Astra how are you?



  • Hey sadsag

    I will keep writing you as I am about to scream... so as long as I keep trying to help someone else my life may hold together. (My little helicopter battery just went bad, so I can't even fly that now... ugh... I know it doesn't sound like much to you, however that was like one thing in my life working for enjoyment... so now that is not working either... so fine, whatever. I will type to you and hope I can keep doing this and not go insane today.

    I have thought I could be insane. Do you think I am? My ex and the kids think so, and since I am always around them I am starting to believe them. Mayeb its all a joke, Haha.. okay I am laughing and smiling... yippie... I am not sure I really exist.

    I will draw another celtic cross for you... this may be marathon tarot readings for sad sag day to keep me from walking outside and SCREAMING at the top of my lungs... they would send someone then wouldn't they?

    Okay here are some more cards for you...

    Situation at this moment - Page of Swords - that is you taking some sort of risk in your thinking, about something.

    Crossing this is the Knight of Swords - Could be L... no I don't think so, as there is a King of Pentacles fading away, and I think that represents L.

    Below, the Ace of Cups. So that is a new love, that has been a foundation for you. So getting something started in love has been a foundation in your life. That love is very important to you. This is not L, this is A.... Ace of Cups....

    So, above you is the 9 of Pentacles so your material life is very important to you. We have addressed that already. How your financial security is vital. This card really sums that up.

    Approaching is the 9 of Cups... so that is the approach of something very happy for you, very soon, This is like immediately happening sadsag. I would look out your window and see if you see that card pulling up in your driveway.

    This page of Swords and Knight Swords crossing you, that is another situation than L. L is fading back there (K of Pentacles). This page is a someone else. Could be you... however this is the Knight and that is always a male.

    Furture environment - The 2 of Swords, so this continues the Page - Knight Swords energy into something that is an agreement. Affirming something of the mind, there is balance there... somehow this card and those 2 court cards are connected.

    Outer influences - Resurrection - Judgement - This is what the outside world is looking in on as they behold your life right now... this is emergence as a new baby girl in a way that is you. Somehow your life is becoming a new person even now... sure... L is back there, but the real story is YOU sadsag... you are the one who is in love with life, with love itself. That is resurrection... emerging into a new life so beautiful, that nothing can ever hurt you ever again.

    I know you have cried over that man... he meant the world to you... and to see him so distant, that has to be so hard. Doesn't he realize... how much he means to me? Yes he does, I think we all do... its just that life doesn't always present the perfect scenario to create storybook romance... once in a while miracles happen. I have not seen any miracles in a long time... so I can only conclude that the real story is within. In side of each of us is a love that is complete in itself. And until we find it, we find painful situations...

    So, judgment... you are floating up... and L will see you from below... I hope you are wearing pants and not a dress when he looks up haha...

    Then, the Hopes and fears... 8 of wands... this card is wanting so much to see something change so badly. And quick! This is messages too... you long to hear from him, long to see things develop. And yet, the real longing is for yourself. To feel YOU floating free... without any constraints... alone if need be and being okay with that. Nothing wrong with alone, we are always alone really. I know they say we are never alone. And I guess that is true... God... maybe angels... are always there... invisible spirits watching.

    Outcome = The Star which is hope... so this is the end of your pursuit, the culmination of everything, the finish line the stopping point. Hope, Tzaddi in the Hebrew keys... which means "fish hook"... have you been fishing lately? Like seafood, I love seafood... we don't eat it a whole lot in Spokane, it is burgers and Chinese.... fish hook means you are drawing out your love that you long for... from the waters of endless love... you create the love you long for really. It isn't a matter of waiting for "the one" to show... it is a matter of going fishing, casting your own line, looking to see where they are biting... this means HOPE is a STAR that is a START of something new for you.

    You see sadsag? I keep coming back to that new love for you, somehow, someone... like a dream come true... can you believe that? The past doesn't make very good lovers... the past tends to keep repeating the past... until we find ourselves reborn.

    So... something for sure that is beautiful emerging for you quickly. Suddenly I think! 9 of Cups is the Wish card, and what have you been wishing for lately? That is yours, with a BIG GIANT BOW on it sadsag. I see something, someone for you, with ribbons, and a bow and a package that says I LOVE YOU... from the most wonderful person in the entire Universe... YOU.

    So, there! Another reading.

    The ACE of Cups again... did you see that?

    So we have the Fool, 6 swords and 9 of cups entering into your life soon... A wish, a leap of faith and a beautiful voyage by water I think... fishing perhaps... a search for someone you have dreamed of. This will be the most wonderful journey of your life... up.

    blessings... this is helping me... I find as long as I just keep giving readings, I am not even thinking about my life at all.... now I just need to figure out how I can KEEP doing just this and I should be out of the woods I hope.... at least I am not screaming... a good sign....



  • Sadsag

    Sitting here and thought I would try another reading for you... I am looking for repeating patterns.

    Today's reading as shown below repeats the Knight Pentacle from two days ago, and the 2 of Swords from yesterday, and Hanged Man from 2 days ago.

    Also, this pattern is appearing, that on EACH reading we have a KING and a KNIGHT.

    King C, King P, and today a King W

    and

    Knight P, Knight S, and Knight P (again)

    The Hanged Man is an energy that is "hanging around" your center position in life, The 2 of Swords (sort of deep introspection) went from a "future" position yesterday to a past position today. So that makes sense. You must have really been reflecting yesterday.

    The Knight P from the "hope and fear" pos of 2 days ago is now in the "crossing" pos today, over the Hanged man.

    So, in general there is a strong male energy staying around your life, 2 men. A King and a Knight Pentacles. The Kings are not showing as physical, only immaterial bodies. The Knight is the only one trying to manifest in your life. So the attributes of this Knight is someone you want to see in your life. Perhaps you identify with the Knight Pentacle as your dream of a companion.

    Then the other repeating cards are cards of reflection and introspection. So it sounds to me like you are reflective a lot now, and that a Knight Pentacle factors large in your life, or the energies connected to that card. Practical focus, masculine drive perhaps. Maybe you are simply really pondering something financial a lot, or a material matter.

    I dunno... I like to look for patterns like this and wanted to experiment on you a little.

    The fact that on each reading there has been a king and a knight is very interesting. Plus the fact that NO queens have appeared. 2 different pages but no queens. I find that of interest.

    Also that yesterday and today both readings end with a King seems to be saying something about an imminent outcome. I still want to say a man is soon to be a part of your life. There is simply too much male court cards that keep showing. Not sure that it is L, I know you are trying to remove him from your experience. I don't think it is him because ALL of the Kings are different. And the Knight is the only one repeating and that is the Pentacles. So a new man (king) with strong Knight Pentacle personality seems to be the indication.

    Also today there is a strong "turning" around of something related to your work. Change of path or some adjustment of your work schedule or something. Today also shows something VERY happy approaching, So that would be something to be expecting.

    Please let me know if you read this, whether any of this tracks with your own life, I am always curious to see whether the readings are in fact reading YOU and not just things about me. The jury is still out on that one as far as I am concerned.



  • Astra,

    You are free to practice on me all you want. It is interesting that they are all male cards, but then I have always had many males in my life. I have many girl friends as well. I think having two sons it is difficult to escape having lots of male energy. but I know those are not the males yo have in mind 😉

    As for being introspective, that is certainly true. It is part of the healing process. Of course I have been doing a lot of thinking and feeling since L left. I was home sick yesterday so perhaps a bit more yesterday with no work to distract me. As for financial, I am always thinking about that. Working on the basement to get it ready to rent, even though the idea of having a stranger come live in my house freaks me out a bit.

    I can't think of any particular turn around at work. My schedule shifts quite a bit but it is nothing out of the ordinary. That is one of the benefits and one of the drawbacks of my job. It is stable and pretty much the same all of the time, but on the other hand it is not as stressful as having to change jobs.

    As for a man coming into my life, who knows? It is not likely to be L. I am pretty sure he is gone for good. I thought that last time too though so he might surprise me. But then i might surprise him by saying no or requiring more of him than he is capable of giving. I am not holding my breath this time though. Trying to move on. And the hanged man, doesn't that mean being stuck in some way, unable to move? That would fit, at least for now.

    The patterns are interesting. I will leave interpreting them you. I am no good at that part. I guess time will tell if the cards are accurate. Again, you were pretty right on with L the last time, all of the thinking and introspection he was doing and our feelings about each other. the feelings were there all along, like you said, it just took him a long time to be brave enough to face them. Of course, we forgot to look at the ending, the part where he got scared again 😞 So I am game to keep watching the cards. Maybe you will be right again and my king is on his way, white horse and all 😉



  • Astra,

    I just realized I missed a whole reading! The one where you start out screaming. no you are not crazy. the ex is the last person you should listen to about that! They will always tell you you are crazy because the alternative is that they are crazy 😉 But hanging out with you ex could drive you crazy so be careful with that! I'm sorry your battery died. It is particularly sad if the helicopter was your only source of joy.

    So that reading seemed to be all about letting go of the past (easier said than done as you very well know) and starting a new and exciting life. That would be nice. And I do agree that the love is inside of us, that we don't get love from outside but from within. That is very true, and honestly i do have self love. i know I am all that and a bag of chips too! 😉 And L knows it too and that is why he is so stupid and making himself just as sad as he is making me. I think he is the one with self love issues. Anyway, blah blah blah I agree there are no fairly tale endings. I lost that belief in my divorce. I thought I had my happily ever after but then the wicked other woman entered into my magical forest and everything died. And now L is fading away too. I can feel him fading and drifting further away. I want to hold on but I can't because i know it just means more pain for me.

    Change? Yes i want things to change but only if they change for the better. I have had quite enough changing for the worse. If I could change to be content alone, that would be okay. I don' t think I can. i KNOW I will be okay, i know I can take care of myself, but I don't think I will ever be content. That is just not the way I work. I am a Sag with Gemini rising and a Leo moon and Sag Venus. I am all about relationships and partnerships. And I am good at them too, I just seemed to have picked a couple of rotten apples.

    A new me huh? funny that you picked the words baby girl (of course I am a girl so that makes sense) because that is what L always called me. Baby girl. I don't know why actually, it was just an affectionate term he used. "Come on baby girl, let's go" stuff like that. And I have always called my little cat baby girl but now i stop myself whenever I do it.

    So I will happily take the hope card, the kings, the new me, the cups filled with love. I hope you are right. What about you? Do you ever do readings for yourself? I wish i had some cards, i would draw them for you. You would have to interpret them though.

    So i don't know much about Spokane, but here there are many places where people set up regularly in bars, taverns etc and do readings. There are people who line up to have their cards read. They charge anywhere from $10 to $75 (that i know of) for a reading. there is one lady in a Chinese restaurant here that has been reading there on Monday nights for as long as I have lived here. You have to make an appointment to see her she is so busy. And she is not good to boot! I had her read for me one time and she used some numerology and did the math wrong and had me on the wrong year and told me all kinds of things that were not true. I have no idea if they can actually make a living at it but you should give it a try. You could give this woman a run for her money! Just an idea. Perhaps you need to leave the starbucks and go where people are drinking spirits (no pun intended). It puts them more in the mood I think and open to your skills.

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow, not that i am complaining. Two readings in one day that predict love and happiness works for me. Now if you could just pin down a time, location and a name...



  • Hi sadsag

    Ex's are actually a blessing in disguise... you want to become a stronger, more loving and mature person? Continue living with your ex. You will grow in ways you never fathomed. 🙂

    So, that is interesting about the Tarot reading in public, I never thought about that. I would love to do that though! I think things are a little more progressive over on your side, Spokane is a sort of a Stepford community... 🙂 I should approach some bars about this...

    I was sitting here running through several spreads with you, I keep searching for how the Tarot really helps... I don't know that I have found that yet.

    I did a few spreads on you this morning, without asking anything in particular and the cards were a mixed bag... and then on you and L... again, some nice cards here and there... saw the "wicked woman"... however the outcome still didn't look so great... then I asked about you and a new guy, and the cards are so much better! You can see a pic below...

    LOVERS below... Fool crossing (so you are really wanting to start something new with someone!)

    The Temperance card is your situation, so that is you sort of "holding back" because of the broken relationship issues... so you are restraining your heart from just opening up again. However the Fool says that deep down you do want to trust!

    Above is the 2 of Wands, and that is a very affirming YES energy to a path, so I think your thoughts are indeed agreeing that you would like that.

    Fading is 7 of Pentacles, so that is a material pause, physical time out... I think that shows the "physical" part of relationship being sort of limbo not really happening.

    Approaching the 3 of Swords, which is another deeply reflective card. Not anything negative, simply shows some thoughtfulness about a new relationship, you could be trying to "see" the new, the bright, the little girl laughter again with someone - in spite of the bozos you have dealt with.

    Then the 2 of swords... more reflection.... so you can see how much your heart is healing and becoming strong again for someone new to enter. The "reflection" cards we have seen in your cards lately (incl the Hanged Man) all point to HEALING. That is what the Hanged Man is about... he/she is suspended, nothing really happening, for a reason. So she can heal herself. She doesn't have to "do" anything to right the past... she knows she can't "make" anything happen, so she focuses on herself, loving herself, and letting her heart lead the way to love with another - in the right time.

    We really don't even have to ever think about love with someone else really... the angels know our hearts inside and out, know what it is we really seek. And "arrange" little paths and events to happen in the right way, at the right time... to bring love around.

    Then the 8 of Pentacles. At last!!! The pause is ended of your physical love life!

    Then the Page of Pentacles... little steps in love... little kisses, a hug... a smile... tender expressions.... then the Chariot... which is "off and running!"

    So you can see. This spread made sense to me for you. The other 3 or 4 didn't. That could be a part of the reading process, is determining what course we should take ... pose that question... and then watch the cards to see what makes sense and ends on POSITIVE notes. THat was the thing on this spread it was ending on a very UP moving out! kind of energy.... the others were landing you in 8 swords land or something else not really "up".

    Anyway I thought that was cool. I do think your heart is sort of moving you toward something nice ultimately in a new relationship. We can keep "loving" people from our past, I still pray for those I felt deepest love for and it didn't work out... hey, I can't "make" it happen... so I love them from a distance and wait for something better.

    You have something better on the way.


    I even ran through this again and got the same results!

    Fool situation, crossed with the 4 cups, Page cups above

    10 swords below, that is the reflective energy again...

    2 Pentacles receding, that is the physical aspect of relationship "back there" you are letting go of.

    Soon, the Empress...

    10 Cups, so happy.... Knight Wands (him)... Death, Hermit (transforming through love, creative energy also being tapped into = success on many level$)

    So... the readings keep pointing to NEW... inho...

    Outcome is 5 swords (you change your thinking about love) + Lovers + 9 CUPS you get your wish - LOVE. (A better package too).



  • Hi sadsag

    Ex's are actually a blessing in disguise... you want to become a stronger, more loving and mature person? Continue living with your ex. You will grow in ways you never fathomed. 🙂

    So, that is interesting about the Tarot reading in public, I never thought about that. I would love to do that though! I think things are a little more progressive over on your side, Spokane is a sort of a Stepford community... 🙂 I should approach some bars about this...

    I was sitting here running through several spreads with you, I keep searching for how the Tarot really helps... I don't know that I have found that yet.

    I did a few spreads on you this morning, without asking anything in particular and the cards were a mixed bag... and then on you and L... again, some nice cards here and there... saw the "wicked woman"... however the outcome still didn't look so great... then I asked about you and a new guy, and the cards are so much better! You can see a pic below...

    LOVERS below... Fool crossing (so you are really wanting to start something new with someone!)

    The Temperance card is your situation, so that is you sort of "holding back" because of the broken relationship issues... so you are restraining your heart from just opening up again. However the Fool says that deep down you do want to trust!

    Above is the 2 of Wands, and that is a very affirming YES energy to a path, so I think your thoughts are indeed agreeing that you would like that.

    Fading is 7 of Pentacles, so that is a material pause, physical time out... I think that shows the "physical" part of relationship being sort of limbo not really happening.

    Approaching the 3 of Swords, which is another deeply reflective card. Not anything negative, simply shows some thoughtfulness about a new relationship, you could be trying to "see" the new, the bright, the little girl laughter again with someone - in spite of the bozos you have dealt with.

    Then the 2 of swords... more reflection.... so you can see how much your heart is healing and becoming strong again for someone new to enter. The "reflection" cards we have seen in your cards lately (incl the Hanged Man) all point to HEALING. That is what the Hanged Man is about... he/she is suspended, nothing really happening, for a reason. So she can heal herself. She doesn't have to "do" anything to right the past... she knows she can't "make" anything happen, so she focuses on herself, loving herself, and letting her heart lead the way to love with another - in the right time.

    We really don't even have to ever think about love with someone else really... the angels know our hearts inside and out, know what it is we really seek. And "arrange" little paths and events to happen in the right way, at the right time... to bring love around.

    Then the 8 of Pentacles. At last!!! The pause is ended of your physical love life!

    Then the Page of Pentacles... little steps in love... little kisses, a hug... a smile... tender expressions.... then the Chariot... which is "off and running!"

    So you can see. This spread made sense to me for you. The other 3 or 4 didn't. That could be a part of the reading process, is determining what course we should take ... pose that question... and then watch the cards to see what makes sense and ends on POSITIVE notes. THat was the thing on this spread it was ending on a very UP moving out! kind of energy.... the others were landing you in 8 swords land or something else not really "up".

    Anyway I thought that was cool. I do think your heart is sort of moving you toward something nice ultimately in a new relationship. We can keep "loving" people from our past, I still pray for those I felt deepest love for and it didn't work out... hey, I can't "make" it happen... so I love them from a distance and wait for something better.

    You have something better on the way.


    I even ran through this again and got the same results!

    Fool situation, crossed with the 4 cups, Page cups above

    10 swords below, that is the reflective energy again...

    2 Pentacles receding, that is the physical aspect of relationship "back there" you are letting go of.

    Soon, the Empress...

    10 Cups, so happy.... Knight Wands (him)... Death, Hermit (transforming through love, creative energy also being tapped into = success on many level$)

    So... the readings keep pointing to NEW... inho...

    Outcome is 5 swords (you change your thinking about love) + Lovers + 9 CUPS you get your wish - LOVE. (A better package too).



  • Well Astra,

    I don't know what to say except that I hope you are right. There is lots of reflecting going on for sure. It is part of the process. If you don't reflect on it, process the pain you just stuff it and it comes back again to bite you later. i don't know, i don't seem to be able to stuff these feelings even if i wanted to. I just wish i could do it a bit faster! I am reading a book about commitmentphobes. Very interesting. They do point out over and over that these men make the women feel the craziest. Their behavior is so inconsistent so confusing that it makes you crazy. L certainly fits the profile and I don't think he even realizes it.

    So out with the old and in with the new, right. It is nice that the cards keep turning up the same thing. I wonder if they say that just because it is what you want them to say? You want me to feel better, being the romantic that you are, and so it picks up that energy. Or are they really picking up my energy? I don't know. Either way I hope you are right. I do know that things will get better. i will stop processing these feelings, move on, let go of the past and it will all be better. They may or may not ever be what i want but they will be better than they are right now. And your positive readings and your gentle support do make me feel better, so thank you for that.

    I do think you should go ask around in a few places. I am sure you are right that we are more liberal over here, but surely there is some place there that would let you do readings. Once people know you are there it could improve their business as well. Put a sign outside so people know you are there and they will come in. It is worth a try.

    As for living with the ex hmmm? I am not sure I want to grow that much 😉 Since my ex husband is living with the OW, actually they are married now, that might not be a very good option. Living with L ? Well that could be interesting. Actually I think he would love to have me around, no strings attached. It is the strings that freak him out but we have a great time together. Well you are a braver person than I am and I am impressed that you are making it work. Growth and maturity are good things but i guess I will stay small and immature 😉

    Well I guess i better get on with my day. i need to get out there and find that king you keep promising. He is not going to walk up ans knock on my door. That much I am pretty sure about. Perhaps I should go hang out at the starbucks. That's what people tell me to do.

    love and light

    sadsag



  • Morning Astra

    Thank you for pulling more cards for me. Perhaps I should start looking at Mexico or even Spain. Shall focus on Spanish speaking areas today whilst surfing the net. One thing if I'm permitted to ask... do you foresee this happening soon?

    Wanted to piggy back on what Sadsag has said about charging in public places for your readings.. In UK this is fairly big. A few weeks in advance it will be advertised that so and so will be appearing in such and such pub on whatever date with a phone number to book a place. Psychic/clairvoyant readings seem to be well accepted in UK and a lot of people will attend even if they tell others they're only going 'for a laugh' but let's face it, we are ALL intrigued by what's to be said.

    I certainly agree with Sadsag that it's something to definitely look into. Perhaps UK is a bit far to uproot 😉 but maybe research some pubs or church halls (to book) near Sadsag and advertise a month before travelling there giving everyone a chance to be aware of your event and spend a weekend there doing your bit. They're call Psychic Fairs if I recall correctly in UK.

    You have a wonderful talent Astra and it should not be ignored.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained

    Good luck

    YB x



  • sadsag...

    what is an "OW"

    ?



  • Astra, it's Other Woman



  • Oh, okay... other woman... got it...

    Sadsag. what are your feelings about her, this OW? If she was to call you up today, and wanted to talk over coffee how would you feel about that? How would you react?

    blessings...



  • Hi Astra,

    Sorry to report no kings in sight. Perhaps L has not faded out quite far enough. Today is his birthday so he has been heavy on my mind. I guess there is still more introspection to go through. I agree we can continue to love those in our past. Some I still care about and some i couldn't care less. I suspect he is one I will continue to care about. I feel sad for him that his fear outweighs what his heart wants.

    I hope all is well with you. I hope your move went well and things are settled and looking up. I don't know about your sign but 2013 and January in particular was supposed to be great for sagis. Yummybrummy and I are not feeling the love in the stars, so far. Ever hopeful that positive change is coming though 🙂

    sadsag



  • Hey sadsag

    Okay on L and him on your mind. We have these connections with one another that are always there in some way. I think that is nice, we can still love one another even though "things" aren't working out physically, or on some obvious way. Situations can always change. They can also go on perpetually in some weird state as well! 🙂

    Here. let's do a Celtic Cross spread and see what is going on, and if something shows up...

    and since you are still having a thing for him, let's just be blunt about it and ask the Tarot.

    "Dear Tarot... can you help sadsag here with here situation with L? What is her path with him? What is best for her? What is the situation with L moving forward?" Questions like that... you can do this too... I mean, you might as well del with it and if your heart is still there with him, just use the Tarot to help sort it out and go with the flow.

    So, lets assign some specific questions to a Celtic Cross spread and see what turns up...

    1. Situation - Where are matters at between sadsag and L?

    The Fool - Trust. The situation is simply what it is, and trust is about the only option. The Fool doesn't know anything really, the Fool is poised at the threshold of new discoveries in love, however what exactly those discoveries are remain to be seen. So the Situation is trust like a little child.

    2. What is the single greatest challenge affecting this relationship?

    8 of Cups. 8's are very intense energies of developments, moving forward (sometimes moving away) but the idea is MOTION and changes and generally rapid developments. I think there is a deep yearning (8's are just like 3's, yearning to reach the conclusion of the next number, 4 and 9 which are both fulfilling numbers). So this sense of wanting to move the relationship forward is very strong, and yet it appears to be blocked or frustrated, since we phrased the question as a "challenge".

    3. What does sadsag really, really want as regards L?

    The King of Swords. I think sadsag really, really wants L. Period. There is no way around it. It is not something "as regards" it is the something itself, and that something is a King. You see him as a swords king apparently as you feel there are issues in his thinking that perhaps are keeping him away. SO when you think of him, you see him as some guy adrift in his thoughts maybe, thinking a lot.

    4. What does L really, really want as regards sadsag?

    The Queen of Wands. He likewise really really wants you I believe. This is the only queen to show up in the reading so that is indicating you.

    5. Something from the past that is affecting the relationship today.

    4 of Wands. You two REALLY had a thing with each other, it was fun and exciting (thinking of those motorcycle rides... your arms around him... it was heaven... laughing. lighthearted and very warm... this was success as a couple that you TASTED and then it went away and that is still affecting the two of you. You remember the good feelings, the sense of closeness and shared purpose... that is a very strong influence over the relationship to this day.

    6. Where does the relationship seem to be headed?

    I think something is happening or soon will happen physically with the two of you. You can see the Ace of Pentacles hidden in the center of the Fool card... now it is grown into a 3 pentacles. These are both PHYSICAL energies... something has started in the physical dimension that you can not see (Fool, trust) and it is growing into a 3 soon. Which is a strong yearning physical and working energy. So something is coming that is physical, not a foundation but a WORKING situation with the two of you. So you will be meeting up with him to talk, connect again.

    7. What environment is best for sadsag and L right now?

    Hermit. So, for the time being though, you and he are isolated and are developing the "higher love principle" even though you are not together. This is "yod" the open hand extended. So this tells me that even though you are apart physically, there is still a thing between the two of you. There has to be. This card simply says even though you are apart, don't give up is what I get.

    8. What are some "outer influences" affecting the two of them? The Universe. Higher powers. You and :L: are a part of a story that is developing, and there is involvement from higher levels. So the "influence" is coming down from the Universe over the two of you, so this means more trust. More simply abiding in a place of isolation if need be for a time. It will change though, and you and he will be together again.

    9. What is a hidden factor in this relationship?

    The DEVIL. Probably the OW>... an outside influence had entered that applied some "pressure" on the true love you shared. Where did she come from? WHo cares. What matters is that as long as you love L and are willing to let the UNIVERSE unveil a most delightful and delicious story fort the Two of you... something AMAZING and MIRACULOUS will develop! So, the Devil is simple saying DO NOT judge based on appearances. No matter what the 'beast' did/does/will do... doesn't matter... all that matters is LOVE and KEEPING THE FAITH.

    10. What is sadsag's best approach to the relationship with L at this time?

    KING OF CUPS - LOVE HIM as you can right now even though it is not "happening" as you would like. This is mature love, steady, settled (kings are simply seated and not doing anything). So the this is a card of LOVE to a man, and as L is the guy that floats your boat, you are LOVING him.

    Unless there is some other guy you haven't told me about.

    So, sadsag... this reading is telling me that things are STILL cooking between you and him. I would keep going as you are and love him from a distance. Wait. Stay trusting. THe Universe has some hand in all of this... anytime you see the Universe card appear it is a sign that there is HIGHER involvement in a situation and you may not be seeing all of the angels. Angles.

    Hey I hope that helps sadsag...

    as for me... yes. today is the big move. from a house to an apartment. Yippee I love to move (by faith). It wil put me near some more open ground though for flying helicopters and foam airplanes so that is nice...

    SO nice things coming for you and yummy too... nice things are always coming...



  • Hi Astra,

    Hmm? How do I feel about the OW now? Good question. I don't give it much thought really. I met her once, before I knew they were having an affair. I thought she was a bit trampy and was not sure why my ex thought so highly of her. They worked together and he talked about her. When he split i was very upset to think that she would be around my children but that never happened because my kids have refused to be in the same room with her for the most part. I stay out of that but secretly i approve of their choices. I saw her again at my son's graduation from college 2 years ago. She has gotten fat and does not look trampy anymore, now she looks very frumpy 🙂 I guess honestly i have no desire to be in the same room with her and she would have to have a really good reason to talk with me before i would consider it. It is not likely to happen though.

    Now to the reading. It sounds so much like the other ones you used to do last year. Things are happening behind the scenes, in his head, in his heart, etc. Mine remains constant as it did last year. Don't ask my why though since I know the man has issues. But like you said,we did experience how good it could be and that is difficult to let go of. Interesting that when you asked about how we see each other the king and queen came up. As for the OW, well I have no idea if there is one. I actually doubt it. He didn't date the last time we were apart. he said he had no desire to be with anyone else. Last year, just before we got back together he told me that if he was going to be in relationship with anyone it would be with me. He had many opportunities while we were together as well because he traveled without me several times. He never did. he has told me before that it just is not his style. The Devil could be his fear. I think it is hidden from him. I am not at all sure that he understands that is what is happening. Or it could be any of his friends who may be influencing him away from me. Again i kind of doubt that. His friends and his parents all seemed to be in favor of our relationship. Of course I have no way of knowing if that is still the case.

    So where does this leave me? Right where i have been. Trying to live my life without him in it. Trying to accept that he is gone while knowing that it is always possible that his pattern will repeat and he will contact me again. Only time will tell I guess. I have no intention of contacting him but he is never, so far, very far from my thoughts. I am learning that i do not let go easily. A counselor that I used to see said i am like a dog with a bone, i just keep hanging on, refusing to let go of what I want. I guess you could call me stubborn 😉

    So the big move is here. I am sure it is difficult, change always is, (says she who resists change!). Moving is always a chore. There could be benefits in living in an apartment. I look at it from time to time and think how much less work it would be than keeping up a house and yard. It is good that you will have a place to fly your helicopters. That is a nice plus. Hopefully you will find other reasons to be happy there. That is my wish for you. Is there a parking space for your motorcycle? 🙂 Have you found a pub yet to let you do readings?

    I hope you are right that nice things are coming for yummy. She is in need of a few good things right now. And good things are coming for you too !

    sadsag



  • Hi Astra,

    All settled into your new place? How is the helicopter flying going? Found a pub yet? Am I nagging you? Sorry. I am just bored with my life, all of this waiting for who knows what, that it is much more fun on focus on yours. I think you have a future in pub readings 😉

    I read your other thread, your theory that men fall in love with women who love them. Hmmm? Not sure I can go along with that. I have heard though, that women have sex with men they fall in love with and men fall in love with women they have (good) sex with. So if that is true, then in a way you are right. On the other hand women usually do not go after men even if they love them. Is that cultural, learned, genetically programmed, stupid... Who knows? It just seem to be the way it is. I can only speak from my own limited experience but i have found that the men only hang around if they did the initial pursuing. Of course L seems to be proving that theory wrong. So I guess my conclusion is, who the hell knows? It's all a crap shoot!

    But even more interesting is your statement that you know the angel who loves you. That is intriguing for a completely bored mind like mine 😉

    sagsag



  • Hi sadsag

    Okay I am hearing you on your life setting with L and feeling that nothing is happening... yes I know that feeling well haha... I wish I knew him... could be a matchmaker. In so many of these love situations I want to reach out somehow to all of the connected parties and share, to the other person what the other is feeling.. then I could relay messages back and forth and we might then get somewhere! As it is, the "mystery" of it all seems to foster Tarot work though :0.... maybe that gives blokes like me something to do....

    Honestly though, don't you think honest communication with one another would solve so much? Take L for example.. would it help if he just came out and TOLD you what is going on with him, and was totally honest with you? Then you have something to go on and you can then move on or wait... but at least you have INFORMATION to work with instead of all of this nebulous, wishy washy "I wonder what he is thinking" stuff... that is a big percentage of reading requests... "what is he thinking?".. I want to just hand the person the phone and say "well why don't you call him and ask?" .. of course we all like our privacy and walls and defenses and all that... maybe we don't like phones... anyway, it does give tarot readers something to do, and maybe that is most of what makes life interesting. Break something... and that gives someone a job trying to fix it.

    Chances are even if I dropped in on L he would just say "get lost creep" and that wouldn't help... unless I ride up on brand new Victory Motorcycle and we have something in common, then his guard comes down, we go out for beers and can talk, guy to guy! Do guys ever talk? I haven't had many emotional talks with guys in y life, they (we) seem mostly caught up in whatever activity of work seems to be the path... emotional issues get little regard by most males. I swear I feel more like a girl than a boy deep down, maybe something got wired wrong in me as a kid... i had a strange childhood...

    Anyway, you get the idea... if we could only communicate honestly and be direct... that would seem to facilitate motion. What happens seems to be that we find someone and fall in love with them, and then it doesn't work out, and yet the other person (conveniently for them) doesn't properly end it or sever the connection or whatever... leaves the person hanging... and then refuses to dialogue or communicate to any significant degree.... well what happens then is if you really had a "thing" for them, and they run away and hide and refuse to see you (doesn't sound like L totally hid though). you sort of drift off into "la-la" land in love, and that is where ANGELS come in. Then your heart is opened to the spirit energy of love and you can start to imagine that person is still with you, if you really love them. That creates "angels" for people who are the beautiful bright and lovely "version" of that ex-lover.

    So, is that real? I dunno. Shrinks would say its schizophrenia. Could be. I like to imagine that there ARE beings "out there" who fall in love with us and want a relationship, however it is not EARTH-EARTH relationship, it is EARTH-ANGEL (or extra-terrestrial) relationships... that takes you into some really out-there concepts and THAT could in fact be what we call ascension. Falling in love with an angel who carries you into this ext dimension of reality.

    That is what I believe is happening in a nutshell. So these ";lovers" who torment us are either

    A) Just some other person just as dumb as we are, with their own fear issues and can't deal with love and are clueless about communicating

    or

    B) They are a physical manifestation of angels, and they ARE in love with us, only they are also trying to "lift us" up to a higher reality where we can ALL start to have some real fun in life instead of grovelling and searching for the crumbs of love and financial abundance. So they are sort of on a mission to love us in a very real physical way, however they must get us OUT of whatever prisons we have imagined for ourselves also, in order to enjoy life.

    It is like love, what good is it going to do to have a love relationship with someone and be broke? You have to be financially free to really enjoy one another! Say L shows up at your door with roses and a stack of bills to see if you can help him with. Are you really going to be wanting that? H3LL no!

    I like option B because at least it TRIES to make sense of what is a senseless "love-slaughter" atmosphere in life. I am always pondering the foundations of life and trying to understand what is really going on with us in the hopes of stumbling across something, anything that can help us all, In love AND financially and also in health. Those seem to be the major issues.

    As for that thread I started on ladies falling in love first, I think that was born out of my concern for women to be open to loving a man deeply and not worry about seeing him physically... however the younger women have a biologiocal clock ticking and they can't be bothered with weird spiritual theories about angels they need to have S*X ang get a baby cooking and make a family! SO they are the ones most under the pressure to find a guy... and explains why you see a lot of ladies on the forum and a lot of younger ones... WHERE is my guy can be translated WHERE IS MY BABY! *and I guess I need a guy to do that... in most cases, unless you can afford to go to a lab and have it done but that seems weird to me, don't the babies need a father figure? No? Okay, whatever, I give up haha...

    So yeah... I reflect on all this... your situation with L just sounds like communication issue to me... if I knew him I bet I could get you two hooked up in no time... who knows, maybe i can relocate over there and start getting those pub jobs as a reader and figure out hot to meet him and start that process for reconciliation! I am in a tough spot here though I still care about my ex and can't just walk out on her... we have two teens still here, and she is stretched to the breaking point in work and I am struggling financial too... so it adds up to i get to go nowhere, unless something changes (*Hanged Man). So... I shifted gears and now I am going BACK to just having fun with toys again like I did as a kid... now it is RC helicopters for me sadag! Yippieeeeee... I love to fly those things I guess cause it makes me feel in control of a life that has largely felt out of control, or under control by other forces... (matter of fact I am hoping to pick up a 50-size bird today, nitro heli Century Raven... not exactly a girlfriend... and not exactly S E X... and not exactly everything else i ever conceived life was supposed to be... but you know it is fun as all get out and I am so worn out I just wanna have fun again......

    So my "angel"... someone I made up i guess... imaginary friend. maybe she is the girl I fell in love with when I was 6 years old in Georgia... and then ended up committing suicide I heard. Maybe she is my angel. Maybe is someone else, I dunno and I am worn out from trying to answer questions like that. Helicopters I can figure out. I can see how the parts fit together and where the fuel goes and what they do once you get them in the air...

    GIrls? Love? I could never figure that out in a million years and I have given up trying... maybe one day i will meet a helicopter girl... "oh wow... you fly big nitro RC helicopters too? Really? Wow..."

    Until them, I plan on having bookoodles of fun... ALONE.

    Okay, you got me talking there haha... more than you wanted to hear.... So lets work on "un-boring" you sadsag! What activities do you really love to do besides daydreaming about L?

    astra



  • Astra,

    I pick option A “Just some other person just as dumb as we are, with their own fear issues and can't deal with love and are clueless about communicating” Sad as it is I think this is much more likely the case for most of us. I agree that communication is the issue most of the time.

    There is definitely a communication breakdown between L and me, as in no communication at all. Should I change that? I have thought of it many times. I could just call or text him and he would respond. I have been tempted but just cannot seem to do it. Where does it get me? He responds and is sweet and that is nice but goes nowhere. He does not respond at all or he does we see each other and 6 months down the line he bolts again. Any way I look at it I end up hurt again. Am I afraid of being hurt again, YEP. The thing is if I thought talking to him would help I would. The last time we spoke he had his mind made up and nothing I said or could have said was going to change it. His fear had taken over and he was on the run. The problem is that I don’t think he understands it is fear. Like you say, men are not emotionally enlightened beings and I don’t think he has a flippin clue what makes him feel so uncomfortable once he has and/or expresses feelings for a woman. He just feels the panic and knows he has to leave. Then once he is away the panic subsides he starts missing her and contacts her and starts all over again. Will that happen this time? I don’t know. I don’t want to go to him and talk him into being with me. He has to come to that on his own and if he does this time he has to do it my way or it is bye bye. If I go to him and say okay, now we do this my way, what motivation does he have? Getting past his fear is going to take hard work and unless he really wants to do it, it won’t happen. Of course by not going to him I run the risk of never seeing him again. But unless he really wants this, that will be the end result anyway. So I will wait to see what he does. I suspect, that this time I will not hear from him. I think he came back the last time, gave it a good try, couldn’t do it (even though he doesn’t understand why) and will just go on to the next one and do it all over again.

    Am I sitting around while I wait? No. I have lots of friends and lots of interests so that is not the issue. I stay busy and I have even been dating. Perhaps that other king will come along and then he will be out of luck when he finally gets his head out of his backside. Why turn to the tarot? To give you something to do with all of your time, of course;) Who knows? It is interesting. It is something to ponder. If there is energy or angels or universe or some other power that is in charge of these events, then the cards have as much chance as anything else of tapping into it. Would I bet my house on it, no. That being said, the last time L and I were split your readings were pretty much right on. Whatever you saw or felt or just guessed would happen, did happen. So if I am going to have anyone read for me, I choose you 🙂

    The idea of you coming here and meeting him is pretty funny. If you or anybody showed up in a pub where he was with tarot cards he would be the first one out of there. He is waaay to much engineer to even consider it. Would he have a beer and talk about his feelings. Very unlikely. He went out with one of his best friends the weekend after we split and never even told him. L keeps thing very close to the chest, which is of course the problem. If he could talk about his feelings then none of this would be happening. But the visual of this event does make me smile.

    As for the lot of women in the world and why they are on the tarot board. I think it is simply that women are more in touch with their feelings (yes you are rare) and want to believe in something, want some hope and seek it out. Typically men do not. The don’t talk about it, shove it down, pretend they don’t feel it and forge ahead. That is not to imply they don’t have feelings, they do, they just do not want to talk about them. A pity for sure because if they would perhaps many of the problem s of this world could be solved.

    I am sure there are many more things I could say on this topic, but I am being very bad right now. I need to get some work done before I get too far behind. We can continue this discussion later. I do find it interesting.

    TTFN

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    You have given up girls for RC helicopters? That is one way of dealing with it. Like you I wish relationships did not have to be so complicated and confusing. I used to have a very good relationship. We had good communication and things were good for many, many years. It went astray, so to speak, when he quit communicating. Or perhaps he quit communicating because he went astray. I really don’t know which one came first. It doesn’t matter now. Since then all I seem to come across are men ( there have only been 2) who have commitment issues. The books say that is because I have them too so we are attracted to each other. I don’t feel that way, I was fully committed for over 20 years, but if it is the case then perhaps you have the right idea. Where can I get one of the RC helicopters?

    Regardless of how you choose to handle your own relationships, which I know aren’t easy because none of them are, it still think it is very sweet and sensitive of you to try to help all of the forlorn, love lorn people who ask for your readings. It is good karma you are putting out and I am sure your Angel is watching.

    Happy flying

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag

    I read your post before this one and wanted to respond... I wouldn't say I have given up on girls what I have given up on are non-communicative girls. You are so correct, communication issues are the worst thing... and the weird sort of games we play in communication that drives me bonkers. Like this... like "forbidden" topics that is one of my favorites. Like, certain subjects that CAN'T be talked about! Love that one.

    It is this maddening dialogue tricks and techniques that prevent real deep open communication that has caused me to largely give up on human relationships. I have an angel I hang out with *(she flies RC with me) and we get along great! Granted she isn't much to hold in bed... sorta invisible... but I am at a point where I will gladly give up the physical to have real honest, tender dialogue with anyone, and for me right now a spirit angel-fairy being is about it. Extra-terrestrial, a grey probably. Fine with me. I have yet to have her walk out on me, not communicate or any number of other things that "true love" I don't think would really do.

    Maybe I am an idealist and can never find love. OK fine! I am not going to have a relationship that sux and try to convince myself it is real.

    RC planes and helis are great fun! I think its romantic... so could motorcycle riding be! Take trips... so wild... all of these great possibilities in life, to have fun with one another... and we end up in non-communicating relationships and pain and then that affects us emotionally and then next thing you know we lose jobs and then you can't hardy do anything without dough! It is very strange! Almost like torture really, to see how much we can take before our brain explodes!

    JoyLily was sharing about her life and it really makes me mad that life is like this... the ones who seem the most open, tender, and sincere seem to be the very ones that the Universe paints a bullyseye on and says... "ahh! Another one who still believes in love and tenderness and communication! Let;s see who we can bring across their path to drive that out of them!" I know its not really that way, however some days it sure seems like the broken are the very ones that get most of the garbage dumped on them... ugh, one reason I am sticking with toys until further notice. Heli's I can understand how they work... the rest? No clue....

    blessings! Now... more unpacking! 🙂



  • sadsag,

    here is a philosophical question(s) for you (sags are philosophical sign)...

    Lets say L shows up today and wants a relationship. He has flowers and chocolates and tickets to a movie... would that be love? Let's say he does that every day, is sweet to you... brings you more flowers, and other gifts. Takes you out to eat. Would that be love, a relationship with L?

    What I am getting at is, EXACTLY what is it you are looking for with him? Love? What is love? A feeling that someone likes you a lot? Is that what you are looking for with L? or is it simply someone to hang out with and do things with, with a kiss once in a while. Is that love?

    So do you see where I am going with this? So many are pining for some lost lover "out there" and yet it is so vague, like some wispy thing that I have yet to hear defined.

    Is it just s e x? That is easy enough to find, any woman can have that, she is the object of man's desire! So it can't be S E X... that is usually the carrot on the stick for the guys.... be nice... and you get "me"! You have the carrots and the stick, the guys are the ones generally chasing that "hunger". The way we are wired.

    So I don't think it is really S e x ual ... that is some physical experience that is nice however that must not be what the women are wanting. That is easy enough to locate, or you can simply take matters into your own hands and derive about 90% of the pleasure that way if you catch my drift.

    I think in so many cases on this forum, were the guy to appear and fall over himself in love for the lady, she wouldn't know what to do. What would YOU do were L to show up today and profess love and a desire to build some sort of stable relationship? Would that make you happy? What would your next steps be? Talk about what a relationship is? Go out to eat? So see a movie? Get it in writing? Demand marriage so he HAS to have a relationship with you?

    What about tomorrow? Talk some more? Kiss? Cuddle? se x?Then go out to eat? Then go to a movie?

    My point is, what in the world is it exactly that you and all of these other women wanting? What does it look like? We say we want love, a relationship, well EXACTLY what in the world is that? I theorize that in the vast majority of cases were the guy to show, the woman wouldn't know what to do with him after whatever passion is expressed (and the same for the guys. I wouldn't know what to do with a relationship right now, I mean it would be interesting, however I have other issues, financial and such that are much more pressing ...and finding RC helicopters on the cheap).

    Also, keep in mind that without economic stability NO relationship is going to be easy, Lots of breakups because the financial picture is lousy. If any one of us were millionaires, how hard do you think it would be to find a nice relationship? I think you would have your choice of guys! You think I would have trouble finding a date if I had a million bucks? Well perhaps, my teeth are lousy haha...

    Anyway, I am just throwing food for thought at you as you seem to me to be a straight shooter (sags are usually logical and no nonsense). I am always trying to get to the root of things, and with you and L I am trying to see under the hood as to what is really going on.

    Relationships... so many seem to want it... and yet exactly what that should be I seldom hear discussed.

    Blessings, hope your weekend is nice!

    astra


Log in to reply