Help!! I need advices how to deal with my ex Libra



  • My ex Libra (13/10/84) and me (01/09/85) split up 4 months ago after 8 months in relationship, we did split up once after few time arguments before, for 3 weeks and got back, but then he was out of the blue felt he wasn't ready for a committed relationship. We did NC rule for 2 months and started to chat up again, and I got misunderstood as of mixed signal from him, I thought he was interested again and wanted to get back so we met up once and ended up sleeping with each other, and he asked me what would I think about FwB? which drove me nut cos I knew I made a mistake. He told me he still find me very attractive, cares about me a lot, enjoys my company too but he can't commit. But I made clear to him that I want him to be my bf because I still love him, or we can just be normal friend, defo no benefit, I'm not into anything in between. I told him I'm willing to be patient giving him space so he can figure out what's right and make up his mind. He got it and he never mentioned about it anymore, and I never let him to cross the line of friendship, unless he commits he knows it. After that, he still keeps initiate contacting me, but more constantly like three times a week, just talk about general things in life with some sort of flirtation, I always get back in nicely and friendly way and we seem get along very well. He sometimes does the disappear thing, back up for 2-3 days then starts the conve again but never ignoring me. I met him once last weekend cos he really needs a nice company, we were just talking a few hours then I went home (we live very close to each other). When I left he asked me if we will go out for some drinks soon? which for me its a new improvement, he's asking me out? But till now he didn't mention about it again (he did told me he was very skint and didn't get paid till today). I'm just wondering is he rethinking about it again? As a Libra is very wishy washy they might change their decision very quick. Should I make a move, remind about it? Or should I leave him space to think about it again? Some people said Libra's very indecisive so sometimes they need to be persued to push them make decision? We both have been single still and haven't seen anyone yet since we split up, I feel that he still has feelings for me, and I really want to be with him but he's taking so long to make his mind and I hate the feeling not knowing whats going on, should I invest or withdrawn?

    I will appreciated to any advices, thanks a lot!!!



  • LovelyVirgo,

    You need to make a deceision here for yourself. Do you want to wait for this man to say yes you are the one and only in my life, or you can make it more interesting for yourself and start to date others and watch Mr. Libra become either very committed or he will be gone. The choose is yours. Men no matter what sign they are, like to know that a woman is desireable to other men, it puts a feather in their cap so to speak.

    Shuabby



  • Hi Shuabby thanks for your advice. I did make a decision to let him go, I asked him if he wanted to go out the other night but he said he was going with friend and had too much boozes didn't think it a good idea but we will. I was mad and I broke it off I told him I can't be friend with him anymore because I still have feelings toward him and I couldn't help but grow up more expectations and hopes, and I always ended up hurting myself when those expectations were failed. He claimed he is still attracted to me very much and fancy me a lot, and he said he's admitted he's scared of commitment. He doesn't want to string me along, but can't stand me being disappeared in his life. If we can be friend he would be very happy. I still stick with my decision and deleted all the contacts from him. Then after couple of days he text me saying why did I delete him off everything thats childish and didn't I agree to be friend. Why being friend with him would waste my time and hurting me? He misses me a lot and asking if he still can be my friend? I don't understand why he can't stand the idea of losing me in his life, still fancy me a lot but still can't commit? After we split up I was on few dates and they all fancy me to go more exclusively but I couldn't feel the spark with other guys cos I still love my ex bf (I'm not easy to open my heart and able to love someone, he's the only the second one I fell hard for in my life). I still move on my life without him but I know a part of me belongs to him that I still want him back. But the libra men are so indecisive is there anyway to lead them to know what they want lol? I really need some love reading and advices please?

    Thanks,

    Love



  • LovelyVirgo

    You did the right thing by deleteing him , and letting him go. He can not use you for his cardnel needs and dismiss you, because you are to sensitive for that type of treatment and to smart. Tell him that perhaps in the future you can be friends but not now.

    I do feel another young man coming into your life and I see a lot of books around him. He is studying to become a doctor or engineer. He will be more on the reserved side, yet have passion when needed also, he has a funny laugh and inate charm. Yellow is a color that he will like and wear.

    Don't dispair as Love is in the air around you.

    Shuabby



  • Yeah there is another man works as a doctor in France who's really into me, he even flighted from France to London to see me, but I didn't feel any interest to crave for it and I don't like the idea using people and stringing them along to wait untill I'm ready, when I'm not into them. As I'm still pretty much into my ex libra, and even I cut him off totally in contact now I know I will still wait for him because I feel he's the one for me. Is there any chance I can win him back?

    Much appreciate for your helps,

    Love



  • LV, according to your astrological profiles, this relationship can work as a love match and even for marriage - but only if the two of you are prepared to accept certain conditions and compromises. The two of you must both value what you have because this will contribute to the relationship's longevity. But don't get too proud, smug or conceited because you may arouse other people's envy or animosity. Your partner will want and need to take the lead in this relationship (especially about who controls the money). You LV may end up doing all the giving and him all the taking unless you point out to him what he is doing. You can be quite content to serve as his helpmate in marriage as long as he satisfies your needs to feel both desirable and smart. Otherwise you will have to be unduly dedicated and may end up resentful towards him.

    This love affair is more sensuous than passionate - fine food, massage, softly seductive music, and a comfortable ambiance can all be part of the picture. It's not the most intimate or close of relationships but a lot of people would consider it ideal in many ways. You LV will have to be careful not to appear too needy or clingy as your partner may feel (rightly or wrongly) that you are becoming too dependent on him. He may even pull back as he cannot handle it when things get too serious and heavy with responsibility. You will have to be the practical one in the relationship and take care of managing its obligations and duties. You can well provide your partner with all he needs physically, but you may unintentionally withhold the warmth and understanding he needs most. Yet you can be the stabilizing, steadying influence in his life that he really craves. Your partner is very tough to get through to - it's not easy for him to admit to his darker urges, like greed and lust. Sex and money are often linked for him and he may have a fear of being fleeced or violated by other people (as has probably happened to him in the past). Trust is a huge issue for him so you must prove you are trustworthy before he will feel safe with you.



  • Hi The Captain, it is so true about us, he called our relationship off because he felt its too much pressure and I was being too needy, although I think I have very independent life and wasn't sure what brought him to this feeling. So we're not together now but being a good friend, he said he still has a romantically feeling toward me, fancy me a lot and stuff but too scared of commitment that he can't make it. But I can't handle my feelings under the friend term as well, I always end up wanting more than he can give me and feel like I'm only giving and he's taking use of me, as you said. He begged me to stay and be his friend because he doesn't want me to disappear of his life. So I'm now getting stuck not knowing what to do, how to get the balance between us, how to get him step out of his cell and open his heart and admit his issues so we can work it out together?

    Thanks a lot for your help,

    Love



  • Well, he is still doing all the taking - he wants you in his life but he doesn't want to commit to you. If he wants a good relationship, he has to be prepared to give something back to you. And you have to be prepared to ask for it. Make him see that he cannot have it all his own way. You may be able to work out a compromise where you both get what you want - or you may not be able to work it out, so you will have to break it off completely and find someone who is prepared to do some of the giving. You cannot waste your life on someone who is so selfish and immature that they don't take your needs into consideration and only want to please themselves. It's all or nothing here.



  • Yeah I cut off all the contacts at the moment, yet he reached out once asking why I agreed to be his friend but now I can't. And how being his friend wasting my time and hurting me? And stated again that he still wants to be my friend. I told him I can't be his friend because I still have strong feelings toward him. I've tried very hard to be his friend, yet always understand and support him even more than friend, with a hope we can understand each other more, he would grow more trust on me and be able to open his heart and work out his issues. But I always ended up hurting myself whist dealing with my emotions. I told him I think the best way is withdrawn from him, move on and find someone else who will be able to stay with me 100%. I asked him why doesn't he want to be with me and build up a new relationship if he's still attracted to me, fancy me a lot and there's still strong connection between us? He hasn't got back and gone quiet for few days already. Does it mean he accepted to let me go? Or he's taking time to think about it? I don't know what should I take it as? Should I break it off and move on or there're still hopes?

    Sorry for asking you too much but my mind is so messing now 😞

    Thanks for your helps anw

    Love



  • He is dithering over what to do - decisions are so very hard for Librans. But I feel you are asking him to be more serious about the relationship than he wants to be at the moment. He has problems with the serious responsible stuff in life and would probably be quite content to drift along forever without ever having to make a decision or choice. He doesn't want your relationship to change or deepen as he is happy with it as it is, so you telling him you will leave him has thrown him into a quandary. He will probably choose the easy way and do nothing.



  • Hi theCaptain,

    Well I'm not into something too heavy serious like marriage or settle down, just a potential boyfriend and we had been together 8 months so I expected it to be more offical. I think its normal for couple after 8 months you will be able to see clearer about the big future picture. I don't want it too casually cos I have problems with fun/casual dating which always leads to nowhere and he agreed it when we started to date each other. I can't be friends neither so is there anyway we can make any balance compromise between us? I'm sure he still has feelings toward me.

    Thanks a lot.



  • Yes he has feelings for you but they are not as deep as yours for him. He wants a more casual fun relationship.



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