Astra how are you?

  • Hey Astra,

    Let's see, one woman was charging $10 and the other was $25. There is money to be made there. How many readings would you have to do at $25 to buy a new helicopter? I'm sure people over there are just as curious and willing to pay. You should check it out. Ask the cards haha. Or how about booking yourself into bachelorette parties? You could read for all of the girls who are not getting married. Now there is money in that!

    As for your reading on L. Interesting. I suspect he does want to see me or he would not have contacted me and would not have suggested i meet him. On the other hand, what has really changed? Nothing that I can tell. Is he any more capable of making a commitment? I doubt it. Does he even want to talk about that? Again I doubt it. Might he want to arrange some kind of agreement or slide right back into the relationship we had before? Likely. Do I want to do that? No. While I still care about him I am not interested in starting this pattern over again. he would have to put some major changes on the table. I do not want to get another 6 months down the line and have him run in fear again. No point in putting myself through that.

    I was actually busy when he texted. I had been out for happy hour with friends and needed to get up early for my flight in the morning. I was already in my pjs and while he suggested that i just meet him in my pjs, I politely declined. I had also just polished my toenails and I was not going to mess them up by putting on shoes before they were dry. So you see I had several good reasons why I could not go out. On the other hand, I do admit to taking a certain amount of satisfaction letting him know that I was leaving on my trip. A trip such as the ones we had talked about taking this spring. Yes, my life did go on even when he was not in it. Does that sound like game playing? Perhaps but that is not really what I was doing. I might have gone if I did not have all of those reasons not to. Is he playing games? Perhaps but sadly, I don't think he is. I think this man really has some deep fears that interfere with his ability to allow anyone to love him. So while he feels the love and wants the relationship he just can't let it happen. So he listens to the fear and runs. When he is on his own again and the fear subsides then the feelings of love are once again apparent. So he contacts me, or whomever he is involved with, and the cycle begins all over again. I actually think it is very sad because without some help he will never really have the love and relationship that I know he really wants.

    So how true is the reading? Who knows? Not me. They are interesting though. Sometimes they do seem to tap the energy in a situation. How we interpret them may or may not be accurate. I do not believe that they predict anything. I think we talked about that before. Still they are fun.

    Hawaii was fun. I have never been there so it was all new and shiny to me. We had perfect weather and nothing in particular that we had to do. It was the first real "vacation" I have taken in a very long time. Just a chance to be away and not have any family or holiday obligations. I enjoyed it. It was hard to come back and try to focus on work again. 😞 I guess if we stayed on vacation all the time it would not be so fun... Or so they tell me 😉 It is supposed to hit 80 this weekend so perhaps I can pretend it is Maui!

    I hope you have a sunny warm weekend too. Enjoy the warm blue skies!

    blessings on you as well,


  • Hi sadsag, I saw you replied and yet it didn't show up, so I will post this in hopes it will then show your message.

  • Weird. I just posted a reply and it still refused to show.

  • Okay there, i see your message now.

    How many readings at $25 to get a new helicopter? Depends on how fancy a heli I guess. 🙂 You can get a nice 450 size Trex or equiv for $500. So, what is that 20?

    I have been sorta on the fence about trying to turn tarot into income, I am trying some avenues and sort of take my time with it, Thanks though so much for your thoughts. Spokane could still be fine for that too, I honestly haven't tried to hang any shingles out locally, perhaps I can do that now.

    You mentioned

    "On the other hand, what has really changed? Nothing that I can tell.

    Is he any more capable of making a commitment? I doubt it.

    Does he even want to talk about that? Again I doubt it.

    Might he want to arrange some kind of agreement or slide right back into the relationship we had before? Likely. Do I want to do that? No. While I still care about him I am not interested in starting this pattern over again.

    he would have to put some major changes on the table. I do not want to get another 6 months down the line and have him run in fear again. No point in putting myself through that."

    I hear what you are saying. It sounds like you do have a pretty good idea of how his behavior would need to prove itself (it sounds like).

    So, when you say "what has really changed", are you wondering if the general situation has changed at all?

    Or, is that directed at him specifically?

    Also, when you stated "Is he any more capable of making a commitment?"

    What exactly does 'a commitment' mean to you sadsag?

    It sounds like he would need to "make this commitment" before you would welcome him back into your life in any deep sense?

    So, here is what we can do. (And this will be fun). You and I can start to work through defining exactly what your idea is of this commitment. I mean, I wil "be" Lee in this situation, okay? For all I know, I could be tapping into his viewpioint (Somehow?) him as a way of working through this in a different way? then the 'real world' should your relationship "real world" could then benefit! I don't know for sure we can try it though.

    Then on your observations about him, it sounded like you expressed the patterns pretty well. I am not a shrink so I am not even going to try and guess the "why" of his behavior that we could explore for long time. Without his involvement directly it is ALL speculation. Nothing wrong with it, however it is all spec.

    Your Hawaii trip sounds great! I was there too! Didn't you see me? Ha ha I wish. I have been begging the universe for a warm beach. My guess is that the 'iuniverse' will wait for the hottest day in history in spokane and put me on a flight for a beach that's even hotter somewhere else. Ha ha... figure. that is fine as long as there is water! 🙂

    So, sadsag, maybe we start our dialogue about commitment. What that means? Here, I will be L... you and I are seated at "Suzies Diner" there in your town.

    L: Hey... thanks for meeting up.

    S: Not a problem, I'm glad we finally could.

    *** a few bites of pie and coffee ***

    L: Nice bracelet you're wearing. Is that something new?

    S: (you look at the bracelet while holding it up for him to see, sort of turning your wrist as you do) Oh, this? Yeah something I picked up in Hawaii.

    A: ...along with other things. (and you smile and pull back your hair and show him the "Dancing Hula girls" earrings you bought.

    *** a few bites of pie and coffee ***

    L: So... sadsag. I wanted to ask you something.

    S: Yes? What might that be?

    L: Well, I have been thinking of you a lot lately and, um...

    S: (You are looking at him like with 'x-ray vision' at this point)

    L: I was wanting to talk about us. You know. Like it used to be.

    L: (he winks at you)

    S: (pause)... like it used to be?

    S: You mean like it used to be when it was nice, or when it was the other way?

    L: Nice.

    S: (pause). Tell you what Lee. I am willing to talk about anything, okay?

    S: We can talk about us, we can talk about Hawaii, we can talk about anything.

    S: However...

    S: Before we ever talk about the "nice" version... we will talk about something else first.

    L: Yeah? What's that?

    S: Commitment.

    (gets a little quiet in the restaurant)

    *** a few more bites of pie and coffee ***

    *** L is gazing out the restaurant window at the clouds, with a puzzled look on his face... while mouthing the word "commitment"...

  • Astra,

    You are too funny! What a nice little fantasy you have going there. Some how I suspect it would not go down quite like that. The last time we met up after being apart it took him over 2 hours and a lot of small talk before he would broach the subject of us. Even then it was not relationship talk. One thing that L really struggles with is talking about this feelings, unless he is explaining why he needs to break off the relationship. He seems much more comfortable doing that! Anyway, when we did finally get around to it, it was more him trying to explain why he broke it off and how much he missed me. Even with that, and the tears that he shed that night, I did not hear from him again for 8 weeks. He left me that night saying " I will be in touch" and it took him 8 weeks to decide to actually contact me again! So now, I suspect it could be months again, if he ever even decides to try.

    As for commitment. What I really want is a long term commitment, with him or with someone else. I know that even that is no guarantee but I at least would like to be with someone who has that intention. I think L has that intention, it is what he says he wants, but as soon as he gets to the point where his feelings are involved,or he admits to them,or it all gets to feeling too much like a relationship rather than dating, he runs. It turns out that this is not an unusual pattern in men, and some women,of course. He has some pretty classic symptoms, how he acts, what he says and his timing. All pretty textbook really. As for why, I do have some insight into that. Things he told me about his growing up years. His parents are great and he was not abused but his dad went and lived in a different town when he was two because of the job market. To a 2 year old who does not understand where or why his dad left, that is abandonment. There were other issues too and when you put it all together, it makes sense that he grew up feeling unlovable (of course this is deeply buried so he is not really aware of it). Then add to that, when he finally did get the nerve to actually marry someone, in the end she proved him right, she left him. Now I don't think that he sees that he did the distancing in the marriage and she probably got tired of being excluded. He said that she got bored and left. Perhaps, more likely she was tired of trying to get him to engage with her. Again, it is a classic pattern. It really does help me, my emotional well being, to understand what is going on with him. It helps me to know that he left because of him, not because of me.

    So the question is, your question I think, is what would it take? What kind of commitment do I want /expect from him. Before I will even consider a relationship with him, he has to understand his pattern, want to change it and commit to doing the work involved to at least try. That means working with a counselor. Somehow, knowing him, I very much doubt if he will be willing to do that. I am not even sure that he understands what he does and why he feels like he has to leave every relationship he enters. Maybe he does but his just does not want to admit it, at least to me. Another thing I don't know, is if this behavior of leaving and reconnecting is a pattern for him. It is typical of commitmentphobes but the little I know about his past relationships, it does not seem to be true of him. I know that he spent a year "waiting to see" if he and his ex would get back together but I don't know what actually took place. My guess is he was willing but she was not, probably tired of it all by that point. that truly is speculation on my part though.

    Deep down my feeling is that there is very little chance that we could ever really make it work. he gave it a good try but I think his fears are just too deeply ingrained. I was honestly very surprised to hear from him again. I think he knows he gave it a good try (it was very obvious in some of his behavior that he was trying to really be 'in' the relationship) but he just could not sustain it. After he admitted his feelings, that trying lasted about 4 weeks. it would take a whole lot of hard work to get past a fear that only lets him stay really engaged for 4 weeks. I guess we will just have to wait and see. No doubt he is out on one of his bikes tonight. It is a warm and sunny evening here and he usually goes out with the boys on Friday night. it is supposed to hit 80 on Sunday so he will be out somewhere in the state riding and feeling free. I won't even enter his mind until some rainy evening when none of the boys are free and he is out by himself. Then he will miss me and after a few drinks he will text me. As long as it is sunny and warm and he has boys to ride with, I am not even on the radar! So much for strong feelings and commitment!

    Hawaii was beautiful and I think I did see you there on the beach. You had a gaggle of bikini clad women around you if I remember correctly 😉 I decided not to interrupt. I was just showing my son some of the pictures and now he wants to go there. Perhaps the 3 of us (my boys and I) will plan another trip over there sometime. Christmas would be fun. I will have to save up for it though and they will have to pay their own way. Or perhaps they could pay my way too! they both have decent paying jobs now...

    As for tarot, there are others here who do private readings and I know they charge much more. A friend of mine went to some woman many years ago and it was $75 for an hour. And of course, it was not really very accurate. That woman tends to try to predict what might happen, but honestly i think she just tells people what they want to hear. Of course none of it happened. I know you could make money off of it, I am not sure about making a living from it. Perhaps. I think your graphic skills are probably still more valuable. I still like the idea of using your art to create new decks. That could have long term financial payoff. Do the work once and collect from it over and over again. It combines your art, your writing, and your knowledge and interpretation of the cards. In soccer that is called a hat trick!

    As usual Astra it has been a pleasure chatting. You always make me smile with your optimistic, romantic outlook. I guess someone has to have romance and optimism 😉 WE can't all be pessimistic sour pusses like me ;(

    take care,


  • Hi SadSag

    I think we are making some very nice progress here with this situation with L. I will admit though I have a little trouble trying to follow all of the thinking involved. You and L sound like there was somethign there that you both may still want to work through>?... not sure... but I hear your concerns about the effort (is it worth it?).

    So, maybe some tarot in there also and that will give us some time for our subconscious(?) to process some of what is being shared.

    Hey, would you like to try something new in a reading approach?

    Basically the idea is this. Let me try a Celtic Cross spread for you, we can look at any situation you like.

    After the first card, I will post here what it is, and I will ask you whether you want that card or not in the reading?

    How does that sound?

    That could be nice for you, it is relaxing. I just did a spread like that sitting here and it seemed interesting enough that I wanted to bounce it off you. 🙂

    Sourpuss? I say a lovely daughter of the stars...



    P.S. ha ha ha on the gaggle of bikini clad women. How skimpy were the bikinis on them?

  • Hi SadSag

    I think we are making some very nice progress here with this situation with L. I will admit though I have a little trouble trying to follow all of the thinking involved. You and L sound like there was somethign there that you both may still want to work through>?... not sure... but I hear your concerns about the effort (is it worth it?).

    So, maybe some tarot in there also and that will give us some time for our subconscious(?) to process some of what is being shared.

    Hey, would you like to try something new in a reading approach?

    Basically the idea is this. Let me try a Celtic Cross spread for you, we can look at any situation you like.

    After the first card, I will post here what it is, and I will ask you whether you want that card or not in the reading?

    How does that sound?

    That could be nice for you, it is relaxing. I just did a spread like that sitting here and it seemed interesting enough that I wanted to bounce it off you. 🙂

    Sourpuss? I say a lovely daughter of the stars...



    P.S. ha ha ha on the gaggle of bikini clad women. How skimpy were the bikinis on them?

  • sadsag

    hey we could play a game and just type something anything as often as needed to keep this post at the top of the forum list. What about that? That could be fun!

  • Or is that not a nice thing to do? What do you think? Let's talk about it!

  • Hey Astra,

    Boy you are in a feisty mood today. yes we can just keep typing short notes every hour and it will stay at the top. then everyone will think something really amazing is happening. 😉

    We can try your one card at a time reading. the only downside is that it could take days, but then we would meet out objective of lots of posts to keep the thread at the top.

    Yes, i think you are correct. I think there was lots in the relationship that L and I both valued. I don't mean to point fingers or lay blame here but the issues are his. He is emotionally unavailable or commitment phobic or both. he has a really hard time letting anyone in. It is kind of crazy making. when we are together there is no doubt about his feelings. It is very very apparent in the way he treats me and looks at me and his energy. Everyone comments on it. None of my friends, or probably his but I don't know that part for sure, doubt his feelings. he seems to be the one who doubts.

    He told me when we split the 2nd time that when we are together it is all great and he is very happy, but when we are apart he does not miss me like he thinks he should. Of course that seems to only be the case once his fear starts to rise again. So anyway, he thinks that since he does not miss me that he must not love me enough and that is why he cannot take the relationship onto it's next logical step and make some kind of commitment. (or that was his story this time) We were not even talking marriage or anything close to that, really just defining it as a real relationship with the intent of making it long term. The 'little voice in his head' which he thinks in his intuition tells him not too. My feeling is that that voice is fear. One of his best friends agrees with me. Also he is a text book case if you read anything on line or in a book about commitment phobes. So as I said before, his feelings are real and his desire to have the relationship is real but the fear stops him. When he gets a bit of distance, after he breaks it off, the fear subsides and then he feels the love again and starts missing me and decides to contact me. I do not want to keep doing this. I took him back the first time and really made no demands. I had not done the research on what was going on at that point. Now that I understand what is likely going on, I will not just let him come and go. he needs to look at his behavior, understand it and choose to change it. if he does not want to do that then he can just move on to the next woman where he will likely do the same thing.

    That being said, I think i told you that I am not sure if this pattern of returning is typical of him. I don't know enough about his dating history to really know. Of the few relationships I know about he did not go back once he ended it. That could mean that his feelings for me are deeper or it could mean that he just has not found anyone else since he left and he is lonely. I don't know if he has been dating this time. he did not date while we were apart the last time but we were not apart for as long that time.

    Are you following all of that? it is really quite simple in my mind even though it sounds kind of complex. Perhaps it is just my mind that is simple... So what kind of progress do you think we are making? You are welcome to pull cards around the situation all you like. It is always interesting to me how they turn out. I am not sure why you think I should choose to keep the card or not though. Isn't that like stacking the deck? Only keeping the cards that say what you want to hear. Let's try it around a different topic. Something less emotionally charged. I think I told you before that i am planning to do some work in my basement and make it into a private studio apartment when my son leaves. In order to do that I have to take a loan. I hate taking loans. so let's ask the cards if it is a good idea. Will the investment pay off? Will I get a good tenant that I like and who stays so I can pay the loan off quickly? We'll see how that goes and then we can ask about L. Oh I know! You can ask the cards if L we be around to help with the work. he is very good at building and could, if he so chose, do all of it for me. Then I would not need a loan. 🙂 That is not likely to happen though since he has a full time job and motorcycles to ride. 😞 Like I said before, i probably won't hear from him until the weather turns bad again. It might be fall by then...

    Oh and yes, I do believe the bikinis were pretty skimpy...


  • Hi Astra,

    Just saying hi to bump us up to the top 😉


  • Hi sadsag,

    I am trying to follow along with you here...

    You mentioned

    "with the intent of making it long term. "

    Is that like a "guarantee" that the other person will be there in the future? I am still trying to determine what specifically constitutes this "commitment" you would have liked with L?

    Hey I have an idea! I came up with this concept that I thought was a lot of fun and seemed to serve a need. What I did was take the marriage concept and strip it of all the weird stuff. and renamed it NARRIAGE.

    I had even built a website for it at one point. Which I since abandoned as no one took it seriously that I was aware of.

    The idea is this. A narriage is simple a formal declaration that is in some agreed upon form. It can be anything, a piece of paper, sharing some words. Basically I would come over there and NARRY you and L before the eyes of the universe. You two can make it a wonderful day, and I will pronounce you nusband and nife.

    I know that sounds funny, it works though! Then all you have to do is convince L to narry you, not marry you. And I can help you draft the agreement. It is not anything legal though, however you could add a marriage certificate to it if you wanted.

    The idea of narriage was trying to foster DIALOGUE between prospective mates to arrive at some sane expectations in the relationship before Cupid swoops in and turns it all into la la land.

    Anyway that was a thought. I come up all sorts of weird ideas, my Cap sun is real near the cusp of Aquarius so I get all of these social ideas and concepts that are bizarre.

    Anyway, had to share that,...

    and... look at that sadsag, right back to the top of the FORUM


  • it says you posted but I don't see it. I wonder why that happens...

  • So now there are 2 of my posts that are not showing up. What is going on?

  • Dear sadsag

    You asked "am i following that?" yes I think so pretty much. I can only advise you that (from my perspective) that your love for this man can happen regardless of his behavior. Our love for one another knows no time nor distance, really. So, you love him - Hooray! Love him then.

    Now, if it is a physical relationship you desire, then you can pursue that with him. I think you should tell him exactly what you want... and see what happens!

    We are back at that diner in town, you have agreed to meet L again after he called you the night before. This is about a week after the last meeting if you recall)

    You are already seated at the table, and L walks in and sits down across from you.

    L: Hey!

    S: Hey there... how is everything?

    L: Fine, fine... what cha having?

    S: Oh... trying some Pecan pie, not bad, want a bite?

    L: Okay....

    (takes a bite)

    L: Wow... that is good... almost as good as what you used to make.

    S: You remember that time...

    L: You made that one pie and threw it against the wall because it didn't

    S: Turn out right? Yeah... I remember.

    (Sips of cofffee)

    S: So L... did you get a chance to read my thoughts... on us?

    L: Yes! I thought you did a nice job... you made it pretty clear what you want in a relationship. I agree with most of that.

    S: Yeah? I am surprised....

    L: I do.. I liked what you wrote. And I thought it made sense.... this way we can see our life togther as, what did you call it?

    S: A 3 chapter movie.

    L: Yeah! I loved that. So our relationship continues. even though things changed... and there were a few others.

    S: Yeah... well we will need to talk about that. The other.

    L: Oh yeah... her. Well she and I are not talking right now anyway. It didn't work out sadsag.

    S: I coulda told you that!

    L: I had to try though... I couldn't find a replacement for you though sadsag.

    L: So.. I agree to your requests... we can commit.

    S: Really?

    L: Certainly. I thought it was perfect.

    S: Then?

    L: Yes.

    L: We are officially committed friends!

    S: Yippie!

    (pause while L finishes his coffee)

    S: You want some more coffee?

    L: Yes. that would be nice... and later?

    S: Maybe. If you are nice.

    S: And pick up the check.

    L: Ha ha ha... sadsag... I never knew anyone as smart as you...

    L: ...and as beautiful.

    (You both walk out the diner arm in arm)



    Gwyneth Paltrow as sadsag

    Brad Pitt as L

    Mitchell Graham as the gardener

    Susan Kirk - DIner waitress #1

    Deb Jones - Diner Waitress #2

    Corey Smithson as the mailman

    Written and directed by George Lucas

    Executive Producer - James Cameron

    A Universal Studios Production


  • Very Cute! You have quite an imagination Astra.

    Just a few changes...

    I do make pecan pie but I have never thrown it against a wall. I just don't have that kind of temper and would not want to waste a perfectly good pie 😉

    There is no other woman. I have no proof and until I do she is not going to be part of the story.

    He would never agree to everything quite that easily (he loves to argue just to do it) but then it is a fantasy so I might be able to go with that. it is true that the amount of detail you included about our discussion is about as much as he can handle, which is about exactly none!

    You are also correct when he said he has never known anyone as smart or as beautiful as me, in my very humble opinion. it is my fantasy after all 😉

    Last changes, Gwyneth is a blond and I am not so she has to go. We need to find a short brunette to play me. I strongly dislike Brad so he has to go too. L looks a lot like Matt Daman so perhaps we can see if he is free, in which case i will play me 😉

    So all in all, I do like your story. We'll see if it plays out like that. Perhaps you really can tell the future :- o At any rate, I do plan to tell him exactly what I want. I am pretty clear on that now. Much clearer than I was before. Before i did not know where he was and so I just let him take the lead. Those days are over, well except that I am not planning to take the lead and contact him. He will have to make that move. If he wants to see me then he knows where I am. I don't want him to accuse me of pushing him into anything or being the one to start it all back up when he clearly ended it! Starting it all back up again is on him, but making it clear to him what I will and will not accept is up to me.

    i agree with you that the heart knows no limits and will love who it loves. My heart feels what it feels and that does not seem to be changing. Someday perhaps but for now he seems to be firmly attached to my heart. How attached is heart is to me remains to be seen. I guess only time will tell.

    Now I will head to bed and dream up a new scene for your movie. You work on getting Matt to agree to play L...


  • Sadsag.

    I have been considering all of this. I kept getting today, FRIENDS.

    Are you open to being "friends" with L? LIke, not necessarily romantic, rather for fun things to do together with him. I think a great goal for the "sadsag+L relationship is to be close friends who can confide in each other and share their lives. Doesn't that sound nice? Then, it becomes a LOT easier to navigate, to establish, or rediscover your friendship. For that is where we all began, right? Friends. So, maybe that's where we all wind up again. You see? Like it is normal or something?



  • Astra,

    The answer to your question is probably no. I don't think we can do that, at least not now or any time soon. We talked about that once. He said it and i agreed that we could not be friends. That was the first time we split. I don't know what his reason was but for me it would be very very difficult to be around him and not be able to touch him, to not be 'with him". And to see him with someone else would be impossible right now. I don't think he would really want to hang out with me and a new guy either. i don't know if that was the reason he had but that is how it is for me.

    If we had met and established a friendship first then it would be great, he would be a very fun friend to have. But we didn't, we started with a romantic relationship. I don't think that I can go the other way. Going from friends to lovers is easier than going from lovers to friends. Or at least that is true for me. The chemistry between us is pretty strong. I am not sure that we could really have had just a friends relationship anyone, unless we were already coupled up with other partners.

    So no, I don't think that will happen. I think for me it has to be all or nothing. Right now it is nothing and if that is how it is then that is how it is. It is not the way i want it to be but we have to both be in it or it will not work, no matter what. So if I never hear from him again, then that is the way it is supposed to be because that is the way he wants it to be. I will live and i will move on. Hearing from him the night before my trip was lovely but really it does not mean a thing. He likely had a few drinks and was feeling lonely and he had a weak moment. It could be months before it happens again, if ever. I am trying very hard, with small success, to not sit here and wait for him. Clearly he is not very motivated about contacting me. He knows I will respond, I always have, so it is not fear of rejection that is holding him back. It must be lack of motivation. It is what it is. He has to feel the feelings and act on them for himself. i can't make him feel it.

    You are right though, friendships are much easier to navigate, but then they are not as emotionally charged as romantic relationships. And while friendships are lovely, I have many of them, still they do not replace romantic love. They are both important in a person's life. Alas, people are complex and so are relationships. No one ever said it would be easy, did they? Some are, some are not. this one is not easy but still i do not regret having it, I only regret losing it.

    Not a very cheery note for Mother's Day. It is cloudy here after more than a week of sunshine. i am happy for the clouds and a bit of rain. My garden needed it. I like it when the Universe supplies the water instead of the city 😉 Still it is a nice day. I will be hanging with my boys later this afternoon and evening. they both had work of one sort or another today. So I a just chillin here on my own. Did you call your Mom? I am sure you did. I sent up a prayer to mine although she is often near by so she knows how much I miss her.

    Okay, clearly i am not capable of light and easy conversation today. I will spare you 😉 i hope you are having a good day over on your side of the mountains.


  • I just found your post about narriage. You do come up with some creative ideas my friend. Perhaps the Universe caused me to miss that one on purpose just coz that this very moment I needed a smile.

    So narriage is just an agreed upon, defined relationship? Well that works for me. I don't feel a strong need to be married in the eyes of the law. But I do feel a need to have some common intention and yes, dare I say it, commitment. Right now I don't think L is capable of either of those things. I really think he has it in his mind that he is not capable and as long as he thinks that, that is how it will be. Only he can change his thinking and thereby his experience. if I thought i could influence that in some way I would, but i don't think i can.

    Has anyone ever visited your website and proposed that you narry them? Perhaps proposed is not the best word to use there, huh 😉 Still, it is creative and perhaps some day one of these creative ideas will pay off. you never know.


    It's back to the top for us!!

  • Hi sadsag

    All of the "narriage" ideas was simply the result of my trying to separate out the innocent FRIENDSHIPS we make which underlay our love lives and marriages (should anyway). Friends. That is something I keep getting for you and L. Friends. Friends like to be with each other, not because they have to, or because it is vow. They are friends because they love each other. And you can love someone all the time, no matter what.

    "Commitments" are important especially when it comes to families. Children. A couple have children that is a commitment to be there for each other for the sake of the family (children mostly). Still... guess what? We are still friends... peel away the centuries of tradition and rule and ceremony and expectations... and what are we?

    Good friends.

    Good friends can set in a Diner together and simply enjoy being together, sharing about everything. Cry together. Right into the Omelet!

    I am not aware of anyone wanting to be narried haha... it is a way for two people to affirm anything they want between each other. That was my thought on it. You could "narry" as friends. Narry as lovers. Narry to be a family. The important thing is that we are actually communicating and expressing what the union is all about, thinking it through. It is weird I know. Seems like we get married sometimes and never really talk about things like that. We imagine it will all be a fairytale for love, and how can anything ever go wrong!

    Of course it does. And that is when we remember that before anything else, there should be friendship.

    Here are a few cards...

    Page of Cups and the Ace of Cups. Wow sadsag, that looks amazing! Two hearts become one! I would say communications of your feelings to or from him, and then a new beginning in love.

    I expect to hear nothing less than love miracles in your life from now forward.

    love and blessings from the Eastside. A little cloudy here today, it is beautiful though.


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