Astra how are you?



  • Hi Astra,

    Gosh it seems like ages since I have seen your name on here. I hope you are okay. All is well here. I survived my surgery (not that it was ever in doubt) and have completely healed. Life is back to normal for the most part.

    I assume that you are all settled back into your life after your trip. I hope the trip helped and that you have more light and happiness now. you deserve to be happy and I really hope that you find that. L and I are still seeing each other but I am still pretty in the dark about how he feels. he is not really giving me any clues except that he has increased the frequency of his contacts and the amount of time that we spend together. I don't think that really means much though. One of these days I am going to have to sit him down and ask him how he feels and why he is seeing me again. I am just chicken. I am afraid he will just say what he has said in the past, he enjoys seeing me but still does not see a future for us. then I will have to call it quits and not see him anymore.. i just keep putting that off... so much for being grown up and brake and in charge of my life! I have not even done a readings because don't want to see bad news. My head is firmly planted in the sand. Mars is retrograde right now so i keep telling myself just to wait that out and see what happens when it goes direct. That is still several weeks away though so I don't know if i can really wait that long. As you know I am not very patient about this stuff.

    Well i just thought I would pop in and see how you are doing. You have been such a light for me the past few months. I hope things are going well for you. Hope to hear form you soon.

    sadsag



  • Hey Astra,

    I see you are back. 🙂 How are you? it has been ages since I've seen you on here. Not that I have been here much either. I have been really busy. Doing costumes for a play that opens this weekend. I love it, it feeds my creative side but it takes so much time. I also love hanging out with the kids (young adults) because they are so fun. They have such energy and still have faith in all that can be good in life. Being old and jaded I need that every once in a while 😉 Plus they love me and that feeds my igo 🙂

    I am still seeing L. In fact it feels like we are right back where we were before we split. Including the lack of relationship talk or expression of feelings. He gives me little clues but will never really come out and say what he is thinking or feeling. He tells me how happy he is to be with me, displays some jelousy and some insecurity about my feelings and says some non-love type things like he is "sweet on me" . I have decided to just live in the moment and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. So that is where that is. It still seems to be some kind of internal struggle that he is dealing with. When he drinks a little too much, I get a quick look into what he is really feeling. I have to say though, that your readings were so accurate. I love that! You certainly have a gift.

    If you have the time and the inlcination, you could pull a few cards for us just to see where things are headed. No pressure though coz I know you have been busy in your life. Painting again? That is good. That is your soul, your inner life expressing itself. I hope things are going well in your personal life. I know it was a bit rocky there for awhile. One thing I have learned in life is that things change. No matter what is happening now, things will always change. sometimes for the better sometimes for worse, but it will never stay the same. That just is not the way the world works. I am hoping ofr positive changes for you.

    Gttoa go now. have a great day my friend.

    Love and light,

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag

    Hey I have been away being the Hermit and doing some art also (ugh, that has been rough going lately I have to admit I have a lot more fun with Tarot than art lately although maybe its just a phase).

    Okay on you and "L". Sure thing, lets see where things are heading, I will use a relationship spread showing two figures, one on the left is you and the one on the right is him. I am using this deck I made using cereal box cardboard and potatoes to print the symbols. I have been working a lot with this deck lately.

    So, You:

    Head - Knight of Swords, you are very focused on your thoughts as regards the two of you. You could find yourself daydreaming about him, wondering, trying to ponder out what is going on with him. It is a little intense at time however u like that I think. You are a great problem solver and you are wanting to help him resolve whatever he is dealing with.

    Heart - The Two of Cups - this shows your connection to him, it is pure, active and vibrant love energy with him. This is how your heart sees the relationship. So your heart is definitely all about love with him!

    Feet - the Three of Pentacles - this shows some practical step-taking you are dealing with in life and it seems to be "planning a secure structure" in some way with him. I see you really wanting to plan out (with him) the physical, practical aspects of the relationship. You could be taking some steps to prepare for something more physical with him as that evolves.

    Your hand outstretched to him - the Queen of Pentacles - well, either you are offering him some money haha, or you prepared to reach out to him materially in some way. This shows you as wanting to offer something to him related to a home/security pattern that could be good for the two of you. A new setting, a new place (together?). It shows material competence and for some reason it is important for the relationship. I am getting that you would bend over backwards for him, share whatever to help get this union where it needs to go!

    Your hand behind you - The Ace of Cups - this shows a hidden or receding energy. It sorta looks like the "beginning" of the relationship is behind you and you are really, really wanting to move matters along to that Two of Cups in your heart.

    Now, let's look at L!

    His head - the Magician! - He is "comparing realities" and this is related to his dreams of/with you I believe. He may not show it on the outside, however I see him really dreaming and thinking about various scenarios with you... this setting, this move, this decision, this physical connection... he is really pondering matters with you and he may be dealing with some fear perhaps. His head is busy though fantasizing and imagining some possibilities.

    His heart - the Five of Swords. Well, where your heart is very settled on the Two of Cups love life, he is dealing with some very unsettling (at times) energies of mental adjustments in some area. He may be changing his views on love and relationship with you, and this is taking some time for him to work through.

    His feet - the Ten of Wands - this relates to his actions and steps in his life, and this seems to show where the hold up is in the relationship. He is hesitating in some area related to his self-identity. He has an identity question about himself and this is stalling matters out. He could be changing the way he sees himself with you, and this has him stalling for time, mumbling something to you about "sweet on you" when he should be saying I LOVE YOU! ":-)

    His hand to you is the Page of Wands and this is a card of risking in the identity. So while his feet are tripping over themselves in matters of love and how he sees that working for you two, his hand is reaching out to say I am willing to risk some changes in my identity with you, this is a good indication to me that he really wants to see the relationship enter a deeper phase as his identity issues clarify.

    His hand behind him now is the Empress card, so this could either be energies leaving his life, and this is related to nurturing someone or something. Or a "hidden aspect" of him that you don't often see, and that is a very strong nurturing side to him. He could be wanting to nurture you in some way (or could be crying out for it) and yet it is hidden away for some reason?

    Now, a card that shows what is crossing the two of you and connecting your hands together:

    The Ace of Swords - seems to be a new idea or some fresh thinking about the relationship. I would be open to some alternatives with him philosophically as regards the two of you. It could be that you sorta have this "one idea" about how the relationship can progress, and he has a different idea. It would be really great for the two of you to really open up and lay it all on the table and see what fits and what needs to be discarded.

    I also drew a couple of cards to see what you would like to say to him, and what he would like to say to you.

    You want to say to him (Two of Pentacles) "let's harmonize materially in some way". There is a strong physical home security conversation you really want to have with him. The idea being like, let's move in together and stop playing around! That may not be appropriate but that's the idea. It is a card of MOVEMENT on the physical level. Saying YES to a new direction for home and a secure relationship with him.

    He wants to say to you (The Wheel of Fortune) "I would love to take a chance and do that!" seems to be his heart. His ten of wands feet are stalling this, however I believe deep down he really wants to see the tangible physical connectedness be solidified with you! You can also see how the Wheel card carries a lot of the energies that are in his head (all four suits) into an expression to you, It is like he tends to speak more from his head sometimes than his heart. You are speaking from your HAND to him, your communication to him is very action focused, his is more intellectual and "let's wait and see"... the wheel carries the sense of setting things in motion and then waiting to see what happens. So you are a SAG and saggies want to get moving! Two of Pentacles!

    Also, notice how your energies overall throughout your body are much "lighter" than his. When I count the total number of suit markings for you I come up with

    0 wands

    3 cups

    5 swords

    7 pentacles

    15 total

    He on the other hand!

    15 wands!

    4 cups

    7 swords

    7 pentacles

    33 total!

    So you can see he has a lot more "going on" with him than you right now. Especially all of those wands which are all about his inner self issues, as well as choices and actions he is considering. This guy is a handful right now I can see that! Even his communication style to you (the Wheel) shows a lot more intensity than you. You are not much words, and a lot more ACTION. He is much more talking it out or something, stalling, beating around the bush, mumbling, changing his mind, round and round we go! The Wheel!

    Does that help? I really like this spread (and the deck) it really helps to show how two people connect.... you and he will get through all of this just fine.

    Great to hear from you, hopefully my life is settling down so that I can get on here more often now. I am still not out of the woods totally... my work / career path seems to be the greatest problem area for me right now. Sigh, well like you say it always changes so that is good to know! Hopefully it changes in a good way I hope!

    Love,

    astra



  • Astra,

    Welcome back! It is so nice to see your name up here again. I can certainly understand the need for a bit of time away. You seem to love reading the cards and you certainly have a talent for it, however I know it must be time consuming. I don't know if it drains your energy or gives you energy. I think it may be different for each person. We all get our life energy in different ways.

    Your reading was interesting and insightful, as usual. I think you are dead on that he has an internal conflict about how he sees himself, his image, the person he thought he would be in relationship with, the kind of relationship he wanted and what he ultimately found with me. I know that I have been a bit of a surprise and a departure from his idea. And yet, he does seem to have a difficult time waking away. He will just have to work through that and figure out what he really wants.

    As for me, I am clear about what I want and how I feel. The idea of changing it materially is interesting. I don’t think either of us is moving toward actually living together, not yet anyway, but certainly I would like a bit more definition so that I could feel more “at home” and “settled” in this union. For the moment I am willing to give him the time and space that he needs to get his head on straight. He is definitely operating from his head and only lets his heart show here and there, when his guard is done.

    Your new deck is cool and I like the layout of the reading. It must have been fun to create your own deck. I have heard others say that they get a clearer more authentic reading from a deck they have created. One of the things I like about Tarot is the visual beauty and symmetry.

    As for your work/career path… I don’t know the particular issues but I do know that you and my son are in the same career. He works for a large company here in town that seems to be always hiring. They appear to have more work than they can handle. There may even be opportunities to work remotely. I also have a good friend who is the artistic director of a company on the east side of the lake. He was hiring quite a few people recently as well. If any of this is interesting or helpful in any way, then I can get more details to you. I got the sense that you were actually trying to change careers in which case these connections might not be very useful.

    Back to work for me now though. Thanks for the reading, it is so great to have you back. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you have been enjoying the sunshine as much as I have.

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag!

    I like giving the readings, my only issue has been as I have given readings in the past they could also touch on an emotional issue in my life that I was still dealing with, and I was still immature emotionally so it would provoke an emotional reaction in me. Very unsettling. So then I would pull away from giving readings and stay apart (hermit) while my heart continues to process and heal from that. I hope I am doing better in that area, at least I feel much more settled lately so that has been a welcome change.

    Yes, I am enjoying working with this deck, it has some unique attributes I have not found in my other decks. It is a gift from above, my guardian angel's artistry! 🙂 (She is pretty talented).

    I would very much appreciate any leads or whatever on the career thing!... I am still searching for work and my efforts so far have been fruitless. I have kept trying to create art however that has been a real struggle as well, not the easiest thing to make income at. Likewise the Tarot, I love to give readings however making any money at it is also difficult, and I often struggle with the notion of it becoming a money maker. I would like the income however it is really something I do because I love to do it... not sure if it became a "business" if that would change that in some way.

    I have all of that marketing, graphics and website background that could still be used in the right situation.

    Would you like to meet up for coffee somaetime? it would be fun to put a face with someone from this forum. I can bring my deck and we can do more readings on your situation. I know you are very busy with your work though, so whatever is convenient for you.

    Have a great week sadsag... yes the weather is fantastic! Yay, the snow is finally gone haha...

    astra



  • Just a quick intervention ..... Astra WELCOME BACK!!! You've been sadly missed off here.

    Sadsag sorry I haven't replied to your email yet but shall do my best to do so today.

    Really enjoyed the above reading and it still does seem positive for you both. 🙂

    Good luck Astra with the potential employment leads, hopefully Sadsag will have come up trumps. Oh and when you meet Sadsag give her a huge hug from me. Not met her yet but her emails always make me smile and I think if we lived nearer to each other we could become very good pals.

    I still have to do that novice reading for you Astra - I haven't forgotten. Let me know what you'd like to know.

    Take care both

    YB x



  • Hi Astra,

    It is clear that you like giving the readings. it comes through loud and clear in how you present the information, even if it is not what the listener wants to hear. I'm sure your emtional stuff does play in at times, but that would be true of anyone who reads cards or anything else. We cannot separate ourselves from the world and we all process through our own filters and experiences no matter what. Still your readings always have a ring of truth to them.

    I would be happy to pass on the job info but think we might want to do it off the forum. I am pretty sure my son and my friend would not want me posting information in such a public place. So we can switch to email or facebook. I am not sure how to make that happen without one of us posting our email address though. As for meeting up for coffee, that would be totally cool! We should definilty do it if we find ourselves on the same side of the mountains. I am heading east this weekend, with L 😉 but not as far as your city.

    You should take Yummy up on her offer for a reading. She seems very insightful to me and I know she will have something interesting to say. I have been enjoying our email conversations too. Someday perhaps we will be in the same part of the world 🙂

    Let's figure out how to connect off the forum and hopefully I can give yo some useful leads 🙂

    sadsag



  • Sadsag,

    Sounds good, and I agree any job stuff and that needs to be off line.

    You can use the 'contact' link here to reach me when that is convenient for you. A blog I started about making tarot decks by hand...

    potatotarot dot wordpress dot com

    I may be heading to Anacortes area this weekend so we may cross pass each other on the highway haha, anyway we can figure it out via email.

    blessings, astra



  • Astra,

    Waaaah.:( L is sick with the flu so we are not heading east. We might well have passed on the road. We were going to Winthrop and then Chelan. I am so bummed that we have to reschedule. that is life though. I will contact you on your other virtual home tomorrow and send you some job stuff. I Checked the company my son works for and they have quite a few jobs posted.

    TTFN

    sadsag



  • Hi Astra,

    Just thought I would pop on and see what is up with you. It looks like you have been very busy giving readings. Have you noticed how many threads have your name in them? That speaks to the quality and thoughtfulness of your readings. How are things on the job front? Better I hope. It is a tough time in the job market. My youngest son just got a job here so he is moving home. I have to go and get him this weekend and help him move. It will be nice and at the same time annoying to have him home again. We live together easily but being a typical 23 year old male he is noisy and messy! Still it will be nice to have him back i the city. It has been 5 years since he lived here and it will be good to have him close.

    All is well in my love life. No significant change in any direction which is fine. Still lots of fun though. At this point in my life that is a good thing. It is a bit weird to be heading into the summer and facing the same situation as last summer. Each of us going off in our own directions. Once again I am heading for Va while he is going on a motorcycle trip. A bit unnerving to be repeating what became the end of our relationshsip last summer, but what will be will be I guess. I am trying not to give that any energy.

    Just a couple more weeks and then I'm off work for the summer. i really should find something to do to produce some income but I am not feeling very motivated. I have my head firmly in the sand just like I do every summer 😉 Let me know if you are ever on my side of the mountains. We'll get together for coffee.

    sadsag



  • Hi there sadsag

    Nice to hear from you, yes I like the readings, although I am still learning a lot and hope the words are helping... doing some painting still, landscapes of a pond mostly for someting diffferent....

    Job front is slow, still trying to understand what in the world I was / will / am / one day supposed to do with my life...

    Okay on your youngest son moving back.. a boomerang huh? well I am sure it will be nice... family is always nice...

    "A bit unnerving to be repeating what became the end of our relationshsip last summer, but what will be will be I guess. I am trying not to give that any energy."

    Ah! A pattern! Yay that is a good sign it shows a lesson being repeated which is fun... you and him have unfinished business which makes these things come back around haha.. a motor cycle trip man that sounds like fun I wanna do that... lots of friends out there I would love to see... I used to ride some serious motorcycles in my time... including a Sears motorcycle... born to be wild haha.........

    Okay on the work for summer thing.... something can still happen there we can look at some cards if you like... I would love to take a trip back over there, I'll sure let u know when I show up there...

    On my Harley... 🙂



  • My son coming back is not unexpected. He graduated from college last summer and went to live in Portland instead of here. He has always planned to come back here though. He just wanted to try living somewhere else for a bit. He won't stay with me very long, I don't think. Once he gets his feet financially he wants to get a place with some friends. Either way is fine with me. I have the space and if he is home and I can make him do some work that requires muscle 😉

    Yes we do seem to be in a repeat pattern. I am beginning to think it is me who did not learn the lesson so here I am going through it again. He is definitely a motorcycle man. He has a Harley and a Ducati. Last summer I rode with him but not at all this year. He is very clear that he thinks of riding as just for the boys. That is fine except that the rest of the boys he rides with do not seem to feel that way. Often L will be the only one without a partner along. That frustrates me. I always know that whenever he is going out on the bike, I will not be invited. That is lots of being left behind during the warm summer months. I think that is how it has always been for him. He told me that until he took me he had never had a passenger before. Odd for a man who has been riding and racing since he was 12. I get the impression that he did not ride during his marriage. He did not have the Harley and the Ducati does not have room for a passenger. In fact the more he says the more I think he was pretty tied down in that marriage. He said the other night that he was not good at taking out time to hang with the boys during his marriage. One other time he referred to ‘living his life in a box’. He makes little comments that make me think he did not have much freedom, which sort of explains his absolute refusal to be tied down in any way now. Anyway, he will go off on several trips this summer just like last summer. I will take my own trips. We will see how it plays out.

    Every summer I say I need to work and every summer I put it off until it is too late. But the truth is that I really need to generate some income during the summer months. The cost of living is so high here that even though I actually make decent money, it is not enough here in the big city. And yet giving up my time off is so difficult! Sure of ahead and pull some cards around that topic if you want to. I have optics but none that I really like. I could go work in a hospital or rehab center but I would need some additional training for that. That means money up front to be trained for a job that I don’t really want to do. I could try to dig up some kids to see privately but that means marketing, which I hate. I could take a retail job but working for minimum wage is not worth as much as my free time. So I just go round and round and end up doing nothing… Much like you I struggle to know what exactly I am really supposed to be doing with my life. It feels pretty directionless right now. I am trying to just go with that and live in the moment but it is not really my nature.

    I better get to the work I am supposed to be doing now.

    Take care,

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag

    Okay, well I drew the Empress as regards the son situation and that sounds nice to me, I would expect that to work out while he is with you. Can he help you with some of that 'summer job' pursuit of yours? Distribute flyers maybe, I mean there are little things you can do to drum up business (post little cards in groc store bulletin boards, heck, make a big sign adv your services and plant it in your yard.

    As for your ex, hmm... so he likes to ride by himself. I drew some cards regarding him....

    Wheel of fortune, Empress, king cups, 3 cups, and queen of cups.

    I think the wheel of fortune is the Harley haha... The cups all add up to fun... The Empress energy within his heart, so that is nurturing... I think he feels nurtured with this (group) he rides with? The wheel of fortune seems he expects to find fortune on the road... surprises... the sense of expectancy, new things when he takes off... kind of an adventure I think, and he may be wanting to keep that alone so that he feels like there is freedom. You could be right, the past with him could make him feel like the walls are closing in and then its off on a trip to shake that... something he'll just have to process in his own way. That king and queen of cups does seem to represent the 'relationship' aspect of his consciousness... that whole biking with a group thing I am not too familiar with.

    As for the work, I'll draw some cards...

    I'll ask some questions like,

    1. What kind of summer work would be best?

    Four of swords, 9 wands and 9 cups.

    Hmm... 4 swords are quiet calm intellectual energies, sort of sounds like a "care" situation in some way. 9 of wands are very strong "role/identity" energy, and the 8 cups is a doorway card emotionally. So.. it seems to be saying that the "door(8c) to your work (9w) is connected with this 4 swords energy. I would suggest that you meditate on what the 4 swords means, there is a key there. It seems to be a foundation in your life, and is quiet, ordered and established thoughts. So whatever this is, you already know how to do it, and your thinking with that is solid. The other thing is to focus on what makes you happy (8c) and what you really identify with (9w). Passion is really important for you, and so you need to feel really great about whatever that is. Also, the Star you have all the resources you need to bring it to pass.

    2. How will you find this work?

    The 5 of swords (change of thoughts about something), the Lovers and Justice.

    Wow that is interesting... so here we are looking at "how" to find this work and it seems to do that you need to change your thinking in a key area (perhaps a feeling of being limited in some way, like you mentioned the marketing you don't like...) so you may need to change your thoughts in some way there....

    The Lovers means "joining forces" so this sounds like you need to partner up with someone / some group to find this work. And the Justice says "balance" so there is this joining up with someone(s) that brings a balancing energy to you and that in turn opens up some possibilities... and jobs...

    It sounds like you might have a wall you are trying to move past, the list of issues you mentioned connected to finding a summer work that leaves you going in circles... I think this "Lovers" card is important as this idea of joining yourself to something being important to find this work. Not sure exactly what that means... maybe you have a friend you would like to partner with? Do you know someone who you have worked with before and maybe you form a partnership, or they may have a key... I want to say this idea of you finding work "with" someone(s) else with whom you really connect... could be an important idea to consider. LIke... instead of how can "I" find this summer work, you are saying "how can 'we' find summer work... not sure if that sparks anything to think on.....

    Okay sadsag I hope u have a nice rest of the week and weekend! 🙂

    astra



  • Thanks for the reading about summer work. I definitely have a wall up. It has been there for years. I know most of it is just resentment that I have to work in the summer at all. That is a result of my divorce and the cutbacks that the state keeps making in terms of our salary. There are options but none of them are particularly fun and so I don’t want to do any of them. I have talked with a friend about doing some things together so we might look at that again. I have also considered doing therapy online. It seems to be the new thing and there is a company that keeps posting job ads. So that might be interesting. Or I will just put it off until next year like I do every year. Actually I was going to really do it this summer until I agreed to go back east and take care of my sister after her surgery. There have been so many delays in scheduling the surgery that it has made it difficult for me to commit to any particular job schedule for the summer.

    As far as Lee and the Harley goes, I do think it is all about freedom for him. He definitely feels nurtured by these guys. They were there for him during the rough part of his divorce and he is very attached to them. He has known a couple of them since high school and I think he regrets that he let the relationships suffer a bit during his marriage. He is bound and determined not to let that happen again. That is fine, but I am not asking him to do that, just to include me once in a while. Like I said, we will see how it plays out. I am getting pretty fed up with it so I think it is time for us to talk about it.

    In the meantime I am off to Portland to move my son home. I have no doubt s about us living together again. We get along fine. It will be nice to have him home for however long he stays.

    Hope you have a good weekend. I think you will have way more sun than we are going to have. Enjoy it!

    sadsag



  • Hey Astra!

    How are you? I have been so busy lately I have not spent much time on the computer other than for work. But I have missed our chats. Looks like you are busy as ever doing readings. I have just been busy with life. I hope you had a good summer. I did. We have had such great weather here for the past couple of months. Of course most of it did not come until it was time to go back to work but still I am so happy to have the sunshine. I am back at work, of course, and well into the routine.

    I just thought I should pop on and tell you that L finally, finally, after 19 months told me he loves me. I don’t know where we go from here but at least he had finally admitted to that feeling. Of course you told me it was there all along but there were times when I had serious doubts about that. This time last year I expected never to see him again. Even all the way through spring he was still keeping me at arm’s length, at least emotionally. We had a good summer though and then he was gone for 5 weeks. This time I do think that absence made the heart grow fonder. So that is the latest. I hope all is well with you. Would love to hear how it is going. You can email me off board if you want.

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag,

    well that is great news about 'L' yippie I always like to hear good news once in a while.

    My summer was nice, did a lot of painting. and readings I guess. Still searching out my path, career wise I am at a point where I am ready to just go back to advertising or something, ugh the doors are not opening for me in art/tarot for income no matter how hard I try it seems. I have a se x ual harassment charge against me though and didn't bother to fight it for reasons I won't go into, so I have that to contend with. Yippie life is good!

    Oh well I will keep doing whatever to stay busy...

    Glad to hear you are happy and doing well, and I wish you ever greater success in love and work.

    astra



  • Hi Astra,

    Well I knew I spoke too soon Murphy is never ever kind to me. so remember, one short month ago L told me he loves me. He still does but he has ended our relationship again. He still feels like he cannot take the next step to be more in and more committed. Says he is wasting my time. says I'm great, one of the best people he knows blah blah balh, but not enough in love to keep going forward. Sooo I am sad of course but I can't say that I am terribly surprised. He has been pulling back lately. Just like last time he was slow getting started, then turned up the heat and things were going really well and then he turns and runs. sounds like fear to me but what I think does not matter.

    So maybe a quick reading to tell me where we/I go next. I don’t really think I will hear much from him and I don’t know if I will respond if I do. I know he is feeling really bad and wants my forgiveness but I don’t feel the need to help him out there, at the moment. I certainly knew this was a possibility when I agreed to start seeing him again. Anyway, I don’t have any specific questions. Maybe pull a few cards around both of us and then see if you can tell where I am headed.

    How are you? I see you are still on here quite a bit, still helping everyone feel better about life. I too wish you could actually find a way to make a living that way since it does seem to be your life work.

    Thanks Astra,

    Love and light Sadsag



  • Hi sadsag

    Okay on your situation. I took a look using a celtic cross.

    Situation - 8 of Cups. Rather emotional situation, very expansive energy the 8. Can go either way happy or sad depending on the other cards.

    Crossing - 7 of Swords. This is always a tricky card in this case it seems to be a kind of "where now, what now, path now, what is happening now?" kind of energy, With that 8 cups under it I think that is intensifying that sense of questions and unsettled feelings. So that is the situation which is not surprising given what you are telling me.

    Higher hope for you - Page of Swords. This is communication and taking a risk, a step to sharing, dialogue, talk it out, this shows your heart would really like to keep lines of communication open with him.

    Foundation - Empress. This is nurturing energy, very feminine, mothering, caring, embracing, warm, kind, and loving. This is the background and characterizes the relationship. I have the sense that this has a lot to do with you, in the relationship. You may have been doing more of the nurturing and sort of trying to "love" this relationship into health. I think this is coming from you toward him a lot. From what you have told me over time I have the sense that you are the more stable, consistent one in the relationship (empress) and he is the more the loose cannon at times.

    Recent past - 8 of cups. Seems to be a strong physical, work related energy you passed through with him. I think there is something going on physically with you two that is causing some tension or something, this 8 is very much trying to move to the 9 and fulfill. So to end at an 8 is like building to a peak and then walking away. The focus here is physical with you two. There is a physical issue trying to be addressed.

    Near future - 3 of Pentacles - again this is physical, growth, development on the physical level. So this does seem to show a continuation of the same energy. 3s are very much like 8's growing and trying to intensify. So this seems to say that whatever you came out of with him, continues on into the near term.

    Your feelings about this situation - 10 of swords - no surprise here, your mind is working hard to understand, wrap your head around it. You are reflecting a lot on your life with him and trying to put the pieces together. This is tricky ground as you can wear yourself out trying to grasp the nature of the relationship and why this pattern continues.

    Environmental factors. - Chariot. So this is rapid change, could be picking up in the "move" away, saying its over, ended or whatever. WOah! The chariot takes off with him! Oh no, not again! (then the 10 of swords, why is this happening, where are we now headed, what is the future? That is a lot of swords concerns).

    Hopes and fears - Lovers. Self explanatory.

    Outcome = 6 of Cups. Wow this is a bright card though! So according to this you two will patch it back up and get back on track.

    I wouldn't be concerned. I think its a temporary pause in the relationship. What's his sign again? He could be letting off steam. Maybe that 8/3 pentacles in the past/future has to do with some stress that is work or financial related, and he is frustrated... then dumps it on you. He could be feeling frustrated with his life right now, and is needing time to sort out things.

    The last two cards are very very positive sadsag. I would stay optimistic, keep nice wishes, dreams, desires, prayers, imagination, plans, hopes, and expectations strong about the two of you. These things happen to the best of relationships. A time out maybe. I think the Universe does these things to us to place us in our own corners for a while so that we can re-center and become more grounded. Probably has a lot to do with maturation emotionally. That is what I think happens to all of us. We are guided into situations that are not going to be pleasant and then the path is, learning to keep smiling regardless and keep the faith. Ugh, it is not fun however that seems to be part of the drill. It must be for our own good. Good relationships have to have solid, mature emotional foundations or they will not work out. So this could be happening for the good of the relationship. I would look at it as some growth happening for both of you.

    I'll bet once he gets through this phase you will reconnect and it will be even better.

    Not a lot of wands, so this is not path related. Mostly pentacles and cups, so the focus is on emotional and physical life, establishing boundaries, guidelines for your physical and emotional connection with him.

    5 wands total says some uncertainty as your path is adjusted right now.

    19 cups total = 1+9 = 10 = 1 cup so there is a hidden love trying to start up between you and him.

    17 swords total = 1+7=8 swords so that shows a lot of thinking going on and could be a problem if not relaxed with other activities. So a good time to involve your self with some other fun projects to help take your mind off him and this present situation I think it will clear up on its on, no problem! A good time to read that novel you have been wanting to read, take a walk by that lake you love, sing, climb mountains...

    20 pentacles total = 2+0=2 pentacles so there is a move or physical movement indicated. So keep moving physically for you would be good, walks, that sort of thing.

    Super secret angel code number for you right now (and good for $1 off your next Coffee at Starbucks just tell em I sent u haha)

    is

    5182

    Numbers have magic properties to help us, change things, miracles, who knows... I like to believe that.

    My general sense is that this is normal and you two will be talking again soon and getting back together, your guy is working through some fears, anxieties and you could be sort of a target to release some pent up energy.

    Do you and him have shared physical things you like to do together? Ride motorcycles? Hiking? Horses? You are Sag so u may like horses. I think there is something important here with that 8/3 pents showing up. Or maybe its a shared work, career, some endeavor for the two of you. Something here to consider. There is a physical issue here to be sorted out.

    Hope that helps. Blessings to you sadsag!

    astra



  • When you are apart like this is also a great opportunity to STAY CONNECTED with him spiritually, imagine he is still around in a way. Like even though he is physically away you still can sense him, love him. That is important in relationships. That helps build trust that the Universe has a wonderful plan for you and him.



  • Thanks Astra,

    I knew you would have something positive to say. I think your reading is pretty accurate. I am not sure what the physical part refers to. He was sick for a while but he is past that. Otherwise the physical side of our relationship has been fine. Unless you are referring to the knots he has apparently had in his stomach for the last couple of weeks as he tried to figure out what he was going to do. I can’t really think of any shared physical thing. He rides his motorcycle but he does not often involve me. Now and then but he prefers to leave me out of that (which has always irritated me!). There is no one particular activity that we made a habit of doing together, that I can think of anyway.

    There is definitely fear involved for him. The pattern was the same as last time. He starts off slow, then warms up and gets close, starts to open up and then bolts. He loves me, of that I am certain, but it is not enough for him to overcome whatever is there holding him back. I am definitely the more stable person, at least emotionally and he would tell you the same thing. He is a mess, I think. The wisest course for me would be to run as fast as I can.

    He is an Aquarius, born January 27, 1962 at 6pm in San Francisco. We should be and in fact are, quite compatible. That does not seem to be the issue. The issue seems to be the voice in his head that tells him this is not right. If he would only listen to his heart instead of his head, but he won’t. He is waaay to into his head where relationships don’t hurt as much.

    I will try to stay optimistic, try to have faith and release him with love. I really do not think I will hear from him agar though. Thanks for the great (as usual) reading. I am heading off to Starbucks now to get $1 off of my coffee 😉

    Sadsag