Cancer Woman trying to get a Gemini Man
I NEED HELP!!!
I met this Gemini male a few weeks ago and everything was going great. On our first date he asked me how many kids I want and talked about when we live together. That was a little freaky but I thought it was endearing. He even told me how much he liked me. We haven't had sex, yet. I want to preface that.
Here's where the situation gets a little out of the ordinary: I went to his apartment a couple weeks ago and we were making out. He picked me up to kiss me and I hit my head incredibly hard on the ceiling. Needless to say I have a concussion. He was really apologetic and I told him to stop apologizing because it was an accident. So I start having post concussion symptoms (i.e. fainting, seizures) while I'm at work and I need someone to give me a ride to the hospital. I called him because he is the only person I know who doesn't work full time. That was Wednesday Feb. 22. The doc told me I needed someone to stay with me the next 48 hours so I don't die. He said he couldn't do it and I didn't pressure him since we are just starting out. I didn't hear from him until Saturday 25th. He invited me to come to this bar he always goes to EVERY Saturday night. He told me the reason he was avoiding me was because he was embarrassed and felt guilty and he didn't know what to say. He introduced me to his friends and they knew about my concussion so he told his friends about me. He also told me he called his dad and told him. I feel like you don't talk about someone you just meet to your friends and family unless you actually like them.
He walked me to my car and said he wanted to slow things down and that he wasn't sure if he wanted to date me. He also said that when he gets distant, he's distant with everyone in his life. He assured me he's not going anywhere and then showered me with compliments. Fair enough. We will take it slow. Monday morning at work on the 27th, I fainted again and called him to pick me up. Again, for the same reasons. He was walking into work and I told him I would take a cab to the ER. When I got home from the ER i texted him to tell him I was home and I was going to bed then asked if he would call me the next day. I didn't hear from him. I sent him a text on Thursday (i went back to the ER) just to tell him I was there and I would like for him to come by that night or at least call and check on me. I didn't get a response. Friday night, the 2nd, I sent him a text asking what he was doing and got nothing. Unfortunately, Saturday night a friend of mine came in town and she wanted to go to the bar that he is going to be at. She didn't know he would be there and she's my guest so I did what she wanted. He didn't say a word to me.
His friends came by to say hello to me but not him. He knew i was there and i was giving him his space but after what's happened, i think he could have at least said hello. One of his friends even gave me a hug goodbye as they were leaving. He stood idly by and laughed while shaking his head with his head down. I called him this morning and got no answer so i left a message. All i said was I don't know what happened because we were having fun and I would like to talk to you, hope to hear from you.
Can someone please tell me what went wrong here?? I'm sure he viewed my phone calls for help as being needy but I don't think that I'm out of line for asking for a text to ask "How are you?"
Spookykat last edited by
Well Dear... This is a pretty typical Gemini story. Yikes about the concussion but to me it sounds like you relied a little too heavily too quickly. Yes, he caused you to have all this trouble, but if he isn't offering, there isn't much you can do about it and calling/texting repeatedly is sure to give you the opposite result with any man, Gemini especially. I have been best friends with a Gemini man for 12 years and he is the one that will be there for me in a flash when ever I am in trouble, but if I hounded him for anything, he wouldn't do it for very long. And I have earned him as my night in shining armor by being his best friend all this time. In your situation, he would do the same thing ( in not replying to you) and would beat himself up about it for the rest of his life. ( That is what I think about him telling everyone, he's getting out his guilt.. sorry ) My friend comes and goes from my live, he's been a lover, a best friend, shoulder to cry on, you name it. But what I have learned the most about this sign from all our experiences together is that they only mean what they say when they say it. Then they change and then they mean and say something else. It's super frustrating.. get yourself a good mature Taurus or Capricorn lol. I just started dating a Gemini about 5 weeks ago and for those first 5 weeks he texted or called every morning and every night. Seemed to totally fall in love with me, the first time we got physical and spent an entire day at my place, he talked about moving in..... all that same kind of stuff. Fortunately for me, because of my experience with this sign, I know not to put too much weight on that kind of statement. Now he has some stuff going on and has slowed down on all the super attentive contact and compliments. To keep him from running scared, I MUST allow him this time to himself and busy myself with my own life and activities. (true with all men) While it is unfair for Gemini men to say something about a future together to trusting Cancers and Virgos like us, he means no malice, he feels that way at the time, he could see himself happy with you and never leaving.. but once he's out the door, it's another story. My advice for you with all men: continue to NOT sleep with them early and don't believe their talk of the future until there is a ring on your finger.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh but I felt bad that you had this happen to you, and more that you didn't get any advice here. I would bet you that if you stop with the calls/text/facebook whatever, and DO NOT go to that bar... (I'm sure your friend would have understood and I'm sure you were hoping things would go differently for you there) that he would call eventually. But I would advise you against this person and find someone who appeals to your sweet and loving Cancer self. View it as a lesson learned and don't expect a new dating partner, responsible for injury or not, to be your nurse. That's what long time friends and family are supposed to do!! Good luck hun. Hope the tough love I just laid out helps and leads you to someone better for you!!
Thanks, I do know all this. I haven't spoken to him in a week and a half only because he was not talking to me. I let 5 days go and then snet him a text yesterday as a final reach out moment I guess. I told him: "I realize this thing started out with too much pressure. I just want to have fun, too. I would like to be your friend and see what happens if you will let me. You told me you weren't going anywhere. I'm out of town right now but I hope when I get back you will at least be speaking to me."
I didn't expect him to respond but he did. He said "Sounds good. How are you feeling?" At least he responded. Honestly, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on it. He asked me if I wanted a relationship a month ago and I told him yes. That didn't mean that I wanted it right away! It takes me awhile to open up which can come off as mysterious and probably why he was interested in me. I also asked him what his stance was on me hooking up with a guy on my vacation. He told me to go for it so that is what i shall do.
I do apprecaite your "tough love" haha. He's 3 years younger than me and is not ready to settle down. NEITHER AM I! In fact, the idea of committment scares the crap out of me. I think now that he knows we are both on the same page, it will get better.
Spookykat last edited by
Of course you didn't mean to!!! Men are so so frustrating, and way to easily scared... I hate the games... Good luck, follow your heart!!!
Last night, an opportunity presented itself to hook up with a guy while I am on vacation. I didn't know what to do so I asked the Gem what his stance was on me hooking up with someone out here. He said "go for it." So I said "Awesome. I let you know when I am back in town." and he said "ok."
I'm doing me. I don't care what he's doing. I just would rather have the boundaries set now. Now he knows that i am going to hook up with someone if I want and I have no problems if he does the same.