Blmoon please give me some insight
I understand that you're very, very busy and I'm sorry to impose this on you.
I'm however specifically requesting your help in this question because I stumbled upon one of your readings a year or so ago, where you were helping a young woman out, and I felt a very deep connection with your intuition and insight.
I have since read many of your other readings on this site, and that's why I think that your specific intuition can give me some insight into this matter.
I'm having a really hard time right now (and have been for a long period of time now), it just feels like the world keeps handing me punch after punch, knocking me down everytime, and having to pick myself up everytime, to try again, only to be knocked down again, to pick myself up again, and so forth.
Tonight I received another blow when I talked to my ex-boyfriend, and he told me that he had a new girlfriend who he was happy with and who he was living with. I realize now that me and him are NEVER going to be together again, and that of course makes me very sad, especially since I was told some 10 years ago through a reading that I would meet my soulmate in this lifetime, and I was extremely sure that he was the one.
And all of this, comes on top of all the other stuff that has been happening in my life. And the truth of my situation is I have no job, no love, no money. I'm starting to lose heart. And I've tried, I've REALLY, REALLY tried HARD for so long to get a job, to find a new boyfriend (and get over my ex), and to do better in different areas of my life. But it's as if no matter how hard I try, nothing I do is garnering any results at all. I feel like the world just keeps handing me punches again and again and again
My question is then, what are my spirit guides trying to tell me? Why is everything so difficult right now, I mean, why can't SOME things in my life just be relatively easy? Why do I keep getting these blows when I'm already so low?
Thank you so much for all your your time and your help. I'm truly grateful.
Oh, by the way, my birth date is 9th of Aug. 1982.
I've read your post but can't answer at the moment---will get back to you later today.
Thank you Blmoon. Your kind help and insight are greatly appreciated.
And may you get well soon. I'm sorry to hear about your terrible allergies. I hope that you're feeling a bit better. Best and brightest wishes to you
I haven't forgotten you--in fact I know exactly were you are in life but I need time to find the right words to explain in a way that will be healing and change your perspective. Right now you are in victim mode. It's part of being exhausted mind body spirit and beaten down. Emotions have taken over. The darkest before the dawn is a real passage. All bad situations have the hidden possibility to give you skills and wisdom for the future---this is the foundation stage. It s ucks. I went through mine in my thirties. Truth is life will always surprise you--test you and bad things will happen. What changes is how you cope and grow stronger. I'll get back to you I promise! BLESSINGS
You're very good Blmoon! I was just reading another thread you wrote and you definitely pick up on things very quickly! And you certainly hit the nail on the head in my case as well. It all has very much to do with the fact that I'm turning 30 in a few months. I've been feeling a sense of heightened uneasiness, for lack of a better word, these past many months, and it's this entire mixture of bad things happening, good things being delayed from happening for a very, very long period of time, and an extremely intense retrospective time, that's juggling around all my senses and emotions.
By the way, where did you get the phrase "darkest before the dawn"? I was absolutely blown away by that. Because I've been hearing, well okay not hearing, but I've had that phrase stuck in my head "it's always darkest before the dawn" for these past few days. And I have a feeling that my spirit guides and angels are trying to tell me this message. And that they've sort of put it in my head. 'Cause before these past few days I very rarely ever used that term, and now I've been saying it to myself 6-7 times these past 3 days. I've even been saying it to myself while I was making coffee in the kitchen
So that really meant a lot to me that you said that Thank you
That phrase really has great significance to me
I would still really like to hear your views on this matter as any insight or wisdom that you give me is very much a part of my learning process during this period. Thank you ever so much It's always a joy reading whatever you write You have a very nice calming and soothing aura/vibe in all your writings
Thank you again
P.S. Oh, and by the way, I'm very sorry for my above comment about your allergies. I've realized since then that it was an old post that I'd read. Lol:)
P.P.S. I hope you have a great day!
Allergies are still beating me up! Thank you for your kind condolences. I'm happy Spirit has paved the way as timeliness is relevent and I knew you needed to be in a place of hopefulness and validation to really FEEL the message I get for you as it is hard to make a hard time look good---it ends up not going down well so I followed my intuition to give it a few days as the right words would make all the difference. Thank you for the compliment as well about my words---I do try to answer as spirit speaks to me and it is why I do not try to answer every post but only the ones that resonate. Also, as a poet words are my gift. First, it will help you to have a realistic perspective about "problems" and disapointments. So much of childhood---specialy school is about doing the right thing and expecting to be rewarded. Religion tells us that--teachers--our parents. We spend so much of our growing up years trying to be a good girl or boy. AND we spend a lot of early years under the wings of family and out of the reality of responsability and the part of adult life that defys logic. It's a rude awakening and adjustment between the time of 18 and our thirties. We tend to have this idea of fairness in the world we take for granted---and we are often unprepared for bad people who seem so nice. We are taught to be compassionate yet it can turn on us when we trust friends who are good souls but have problems that spill over our lives. Lot's of mistakes and learning in the twenties and thirties---in our twenties we tend to really underestimate what can harm us and hold us back. Also, truth is the world is so not always logical and we assume the best and get blindsided a lot. Life is a process--not just mistakes but a learning place---we get wiser the hard way--or not. Some people get stuck in victim mode--think all bad things come at them---they never ponder their own desicion making as sometimes we make small choices that snowball us to a crises. First truth---that will set you free from that is to acknowledge that you chose your life before birth. Their are reasons for your challanges and the faster you take responsability for rising above the faster you'll progress. In my thirties was a lot of feeling stuck---feeling destined for more yet it was always out of reach--now I know that it was a truth--my higher self was aware of the future me but I wanted it then---the urge was there the desire but so many roadblocks--a great impatience! What you are encountering is a time of foundation---bootcamp. If I could advise myself then I would say please skip the self flogging part as it really slows you down. Regret is paralizing and freezes progression. Self love is essential. Recognize the mistake--learn the lesson and move forward. Energy is everything---it attracts what it puts out. Where you focus most is what comes to life. So worry can backfire Get stuck in the past and that's where you stay and will repeat. The thirties are about discipline---hard earned just plain persistant over and over pick yourself up and do it energy. The most horrible realization --yet liberating--- was the day it sunk in that no matter how good or perfect I was it never garantees happiness or guards you from bad things happening---you never get to a place were life gets easy.At first you may think well h ell just stick my head in the oven now! BUT it is that reality that demands you acknowledge a spiritual life---a purpose. Happiness does not come at you--it is a choice. There will always be chaos out there bumbing into you. Mastering the discipline to create happiness no matter what is what you are working towards.You were born with a purpose and life is not about getting all the answers one day and you are done--it is a process of constantly growing more and more--wiser---and enlightened. AND you do suffer less the more you survive---it is true what does not kill you leaves you stronger. At your age you have not gathered enough life expierience yet to know your own strength.Also, it helps to trust that sometimes even when bad comes "it's all good". Looking back I can see times I was devistated by a event but years later relised the blessing it was as it changed my path. So let more go and say to yourself well maybe there is a reason but I'm not there yet to see the blessing. Also, the biggest reason for problems and challanges is to grow stronger and wiser. Say, like me you may have been born with a gift for healing or even psychic. These are female energies of the heart but life will teach you that to be all heart is not enough to protect your gift. A big heart will have you being pulled by the neediest energies. Being younger we are ruled more by feelings and compulsions but we learn to beef up the male energy that keeps us whole--our own protector. Think of Saint Michael---the biggest heart must carry the biggest sword. In my later thirties I went into an isolated lonely time--like Jesus in the desert. Before that I was too nice--too trusting--too giving---saw the good in everyone---I often gave my energy away to the point of self sacrifice--I gave energy away without even knowing it! When you give too much at some point you are of no service to anyone. Big hearted souls fear being selfish or mean--they cannot stand to feel others suffer. In your thirties you are wise to learn the power of healthy detachment and self preservation and to know who will receive your help wisely and who will p iss it away.Think of all your relationships now and coming as a learning tool--to know people---to see past their words and know the truth. The hard part is that people often believe their own lie so you intuitively feel it as true too but it's only their perception. One must always keep distance to engage the head. A big heart needs a big head. Spirit wishes for you to first be kinder to yourself--you are a perfectionist and that will serve you later and bring success. Also, they encourage you to stop comparing yourself to a normal guideline. First, you need more free time than most--you need alone time. Do not allow anyone to deem you selfish--those who love and know you best will respect that in you. Do not go against the urges to walk away by yourself or to say no to an invitation. On the other side of this also know that everyone does have a shadow--a side of us that sabotages good things out of a fear born of a childhood wound we must heal. So, there will be times when we will be not willing to do the scary thing but something pushes us. The key is staying in balance as you have already heard---when we recharge ourselves in our own space we recognize the true urging and hear guidance. Never make an important desicion out of fear. Spirit says you are starting to get that one. Fear based desicions almost always turn out bad. How do you get rid of fear? That's the challange---emotion control. Emotions cloud intuition--distort perception. BOOTCAMP---lots of practice. Even I must excercise this---it never is a done deal---it is a managed state of awareness. This is the detachment part that serves you as a tool---to be able to step back from the drama of any situation and use your head. For me it means usually having my storm first--not denying the feelings but letting them fly--cry --scream--have a little pity party but make it brief----never fester or wallow long---you have your crazy then you get up and the head says--well--it is what it is. AND now what are you going to do with it. I believe the Goddess creed----you take a sh itty hand and you grow roses. You always figure out how do you make it work for you. Where is the lesson? How can you find the gift. INTENTION is a powerful energy. Your life is not all wrong it's really all good. Situations apear that most adress your weak spots. If self esteem is your low spot you will be drawn to abusers and users and free will will either allow you to accept that treatment or inspire you to love yourself enough to no longer attract that into your life. People intuitively know your boundries. Avoid guilt at all costs. I do not mean not to know a mistake or not to offer amends or opologize but that feeling guilt harms you and others when it festers long term as it closes the heart chakra and isolates you--it really is a selfish emotion. Here's an example---surely you have heard a man divorced with a child who doesn't call her even though his heart aches because he has great guilt and can only feel that emotion in her presence so he thinks it's better to not call at all! YET in his guilt he is hurting that child because she or he just wants them to call to be there. Instead that man rehashes his past--he failed--no money--forgot this--didn't do that. So he loathes himself so much he doesn't call his child---and that kind of guilt does harm to others--he thinks he's no good and deserves punishment--it makes him selfish as his child just wants him---it's about the child not the father. I give this example to you as a start on this part of your journey to gather wisdom about people. To start seeing beyound the lies people tell themselves and would try to have you believe. This is your time to be loving to yourself and self sufficient and your own good father and mother. This is your time to learn to say no without guilt--to grow a backbone to support your soft touch. This is the time for change---you crave it and it is going to happen. Change means doing things different. If the same event comes at you again again again---know that something different is called for. Even I get my bad days when depleted--it happens---as we think ok my energy is at half full I can do this but then some drama intervenes--or you get sick and bam--there you are depleted and honestly---we only have faithless--doubting--pitiful feelings when we are depleted. So know that truth and be able to tell yourself--ok---I'm just spent and empty but THIS TOO WILL PASS. Know what feeds your soul and get yourself filled back up. Say no to others when you are empty. Tonight---as a start--write down your beat up game plan. List the things that fill you up with joy. Like a RX medicine list. Then follow it next time you lose faith and can't see the light just under the horizon. BLESSINGS!
Ouch, that was really painful to read, lol But you were right on.
"It was bitter medicine, but the patient needed it", as they say
Thank you soooo much Blmoon. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me out of your busy schedule. I'm really, really grateful.
And there's so much truth, advice, insight, and life lessons in your post that I've read and re-read it 4-5 times now and there's still so much knowledge to be gained. I also have a feeling that there's still some things in there that I don't truly understand yet - but that I will, later on. Thank you so much.
And I've also noticed a few lines that can be read three-dimensionally, so that one 'line' actually applies to three different areas of my life in three different ways. It's quite wonderful - but still difficult, of course, to go through.
Thank you so much. Cause I've noticed, especially last weekend, that I already was beginning to apply much of the new knowledge and insight I've gained from you, in my life and in tackling my problems. I don't know if I'm doing it perfectly:) or in the best possible ways, but at least I'm learning and growing and developing
And actually the reason I haven't replied for so long was a mixture of being dumbfounded by the accuracy of your reading that evening (I even wanted to write a short post saying: "I'll get back to you tomorrow. I have no words.", lol:), and also some problems that arose that weekend, that I needed to tackle with "the new insight" --- but also I got an opportunity to go out and live life and be happy, meet new people and experience life. And that truly is what fuels my soul, and recharges me, and it was no doubt thanks to you (and the joy list!) that I was open to these new, and wonderful, exciting experiences. It really is about seeing the light in the darkness
Thank you also for your showing me my weak spots. One in particular, I can see Because it's a weak spot that is very painful for me to face because it's very painful for me to admit that I have it. And in the past when I've done readings for myself just online, you sort of focus on the positive things, the things that will inspire you, and you sort of turn a blind eye to the things that hurt or to the things that you're not proud of. I see now that I really needed someone else to open up the paper and show it to me black-on-white so that I couldn't hide from it, run away from it or be in denial about it anymore. It kinda hurts, but I'm really glad that it was you Blmoon who showed it to me, 'cause I think I really needed your soothing and healing way of speaking, to help me realize and accept that I have this weak spot and change what needs be changing. - Especially since my own way of speaking has been so hurtful, down and destructive recently - but thank you Blmoon and Spirit because now I'm remembering to talk to myself kinder. and to treat myself kinder. I remember thinking, that if Spirit told you this, then I'd better do it.
And, it really does make all the difference
And thank you last but not least for your encouraging words. Cause one of the things that really struck me during my first reading of the post was your mention of purpose. Cause in the darkness of those first days after my initial post the one thing that got me through it was a sense of purpose. This sense of purpose even lifted me above the regret, pain, and disappointment-of-life and just got me very focused. I was just working, and working, and working, (and daring!), on what was my life's purpose. And I see now that I had to be that low in order to focus on the purpose and to be brave enough to do something to move closer towards it.
And thank you for mentioning that we choose our life before birth because that really rang true with me. I do really feel that there are some things here that I'm supposed to do. And thank you also for mentioning that we somehow are driven and urged toward something, but we want things to happen sooner! ---- and have a great impatience! That's so true, lol And thank you for encouraging me with these words because I really was feeling very confused and I was considering that maybe I wasn't meant to be doing what I was doing and was thinking that maybe that I was on the completely wrong path all along (since there were "no" results) and that I should just pack up and go live, relax and have fun on a beach somewhere : ) Since I just recently found out that my north node is cancer (south node capricorn), I thought that maybe I was going against my north node (my life destiny) by NOT living on a beach somewhere, but then when you mentioned that Spirit had said that I was a perfectionist but that this would give me success in life, I was awe-struck, and then I knew that I was on the right path all this time. And that I'm just impatient:)
I also want to thank you and Spirit for telling me to stop comparing myself to a normal guideline. This meant so much to me -on 2-3 different levels, that I can't even put my gratitude into words. This really meant soooo much to me. Thank you:)
And last but not least I also want to mention that I was also completely blown away (in a good way!) by the fact that you mentioned Archangel Michael in your post. Because he has a great significance to me, and when you mentioned him it had great symbolic value and power to me. Before those 2-3 days I didn't know any of the archangels by name, but then all of a sudden when I was browsing online during those 2-3 days everywhere I looked there was Archangel Gabriel and especially Archangel Michael, who became more and more prominent. And then I began reading up on them. And normally I'm more of a spirit guide type of person, and don't really feel any connection with angels, but this was however really, really powerful and really recurring. So I thought that I'd better be quiet and put my doubts aside, and listen to what they're trying to say to me. And then I found out that Archangel Gabriel stood for (among other things) LIFE PURPOSE and that Archangel Michael stood for (among other things) STRENGTH & BRAVERY. And this was e x a c t l y what I was going through. And I kind of liked the fact that they were there right next to me helping me to move forward and to push through the hard and tough times. Thank you. Because your mention of Saint Michael (even though I know that he also stands for other things, like you mentioned in your post above, and which is one of the things that I "blocked out" or turned a "blind eye" to during my online readings, but which is very true and valid (and painful, ouch:-) but the fact that you mentioned him "out of the blue" gave me great significance because it meant that I wasn't going crazy, lol : ), and that there really is something he's trying to tell me, and that he's nearby and encouraging me to move forward and to be brave and strong. And that there's something he wants me to do. Maybe that's the meaning of all of this darkness and low point in those days? That I needed to hear some things that I wouldn't otherwise hear.
Thank you, thank you, Blmoon for your guidance and insight. I will definitely be reading and re-reading your post many, many more times, since there's so much wisdom, truth and enlightment in there, and because there are still many lessons in there that I need to work through to become a better person. And most importantly thank you for guiding me back on my way because I was seriously considering that beach-hut thing, lol:), but now I realize that I can do that on vacation or things like that, but that there's still some things I need to do here And that that is a part of my joy list! One of the things that recharges me when I'm depleted. And thank you, above all, for the fact that both you and Spirit made me - not just think - but BELIEVE that I could do what I feel I am supposed to do.
By the way, I remember, that in the shower, a week or so ago I was thinking these things through, and I felt as though my spirit guides or angels were trying to tell me a message to give to you, which was:
I get it now Blmoon.
It was such a strong message that I wrote it down on my phone, before I went out the door to do some errands, and I wanted to remember to write it at the end of my reply to you. Thank you Blmoon:)
Thank you, for all your help and guidance and insight. It has truly meant a lot to me.
I wish you all the best things in life and with everything! It truly is a wonderful gift that you’re giving us here. I'll still definitely be hanging around here on the forums, but I'm not too much of a "talker". I enjoy mostly reading I truly enjoy reading all the advice, wisdom, positivity, spirituality and gifts that everyone here shares with one another Thank you again, Blmoon! BLESSINGS AND LIGHT TO YOU TOO!
I want you to know---I live all my advice--again and again--it's a process, WORK---and if I have resonated a truth in you it is only because it has been my own truth---we are more universaly connected than we realise. To be HUMAN is the foundation of wisdom---awarerness is the realization of self love. We all have blind spots. The hardest part of being wiser is having to see our former "dumb" selves. The ego can hold us back. Ignorance is bliss? That's why people drag their feet towards wiser. REGRET is painful so the key to growing wiser is to never let regret or guilt root. Guilt is a form of self harm and it spills over to loved ones---so it serves no purpose---know better do better but never dwell on regret or guilt--those pull you backwards--serve no purpose and are toxic. The past is gone--the future does not exhist---all that is real is NOW. BLESSINGS!
Thank you Blmoon
I want to say thank you again for all your amazing wisdom and insight.
I wish you the best of light, happiness, hope, love and enlightment on YOUR Journey
WISHING YOU BLESSINGS AND LIGHT TOO!
May you have fair winds in your sails Blmoon & Godspeed,
With the utmost gratitude, LionessSun