Dating a Taurus man - HELP!
I hope someone can shed some light on my situation. I am dating a Taurean Man (born on May 20) with a Moon in Libra. Not sure of rising as I don't know his time of birth. We have been dating for 3 months but have been moving verrrrry slowly. I have done extensive reading on the net about Taurus males and this seems par for the course. He is 44 and I am 33 which doesn't bother me as I prefer an older man. He is a great person, lovely and kind, generous etc, taking me to nice dinners, lunch, driving me around, opens my door etc so all nice romantic things. We take turns making each other dinner, watching movies, going places and just generally enjoying each others company. I remember the moment he took my hand, my heart soared because I knew from the moment I met him, he wasn't like other guys and the fact that he placed so much emphasis on taking my hand one night, meant that he (at least to me) was serious and I was happy to take it slow. The odd thing though is that we haven't really kissed each other. Sure, we've kissed on the lips, had hugs, snuggled on the couch and held hands, but nothing beyond that. It doesn't bother me so much how fast or slow it moves and I am not worried about the **** side at the moment, but I am a bit confused by his actions. Doesn't a guy that likes a girl want to kiss her properly? I will also add he has a 12 year old daughter so I understand the need to want to be careful about who you bring into your life too. I haven't met her as yet and I am also fine with that.
Up until about 2 weeks ago we were seeing each other at least 3 times a week depending on the week. All of a sudden, he seems to have dropped off a bit. He doesn't call or takes time to return calls, doesn't always return texts and sometimes returns calls with a text, which really irritates me. So for about 2 weeks I haven't seen him. I know he has been really busy with a scuba diving course he has just taken on and has been totally exhausted from it but can't he find a few minutes even a couple of times a week to even chat to me? I understand if he is busy if we don't see each other but the sudden lack of contact hurts me. Is he over it?
I finally caved and called him on Monday to see how he was (which he returned with a text) and said he was busy with scuba this week and could we catch up on Sunday. I said OK, that was a result and I am praying now he keeps the date. The weird thing is, he always checks my Facebook, posts funny comments or 'Likes' my statuses and also RSVPed straight away about a week ago when I organised a bowling night with friends. Keep in mind - he hasn't met the friends yet, so the quick response made me feel great. So why the split personality???
One thing I should mention also is that on Valentine's Day, we didn't see each other and nothing happened. All I got was a text that said 'Happy Valentine's Day xxxx'. That was nice but I was disappointed that's all. Granted, I didn't know his feelings on the day so I couldn't really get too upset. Because I am me, I bought him a little gift but nothing too personal or mushy so I got him a keyring with his initials on it. He loved it and put it straight on his keyring, telling me it would 'be with him always'. He was quite stoked I remembered his middle name and gave me kisses but nothing passionate, just lots of little ones. I wrote a nice card too - nothing too mushy - just saying that I thought he was an awesome person and I was really enjoying getting to know him and I look forward to many more adventures. Simple yet it said something. Would this have scared him off?
SO (and I apologise for the long-windedness), what do you think gives? What should I do? Has he gone cold? Should I bring it up? I've read conflicting info on the net so I'm not sure. Some sites say pursue him, others say let him pursue you. I know Taurus males don't like to be pushed and they're slow but how slow is too slow? Do I risk saying something or wait for him and at what point do I stop looking at him as a 'Taurus' and start thinking about the right way I deserve to be treated?
Any advice would be HUGELY appreciated!!! Thanks so much if you've read this far!!!
It seems a little odd, especially in today's world, but honestly, I think it is sweet that he is treating you like a lady, with the exception of the no or limited contact all of a sudden.
I need to know just a little more. What was the chemistry between you too? Were there ever moments that it felt as though the room was going to erupt in flames? Or has he been casual from the beginning?
Thanks for your reply That's the thing - there is awesome chemistry between us, even though the intimacy has been limited. When we're together, he looks at me and I mean REALLY looks at me. His eyes don't wander and he 'll make little hints at things that tell me he sees a future with me. He asks me questions about my life and not just the 'How was your day?' kind of thing but about interests that I have that he has remembered etc. He has complimented me and has told me I have a beautiful smile. I remember one comment where he was at my place and said he had to leave so he could let me get my beauty sleep. I joked and said 'Might need more than a few hours' and laughed. He said 'I think you're beautiful already.' I said 'Aww, I bet you say that to all the girls'. And he said, quite matter of factly, 'Actually, no." So those sorts of things give me positive hope. As I said, it was all great up until the 2 weeks, hence why I am confused as!
Look forward to your thoughts
Well, one thing I know for sure is that it seems in our sign our male counter parts are very different. There was a lady who posted on here, that has a very similar story. Taurus male fully engaged when they were together, about the same age, had kids, divorced, but when they were apart, she wondered if he even cared.
Now, what it seemed like there was that he was worried he could not give her what she wanted, kids. However, she didn't care about that as much as she did about him. I am not sure where they are at presently, but she loves this man fully.
Do you have kids? Do you think it is possible that your situation is similar?
Yes well that certainly seems to be the case, at least in the case of when we're together it's awesome and when we're apart sometimes I wonder if he's even into me. I've seen a fair few other bits and pieces on the internet where people have felt the same so at least I'm not alone.
I don't have kids and am not sure if I want them as yet. We actually haven't discussed it, which isn't unusual considering we've only been dating a few months. From what I've read, Taurean men need to have their minds fully figured out before they commit totally (which is fine by me) and once they do, they're all yours BUT because he's so up and down like this, I'm not sure WHAT he's thinking.
Well, that is the way it seems to me too. I know for me, as a Taurean woman, once I am in...I am all in!!
So...what we have to focus on, is what is going through his mind...
Which oh my goodness...he is a man!! lol
But, he is into you...so you need to remain calm...even aloof.But not too aloof that he does not think you are interested.
We Taureans are all about pleasure and satisfying our senses.....so what do you know about him, that could really turn him around?
Do you have a specific parfume' that he can recognize?
Haha you have a valid point - often figuring out ANY man is a challenge!!
OK, so the lack of contact doesn't mean he's gone cold? Could it be he's scared? Brooding? Or just absorbed in his own world? Or even all of the above haha! I guess I am worried he's had a change of heart...
Hmmm, I wear a few different perfumes so am not sure. I know that when I see him tomorrow, I am going to make an extra effort to dress nicely. Nice skirt and top or dress, do my makeup and wear perfume (which I always do). Should I make a move to kiss him a little more passionately than we have or will that freak him out? So if he goes to kiss me and its only the usual quick kiss, could I say something like (in a fun way, not demanding) 'Come back here, I haven't finished with you yet' or something to that effect that is playful but indicates my interest?
Sorry, I did not respond to this!! So ..how did it go??
Hi Taurus 7,
Thanks so much for your advice. A bit of an update:
So, probably about 10 mins after I posted, he called me - hurrah! We chatted for about half an hour and organised to meet up. I had a shower, put on a nice flowy, silky skirt and a singlet. Tiny bit of eyeliner, lip gloss, some nice perfume and minimal jewellery - doing my best to appeal to the senses yet making it look like minimal effort
I travelled over to his area which is only 15-20 minutes from me. We had a nice hug and kiss hello but nothing over the top. Headed down to the beach and had a lovely brunch. One thing I love is that when we talk we really talk and he listens (I am the same). He is very much an active listener (yes, total Taurean thing!) and always asks me questions about me and my life when we chat on the phone and in person however if we communicate via text or email, alot of the time he doesn't. He shouted me breakfast and then a coffee, which we took away and went and sat down at the beach and just chatted for ages, sitting close together but not being affectionate. We always walk hand in hand and he is totally comfortable with that, but that's about the extent of it. Having said that, I noticed a couple of times when I had to walk in front of him, his hand lightly touched my back.
Headed back to his place after and watched a good ol' comedy DVD. We both love comedy and I know this is especially good for a Taurus too! He went and sat on a separate lounge to me, which put me off a little at first, but he wanted to lie down as he was quite tired. The fact that he was quite tired and didn't ask me to leave so he could rest was a good sign I thought. He fell asleep a couple of times, which didn't bother me. After the DVD was over, the rain wasn't far off so we raced out to bring in his washing, which I helped with. I wasn't sure if he felt awkward about me handling his 'unmentionables' I just didn't say anything and neither did he so I don't think he really cared.
Shortly after, it was time to go as he had more study to do for his scuba course and needed to sleep. I was fine as we'd spent a good 6 hours together by this point. This is where I changed my behaviour a little. We were standing in his kitchen and had big hugs just holding each other. I told him it was really nice to see him and he said the same thing back to me. When he pulled back I kissed him properly and we did that for a little bit. Again, didn't last long but it was progress. We pulled back and he let go but I didn't. I just stood there with my arms still around his waist looking and smiling at him, talking and saying goodbye etc. Again, he didn't seem to mind. I asked him over for dinner on Wednesday night which he said 'he'd love to' so that was great too.
As I left, it was pouring by this stage and I said I'd just run out to the car quickly, but he wouldn't have it. He walked me out with an umbrella which was very sweet. Gave him another couple of kisses goodbye and just as I got into the car, I realised I had left the milk I'd bought in his fridge. He went back to get it for me which was sweet too. When he came back and gave me the milk, he leaned into the car and went to give me another kiss goodbye and this time I held his face a little and said 'Bye, sweetie.' We waved goodbye and that was it.
I was on Cloud 9 all the way home. It was an awesome afternoon and as always whenever I spend time with him, I just love him more and more. We certainly haven't said 'I love you' yet but I feel it with him already. There is so much spark there and from what I here, that is also par for the course with a Taurus.
It all reads quite positive to me. I never brought up the lack of contact or the V Day gift as I didn't think it needed to be said. His actions said he was happy to see me and the fact that he was happy to spend time with me on a day he was quite tired says a lot too - that he was happy to fit me into his schedule. He also said that he wanted me to learn to dive so I could go with him so it's all sounding great and I feel a lot better than I did when I originally posted.
Having said that, if anyone has any other comments, please feel free as I value and appreciate all opinions.
SEE!!! You didn't need any help, you just (like any other female) needed a little reassurance! I am happy for you!! And just a little inside info to our odd Taurean selves!! lol
Just always be yourself!! I am a funny, silly and often times goofy person! You seem very smart, tidy, in order, yet relaxed. NONE of that is bad, BUT just remain true to who you are. If you wanna plant a kiss on that man...do it....if you want him to continue to lead, then do that. You are a smart girl, you can read the signs.... It's all ok......forcing a relationship is never a good thing.
Thanks T7 Reassurance was definitely needed. I felt it was all OK but after 2 weeks of almost no contact, I was worried. I've had guys do that to me in the past and then just drop off. It just didn't add up to all his previous actions or the comments/likes on FB etc so I am praying all will be OK and will just try and deal with the fact that he may do this again (in fact probably will!) Your support was really appreciated thanks!
So, judging from my update would it be safe to say that he is definitely wanting to hang on to me? Any tips for me that might help?
Got another one for you - hope you can help! sigh
Am not as distressed about it but am getting somewhat annoyed. This morning, my man's place got broken into and he confronted the person. Nothing was stolen and he wasn't hurt so all was OK on that front. He sent me a very long email this morning about it, which I thought was nice that he was sharing it all with me. As I was at work today, I called him in my lunch break. He didn't answer which was OK. I left a message letting him know that I was thinking of him and to call me whenever he could so he could tell me about it. No return call OR text. I tried calling after I left work but this time didn't leave a message. It is now 9:40pm at night. I called about 20 mins ago and left another message.
Why doesn't he return any of my calls? What gives here? This is what confuses the hell out of me! Again, I am not tooo distressed but more hurt/offended that he took the time to write me this long winded email yet can't return THREE phone calls made to him today as I was concerned about his welfare.
Any feedback would be great!
That would frustrate me with anyone! I find it rude to not respond to anyone who is trying to contact you. Even though he was fine, I can easily see why you just want to hear his voice. I would tell him that in person. Maybe it would be good for him to hear the concern in your voice. MEN! lol Sometimes they just don't get how women are!
Well, I have an update for you
So, the original plan was to meet my man's daughter last night but I got a text on Friday letting me know that she had to go to a party out near where she lives which meant he'd had to drive her there. I texted him back saying I was disappointed as I'd been looking forward to meeting her but I understood. Not only was I looking forward to meeting his daughter but I was looking forward to him meeting my friends too. So for a good part of Friday, I felt kinda crappy. I get a text at lunch time asking if I wanted to go to the markets with him and his daughter on the Sunday afternoon instead which I thought was great. It said to me that it meant something to him too so of course I agreed.
He picked me up this afternoon and the three of us travelled to the markets. I had decided that I was not going to initiate anything like holding his hand etc as I thought if he does it, fine but it is the only instance that I would be OK about it. As it turned, out he didn't and I was fine. I had bought some chocolate for Lizzy but as I was conscious of not wanting it to appear like a 'bribe', I said that it was given to me by the girls at work because they knew I loved Reese's and because I can't eat it at the moment (I'm on a health program!), I said I thought she might like it, which she did. We had a nice afternoon wandering around the markets. My man is really easygoing, as is his daughter and as am I, so it all went really well. I got a sense of some of the things she liked so pointed different things out to her to look at. We had a great time and it was all very relaxed. There is a vintage market on in a couple of weeks which he asked me to go to (in front of his daughter) of which of course I said yes! He also wants me to go scuba diving with him ASAP so we can do it together. It's great he is integrating me into his life and it feels like a bit of a turning point.
I still don't have definition as such but I think it will eventually just be a natural evolution - just a bit slower than usual His actions are speaking loudly enough so am feeling MUCH MUCH better about it all now. It may be that he's realising that he really wants to be with me and is starting to become more comfortable with it. From all that I have read and been advised on, Taureans don't integrate into their lives if they don't think you're worth it He gave me a kiss on the lips goodbye - nothing major, just a kiss and hug. I sent him a text about 20 mins later thanking him for a lovely afternoon, that it was nice to meet his daughter and that she was a sweetheart like her dad He wrote back and said that she really liked me too so I am verrrrry happy about this. Obviously, her disapproval wouldn't stop me dating him but to me it's important that she likes me as it would make everything MUCH easier.
Thanks for all your support everyone and hopefully now things will just continue to go along, hopefully the pace picking up a little and before long it'll all be on full steam ahead!!!
That is wonderful! I am so glad for you!! I was wondering about what was going on! Thanks for the update!