Blmoon I need help please
I need your help with a big one. Today at work my assistant manager Trisha asked me to call a service 99 over the loud speakers. ( that means a shopplifter that needs to be followed or stopped)
I made the call and saw the guy she was following change directions with her following him so I called again and changed the location. Than I saw 2 young guys bagging groceries so I went to tell them to go help her.
I looked up and saw her and 5 or 6 employees walking this guy to the office to detain him when all of a sudden he broke free, jumped over things knocking things down and he was running straight to where I was standing, I wasn't thinking so I stood my ground, ducked down a bit and blocked his exit. He threw me to the ground and ran out the door where about 8 guys stopped him and took his backpack, but he fought his way free.
My manager came up to me and screamed Nancye don't ever do anything like that again you could have been hurt and it is against company policy to try and stop someone.
I went and found her when I got off work and told her I was so sorry and didn't think, just reacted to him running towards me and she said yo9u could have been badly hurt and you know better.
Now I am at home and I am afraid that I might get fired. I know it is against the policy, but like I said I was just reacting to him coming at me with people chasing him.
Please tell me I am just over reacting and it will be fine. I am off tommorrow and will go crazy worring about it.
I'm really distracted with deadlines right now but feel your worry. I know how you hate "being bad". I mostly feel that your fear is bigger than need be not because of you losing your job but because you are you--so sensitive and boy that was a very charged up scene----When that guy was running through you --you picked up his fear! Big big energy!!! Actually, the other employees set the tone--they detained him and started the chase--you were just following that lead. Nowbody knows what they will really do in a situation--it's not like you were at the register and chased him down---it was a a freak situation that probably will never happen again--you standing at the door as a guy is running out---you reacted without thought but knowing the outcome--it will register now to move out of the way. Your manager screaming was intense energy release as well--more about the charged situation than about you---she was just being the boss and her shouting instead of a calm conversation was not about you--she was amped up and if things go wrong it's her a ss on the line. What I see coming is a big meeting and a going over procedures. You will probably get another more calm talking to. I'm sure when you blocked there was a lot of yelling and stop him energy going on around you--and you felt it and reacted without thought. All you can do is assure them that if you had not been at the exit just then you never would have considered chasing him down--you just reacted to the panic mode going on---in other words--in your defense--it was a mob scene and you got caught up and in the end---everyone involved played a part that will be scrutinized at this meeting. I really feel you were not the only one who went against policy. You will be ok. BLESSINGS!
Thank you so much for your reply, I couldn't sleep last night and have been so affraid . I called the store today and talked to my friend in the office and she assured me that it was fine, but still it scares me.
You have said exactly the things I feel and have made me feel so much better about it, as bad as I feel about being in self checkout instead of produve I really need this job to keep things together, especially with all this Ron stuff.
Use this negative event to practice difusing fear. I deal with the same energy absorbing issue. High charged events stick withe me. The event will play over and over in vivid technicolor! You need to find the kind of distractions that help you wash away stuff like that. For me--if it's in the middle of the night I do the deep breathing--and reciting a mantra--like the "all ways us living love" or "It isgood to feel safe --it is safe to feel good". If it's daytime--music always helps me or yard work or going out alone and just doing something mindless like wandering a thrift store. Years ago, before I got better at calming myself I listened to tapes or CDs that have meditations or subliminl messages under music--you can buy them at a book store. Acknowledge that you are an empath and you connect with energy and absorb it more than others---I'm sure that thief was up all night as well--mind racing! And you are more psychic than you realize sometimes! Do something joyful. BLESSINGS!
Well I couldn't eat or sleep worring and when I got to my store I was so nervous I thought I would pass out, but nothing happened. A few people heard about it and asked if I was okay and a few that were involved said it was over and nothing is going to happen.
I felt much better about it all and I am sure I will never do that again, but today as I was getting off work the boss was in her office reviewing the tapes for something, I don'[t know what but I got a little affraid it might be that again.
I only know about it because a customer said her phone was stolen and asked if someone could look up the security tape and see if they could see who and my assistant said the boss was looking at an old tape and would be for awhile.
I asked him if it was about the other day and he said no, but I am not sure I belive him.
Careful , were your energy focuses! FEAR is a negative energy that can attract what you do not want--it clouds your perception. I'm sure the boss is more full of worry than you--she has the responsability on her shoulders and must answer to the higher ups and the police report.. Not only that but now SHE is afraid for her job---so must do more to feel better as well----looking at tapes is something she is expected to do now and then and normaly, you would not notice or care. Her job was running smooth as usual--now she had a crisis and wants to make sure to be on top of everything. She has to write a full report for the store's documentation and can you imagine that headache as she must choose her words---keep herself safe from wrong doing and mostly it all happened so fast that she is not even sure of the details. Nancy you must accept that side of you that gets caried away by fear and hates being a bad girl and stop yourself. What strikes me most about your vulnerable position is that in your job position you seem to be isolated from the higher-ups. Personaly, I always have a close relationship with people in power over me. It gives you peace of mind knowing they know you well--you know them well and can predict their behaviour and as well explain it so you don't get the wrong meaning or take personal events that are not. You seem isolated in your job. But you are generaly happy with the job. Be carefull, because other people can pick up your fear--discomfort and not know exactly what it is about but will FEEL uneasy around you and it will work against you. The boss has lost sleep thinking what if? Suddenly the reality of being in charge is felt---what if you did get hurt? What if the theif pulled a weapon etc. Now she has to process all this and will be under scrutiny by her bosses. This may go away for the employees as it is not there responsability but no t is not over for your boss. She is dealing with paperwork and details. Be less nervouse around authority figures---see them as just like you ---it is there position to avoid being too friendly with employees on a personal basis as it's part of the job to be in a position to not be personal or swayed by others but really---they are not some scary person---you are not in grade school going to the principles ofice. You are not bad and about to be caught. Fear is a deep nemesis for you and I feel you always carry it just under the radar and it bursts out full blown during events that let it loose.Get out of your fear long enough to feel the bosses position. Be less isolated by your own emotions and you will be able to intuitively get answers to others actions. You can choose to FEAR the reveiwing the tape is about you or you can choose to expect that the boss would be dealing with this event in a way a boss has to. That's why not everyone is a boss! Bosses are constantly under scrutiny--they have power but there's a price---they must swallow their personal thoughts and keep their bosses happy and bosses get dumped on a lot---they grow thick skins. She yelled at you but on her side she will be critisized by many and fears losing her own job. As far as losing your job---if that time ever comes you must trust that there is a plan bigger than you and it is meant to be. Trust that its all good. Get out of your own isolating fear long enough to imagine other scenerios. Don't always assume the worst. Once your boss gets through documenting this mess---answering to her bosses there will be some kind of meeting. All you can do is give off good vibes---that will help you keep your job. BLESSINGS!
As far as I know the incedent was never even reported so I know I shouldn't worry, I just do.
I have another question for you. I got a call early this morning that my mom is really sick and in the hospital. She has been sick for awhile with a bad cold and cough, and now is passong out and bleeding from her behind.
My sister went over this morning to take her to the hospital.
Will she be okay?
I stupidly sent Ron a message, old habit telling him about it and he said loosing her was the worst part of our seperation.
That hurt me really bad to think he feels her loose more than that of me and the boys.
I think Ron was trying to be nice but it came off wrong----I don't think he realized how by saying that about losing your mom he ignored losing you as number one loss. He wasn't being very connected or considerate and sounds like him.You should have said--gee maybe you should have married her instead of me. I hope you told him the truth--that that remark insulted your pain and loss and this divorce has been a painful nightmare. You do deserve not to be hurt by his detached remarks. I pick up that your mom is very sick but not for all the same reasons. I think theres a medication issue---she's been taking something for her cough and cold---that is not working and causing more harm than good----she needed more of an expectorant but instead been drying up her mucus. She has a seriouse infection. I get a feeling doctors are conserned she has possible heart related congestion--they look for the worst possibility so expect heart tests and they will be looking for cancer and will be running lots of tests. Did she recently go on new blood pressure meds? They will be looking for internal bleeding as the first cause of the fainting. The over use of certein cold meds can cause the bowel to dry up and can cause a blockage or obstruction. I think she will get some relief and be better in the hospital but they will find a long term health issue that has gone udetected. I wish I could tell you I feel she is going to be treated and ok but I feel more of a long term fight to get her health back---she will be more comfortable in the hospital but is going to need care for a long time. I don't see her suffering though---all the tests will be annoying but she will feel more at rest and comfortable. Spirit says she is prepared for this--and may even say that to you or another family member. I will pray for her and hope she surprises everyone despite my impression.
Well I had hoped you weren't right, that maybe you don't really know things, just a friend who tries to help. I mean Ron never did come home and its been years, no regret no I'm sorry and he is still with her and seems to be staying there., but you do know things. I don't know how.
They sent my mom home yesterday, they said it was just a clot in her colon and they cleared it out, she felt better and they sent her home.
I got a call this morning that she fainted again last night and this time she spent the night on the bathroom floor before my brother found her, covered in blood and wrapped in the mat for warmth.
She is back in the hopsital this time in icu and they think maybe it is cancer.
I'm so sorry Nancy. My impressions make sense now with what you said. As I was getting mixed messages about possabilities and guesses----Spirit never wishes to upset you unless it serves a healing purpose or to move you forward. I think initialy the doctors considered the cold relief connection---a dry bowel--temporary blockage with isolated bleeding. Also, I am very nervouse to give seriouse health predictions that serve no real purpose. What I strongly got was that your mom was better off in the hospital and would be much more comfortable there. I also got that your mom has been silently uncomfortable for some time---we all do that. You get sick---have scary symptoms but always just wait another day because most stuff usually passes on its own. I did get they will be looking for cancer more closely---but they are also considering a broken bloodvessel and no blockage --just a tear that clotted but is not healing---her blood could be low---like when you lack iron or vitiman C and bleed easily. I would assume from my own opinion that they did a scan or x-ray when admitting. This a problem for me being more personal with you---my head wants to intervene. I will stick with first impressions and the main one that was the strongest was that your mom is sicker than first thought but finally out of her misery as she has not really let on just how bad she was feeling. I also feel she played it down to the doctors as well. Does that sound like your mom? Is she a stoic trooper? Spirit does not say if it is cancer but still says that her condition either way is going to take more care and healing than originaly hoped for. Even if it is just a ruptured bowel---that is seriouse and has to heal as the body uses the bowel everyday--you can't just stop using it---they will feed her fluids through IV's to slow down the bowel. They also fear more bleeding if they do a scope so I think I'm mostly picking up the conversations between doctors. Right now the loss of blood is the most seriouse condition to deal with and they must treat that first. The most positive truth I can give you is despite the tests and unknown your mom is really very relieved as her suffering is eased in the hospital. I know you do not always believe me but that's ok. I can tell you that during the ten years I had my wonderful psychic advisor I doubted plenty but in the end she was always right and when she exactly wasn't she still was in another way as in retrospect the message inspired me to do what needed to be done. After she passed away I had my angry days when things popped up that she never warned me about but the emotion always gave way to the wisdom behind why spirit chooses what to tell or not tell.--- and she still is around me. She never told me my son would die and honestly---I am very greatful as what purpose would that have served? It would have been very cruel. It only reenforces the fact that it was his time and when its your time it's your time. I believe spirit only makes predictions that you can use to change something. As for Ron---that story has not played out yet but remains the same----it just can't happen fast enough for you. And he is not that happy with her---in fact, their relationship is very different than they had anticipated. He's gone downhill and you have climbed your but off and have done a very good job surviving in the most empowering and positive way. That's all the control anyone has. He will say the words you would have loved to hear when it really mattered---but in the end you will almost laugh in his face at his lame timing---a day late and a dollar short! I will pray for your mom---but I'm being shown many loving spirits around her right now. They are saying to her let go you are NOT a bother--you are sooooo stuborn---let us take care of you----I feel a great peacefulness around her and she is allowing it in. She has been in stoic pain too long. BLESSINGS!
Yes my mom has always been one to put a smile on her face and hide her pain and fears, ALWAYS.
She has been unhappy with me since Ron left that I don't seem happy and that I would even from the beginning consider forgiving him.
Even when we lost my dad years ago she was okay, helping us to cope and worried about how sad we were.
I have noticed for the last year or so that she wasn't quite herself and seemed older and more fragile, but she is 85.
They are still doing a lot of test on her now and keeping her on no solid foods, but even a cup of tea hurt her yesterday and made her bleed.
My sister who always takes care of everyone is faslling apart now, and I know even though I am 52 she wouldn't tell me how bad this is.
Ron tried to talk to me yesterday, my fault for contacting him, just makes it hurt worse so I am ignoring his calls and texts.
I tell you, I can;t imagine a time when it won't matter to me to hear him say he was sorry and wrong, or that he still loves me
I'm sorry Nancy but as I see it your mom decided a long while back that she would be in charge of her body. I am getting that she has had bleeding for some time but said nothing. She avoided eating to avoid going to the bathroom so the bleeding and fasting is behind the fainting and sadly the pain was enought to pass her out so thank God she is finely not in control of this needless suffering and in the hospital. Also, she told the doctors what SHE wanted or didn't want. Your sister surely has known on some level your mother needed to seek help but your mom could not be persuaded and your sister is too close to the situation and is frustrated with the fear of loss as well as guilt. But really it's not her fault and your mom made her own choice and is just being who she has always been. You know now that this has come up I wonder if this ties in with the big dire health crises I saw looming but honestly felt it connected to Ron. Or maybe I shouldn't think too much and it's a coincidence as I still get a bad health issue vibe from Ron. Weird--I get a bleeding issue as well he's ignoring---just a little thing he's thinking no big deal. Maybe this issue with your mom will get him thinking more seriouse. If you do speak to him and it's a good moment try just asking him non chalant---how have you been feeling lately? I noticed you didn't look yourself last time I saw you--is everything ok? Don't say it in a overly concern from the heart way but more detached. I keep getting the number 3. I remember that number coming up before. As for Ron and hearing the words----altho you may feel for the moment a satisfaction it would be so short lived and mean nothing by morning. It would not change a thing. More likely it will make you laugh at yourself and a big light bulb will go off. Again, I'm sorry for this scary time with your mom but happy she is getting some relief. We should all be lucky enough to see 85. She lived her life her way and has no regrets. What more can anyone ask for? Also, I do pick up this IS the beginning of a whole new cycle of Changes that seem to come bam bam bam---all at once and Ron is in the mix. But, you are exactly were you are supposed to be Nancy and are very ready and prepared--you did it! You may not realise it now but one day looking back you will see the growth spurt and apreciate how hard you worked and how much it all makes sense. BLESSINGS
Just wanted to give you an update on whats going on.
They released my mom after 2 nights in the hospitsl telling her it was nothing and surgery to look further would be worse for her than just letting it be.
She is feeling better for now, but of course I am still worruied sik about her.
I got my evaluation at work a couple of days ago, and they gave me an incredible review in all catigories. I exceded expectations and set the mark for others to follow, always on time and set the bar high as far as everything I do. I go beyond what is asked of me and treat cutomers great.
It is the best review I have had in 35 years.
I am taking a yoga class with a friend from work to get me out of the house and maybe help baslance some of the thoughts raging through my head.
I am still so depressed that I am thinking maybe I need to see my doctor and get back on some antidepresstion meds.
Drew and I aren't getting along and I feel like I do everything for everyone and get nothing back
TAPE THAT REVIEW TO YOUR MIRROR!
And from now on--everytime you pass a mirror send yourself a big kiss. Wink and say hey gorgeouse! I sense the depression thing is hormones. As for drew---pretty normal. Young men test your patience---full of attitude--they know everything and nothing. All you can do is keep strong--it's a bumpy ride. Sorry so short--I'm off to work. BLESSINGS!
Well yesterday I had my first yoga class, I went straight after work and met my friend Sandy there. The class was kinda small and I was excited to be there thinking maybe it might help me find myself alittle.
I loved it, it was hard at times and today I am so sore, but last night wehn I woke up I used my breathing to go right back to sleep.
The last 3 nights I have woke up at exactly 4 am. Not sure why and it is iritating, but last night I went right back to sleep.
I have to work on Eastyer this year, my mistake I put in for a floating holiday and forgot to make a request as well. I didn't understand that she neede both, but everyone askede for it off, so I will work.
Easter was always one of my families best holidays.. Ron and I would take the boys up into the Santa
Cruz mountains and have a big egg hunt in the forest and then a camp fire and steaks. I miss all that so much it hurts, but am trying to not dwell on the past so much.
CAn you tell me how long before I might find a man to spend some time with, I am so lonely. I know I probably wear some of my past , but I try to be happy at work.
Well I am figuring alot of my problems out, first of all It's not Ron I need to forgive for hurting me, but I need to forgive myself for letting him, for allowing him back the first time he cheated, for being so unsure of myself that I believed him. when I shouldn't have., for needing the regret, the love the apology.
Secondly I need to figure out where I belong in this life. I have no real friends and my kids are old enough that I am more irritating than neccesary, I mean they like all that I do, but don't really think of it as something nice just what I am suppposed to do.
I have friends at work, but need my soitude after so I come home and it is not in my comfort zone right now to go out and search for more, but I know I need to.
I feel very lost and unnessasary right now.
Said like a true crone!!!
first--hugs hugs hugs!! You DO get it. Your life WILL improve. Everyone who leaps up to another level of enlightenment goes through the big BETRAYAL passage. Where they see clearly siffting through the ashes that no one can betray you unless YOU betrayed yourself first. I had a hard time with that one! I was in my late forties. At the time the pain and atermath of adjusting was so laborouse that I just could not see it and actually felt insulted but the whisper from Spirit woud not go away and all good roads led me back to that TRUTH. There are books a plenty that include THAT chapter. It was a lonely time but then like all seasons it changed. I'm in a transition right now "family wise" as well. But determined to rewrite that story. Woke up with sad miss the family unit clebration thing---really---it's just trying to hang on to the past as if the best is over and not allowing the new future to manifest. But Nancy---your feelings are universal for many. My dearest friends have either died or their lives are so tied up on a different path that I too have a bit of an empty space. I too struggle with not being nessasary on a low day--really. BUT I know those feelings are not truth but my shadow side that NEEDS to be needed and needs to achieve or do SOMETHING tot be worthy of life. I tell that voice to shut up blah blah blah. Your boys are just now tasting freedom and for awhile they will run with it and at times be horribly self centered and act like they forget your alive! BUT really they feel a safe distance and know you are there ALWAYS so it's easy for them to take advantage of that. Then after their wild learning curve winds down they will suddenly say to themselves that mom's advice made mature sense and they move into maturity and will come back to you and a new door of friendship and closeness opens. AND that circles around as well---like for me--your children will have children and after with your help will become more mature and again go through a big independance stage of focusing on THEIR family and will pull away again---they will want their holiday traditions and sons will start honoring their wives wishes---as they should. And so here I am like you Nancy in the empty place or better lets call it the open place--Like Spring---fertile meaning we have decided to nurture--plant something---look forward to what can fill up the new space. OR we can kneel there sobbing in the dirt. I had about a three minute cry this morning because emotions are not bad when a conciese choice. Tears are good for you! Personaly, my door is OPEN--I have that residency in May---so may be meeting new friendships---and I am feeling I've come out the otherside of my son's death. Not to say it EVER goes away--that pain. I think May will be more full of possability for you as well. Trust in the future! Embrace changes. BLESSINGS!
I know this is someone else's question and i don't like to intrude but I have messaged several times and I really would appreciate it if you could give me some guidance as to what is going on with my life. I am pretty desperate. I hope nancyeann you won't mind. I apologise sincerely.
I feel so depressed nothing is working out for me right now, I don't know what to do to turn my life around and I just feel despair.
My date of birth is 18.2.77
You gave me a reading many years ago and you gave me so much hope even though i was facing such a difficult time then. I could really use your advice right now.
One of my problems is a relationship that is on the verge of breaking down (his d.o.b 16.4.82). I don't know if this is right for me or not but at the moment with me feeling so miserable nothing is making sense to me, even with this relationship.
I just want to get myself out of this misery that i'm feeling.
Can you please help me?