Feeling so down



  • i have been seeing a married man for 2 years he took a week off to spend with his wife and kids was just with him last weekend and she threw him out of the house when he came home in the morning. this has happened several times she always takes him back and he goes back. says hes saving to get a aptartment but isnt putting much effort in it. have no friends or family to talk to really feel so alone i know i need to stay away from him but cannot find the strenth cant focus or keep busy with anything.... please help so all alone



  • I am sorry to hear about your trouble. It sounds like he wants to stay with his wife and kids. I think you could find someone emotionally available. But I think you can find peace even if you are alone. What can you do for yourself to improve your life? You could take a course in something you are interested in and have been for a while.



  • Sleepy 123... I am so sorry that you're hurting so much, but I think you know the answer. I know how much you are hurting and how much you want this relationship to work out, but it's not going to. I was involved with a married man, too, and some of it was the happiest and most loving time I've ever spent and some of it was the hardest and it hurt terribly. He even left his wife for a quite a while, but he left her for another woman... not me. They've since reconciled and he moved back home and it was mainly because of their son and financial reasons. He and I are still involved to a point, but we've basically become really good friends, which is kind of strange, but it's a good outcome. He actually gives me advice on guys that I'm dating or interested in. I still love him, but know that I'm not in love with him anymore and I'm concentrating on finding a healthier, more permanent relationship. I know it's hard to be alone, but try and concentrate on the good stuff in your life and your friends and/or family and when you're ready, work on finding a healthier relationship. You deserve better!!



  • thanks butterfly123 it helps to here stories about other women that have been with a married man i really dont have anyone that has gone through this before so the internet really helps



  • Hi, I haven't been involved in a relationship like this. I would avoid it like the plague. I'm not saying this to judge you. I'm saying this because I view it as a catastrophe waiting to happen. In your case, did he initiate contact or were you all mutual friends. I think where the signals get crossed is the married person would like to appear to be a certain way (single) when, in fact, they are not. Reality sets in and it's not an easy thing for anyone to deal with. Would rather not deal w/the reality of the situation--just brush it aside. I believe that you can be in a terrible marriage where there are drugs, infidelity, cheating etc. It takes a great deal of work to revive it. I think in this situation it's better to end a marriage. I guess what you have to look at is what is going on in his marriage. Is he trying to make it better. Just try to analyze and be objective about it. Then look at yourself 3 years from now. Then start making a decision on what is best for you. I would get out.


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