldn't help but notice all the 5's in your mother in law's date of birth. Five is a number that has followed me quite a bit and wanted to ask you if she has had a lot of change in her life. You might also be dealing with a person who is quite changeable in personality, almost bi-polar, if you know what I mean. This person can have a lot of twists and turns w/o no apparent reason. If I'm correct, my advice is just be yourself and carry on.

  • Hmm! That is interesting! I don't think she's bipolar, lol. But yes, she has had to deal with change in every step of her life. She is very traditional in her thinking, regarding gender roles and such, but not to the point she is crazy about it, and yet she's had to break through every boundry that that thinking usually requires of a woman. I will keep your advice in mind, thank you, Daliolite!

Log in to reply