Dumpt 3 months befor our wedding



  • Being in love with some one means you are joined in spirit. IT hurts so bad because you are now being torn apart, spiritually. Please allow yourself time to mourn as if somebody has died.

    It will take some time, but this too will pass. You got to let all the hurt out, cry, moan, talk about it to whomever will listen. IN THE PROCESS OF TIME, you will be better so don't hurt yourself u r beautiful and giving inside and out.

    And I know it seems like the pain will never leave, but one day you will see that it does not hurt as bad. Take some time and gain the lesson to be learned from this ordeal.......what will you do differently next time. When love comes around it knocks you down, get back up when it knocks you down.



  • I disagree with my cancer friend about the sueing her. Law suits only prolong contact, involvement and fustration. There comes a time when it is best to cut your losses, when she gets in that court room and tells a bunch of lies she will break your heart all over again. Most likely a judge will see through the law suit to the true intention, revenge. It won't bring her back, it won't make you feel good... I know it's hard to move on, but you can and will. I agree that time will heal and your life is better then it would be if you'd married..... But the best way to get over a woman is to get under another and quick.



  • Did ya'll live together at some point. If you did how long. I was trying to establish if it was like a common law union. If she was presenting the relationship as a union. Does your state accept common law unions. Different states have different requirements. I agree that she took advantage. Could maybe just chat w/attorney (a couple) for the time and expense that you invested. This situation reminds me of someone I know that was kicked out of a house he paid rent on. He was also involved with the owner of this property at different points in time. She lived there also. I had to tell him that this was actually a common law union because she would not allow him to have girlfriends. In other words, that's called jealously right. Or just having your cake and eating it to. If they separated, she couldn't live without him. So, where does the manipulation end. I don't know, I'm not an attorney. But might get info on how to best deal with something like this in the future.



  • oh honey, poor poor dear. This sucks. It's unfortunate but there are people like this all over. She saw you as a kind trusting soul, remember she pursued you, used you and has now moved on to her next victim. Use this as a learning experience. Time will heal this and you will be free to find yourself and hopefully a woman who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve, For next time, please remember the people who know you best have a great nose for sniffing out these con artists. Listen to your intuition and your friends and this will not happen again.



  • Here's the truth: There are sociopaths out there. I've read a book called The Sociopath Next Door, and according to that book there are plenty of them. These people are incapable of genuine love and they do not know what love is-in essence-they are users! This woman saw you Bob as a victim from the start-you were easy prey. She used her looks and her money to entrap you-and she was the pursuer. You were coming out of a marriage-a very easy victim for her. It's obvious-even to you now-what she was up to!

    You deserve an equal-and next time- YOU should be the pursuer and get what you want out of life. I think you need to build up your confidence again-sounds like you are making changes. There are lots of single people out there because of the high divorce rate unfortunately- and understand that we can all become victims. You are not the one at fault here-you did nothing wrong. Next time you should make sure that your heart is being given to the right person-I say ALWAYS beware of a woman who moves too fast-even with her superficial qualities- to most men-she would have come across as too needy-and they would have run. They may have used her for sex-but not wanted to marry her...actually-this woman may have been a victim herself in the past-and you may have been her revnege on men...on the other hand-as I've said-this could be her MO-and she is a true sociopath. If you need professional help-get it...but as time goes by-she will be put where she blongs-in the PAST!



  • Just saw typos-hate those- the word revenge and belongs- are the typos...I'm an editor for a living! We all make mistakes!!! Guess that was my point in my response too! 🙂



  • I think you have to just start thinking of the future now, the more you dwell on the past and what she said and what she did etc, the worse it is going to be for you. I was in a similar situation with my sons Dad, and I got to a point it was really bringing me down. You need to start socialising and building things anew, get out there, no need to rush in to a relationship with someone, just make new friends, start a course, do some voluntary work, keep yourself busy, concentrate on yourself, take one day at a time and before you know it, you will find hapiness and peace within yourself.



  • hi all started going out to jive lessons meeting others but its hard songs we dance to remind me of our past but will keep going. also lossing weight. buying new clothes be gining to look and feel a bit better. most of what you all say makes sence. buy we are still foolish. i have been trying to except that i still love her and to move on thjat we will never get together again and it is over completly. this seemed to help a little but as i say will keep trying to get out and about.


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