I'm a virgo sun/leo moon/cap rising he's a gemini
I don't know what his moon and rising signs are but he fluctuates between outgoing and super chatty to very sensitive and withdrawn. This is also the case with me. We are both artistic people, he is a producer and I am a writer. We seem to be so incredibly similar in our interests and moods, but somehow, the more he attempts to appease me and gain my trust, the more I distrust him.
Most of it has to do with the fact that he is still great friends with his ex wife who is also a Gemini. She is engaged and has a baby with another man, yet she and my boyfriend were high school sweethearts and they still have matching puzzle piece tattoos. He has told me that he will not stop being friends with her. Because of this, I am very, very cautious! He wants me to show more affection toward him and I have analyzed this to the millionth degree. I wonder if he wants this in order to make his ex jealous. However, when we are together in private, he has this look in his eye and he has told me he is falling for me. I did not respond to this, but I am affectionate with him and I am falling for him.
If I am being honest, I want to win. I want to annihilate his ex and I want him to prove to me that he is 100% loyal. In my mind I hear myself saying "work for it boy!" I also have huge urges to make him jealous and have done so in very indirect manipulative ways. I then feel guilty after the fact. He does not have a problem with me meeting the ex, although the time that she was supposed to come out, she ended up not making it.
He has opened up to me more and more over the past several months that we have been together. Although he has done some seriously childish things to gain my attention, such as blocking his relationship status on facebook. When I noticed this and questioned him about it, he initially said he didn't know it was like that and then fixed it. Later, he admitted that he only blocked it from my view and that he was 'getting me back' for questioning whether we should remain together. He would not apologize to me, but when I got upset over this he spent 2 hours on the phone telling me he would do anything I want to make things work and he has since texted and called me every day.
I have never been attracted to men who are doormats for me and submit to my whim right away. But I also lose interest if there is too much of a chase. This Gemini seems to have hit the sweet spot right in the middle. However I do ultimately want a functional relationship with a great degree of trust. I'm caught in this scenario where I am only interested in someone if there is a challenge, but deep down I want to love and be loved.
So I wonder if the progress we have made is a positive sign, or if I should abandon ship because of his Gemini tendencies and the ex wife still in the picture?
Well, I think I may be able to offer some advise, as a fellow Virgo. I have just recently started seeing a Gemini who has an (apparently difficult) ex wife and a child. I also have been best friends and at some times lovers with a Gemini man for about 12 years, so I have learned a lot and have studied astrology since early childhood.
I'm going to be straight with you here, as a fellow Virgo I hope you understand why it is important that I don't sugar coat....
First thing I am noticing is you seem to be pretty guarded. He will sense that, and I think your expectation may be a little unrealistic. The Leo in you seems to be pulling a little of that I think. From the start, it sounds like you want him to cover/remove a tattoo?? That's never, ever going to happen. And insisting on it will do nothing but push him out the door and cause him to resent you for trying. All he will see that as is you trying to control him, which is death for a Gemini. Choose to stop looking at it as a matching tattoo and just enjoy his body the way it is. Secondly, Gemini will have female friends. Ex wives, girlfriends, friend's ex girlfriends... it doesn't matter. They are extremely social and they don't see them that sexual way. Currently he sees YOU that way. My long time friend sees and is friendly with nearly every girl he has hooked up with, (myself included) and he may remember it happened, but that doesn't mean he is hanging with them for a repeat event. He appreciated them then, and he does now, just in a different way. If he was to force every important female out to make you happy, I guarantee you would be miserable with the man that he would become. Having seen a Gemini who's hands were tied to do something like that, I cringe at the thought. He will always need more than just you. It's a fact.
I wonder why you think that someone asking you for affection is only for the reason of making someone jealous? What if he really just wants to be close to you? My Gemini doesn't live near me, so maybe that is part of it, but when we have the opportunity to be in the same place, we are glued to each other. Alone, in public, it doesn't matter. Both Geminis I have shared a bed with are like an insect when they are sleeping, with arms and legs wrapping all over me...my best friend is married to a Gemini and said the same thing. For me as a Virgo, I don't tend to be much of a PDA type. But I have to say, I would rather be with a man who wants to hold my hand then not. What more validation do you need then affection?? I hope that you can see this for what it is... He wants to touch your sexy Virgo body... come on.. we are curvy ladies!! Also, they can sometimes have a hard time getting out the really tough emotions. I have always felt that physical contact is how they get that out...
You are going to get childish behavior from him. They are the Peter Pan of the zodiac. For mature Virgo it can be extremely frustrating... but it sounds like you are playing childish games your self so he can "proof he cares"
Look, I have dated some serious psychos, I have dated doormats, and been the doormat. I would agree that there seems to be enough of a nice guy and a bad guy in Gemini to keep us interested. I would urge you to take a good look at what you are doing and stop questioning what he tells you. Men don't hang around unless they want to. They don't do anything they don't want to... If he is there, that should be reason enough for you to trust he sees some sort of relationship future with you. Forget about pushing the ex out. It's not going to happen. Everyone has exes, it's part of life. Look in the mirror and see how much you have going for YOU and don't worry about feeling insecure about the last person. His ex has a new family!!! They have both moved on. You need to move on from their relationship too and get into your own.. with him rather than against him. You say you want trust. That has to start with you.
PS.. Forget about facebook. It has the potential to be the death of all relationships. Your best bet is NOT to look at his page or activity... ever. It will bring nothing but suspicion.