Second time around?

  • Please tell me if you see a future for me(6/19/72) and my ex (6/10/77).

    Thank you!

  • This relationship often involves a search for self. Questions about identity, fulfillment, and the soul will predominate here, with the two of you not only sharing your personal journeys but pondering your relationship as it deepens and grows. Although you may seek external goals, your relationship is more likely to try and please itself through inner exploration, plumbing psychological, emotional and perhaps spiritual realms. Your ex-partner has a shadow side that longs for understanding - being a good and sympathetic listener, you are just the person to counter his fear of looking foolish and to help him to know himself. The emphasis on inner growth here is also just the ticket for you, being so profound and thoughtful as you are, for you will benefit from your partner's enthusiasm and from his ability to share ideas and information.

    Your love affair was likely to have centred around your shared need to be accepted and understood. If you didn't do that for each other, the relationship (and any future relationship) would fall apart. You Reflection1 often know a good deal about yourself but your ex will need a better understanding of himself, especially his suppressed dark side, before the relationship will really begin to be successful and stable. He must face his issues with being tied down, not run from them or hide them from others. A complex process is often at work here - investigation of each other's individual personalities can broaden into a richer understanding not only of the relationship but of other people and even of life itself. Expressing love and intimacy is the reward of such a process. Marriage should continue the evolution of the affair. At first, you ex may back off from a long term commitment (either then or now) - you will have to show patience and steadfastness here. He is always going to be a free spirit, never going to get locked in a cage so don't try to limit his freedoms. He can confuse freedom with dominance, and love with submission at times. Once a commitment is made however, he can be a devoted and dedicated spouse, provided he has dealt with his past demons and achieved emotional maturity.

    Basically returning to someone you once had a relationship with and making a success of it the second time around depends on whether you both have grown enough to put the past behind you and start afresh, leaving old baggage behind and building on the future. Unless you have both learned and changed for the better, forget it!

    The question is whether your ex can ever feel understood by you and if you can cope with him coming and going as he pleases - unless of course he has matured enough to know that real freedom can be found in a committed, understanding relationship. Or whether you can stop hoping he will ever change and accept him as he is. The other question also is whether he has found the understanding and freedom he craves with anyone else?

  • Hello Captain and thank you. We have been been in contact latley, more than we have in several months. His focus in always on us and rekindling a relationship. He has continued to state that he has "changed", and part of me wants to believe that he has matured. I see it in some aspects but Im not sure if this is just his "good guy" act to find his way back to my heart. I do love him and always will, even if we dont rekindle a relationship. I will take heed in your reading as alot of it is on point (as you always are 🙂 ).

    Do you see someone else, another woman in his life that he may also be trying to form a relationship with?

    If so, why is his pushing so hard for us to get back together?

    Is there anything else you see that I should know?

  • I feel he has had a failure in love recently and has turned to you for comfort - you are a 'known' factor and he feels safer with going back to you than looking for someone new and possibly risky. But I don't feel he has the maturity yet to stick around for long.

  • I think we both feel that "tug" of wanting the comfortable and familiar. But, the truth is there are other issues (all of which you've mentioned) that hinder us from having a healthy relationship.

    Captain, I thank you for sharing your gift with me 🙂

    Warm Regards R.

  • Anytime! 🙂

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