Please help me with a reading: Marriage Potential
My cancer bf finally asked to marry him and now suddenly he is acting all erratic. He seems to be irked by the slightest things. He's retreated back to his shell and refuses to communicate at all about what's bothering him.
I tried to ask him calmly whether he had a change of mind or wants to opt out of the relationship but he does not answer. I'm trying to listen to him and be communicative but it is not helping. I don't know what's going in his mind, whether it's a phase, or is it boredom?
I am hoping that it is a phase and it will pass. I love him for sure but I am not sure I would be able to deal with that on a daily basis if we get married. I would be sad if we broke up but it would be better to spare each other the pain if ever something gets even more messed up later.
Please provide me some insight into this. My d.o.b is mar.10.87 and his jul.05.83.
This combination of personalitites is likely to emphasize what the two of you can learn from it - the relationship itself becomes a teacher with much to impart. This should in general be an easy and enjoyable matchup, and indeed you two water signs usually get along famously. However, a search for meaning may become dominant, though it shouldn't prevent you two from having fun. The objective lessons learned here are many, and include the skills of understanding others and aquiring conscious awareness, spiritual understanding, and patience and fortitude in the face of adversity.
In a love affair here, the two of you will explore the realms of feeling and mine the 'gold' in its subterranean depths. Insights, awareness, and empathy are just a few of the valuables uncovered here, but the process is not without risks and effort - resentment, jealousy, and a whole host of negative emotions are often encountered as well. Still, the two of you are determined to do more than just enjoy yourselves in your love, and generally persevere in your search for truth.
In a marriage here, you two will function as a unit to probe the mysteries of relating to others. Because of your serious psychological interests and emotional expertise, you will be often sought out by family and friends in times of need, both personal and social. The children of such a matchup will generally find their parents sympathetic, understanding, and capable of offering important advice.
Because your partner needs to feel he is serving others and indispensable at his job, he may be torn between work and relationships. Part of him will always want to be at least partially 'single' so that he is free to carry on with his work. He fears that if he goes too deep into a relationship, he may neglect the people who are relying on him to help them. Even if his job is empty or meaningless, he can get glued to it through his illusion that people cannot manage without him. He gets nervous if he even has too long a coffee break from work. It's all about proving to himself that he really is sane and sober. You can understand his need because you too have this deep need to be needed. Your partner must be sure to balance his workaholic nature with the need to relax and have fun. His sense of humanity and his ability to empathize depends on a periodic deviation from critical, analytical intellectualizing and mentalizing with his mind in favour of feeling with his soul and heart. He mustn't become a slave to his work but someone who serves gladly yet takes the time to consider his own health and love life. He deserves to have both in equal portions.
Don't let your partner's obsession with work make you feel used, unappreciated or neglected. You can help him ease back on his obsession with serving others and teach him to give time to himself and your relationship. Show him he can be both a dedicated worker AND a lover, that he will be better and more efficient at his job if he in fact takes more time off to be with you and just kick back and enjoy himself.
Dear Captain, Thank you so much for insight. It's true that both of us share a lot of similarity in terms of our philosophical outlooks. But somehow, the kind of confirmation i'm looking from him that he's into this relationship wholeheartedly, I am not able to get that. I want him to communicate to me but he simply retreats on himself every time an issue arises. It's like he is ready to blow off the relationship at the slightest issue and it scares me. I am having a gut feeling that he proposed just because he feels he is running out of time and wants to get settled... and they say pisceans should trust their gut feelings.. sigh I hoping that i'm only being silly and everything will be fine.. but we fishes arent known to see things as they are..
Have you spoken much with him about his work?
I mostly support him with his work. He's into arts.. So he shows me the finished work when he's done. We talked and agreed that he'll try to talk it out to me everytime he has an issue about anything. Like that, we don't keep ressentments which might later stack up into something really big and ugly. Let's see what happens..
That sounds promising.