Cancer Woman and Gemini Man I NEED HELP!!!!!!
I NEED HELP!!!
I met this Gemini male a few weeks ago and everything was going great. On our first date he asked me how many kids I want and talked about when we live together. That was a little freaky but I thought it was endearing. He even told me how much he liked me. We haven't had ****, yet. I want to preface that.
Here's where the situation gets a little out of the ordinary: I went to his apartment a couple weeks ago and we were making out. He picked me up to kiss me and I hit my head incredibly hard on the ceiling. Needless to say I have a concussion. He was really apologetic and I told him to stop apologizing because it was an accident. So I start having post concussion symptoms (i.e. fainting, seizures) while I'm at work and I need someone to give me a ride to the hospital. I called him because he is the only person I know who doesn't work full time. That was Wednesday Feb. 22. The doc told me I needed someone to stay with me the next 48 hours so I don't die. He said he couldn't do it and I didn't pressure him since we are just starting out. I didn't hear from him until Saturday 25th. He invited me to come to this bar he always goes to EVERY Saturday night. He told me the reason he was avoiding me was because he was embarrassed and felt guilty and he didn't know what to say. He introduced me to his friends and they knew about my concussion so he told his friends about me. He also told me he called his dad and told him. I feel like you don't talk about someone you just meet to your friends and family unless you actually like them.
He walked me to my car and said he wanted to slow things down and that he wasn't sure if he wanted to date me. He also said that when he gets distant, he's distant with everyone in his life. He assured me he's not going anywhere and then showered me with compliments. Fair enough. We will take it slow. Monday morning at work on the 27th, I fainted again and called him to pick me up. Again, for the same reasons. He was walking into work and I told him I would take a cab to the ER. When I got home from the ER i texted him to tell him I was home and I was going to bed then asked if he would call me the next day. I didn't hear from him. I sent him a text on Thursday (i went back to the ER) just to tell him I was there and I would like for him to come by that night or at least call and check on me. I didn't get a response. Friday night, the 2nd, I sent him a text asking what he was doing and got nothing. Unfortunately, Saturday night a friend of mine came in town and she wanted to go to the bar that he is going to be at. She didn't know he would be there and she's my guest so I did what she wanted. He didn't say a word to me.
His friends came by to say hello to me but not him. He knew i was there and i was giving him his space but after what's happened, i think he could have at least said hello. One of his friends even gave me a hug goodbye as they were leaving. He stood idly by and laughed while shaking his head with his head down. I called him this morning and got no answer so i left a message. All i said was I don't know what happened because we were having fun and I would like to talk to you, hope to hear from you.
Can someone please tell me what went wrong here?? I'm sure he viewed my phone calls for help as being needy but I don't think that I'm out of line for asking for a text to ask "How are you?"
Sorry but the pattern of behaviour is quite clear here. Whenever you need this guy to be around, he won't be. He came on too strong in the beginning to try and sweep you off your feet and into bed, and you were 'saved' by getting concussion. He tends to be all eager at first, then quickly loses interest. This will only end in heartbreak for you so get out now! This one is a heart-breaker.
Morning LC, sorry to hear of your health problems - hope it all sorts itself out. Must have been one hell of a bump
Kind of similar scenario with my Gem man. We met about 6 weeks ago and during that time I have been admitted into hospital twice. Nothing serious but he'd text me maximum 4 times a day whilst in there. No phone calls, no queries as to why I was admitted, doesn't ask which hospital I'm in and doesn't even offer to visit me. Just texts giving me big hugs and kisses. When one is in hospital it's natural to feel down and no matter how independent you are, it's a boost to have someone you care about reciprocate those feelings.
Last Thursday night was the second time for my admittance and when I returned home Friday he text asking how I was and I informed I'd been in hospital again. Got a text back saying that was not good news, big hugs and kisses. I responded saying thanks but would prefer them in reality. It's now Tuesday and I've heard nothing from him. I will NOT contact him. He did this before leaving 3 or 4 days in between contact and that time I deleted him off my mobile and all text messages he'd sent me - guess my way of cleansing him out of my system and severing any way to contact him in case I had a 'weak' moment. When he did initiate contact via text obviously I didn't know who it was and replied asking that q. His response was a bit upset that I'd deleted him so I phoned him and explained that I thought he'd gone AWOL for good and no point in keeping is details. He then said he wanted me to push things from my end as it made him feel good. Yeah great but I need that reassurance too and I'm not the pushy or clingy type. If someone wishes to be free then so be it. In fact since that night he'd been texting me every single day and now suddenly it's stopped. Can't be doing with this messing around. You either want someone or you don't.
Quite sad as this guy had ticked all my boxes and no one else has done that before. Feel pretty much done with him now and need to move on.
I'm not too sure whether these guys just need constant attention and need to be pursued.
I totally agree with you that he should be asking how you are and not ignoring the fact of your health irrespective whether he caused the condition or not. It's very hurtful when you're ill and it's greeted with flippant gestures. I so want to tell my Gem, 'how dare you not even call me while I was in hospital, were you NOT worried at all?' Makes you feel kinda rubbish.
Perhaps he is feeling guilty and finding it hard to deal with but he certainly shouldn't ignore you.
I hope you hear from him soon.
Keep us posted and take care
@TheCaptain His behavior is erratic I agree but isn't that a typical Gemini? If he wanted to get in bed then he could have. We've seen each other in the buff but never went all the way. In fact, I was feeling really in the mood an sent him a sexy text to get him in the mood. He never said anything. Then the next time I saw him he was like "I want to slow things down and lets get to know each other with our clothes on first." Now, I get this behavior. He went from sweetheart to cold in a matter if days. I just don't get it. I've deleted him from my phone. Hypothetically, what if I do hear from him when his twin takes over? How do I play it? Indifferent and vague? I am actually not being clingy here in my opinion.
@LB Thank you for the well wishes. I'm good now. I'm sorry that you are also struggling to understand your Gem man. I will keep you updated but I expect I won't be hearing from him. It sucks, too...I love that bar!
Glad to hear you're on the mend LC. I was so into this guy, I would have given him my all and that's not like me. Perhaps it was too soon to feel so good but I'm a person who knows what she wants and does what she can to grab it although within reason. I'd never throw myself at a guy and give him all the space he needs just like you are doing. If only they weren't such cowards and just say whatever it is that needs to be said instead of going into hiding. To me that takes a real man. I say whatever is necessary to people because it's more hurtful to string them along. I like to be direct, makes me feel I'm maintaining my integrity.
I'd advise you now to leave him be. You've left a voicemail on his phone which DOES warrant a response from him and if he doesn't react then you know he's messing around and is completely selfish because he's just thinking of himself. You've done all you can do with regard to reaching out and offering the olive branch so the ball is in his court now.
You deserve someone better and one that's willing to be there for you just like I know I do.
Stay strong and please feel free to vent out any frustration to me. I'll keep you posted on my guy as I feel I haven't yet heard the last from him........
crazycap- I am not in it for the long haul. I haven't even known him a month. I liked hanging out with him and having fun. I don't know why he is doing these things. He's acting like the girl in this "relationship."
Any news LC? I've decided to plummet my Gem man straight into Room 101
HE isn't acting like a girl ,he is acting like a selfish person. Run from this man.
No news. Haven't heard from him, YB.
Sweetgem- unfortunately I got sent home from work today for fainting. My supervisor called people in my phone including this guy...needless to say he didn't answer. I'm so livid!!! I'm glad spring break is next week and I'm going to LA. He is a jerk!!
Oh LC yes he is a jerk!! How bloody ignorant and selfish. Apart from the anger it's very hurtful too. How dare he?? That's terrible you had a fainting spell. Hope you're feeling a little better now. Have a brill time in LA, sounds as though the break will do you good.
Make sure you look after yourself and keep popping in to let us know how you are.
Stay safe LC
Please do take care of yourself!
I went to the mall today to get a cute outfit for LA. For Christmas, my dad gave me a gift card to Macy's. Just so happens that the Gem works in Macy's at the same mall selling sunglasses. I looked through the dresses and there was nothing! So I opted for sexy shoes. Where are the shoes located? Right next to the Sunglass Hut where he works! At first I was nervous and couldn't even look over there. Then I fell in love with these shoes and could only think about them. I bought them and walked to the exit passing directly in front of the Hut. I wasn't even paying attention because I was too obsessed with my shoes! I don't even know if he was working today but if he was I hope he saw the smile on my face from ear to ear that says "I don't need you."
It's amazing what a new pair of shoes does to your mood!!!
Here's the shoes I tried to attach earlier.
You'd forget about your worries, too!
Hi LC, they're fab!! Bet you look real s e x y in them. Serves him right as to what he's lost. Go girl go and keep on smiling He's the loser and who wants a loser? Hope you're feeling OK health wise
Health wise I am good. I found out some disheartening news tonight. I work in an elementary school with special needs kids. One of my kids found my twitter account do I gave her my personal email. I figured it would be better to talk to her through my email than social networking. She told me that the work I've missed due to my head injury has made my supervisor mad. She knows this because my supervisor talked to her about it. I'm a little peeved at the fact that my supervisor is talking about the job I'm doing to a12 year old but also I am flattered. If she needs me at work that badly then I know I'm doing a good job
Yb I would love to chat with you more. Are you in England?
My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi LC, I used to live in UK but now live in Dubai
My email is email@example.com
I shall add you to my msn
Have invited you LC. Look forward to chatting more
Well everyone, he talked to me!!!
I sent him a text that was going to be my final attempt to talk to him. He has been ignoring me for a week and a half. I told him: "I realize this thing started out with too much pressure. I just want to have fun, too. I would like to be your friend and see what happens if you will let me. You told me you weren't going anywhere. I'm out of town right now but I hope when I get back you will at least be speaking to me."
I did not expect to get a response but sure enough he said "Sounds good. How are you feeling?"
It's better now that he knows i don't expect to dive right in to a relationship. It's good he responded right?
Now how do I play this? Cool? Indifferent? What?