I need your knowledge and opinions if you can?
Hey T-7 sure Im always here......What can I do for you??
Well...can you just talk to me about some of things that come with being in a some what lengthy relationship with a cancer male?
And now some specific questions......like why does a cancer man always want to know where you are at? When they apologize do they absolutely mean it? When they get upset why do they get Soooooooo upset? And the biggie, how can they treat a person with contempt(not me but his ex)? And how do I possibly let him know that bothers me?
T7 I hope I can give you some insight......
It's insecurity......sometimes it's not you, could be his pass relationships or childhood experiences....But if you are a spontaneous Taurus Female that likes to surprise your man, he could be up to no good (hint). Lets face it our Cancer Men are real good at shieding there feeling & secerts..
Ex: My "Z" was raised by his Dad, and he does have a relationship with Mom, but not like a Mom & Child bond should be.....He's ex well he had back experience with her, she's cheated on him, and he's caught her in bed with another man, and they had 2 children which was involved in a ugly CPS issue.....So yes they will have contempt and refused to give that person the benefit of the doubt..
When they say "Im Sorry" depends on there tone of voice, only you know your man..!! Regardles how it was said they expect you to except it, which is hard for Taurus Female to do.. Especially if we feel they have crossed a boundary they never have done before.....
Why they get upset it's because they feel misunderstood, and we are optimistic. or you listened to him gave your opinion..In a way he knows you are right...Doesn't want to admitt it.....
My friend our Cancer Men are real good at sweeping us off our feet, and we must remember to that we to can sweep them off theirs.......calm tone of voice over dinner, works for me. When he like to get snuggly.
I hope I was of some help.....
FYI: I had to rewrite this over for some reason what I wrote didn't post...Ugh!!
TW8 - Thank you!! i do know how important tone is. I also do my best to just use a soft, steady tone with him. Then only time I was raise my voice is when I am excited!
I am 99.99% sure he is not cheating. I leave out the .01, bc well...I am not a young pup anymore and I know anything is possible.
I do know he means his apologies. His tone says it and his body language. But, I know what you are saying about we Taurean women, the issue is not the apology, but the act itself. I have never felt the need for apologies, bc I think they have more to do with the person who has to give them not the receiver. But, I also think for him to apologize is a big deal, bc he always thinks he is right! lol Combine that with me, who always knows I am right....well.......lol
I do not know if we will ever be on the same page regarding people we dislike, but I do believe we are good at realizing how our individual differences.
T7 How weird is that...because I think the same about Z& I we never see eye to eye on things, always disagreeing before agreeing......Maybe that the spice in the relationship, and why we are thought of as being stubborn, we are not so quick to agree...lol
Im glad your 99% sure of the non-cheating, Im not no young pup either (40's), and I once though like you to.....Until 1day I heard different......I received a phone call from his cell, heard things I sudden have
One thing is I know we also see our individual differences, and if you have that. Then he will understand your feelings.....
Today is our Anniversary 14 yrs married, and this yr in October will be 20 of being together, I waited a long while before saying I do.....
Hey TarusWomen8 & 7 Can you please respond back to my post? It is also about a Cancer guy...I'm new to all of this and could really use some advice.
I've read post from both of you. Especially 7 and I can tell that we all think on the same lines. I trust your views and I just need someone to give it to me st8 the way only a Bull can.
TW8 - Happy anniversary!! May I just say, I can understand why you waited a long time.......
I will be 44 this year. I am thankful that we crossed paths!
CC - I will, but I am only on for a few more seconds, I have an appt....I will check later tonite!
T7 I feel the same way, about us crossing paths.....I will be 43 this yr.....
CC- I will read thread and give back to ya......O and Weclome...
Oops get back with ya.....
T7 Thanks for wishing us a Happy Anniversary....
No problem darlin!! So.....I really took a chance today...
Ok....so remember when I said 99.99%...well...there was reason why I was holding back that .01......there is a coworker of mine, whom I adore. She is single, very attractive and we are very good friends. Anyway...she and J have become friends through me. And well....he has never flirted with her, there was just something that made me stop, watch and go hmmmm.....her and I are very good friends. Really close. I have always thought that my fears were just that...fears. My own personal insecurities...etc....
So, I confronted J today.........by text, he came right over to me.....to..ready for this...talk it out...!! Right then and there I knew I was just being paranoid for no reason. I was not bitchy, more matter of fact.....and well...he never once tried to apologize or stammer, he simply said we are friends.......and we have communicated all day..by his insistence......so..any thoughts or input is appreciated!
T7 pat yourself on the back for confronting your fears......Im proud of you. It showed him the strong women he truely has on his hands....
Hmm.....When I found out about "Z" & the other women, it was 7/09. I called him after I heard what I heard, and confront him about it, he said it was a co-worker etc...etc....But I knew better..i know eventually it was gonna come out, because he knew I knew......He's behavior was something I had never seen towards me....I love Z...I used to tell him "My Eyes Belongs to You Darlin". I waited for a about a week until I decided to seach more. Then thats when I faced my fears by call Her.......This women wasn't my friend, but just by the tone of her voice, she was scared, she said were just friends.......to this day Z say the same thing.
Well I don't by that because him & I understand we have a pass, and agreed at anytime a friend from the opposite sex came around, we would tell each other. He keep her from me, for a month...Not cool aboundary he shouldn't of crossed.
I don't think J would cheat......Not with someone close to you....because he knows you be observent....again girlfirend only you know your man, and his reaction toward in action...
Keep your eyes open....
How are you doing now? I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you.
I have to be honest and say, my fears, well, I allowed them to be there, bc blaming him, would have been so much easier for me if this ever ends. See, I realized that being a victim all of my life, allows me to easily manifest that scenario even when it isn't valid. Not healthy and sounds a little crazy, but I know it's true.....
I have so much more work to do on myself, I am just wondering if I will ever truly be able to break free.
There sure are a lot of threads about Cancer men on this board. One has to wonder if the same woman is posting multiple threads about Cancers under different handles.
I don't think so...a couple of times it happens when people forget their username or log in, but they always say...hey...I was so and so......
Im sorry to me so long to reply, I had to think of what I was gonna say.......
It has not been easy, and I feel he lies to me. I have a hard time trusting anything he says. Mainly when he tells me, how he feels about me. I don't believe him; I believe he loves, but NOT in love with me. i feel some where he has lost those feeling, even though he says he hasen't, The fact the we have kids, and built a stable home, which something he's never had as a kid....Means some thing to him.....I think & feel he is with me only for the security. I take care of everything hm, kids, bills......and Im tired of doing it all. There a lot of other things, than the other women, the disrepect towards me, verbal abuse like he has no love or care for me...Ugly things he has said. Things you just don't say to someone who you say you love.....i told him I want a divorce. I still do. I don't want to married to him or anyone. He tells me he is never leaving & is not going anywhere.....i told him all this before I found out my ex-husband has Cancer.....Thats when I started seeing a change in "Z", because I have a disabled child, that attends college, and needs assistance. My ex helped out a lot with him. Since my ex is having to do kemo...he's not able to do the things he used to do. So "Z" stepped up to the plate which I was surprised.....Because he's my son, and I was planning on taking him myself.....
Now that this change has come about, I feel I need to work on myself. I want to know why my husdand found intrest in talking with another, I know i need to come to the trems that I may never know why..??? I'm not the most attractive women out their.....I feel my body appearance isn't. I started exercising doing more thing for myself.......The fact is I still feel that same way about my marriage....Im not gonna lie and say, that we haven't talked about it. I believe it naturly wrk on it's own.....
Hope all is well T7.......
Hey all you taurean women (T7, TaurusWomen8 and u 2 CC!)..Cancer men..well I'm 18..and I know they say Cancer Males understand themselves as they get older..however..being linked to astrology has helped tremendously in developing self-knowledge of my self-being.
Cancer men are super-sensitive..so we are attached to things. As crab-representative people..we of course do not have claws..only our emotions are very clingy..we have so much depth in feelings that it is hard to sum up..we feel & as INTUITIVE as we are, we often KNOW that no one could possibly understand us alot of times..it usually takes a person who is in touch with their feminine side & most times someone who is overall just able to LISTEN..cos we r good listeners ourselves - and knowing that people can't interpret our depth - is what results in our sulky responses, quiet almost detached charisma in effect sometimes (as we r normally very charismatic)
Us Cancer men..we liken our womanly-lovers to our mother's portraits..the younger version of course :).. but that we're needy (biggest misconception) - we're actually independent.especially when we're left to fend for ourselves. Our shell is our cage.we recharge, hibernate, excessively think in comfort & then come out to play even with unsteady, sentimental nerves that we so heavily bare..I emphasize again..no we're not needy people...as long as women give us mighty good bedroom-activities, support us in our decisions (gives us confidence) and of course cook & feed us well..there's nothing more MOST of us cancerian men desire. And we are very loyal. The ones who cheat have baggage..but we r known to pick up from our mistakes after sidestepping backwards and realising them & then of course we do EVERYTHING to please the ones we love. The compromise & make-up bond & sex is our canny interest. We love to nurture...so clinging is just a part of us.
When we get upset..we are like..well the men..we're like 'women' in men's bodies basically, for the most part (and trust me i'm straight..but I know this for a fact). We feel deeper than the average person. When we love. IT IS HEAD OVER HEELS..even more than cancerian women factually..there's no funny business. And I think we 'own' emotions too much resulting in sulkier behaviours than others - those of us cancer men.. as I've heard being commented severally.. that with "age..have better control over emotions transpires' that part in this context of being-a sadist-overall is actually true..we Cancerian guys outgrow & become stronger with time & more sufficiently composed to take on a heavy emotions & relations w/ women become easier. We often change for you..how many of them..are countless that become better & responsible cancerians for their women. (married/not).
Most important thing..that I must bring to the table..because I know a lot of taurean women specifically women give Cancer Males slack for this..It is understandable - let me explain this forthcoming issue:
Cancer is a CARDINAL (ACTIVE) star-sign..as much as we're cuddly and home-governed (just as Taurus is). And being cardinal (original and innovatively active) we often feel the need with women we come to care about (even though we're shy us cancer men r) to proceed very thoroughly in spontaneity because we fear..1. Rejection (in any form..meaning..when we move at whatever rate of speed..slow or fast..as long as you're for the ride..we'll know ur heart is really in it..it's almost a test of the waters..not just for manly control)...but not only that..not only that..2. We as Cancer Men know that if we can get passed the shy stage and dibble-dabble small-talk..we can reach a place where we become totally open with our partners (that's why Taurus women are such a good partners for Cancerian men..they thrive on trust as well)...3. Mis-matching & Fate's misfortune (we hate to feel that someone will take our partners away from us..whether it be distance in living situation..or another partner..or life's circumstances, etc.). SO becuase of these 3 things most probably we kind of take control & be leaders (active - cardinal) in ensuring we pave the way for a meaningful future with our loved ones by manoeuvre 2 steps a time (crab-like)..
Others may perceive us to be basking in the beautiful moments we have (romantic as we r) to cherish the fire and have fun spontaneously..but we are really thinkers of tomorrow..we want you in our beds tomorrow, the night after..and 10 years after that. We too taurus..require & crave SECURITY..just as much as you do. Unfortunately fate has it that taureans are abit slower than us in matters concerning the heart - as taurus being "fixed earth" - and we being cardinal "water" - are taken by the rapid current of heat within our hearts..in simple terms - we know it's better to say what we're feeling when we're feeling it immediately (else we'll hold it in FOREVER as our burden to live with) ..and move as speedy as we're moving in love bcos we know we possibly won't be able to express the surmountable love we feel later on.........
which explains why all your Cancer men suddenly get cold feet later on..disappearing & reappearing etc. They love you. Heart rates just pump different btw Cancer & Taurus..but luckily & I mean LUCKILY...We have the ability to transfer our emotional liquidity to you rocks of beauty that can hold & understand us patiently - and we in turn melt your beautiful rocks with our loving touch in approaching u & leave soft-spots where you can be nurtured willingly..cos deep down you're big mooshballs like us.
So just have the patience you lovely taurean women are known to have ..with us Cancer men.I promise at least 8/10 of us will be worth the wait. We don't really ever pinch. We just cross our claws together and hide under our shells for hope & long for a calm lake to swim with our beloved partners..even if we're just 'kissing another 1 of the frogs'..that's just how sentimental we are. Our shells are 90% of the structure that hurts people. As vulnerable as WE are..we can't afford to live without it..but you can come live under it with us..that's what we want..someone willing to come ashore with us..even if they are bull-sized & bigger than us..there's alot in store that we hide in that shell..Be understanding..& just love us..even from afar..cos we know when you love us. Intuition has it for us.
Peace & love everyone..Hope I helped ^ _ ^ (Your friendly neighborhood crab)
WE'RE MISUNDERSTOOD......p.s.....WE LOVE YOU TAURUS. you..what..we..need.
Cancer teen - I will get back with you!
TW8 - I am so sorry I have not checked this! I agree with you that I do not see how someone could be in love with someone then cheat on them. I find that impossible. I do not think it is impossible though for them to realize they made a huge mistake. The problem would be trust and are they going to make that mistake again?I know that j treated his ex horribly, through out their whole marriage. But I also know that he was never in love with her. I do believe that he grew to love her, but that is completely different.
I can understand why you want to work on yourself. All of us need to do that all the time in my opinion. But, at the same time, which how this can ever happen with a cancer is beyond me, there has to be resolve with what he did to you. I know enough to know that for cancers to talk about hurting anyone is virtually impossible, much less their spouse or partner.
The reason I say that is I am struggling with that right now in my relationship. I am leaning towards the fact that THAT could be a deal breaker for me. I NEED to communicate, I have to have the air clear, I can't function when things are in turmoil and disarray, I shut down. I will not do that for any man ever again.
So, just like you, I am looking inward to see what this all means for me.
I wish you well....I hate that you are going through this, but I know you are strong and wise!