Another cancer man issue

  • Hi Everyone, I have been reading all the posts the last couple of weeks. As you can tell from the topic I to am having issues with a cancer man. Here is the background. I have worked with this man the last year and a half. He is a teacher and I work in the school also, not as a teacher but as a community representive. It's bascially social work. Anyways, I have been drawn to this man since I have met him. Last fall I started to ask a few questions about him and found out he had just gone through a divorce. So I didn't do anything. I have been through a divorce a few years ago and know he needed time. So I kept waiting. It just seems the universe was trying to tell me something. I would run into him around town, in the hall ways of the school, it just seems the signs kept pointing to him. Then the last week of school a friend of ours died. When I got to the school on that day, he was the first person I ran into. He didn't say anything just wrapped his arms around me and held me for awhile. I knew right then I didn't want to let go of him. The next night we meet for dinner. It was the best first date I ever had. We talked nonstop for 4 hours. It was like I have known him my whole life. I was so comfortable with this man. Although he did tell me that the divorce is not final because of the custody issue of his son. His son is 4 years old. He is a wonderful dad. Anyways I knew then that I should have kept waiting, that he wasn't ready yet but I was so drawn to him. For the next three weeks we spent all our time together if he didn't have his son. I was so happy and comfortable with him. He is so sweet and caring, funny and smart. We have all the same interests and dreams for the future. Our goals in life are the same. We just seemed to fit well together. Then I left for 11 days on a cruise with my family. While I was on vacation I even realized how much I like this guy. It freaked me out because it has been so long since I have allowed myself to feel anything for anybody. But I told myself there are no guarntees in life, if you find happiness go with it. I was so excited to get home and see him. Well here is the issue. I come home, I text him twice on that day, once from the airport in florida and once when I got home. No response. I wait. I called him two days later and no answer, no return phone call. I send one last text message two days later, still no response. Needless to say I cryed a lot. I figured ok this guy doesn't want anything to do with me. Two weeks later on this last Tuesday I get a text message from him saying he knows he has lots to apoligize for and to explain, he wants to tell me but has his son that night so it might be Wedsnesday before he has a chance and that he hopes I will hear him out. I replied with a simple ok. Wednesday night at 10 I haven't heard from him so I send another text message that says if he really wants to talk I will listen, whenever he is ready I will listen. Still no word from him. What the hell is going on? I know this guy is not a jerk, in my heart I know he is a really good man. I also know that there was a very strong connection between him and I. Is he just freaked out and afraid to talk to me? I want so bad to tell him that I will understand what is going on with him because I have been there before. I know all the emotions you go through during a divorce. I want to believe that we have a connection and if timing is off right now ok, I will not hold it against him nor will I close the door on him. Now I will not pass up other opportunities should the arise but if he needs time I will give it to him. Help what do I do? And what is he doing? I am so confused.

  • Oh boy. It's interesting how normally after first dates, when guys don't call us back- it doesn't really matter all that much. Yet, with these Cancers... they have a knack for giving us the best date of our lives (the song that I've always wanted to be my wedding song started playing while we're in an intimate corner at a French Bistro....yep), then pull away. Leaving us wondering what happend, because everything seemed perfect. We can sense they're feeling it least we think....All I can tell you is, if you want him around stay sweet- but always put yourself first. If you are tempted to text him, but would die if he didn't respond back, then don't text.

  • Thanks Karma, the sweet part isn't a problem. That is just who I am and unforunately that is not always a good thing. I really think he was feeling it too, I think that is why he freaked out. But then again without him talking to me, I really don't know what is going on.

  • ariestar-i luckily got with my cancer a few years after his divorce and though it's been a long, slow, frustrating time of it and i'm no expert my advice (kind of from experience) he knows you are back so do not text or call him again. usually that will get them to respond. from what i gather from the thread Karma & I both post on the ones who are fresh out of relationships are the hardest ones to deal with.

    i agree with karma too-put yourself first! they will make you second guess every single thing about yourself at some point too! for some reason their magnetism is beyond belief and if you can detach yourself at all here in the beginning i think it be of great benefit. luckily too, the first 3 or so months after i met mine, i wasn't interested in being in love or a relationship, i think it saved me a lot of heartache. he still drives me up a wall but i'm lost in love!

    good luck! keep us posted.

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