I need insight too ..regarding my Cancerian i left him high and dry..
Me and him CM together for 6.5yrs ..
Initially we were quite loving and almost honeymoon phase for years..
we were exchanging texts and keep our communicating alive all the time.
But recently ,, i have changed which he mentioned to me and keep on alerting the red flag but i constanly ignore. I simply went missing which he'd descirbed. I don't text him as much before..
i keep the conversation short and sometimes i replied on after couple of hrs later or sometimes i would replied him aweek later.
That make him rather infuriating so he decided to let go of me but part of him wanted me very much only waiting for my moves and my initiative..
Now thing gone haywired ..the damaged is done ...he slept with another woman and literally date another woman due to his insecurity i given him.. which left him high and dry.
Well atm when i saw him with another woman .. i my heart sank .. i can't show my emotion what i feel is numbness ..i lost all my senses as a virgo myself .. i have to keep my pride and i cannot show my vulnerable side and infront of that woman he broke wif me.. I was calm but inside me i was fallen apart , i am now a living dead for what i know he has betrayed me..
After the desvasated moment the next day , ..we meet and have a chat ..
He: I tot you don't want me
Me: I never say so.
He: You always brought up the break up issue for hundred of times..
Me: becos you always busy and give me that insecurity.
He: You are the one been busy and not available all the times and how to prove your love ?
Me: You should know i don't sure affection and hw you expected me to say "I love you all the time."
He: I feel like dating a living dead .. at least the woman making me happy and our conversation always so pleasant and she show me affections which i feel love..
Me: So actually what you wan now .. you wan to break off right ?
He: I tot i told you I am busy.. i tried not to contact you and keep myself busy to control myself.
Me: So why you give me mixed signal ? when i don't respond you in the text and you text and complain that i do want you and begin mia all the time ?
He: I .......
Me: ok i give you clue if i mia ..not responding that is meant i already not longer in the relationship and i have let go.. but deep beneath me i still love you .. my door is still open for you.
He: sullen .. sad ..
Me: ok so what you actually wan now ?
He: I treated woman only my gf .. when you are busy i will look for her ..
Me: i was thinking my goodness sake how can this could possibly happened to me like in the drama.
so you no longer love me then are you prefer her than me ?
He: i want both of you .
Me: well infact i 'd changed i cant win you back like before .. i am no longer the past .. i lost my all emotions and i can't feel any anger in me when i saw you and her embracing together thus i could face you now becos i can't feel any pain.
Deep down i still love him in the beneath of my coldness there is passion inside me that i wouldn;t express much.. That is complication and mixed feeling syndromes in a virgo..
Now i am broken ,, i can sense that he till loves me cos we got intimate session together ..
but deep down i feel betrayed and in my brain keep obstructing me to cont'd the fail relationship becos that the fact which i cannot forgive.. so i just broken off with him but i let him know i do love him deeply and i did express what i want to say .. all the sweetness stuffs that he longing to listen ..
we keep smsing each other thru out the day after i intiated break off .. i didn't bear to ignore him cos he will be devastated..
Now what should i do ? Should i just total ignore him or keep on conversation as friend or should i win him back ?
Please give insight ..
Well you had a choice between your partner and your pride, and you wrongly chose your pride. You were the one who did the first betraying because you would not be open to him. Unless you can be more loving and honest with your partner, you will lose him forever. And never have another partner who loves you. you have to take a risk exposing yourself to someone with all your strengths and weaknesses if you want to be close to anyone. You need to do a lot of work on yourself to deal with the issues that keep you from opening up and trusting someone else.
Captian, I am deeply appreciate of your insight for my unsettlle problemtic nutty issue..
now my cancer man left that woman becos i could sense that he did not wan to lose me.
Now is my side whether i should let him back .. cos he is now asking to come back. but i put a hold to evaluate on the hurts i got from him and i need to recuperate to readjust myself. Right now i have improvement in expressing my love to him freely and no longer constraining before i used to think this he is always there for me thus i became somewhat aloof .. i think.
Yes i need to open out and speak.
i meant open up...
He only hurt you after you hurt him. Cancers feel things very deeply and he must have been very upset that you would not be open to him. You both need to forgive each other.
your insight is so accurate ..
he has been emphasize that " I am what you made."
Now he is waiting to see how long the passionate side of me would last.
Frankly speaking i do have self doubt on myself too.
I often could see issue of others and I simply cannot see mine.
That is i urgently seeking for help and always thank to you captain for your advises..
You have trouble expressing your feelings and emotions, but in this area your friend is an expert and can help you very much. But you have to trust him enough to open yourself to him. He can help you with your feelings but only if you start the process. This man will only butt his head against your 'walls' for so long before he goes to find someone who is more approachable and emotionally open to him. If you have actually decided you want him in your life and want him to get closer to you, you have to give him a 'show of faith' of being honest about your feelings.
Thank you again, captain ..
Now i 'd my knot was begin untied and i am able to express myself fully and have a good
talk with him and he is back into my life .. without any skeptical that he might cheat cos he mentioned that he cheated is for the sake to spite me to get me back to him.
His venus is in cancer.
If a man's Venus is in Cancer, he may prefer women who come across as sweet, soft, and warm. He is not as inclined to go for women who are model-thin, tomboy-ish, or for the high-profile career type. He often is attracted to more traditionally feminine looks, simply dressed (not gaudy or flashy). Understated but feminine summer dresses, accentuated breasts (natural, not "enhanced"), an aura of innocence or neediness, and the promise of devotedness are usually turn-ons for him. Venus in Cancer men often go out of their way to avoid feeling rejected, and this is mirrored in their attraction to women who are not too aggressive, loud, or overly confident.
**** = breasts, which I don't believe is a dirty word.
victimofcancerian last edited by
venus in cancer...ouch! I know how it feels to be like that, believe you me, he won't be over you so quickly...even though my sun sign in gemini...i find it extremely difficult to move on from someone, and usually prefer for the person to do the breakup (even though i wouldn't accept it, still). appeal to him emotionally, show that you're here to stay, give him time to earn back his trust, take care of him and give attention in small, but consistent doses and plenty of love...he may appear as slightly resentful, even doubtful at first, but the walls need to be melted (and they take a long while for them to melt in the long run)...extremely loyal and faithful, in the sense that even if I do sleep with someone else, I'll still be thinking of my partner, once someone is in my heart, they are there forever, it is difficult to detach and i just cannot simply move on easily. oh, and we sulk and withdraw from people and wallow in self pity...
i hate break ups.
Thank you Captain for your inputs again
voc.. thank you for telling me your inner feeling..
yeah venus in cancer totally hate the word break up and i so often his tears roll when i tell him this all the time thus he got so mad and find another one inorder to get my attention to him.
For what i know cancer in venus like to restort in painful way like silently retreat or finding another partner/s to crave for attention.
THey are like buliding wall and sometimes really hard nut to crack.