Am i getting used by a Cancer Man?!?



  • Im a capricorn and pretty true to the description. (1/1/88) . I recently (2 months) at a christmas get together with friends ran into an old friend from jr high. Its been a little over 10 years since we've seen each other. After leaving that night , being as guarded as i am.. we did not exchange info. Instead. he sought be out on FB the next few days and suggested we construct a hangout that night with our old friends and himself. As it being the holidays, it fell through. We kept in touch, exchanged phone numbers and when my Birthday rolled around i thought to extend the invite, he insisted on me and my friends joining a party he was attending. After our discussion hen explained he was moving closer to where i lived ( a matter of blocks) and asked for me to assist in apartment hunting with him the next day. Instead it turned into lunch. our chemistry is nice and refreshing. We seem drawn to each-other. Since then and new years... we text and talk alot. the pattern seems to not exceed 4 days without communication. Slow and steady. We have discussed relationship views and interest and he explains that he has been screwed over and hurt badly. Women cheating on him with his friends. He believes in taking things slowly, doing it right. Not involving sex and being friends before anything. I love what i hear. I am in the very same boat as him, and appreciate his maturity. He will invite me to hang out with him and take me on his life errands. in some instances make complete turns and he ends up suggesting sushi dinner, ice skating, and a movie later @ home. No moves are ever made, dating behavior. he calls and texts me with his stresses of life and i give advice accordingly. when things go well, he instantly seeks me out to tell me 🙂 Lately we have been moving him into his new appartment. cleaning and packing his old, unpacking and cleaning his new. The whole 9 yards, just him and i. He cooks dinner for me and buys me lunches In between moving trips, he suggested we go pick up his puppy from his sisters and i meet his niece. We ended up having dinner, and sitting around with his family. I later stayed @ his appartment where we did nothing. He keeps making statements about how he treats me like im his girlfriend and laughs. I respond with how i dont mind and smiles... waiting for him to make his move @ breakfast the next day, he explained he had a urgent 3 day trip to go on monday, Hes in the army and has drill this upcoming weekend and since his puppy loves me, and i take care well he asked id if be willing to help out. He proceeded to ask me as well if i would take him and pick him up from the airport, he would give me his nice car to drive and a key to get in and out of his place. Worried of being used, i agreed nervously. He still hasn't even kissed me. Yesterday we finsished cleaning the old appartment and hung out for the day. he asked when i was leaving him to workout and was taking him dog what everyone says about him and i, "what do our friends say about us, i bet everyone thinks we are together. what do they say when you told them you stayed @ my house" i responded thrown off, they tell me how much they really like you and i tell em, i do too. After retuning his dog later that night, he cooked me dinner. he had to wake up early to leave for drill so i he gave me the house key and i left. I couldn't sleep so i texted him clarifying my real response. I assured him, i am very intrigued, i am actually very interested, but more then anything, i wanna learn who he is since we left off 10 years ago. I have no response yet, and thats okay. it was more of a statement anyway. MY FEAR is that this cancer male is using me up. that i am that "friend " that will do whatever he asks. I think its clear that i like him, why else would i be doing all of this... We joke about how im girlfriend tending while he's gone and every time i have a little worry that he's playing me.. using me. its been two months and i haven't even gotten a kiss. Is this normal for a cancer?



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  • TrueCappy,

    I don't get the feeling that he is using you. He gives back to you by buying you dinner's and lunch etc, spending time with you. I am not psychic in any way. Why not enjoy it for what it is-a good friendship? I think we as woman complicate things sometimes because we are hoping for more. If it is meant to be, it will happen. In the meantime, it sounds like you have a great time with him so enjoy yourself.

    Luvslife



  • Luvslife,

    Thanks for your insight. I know im probably being a woman overthinker. I, just like him have been burned before. Not in just relationships, but friendships as well. I know sometimes i become resentful because i tend to Give, Give, Give and if its not reciprocated or im confused as to how they do, i feel as if im being used. He descibes himself as emotional. It seems as if he has a good heart that has been mistreated and is pretty tender so i am happy to help- like instinct, ...since i like him, i take care of him; much like i do in my relationships.. for now, im opening nervously, but Im guarded. I appreciate your advice more then you know. Thanks so much!