A very confusing situation with a Virgo.

  • Hello,

    New to the forum here, so nice to meet you all.

    I am currently in the middle of a very confusing situation with a Virgo friend (4th September 1982) who also happens to be my boss. I'm a Gemini (10th June 84)

    We have always had a very flirty, touchy feely relationship and there had always been an attraction between us, and when he split up with his girlfriend over Christmas we ended up spending a night together.

    Anyway he got back together with his girlfriend, which I fully supported him with, but over January and February the flirtation and sexual tension between us really began to build up and after a few drinks, we ended up in bed together. I felt horrible about it, I have never slept with someone who was taken before.

    He gave me a lift home (on his way to pick up his girlfriend) and he said he felt guilt but didn't regret what happened, he also said that he had never cheated on anyone before but there was just something about me and that he knew it was wrong but he just wanted to hold me. He asked my why I thought it had happened and I said I didn't know, which was true. And just before I out the car

    he said what will be will be with us.

    The thing is since then we have both been noticing how much we have in common same likes, we both have quite dark pasts and we can talk to each other about anything. Which I have never been able to do with anyone before.

    He really seems to miss me when I'm not there, I had to go to hospital for a bit and we spoke on the phone most days, and when he saw me again he gave me a big hug and told me how beautiful I looked.

    Just after I got back a load of us from work went out for drinks and although I don't remember much, he told me the next day that I had said he was really hot and seemed really flattered that I had said that. He also said that it made a change me being nice to him

    Anyway I have been really confused lately about how I feel about him I have never had this closeness or connection with anyone and I have been trying really hard to keep him at arms length because he is my boss and he has a girlfriend.

    So when went shopping for work stuff this week and he grabbed my bum, I told him that was sexual harassment, his response was “it's not like your anything special”, which he said with such venom then smiled and said let's go lover.

    I sent him a text later that night and told him that his behaviour was unfair on his girlfriend and I don't like being treated like a piece of meat. He called me straight away and sounded really upset that he had offend me and a bit distressed that I was angry with him. We talked for a bit about what happened between us and he said that he did love his girlfriend (but he didn't sound convinced) he also seemed to gloss about what he said about there being something about me and then he started texting funny pictures of his dog, this continued the next day, he seemed to be going out of his way to make me happy and stay in contact with me

    He also never refers to his girlfriend by her name it's always her or she.

    I guess what I want to know is does he like me? We have such a deep connection is it just friendship or is it more?

    I'm so confused, any advice would be very appreciated. (i'm a Gemini 10th June 1984)

    PS - I hope this all makes sense and sorry for the long rant.

  • This guy is not sure what he wants. When things get too serious with his girlfriend, he looks around for some light-hearted fun (and sex) with you. It takes him a long time to trust and believe that someone who says they love him really does, so his dallying with you is just in case his girlfriend gets sick of him and ditches him - like you are his 'plan B' in case of emergency. He feels a bit jinxed in relationships and is very wary of them, tending to equate love with control. Once things get too personal, all his insecurities kick in. He wants depth and loyalty in a relationship, but sometimes the lure of non-personal 'forbidden fruit' is too tempting. He craves being the centre of attention and likes to have a second warm body to give it to him, in case the first is too busy or not giving him as much affection and sexual satisfaction as he wants. Affairs give him a rush and make him feel temporarily loved, but not fulfilled in the end.

    Don't settle for being this man's 'Plan B'. You are already in trouble with him being your boss. You need to keep it professional because it is not going anywhere romantically.

  • Wow i concur with that!! hard to being working with him though

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