Astra how are you?
Yes, poker haha... you get to throw cards back and have the dealer draw new ones.
Okay so we put aside the Universe (who needs that :), the 7 of Wands (that can be a little weird card), and the Queen of Pentacles.
Here are your new cards:
King of Pentacles
King of Wands
5 of Cups
What say you now? We can stop here and talk about what this means for you, or you can select one card and I will draw 3 new ones.
Don't forget the Hermit can be a fun card. You know.. the guy has been lonely for so long. and finally breaks his hermitage and shows up at your door. Could be hot.
As always, the choice is yours sadsag!
Patience, yes, it is work in progress. What was it St, Augustine said? The reward of patience... is patience. That sounds like something a Hermit would say. Not sure how 'hot' St. Augustine was though.
The pixies are at it again!
Once more to see what happens.
Still missing some posts...
Finally it posted. I knew it was there somewhere!
The Hermit... Well is that me or L? It is a time of retreat and internal growth. I have been doing that, I wonder if he has. the 5 of cups is just sad. All that pain, loss and regret and not being able to see the little bit of hope that is left in the standing cups. Or in my case, perhaps i see the hope and therefore try to ignore the pain that will come from it. either way i don't much like that card. The king of wands is also about inner spiritual change, correct? It seems a bit redundant. Let's keep the Hermit and hope that it speaks to inner growth for both of us.
Patience is hard and yes, in the end what you gain is more patience. Bah! What's the point if being patient doesn't get you what you really want, which I am guessing is usually not more patience? That guy looks a little creepy to me...
Oh you think St. Augustine is creepy, huh? I will be sure to pass that along :)....
Okay, this is really interesting! I am getting a little peek into your thought processes. And what is important to you.
That is cool you chose the hermit, that does show deeper love desires. The Hermit is a very divine love card to me.
Okay, so we remove the 3 cards, and draw new ones.
Now, you are looking at the 3 of Pentacles, the Ace of Swords, the Hermit (from before) and the 3 of Wands.
What would you select now?
You asked whether the Hermit was you or L.
Who do you believe it is? there were 2 king cards above the hermit.
You have a strong association with 5's and sadness, interesting.
You asked about the King of Wands being about inner spiritual change. It certainly could be. In your case I was seeing that as a "wandy" version of L.
Now both kings are gone and you are looking at the 3 of Pentacles (replacing the King of Pentacles) and the Ace of Swords replacing the King of Wands.
It seems that you had associated the King of Pentacles with L. Interesting that the King Pentacles is 3 pentacles, and now we are still looking at 3 pentacles. THat means L is still around!
And this other King, this Wand King now has the ACE of Swords, that is something.
The 'sad' 5 of Cups has turned into the optimistic 3 of Wands.
Me? I would probably grab that 3 of Pentacles card in hopes of a job!
Oh... you took away the Kind. I misunderstood. I thought we were chooseing one card and keeping the others until we had 4 we liked. As in keep the King, replace 3 cards. Keep the Hermit and the King and replace 2 more... No matter. We will play it your way although i miss my king
This choice is a bit more difficult. the 3 of pentacles does seem to be more about success in a job so i don't think that fits, even though you think it means L is still around. If he is there is no evidence of that in this realm. Even so I like that idea and I like having him there so perhaps i should keep that one?
The Ace of swords is nice. Strength and power, or insight, mental clarity. That could be good. First the Hermit takes a time out and then there is mental clarity and the power and strength to achieve the goal.
The 3 of wands. Expanding horizons. New opportunities if i should choose to look at them, to open my world up a bit. That seems to be a step away from my king, looking at other kinds as an option.
So, this is hard, keep L and the good job, keep the power and insight into the situation or expand my horizons and leave him in dust. I think in the spirit of path we are on together and where I want it to go for the highest good of both of us, i will choose the Ace of Swords.
Your turn now.
So you were thinking to keep the King Pentacles and the Hermit?
Let's go back to that step, I don't like accepting misunderstandings. When something is misunderstood in life, it should be addressed right then and there. So forget this latest spread, we are going back to the previous spread (King Pent, King Wand, Hermit and 5 cups) until we get this communication issue sorted out.
I am starting to suspect that this interaction we are having (including the miscommunication) could be pointing out a key about you and L. Perhaps there was a pattern where a "miscommunication" was glossed over, and shrugged off between you two? MAYBE early on in your marriage to him?
Communication issues generally trace back to some earlier events where a pattern was established.
Let's say in a relationship/ marriage you and your partner early on encounter a mis communication about something. Someone is then confused and the priority at that point is to STOP everything and work through that until both sides are totally happy and communicating again.
I look back and can see how "accepting miscommunication" is at the root of so many issues I have dealt with. As I tended to let it slide, as I was not emotionally prepared to talk it out. If your partner doesn't want to talk it out, then you have a SERIOUS problem and the relationship is headed for the garbage can.
However, talk it out and reach concord, and you have IMPROVED the relationship.
Once the patterns are set though (a "I will accept miscommunication and let it slide" pattern) they becomes harder and harder to change over time, We fall into "roles" that identify us to the partner. So as you go along, and try to communicate clearly again, your partner may balk at the attempt and say, "what are you talking about, a miscommunication? There is no miscommunication, as long as you continue to keep agreeing with me", So you see how sick that becomes over time. Eventually the one partner will just give up, go into emotional withdrawal and the relationship deteriorates into a physical thing with no real love.
So, I am starting to wonder that there is some communication thing with you and L is the root thing. THere is a pattern that was accepted between you that was not healthy and that ultimately led to the breakup, the OW, or whatever distractions L was more interested in (he may have given up on a healthy "let's talk it all out until we reach closure in love" pattern, and simply said "this is not working with Sadsag i am looking elsewhere", next thing you know, here is the OW and it all goes to h e l l.
Do you see what I mean?
You said "No matter. We will play it your way although i miss my king ;)"
IT DOES MATTER is the thing. It matters when we have mis understandings. RIght then and there a healthy relationship (and that is what we are doing on this forum is working out relationship issues in the guide of "tarot readings" however what this is really all about is learning to dialogue in clear ways, and not so much about "what does my future hold".
The future is not going to be bright for anyone if we tolerate mis-communication patterns. So often we say things to each other in life that is not clearly understood. But we keep saying "NO MATTER... " and that establishes a "no matter" policy that we keep falling back on.
I bet that there was something way back there with you and L that was not a clear communication and you (probably you) accepted it by saying "no matter, I don't really agree or understand what you just said or want... but I wil go along anyway." So that set you up for even MORE miscommunications, and that is frustrating to L also! he WANTS to communicate with you even now, however once the patterns are set, they are like concrete, really hard to spot and change.
This is why analysis is so helpful for couples in relationships. At the first sign of a mis-understandin in the dialogue with your partner, that is a sign from the universe to STOP EVERYTHING until you can work through that together and reach agreement. If you can't then you need the help of an analyst or therapist (however it is not really a "therapy" issues, no one is sick here, it is simply a communication concern which could benefit from the help of an analyst.
Then, let's say even the analyst can't help. One of you still can't communicate clearly or you can't reach agreement in the mis communicated issue. THEN you have a much more serious issue and the relationship will either have to
Accept the miscommunication pattern (which I would not recommend) and simply say to one another, "Okay, well it is obvious we have communication problems, so maybe we abandon ever having a true, respectful dialogue and we'll just enjoy the s e x, or travel, or eating out. However we will never be able to really trust each other again in communicating. This sounds terrible to me, however I think a lot of people in relationships do this all the time. The woman or man "checks our", gives up on communicating effectively and it becomes s e x or something.
You WORK THROUGH the miscommunication until BOTH of you are very happy - then the relationship gets BETTER and BETTER!
What I see happening is that we all have this super deep need to communicate! It is so much more than the s e x or money and jobs and fun travel or whatever else we "pretend" love is all about. LOVE is about COMMUNICATING and when you can't communicate you end up loving each other from a distance which sounds like what you and L are doing.
The problem is that when these crummy communication patterns are tolerated, that one or both of the partners will start shopping around for someone who CAN communicate, and when that person is found - BIINGO! You have adultery, or abandonment, or whatever you want to call it - THE OW!!! shows up! It isn't the OW though, it isn't her fault, she simply was able to communicate and then the partner drifts off with her, and you are left looking at a breakup and of course then, its all the OW's fault.
Nope. Not the OW's fault. It is the RELATIONSHIP'S fault for tolerating a one-sided communication pattern where confusion and disagreements were swept under the rug and that gorws to become resentment.
Getting both of the partners to see this is tough though, we all believe "we" are in the right, and it is the other person's fault. The fact is, the fault (if you had to place blame) rests with the partner who tolerated the misunderstandings. Then resentment builds, and the love slowly drains away, and then next thing you know... OW shows! Not OW's fault though, she is simply the "fruit" produced by tolerating miscommunication.
Okay, let's stop here and see if you are still with me. We are NOT looking at cards now, this is a communication pattern issue we are talking about. I think we can achieve some fantastic results here for you sadsag, however I need to get some indication from you that you are understanding what I am getting at.
So, to sum up... it DOES matter, that we had a miscommunication with this approach to the reading okay?
Once we agree on that, and we both see how important it is to stay communicating effectively, and not tolerate confusion (no matter), we can then go back to the reading and continue.
So I am going back to the earlier spread where we had the King of Pentacles, and the Hermit, it sounds like you wanted to keep those two? AND draw new cards then to replace the King of Wands and the 5 of Cups, correct?
Once you agree to that, we can proceed.
Do you see what I am getting at here. Very dangerous to sweep miscommunications under the rug in relationships.
As long as marriages stay communicating effectively you will never have a divorce or breakup. All of the failed relationships imho are due to some breakdown in communication somewhere. It is not anyone's fault, not the guys's fault, not your fault.
What do you think?
Miscommunication huh? Well I do agree with you, they can ruin lots of kinds of relationships. Certainly they can lead to difficulties and it is best to clear them up as soon as possible.
As for miscommunication between L an I, yes there were some. Typically we did address them. he was pretty good about that, when we miscommunicated and we recognized it then we talked about it. What he wasn't good about was communicating his feelings, at least verbally. His body language and his behavior was pretty clear but verbally he was not very forthcoming. Actually I think he is not very good at communicating with himself. I think he is not clear on what he feels and why he feels it so he acts according to what he thinks he feels. he does not recognize the fear behind his feelings. Since he does not recognize them he cannot communicate them in words, only in his actions. There was no OW in that relationship. It was only his fear that broke us up. i don't even know if there has been anyone since we broke up. I am pretty sure there was not at the time of my rip when he texted me. if he had been seeing someone else he would not have contacted me. Now it has been nearly 6 weeks so who knows Perhaps he has met someone and that is why have not heard from him again. i may never know.
There was an OW in my marriage however the miscommunications did not start until she was in the picture. One thing we were really good at was communicating. when he met her, that was when he stopped communicating. I was not paying much attention to it, he was not saying much, but nothing much seemed to be wrong. I had no idea or even a reason to suspect that he was living a double life. It never entered my mind because it was so out of character for him. That is all ancient history now though.
As for our miscommunication, it is not critical but sure let's clear it up. I did think that we were just choosing one card, replacing the other three and then keeping one of those and replacing the next 2 until we had 4 cards that we liked. I am not really sure what that was going to tell us though. So your way, keeping one and then pulling 3 more and then still only keeping 1. How long would that go on for? How many cards would we draw? What would that tell us?
If we go back we have the king of Pentacles and the Hermit, right? So yes, let's draw new cards to replace he 5 of cups and the king of wands. Right now we have a king who is successful in life and happy in his material world and we have the hermit who is taking a break to figure out what is important in life. Let's see what's next...
Just bumping this to try and make your post show up!
still not showing!
Now I am confused. You just bumped it but didn't post? Sad...
Hope all is well! Sunny and lovely here on this side of the state.
(I wonder that this thread is picking up the energies of your life is what it is. Something is trying to prevent your forward progress?)
Sadsag I am pretty certain the signs are all pointing back to that women that L ran off with whoever she was. There is a perceived injustice felt by you over this person. And with whom you are still trying to reconcile (you are trying to reconcile with the woman is what it is, do that and then L will be reconciled to you). The way the thread keeps refusing to cooperate is like a sign that life is throwing these blocks in order to focus on the issue.
The cards ended with the 2 Swords and the Queen wands (You) as extending above the other cards (pointing to a focus there). The 2 of swords representing this agreement to see her in love (6 cups ahead). then take some practical steps to reconcile with her. However that works for you. Ace of Pentacles encouraging whatever steps are needed, a card, letter, whatever you want.
The cards at right show how your new life (ace pentacles) is being blocked by something that is a perceived justice/injustice concern over that Queen of Swords. The 6 swords at center shows the intimate nature of the relationship they share/d and that is at the heart of it all.
Your path is loving her. This woman from your past. There is 3 growing path (wands) influence next to her and below you. When you can love her (agreeing with the diagnosis), I am confident the justice card will be taken out of the way and you are off and free to experience wonderful, intimate, trusting male-female relationships. Then you can step into a wonderful relationship again with L or even someone else. Anyway, that is what I see.
It will be interesting to see whether the post will show up hahaa....
big major blessings to you sadsag!
love from the eastside, the sweet side haha...
Good morning Astra,
I am confused. There is no OW. As far as I know L is not seeing and has not seen anyone else. If he is I certainly don't know who she is. I know that he did not leave me for someone else. I do not have issues with any other women in his life, now or in the past. So i am not sure who I am supposed to reconcile with. But you are right, something is blocking us in some way.
We did text a bit last weekend. He was over in forks in the rain, likely on his bike, and then in Anacortes. I think he did not have good service out there as one of his texts was sent 24 hours before I actually received it. So there is just another example of a bit of a communication breakdown. the Universe at work again I guess... Anyway, again, i don't think he would text me if he had a woman with him, or even if he was dating someone. Cheating is just not his style. Since he was out of town there was no suggestion that we get together So there is still some communication between us but I have not heard anything since then. To tell you the truth i think he really is not that interested anymore. He may or may not have moved on to someone else but even if he has not, he does not seem to be motivated to really connect with me anymore. I think he just no longer loves me. And like I said before, now that the weather is nice and he can be out on his bike he won't think about me. He only misses me when he is bored and alone. He is never bored or lonely on his bike. It is his favorite place to be whether he is with other people or not.
So I just don't know Astra what this Justice that you are talking about is. Perhaps something that happened in another life that just keeps showing up. I don't know.
it is cloudy here now but they say it is going to clear up later. I need to go t the grocery store so I will do it now while it is early and cloudy so I can be outside later when it is nice.
Okay well then I am very confused as well dear sadsag, I thought there was a divorce in your past, and L had someone else after that?
Sadsag, as much as I have enjoyed dialoging with you, I don't think I am helpful to you at this time. I seem to be having trouble keeping it all straight. HOnestly I have enough trouble trying to keep my own life on track and reliable, not sure I need more "figuring out" to do.
Blessings. sri, I wish I had my act more together I could follow it all better. Maybe if I had a folder with chart notes haha....
Astra...when looking at the forums it seems lots are drawn to you. I love the deck you use. I assume it was created by you. I'd love to have you give readings on my site with that magical deck you use that is original to only you. Its only for metaphysical auctions like psychic readings and products. Its mostly geared for the services since they are no longer available on eBay. Its 100% free. And...would you mind pulling some cards to see if my site will get off the ground and running?
There is a divorce in my past and there was another woman in that situation, but that is long past and has nothing to do with L. L and I have only been involved for about 2.5 years. There have never been any other women involved. In fact I still don't think there is. No worries about not being able to keep it straight. You have lots of people asking about relationships and we have wandered all over the place in our topics. I have always found or conversations interesting and thought provoking, whether they were about him or not. And your readings have always been helpful and spot on. They have gotten me though many a bad day and for that I will always be grateful.
BYW he has come back into the scene. I ran into him in a pub last weekend. My son and I were there and he came in. He was very surprised to see us and was clearly a bit unnerved at first. We had a casual “ Hi how are you?” chat and then he went off to the bar. He came back and few minutes later and asked to join us. He did and the three of us chatted for a bit longer. Then my son and I left. He texed me and told me he was glad he got over feeling weird and sat down with us and that it was very good to see me. Then he texted me again and asked if I was on my way home. I did not notice that text so did not answer. 20 minutes later he followed it up with a “?”. I got that one and responded. He wanted me to meet him so I did. We spent an hour together, just casual chatting, no relationship talk. Then I had another place I needed to be so I had to go. He gave me a hug, very tight and longer than needed, and I left. We have had a few casual email exchanges since then. No talk of getting together again. It was clear from his actions and body language that he still has some feeling for me. Whether or not he will act on those feelings is still unclear. So the saga continues…
love and light