Cancer Woman and Gemini Man I NEED HELP!!!!!!
i say just take it easy and really try to be fun...do you want me to be blunt and talk about the cancer-gemini dynamic? (but i might be hurtful...especially to a cancerian person, but it stems from my personal experience and might give you some insight - of course no two situations are essentially the same, so there's nothing personal)...
I already know the cancer-gemini thing is an awful setup. You can say what you want, I will listen. However, I'm only sensitive about certain subjects. I know who I am and I'm not really that easily hurt.
Well i didn't mean to be patronizing. I just know that my approach might be too blunt and hurtful, so just wanted to give a 'warning' so to speak, but i think my experience on these dynamics could be helpful...
I think your guy panicked at first and felt that there was a huge step too soon that required a lot of emotional investment. The same happened to me and it really needs time that is all. it is not a matter of the other person, but a matter of being sure. I've found that geminis take longer to commit and fall than say Sagittarius or Cancer - and yes we can commit! lol
I think he reappeared again after the intimidation and shock wore off and if you want to keep the guy (and if you really want him - evaluate before diving in...) just really be fun, light and not heavy or too emotional at first. I feel that Cancerians live in their heads sometimes and place these grand expectations and want the other person to commit and give so much (usually when they are not as invested - it stems from their fear) and that can be really heavy at first. It'll happen naturally. they're also critical, and that is a turn off- a gemini's natural inclination is to please others, especially people they like or love...it puts pressure when we feel we dont live to the others expectations.
i've found that although we might not seem to be the most balanced of people, we like balanced people, or people who can combine contradictions at once - which cancerians are good at. for example, to be sweet, but not smothering, caring but not fretting, light and fun but not too detached, logical and practical but not too cold...that balance is hard to find and we really appreciate it. i think both signs are rather moody and that's the main challenge.
i hope it all works out! we're a very fun bunch, and yes, i admit a handful sometimes! figure out his birth chart, i've found that helps a big deal...a gemini with a lot of water or earth influence varies greatly from the more hardcore geminis (with air and fire signs)...
Thanks, I appreciate that and I didn't mean to come off as defensive. Nothing you said sounded harsh so don't worry about my feelings.
Like I said, there hasn't been any sort of relationship between us. I got back from my trip and tried to make plans to meet up with him. One time he told me he couldn't because it would be cheating. I told him if the reason he's been so distant is because he's got another gal, it's no big deal. I just want to be friends, get to know eachother on that level. He said, "No, it's not that I just started dating anyone. I've just been only spending time with my friends." I still don't understand his logic of "cheating" but I don't have the time to decipher it or worry about it. I swear, sometimes I think he says things to mess with me. That could just be my typical cancerian ways over thinking the situation.
Anyway, I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks and he's made no attempt to contact me. Clearly he's going through something but I don't know him well enough to offer my shoulder.
For what it's worth, I feel for you. While not the same as your story, I went through a whirlwind with someone who then just dumped me. I don't know that it is necessarily a sign thing. I have to agree with Captain, though, that when things do go too fast too soon, almost ALL men will in fact panic. The ones who don't are men who are desperate to be in relationships, then it becomes stifling to us (and ultimately, they don't like us for who we are, they just like us because we stick around).
As for your situation, I feel for you, but no matter how great the guy (my two cents) if you are having to be the one contacting him, you already are giving him the ability to think you are "always available". I'm not saying mind games, but if he wants to be with you (friends or otherwise) then let him come to you.
Women like us who aren't necessarily looking for a relationship get misunderstood. Most think we aren't telling the truth when we say that. But, men can tell when we "like them" and when we do offer up too much, that reinforces it. I know that with my male friends (or female for that matter) it's a give and take...So, I hope you get the result you want, but...do what's right for you but my two cents would be friends or otherwise, respect is respect, and if he hasn't contacted you in two weeks, and does come back...I personally would be aloof and say "I've been busy and maybe we can get together". That will send a clear message that he can't just waltz back and you'll just pick up where you left off.
I meant to add in my earlier comment "He's going through something and I don't know him well enough to offer my shoulder...nor do I want to."
You're right, You have to give respect to get it. He hasn't given me ANY respect so he doesn't deserve mine. That's the way I've seen it for 2 weeks. I really am busy and don't have time for his nonsense. I am now pounding the pavement looking for a job because of him.
Everyone starts off with "He's embarrassed." Honestly, I don't give a s**t if he is. He should be. I went to him as an adult and he is responding to me like a child. That's what a get for giving a younger man a chance, I guess, haha.
Hmmm, yes, the 'cheating' part is weird. perhaps he meant he didn't want to lead you on?
If somebody wants you, they WILL contact you and approach you. they will find a way to get to you, especially when you did not do anything wrong and were not at fault, so there is no reason for you to get entangled in guilt (I am not saying that you are, but I am just saying, in case you face the insidious 'what-if's' then you know how to silence him).
i dont know if you read or watched 'he;s just not that into you' but i really think their insights are true!
A guy that gives you an effing concussion and then abandons you with remaining medical issues and symptoms and then bails is a total assshole. It's no different if he'd slammed you with his own fist and then said, "sorry." His claimed embarassment is a guise for irresponsibility and a lack of accountabilty. What a douche, don't be blind about it, captain was right on in the beginning. I'd be looking for a way to have him help you pay for the bills and damages.
Victim- I have read it and saw the movie. I completely agree with everything. That's why I'm not sweating it. He's not into me, his loss.
Leo- I am not worried about the bills. Well, I am but I'm not going to go out of my way for him to pay for it. I don't want to be in contact with him at all.