Help with my Nephew hanging Himself



  • To anybody that can please help

    My nephew Jamel Mullins March 26 1986 hang himself February 12 2012. Can you please help me and tell me is he ok and is he finding peace. I really can't believe that he did this. But I am just wondering if he is ok and is there anything we should know.

    Thanks so much Illona



  • Illona,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am not a medium, but did ask Jamel if he was around and if he had a message for you. I received such a strong feeling of his presence - like sticking my finger in a light socket. Since I cannot see or hear him - only feel his presence, I pulled some Tarot cards as a way for him to get a message to you. He wants you to know that he is "home" now and is very happy and at peace. He wants you to be happy and at peace as well. In asking why he did this I got a strong sense of sadness and longing, but I could not pinpoint what it had to do with exactly. Not sure if he was lovelorn or just struggling to find his way in life and it just got to be too much for him. But he is happy now. .. Please know that...

    Hopefully some of the mediums on this site will be able to help you with more detail.

    Peace and Love to you,

    Watergirl



  • My condolences to you, I had lost my brother in 2008 to suicide by hanging as well. May he rest in peace.

    Showing Love



  • To Watergirl18

    Thanks so much. I am happy that he is at peace and feels like he is at home. I know that I have been having a really strong feeling around me. Not really knowing what it was I was feeling. I know the day before this happen I was in the shower and I had the weirdest thing. I was just enjoying the hot water on my back and then I just felt like I want to fall. I could not understand why because I did not feel sick or dizzie or anything so ok. I just stood there and it felt like something came into me. And I felt a little better and I just stay in the shower but i still felt weak and then just before I got out of the shower I felt at peace just weird nothing I had felt before. Could not understand. Then the day that it happen I was off balance I mean really off balance like I want to fall again, and I just could not understand because it was not like a sick or anything and when I got the phone call it made sense to me what was going on. Well that helps alot thanks Watergirl18



  • Thanks LoveDetox

    you know it is there is so many unanswered questions not for me but for his sisters and brothers. And then his mom. She is now really not knowing how too deal with it so she is not dealing with it. ANd I feel bad because I can't help. But thanks again

    Illona



  • Hi blackladydiver, he says shame made him do it. He shows me himself at some kind of club or society maybe a sport club and there are 3 or 4 boys/men and they are putting him under pressure to pay them money, not sure if blackmail or protection money. And it got too much and he was too ashamed to tell anyone or ask for help. He did not say what precisely the deal was with these guys but it got too much so he got out and saved his pride. He keeps saying sorry to his family he is so sorry for the hurt and pain he is causing them but he is happy where he is now and says it is peaceful. He also looked at me and said"don't do it" because I have been feeling driven to the point of no return this last week, just one of those weeks. He was holding on to his mother.

    I hope this helps snd maybe someone else can add or expand.

    Hugs to you and I wish you strength in this hard time

    xxxPaddu



  • Paddi



  • Did someone else in his family kill themselves? Or drank themselves to death----was considered crazy? I see both circumstance and a genetic issue with depression and delusion. The date was picked on purpose as it was part delusional and had signifigance---as if he was offering himself to a higher cause---he felt a great anger towards himself that was not justified--it was in his head. He was quiet. Yet at times suddenly chatty and goofy. Very very intelligent but had odd fears and superstitions--he didn't always share them and was smart enough to know they were odd. He carried a lot on his shoulders trying to maintain normalcy---he really struggled hard and hid that. Quirky to others but he obssessed others knew he wasn't right but that was how he thought--he tended to magnify everything in his head because really no one thought as badly about him as he did---great intensity---he felt too much--thought too much. It was exhausting. He wasn't always suicidle and he almost snapped out of this delusion---was aware but didn't reach out to anyone. The day befor something triggered his emotions and he suddenly felt the need to focus on that date---how it could not pass or he would be missing this great destiny. It was a sacrifice in his delusion to choose a violent end. Actually, his thought process at the time is so distorted it makes no sense and I must pull away as my chest hurts right now just going there. This young man suffered silently and it was no ones fault. No one could have stopped this---he says that it would have been another day--another way. This was a mental issue--not crazy in your face but a deep intense chest crushing anxiety---worry and self loathing. He needed to expload but could not stand hurting others---any explosions would haunt him terribly---he agonized over every bad word or deed he did. He hated being out of control---it was exhausting when his emotions hit boiling but he couldn't release them in a way that he could live with. He had a hard time relating as a man---had gender fears and issues. Feared both manly aggression and loathed sensitivity--weakness. SUCH DISTORTED THINKING! He no longer suffers. I am so sorry for your familie's loss. This is a hard one. He is close to his mother right now---part of his purpose is to open her up. She had a hard life and is detached. This breaking wide open will pull her back to spirit as she must feel his presence to go on----I believe she will be the one that eventualy makes sense of this and it will either make or break her. His presence will be serving to help loved ones. No regrets is his message. It was his time and the first two years will be chaotic and numb for your family but into the third year healing will start surfacing and he will be remembered again as more than just that final day. Remember the good stuff he says. He is not in hell--he laughs! As someone is fearing thoughts like that. His choice was not a sin to be punished. He is in a place of pure love and with God. Finally he is himself. No longer distorted by his human condition. BLESSINGS!



  • I feel the pain of his family because mine too still suffers from the blow of losing my brother. My mother still suffers the most from it all because we still can only guess why he would take his life. I really do understand where you are all coming from and if these ladies give you the comfort than accept it as it lay and do not worry nor cry for his loss. Peace be with you all and may acceptance come soon for them and you. Hugs of comfort and sympathy given.



  • LoveDetox

    suicides take a lot of energy to connect to---I am done for the night but would like to connect for you--I am a medium. Your case feels different then the above--not so much as a violent action----I feel he did not really plan this out. What I get is a detachment more than delusion. Just an overwhelming disconnect from some aspect of himself he could not accept. I also get that something happened when he was about 6 that changed him. And did he live in a place that people thought sometimes was haunted--had odd occurrences--that were more funny than scary? I will get back to you. BLESSINGS!



  • Thank you Blmoon, that was very kind or more overly kind of you. You are correct about haunted places as well. I am greatly in grattitide.



  • Hello Blmoon

    Thanks so much. Well I know that he was hurting alot. My thing now is that I hope that his mom is strong enough because she was talking about going to be with him. And I just don't know what to do. His mom and I were very close until his dad split us up. Because she would not listen. But there was something wrong with him and his dad. I am not sure what but something. But my thing is that I am glad he is happy. ANd there was a lot of drinking in there family but I am not sure who that was. There side of the family as been a little crazy and I don't know them all. But I know the ones that are here in California and New York. But I thank you very much. Illona



  • Blmoon you don't mention shame, did you feel it? He was so ashamed of himself.

    xP



  • To Blmoon and paddifluff

    I was talking with his mom last night. There was something that he did not tell her andit was

    really bothering him. She was telling me that he though he was sick and that he had been the hospital two or three times before he really did it this time. I just hope now my best friend she does not do anything but yes both of you are right

    I cant thank you enoughbld



  • Paddi

    yes--I got shame but it is connected to something that may hurt not help so waiting on that to pop up on it's own---it is sexuality related and part delusional. My true impression was the onset of schitzophrenia but I'm very carefull about saying that right off--which is why I asked first if there was another incident in his side of the family because there was--I knew that but spirit often lets the person make that connection themselves--slowly but now that I feel it's ok it's in the open and can say---that's what I get---the onset of schitzophrenia. It often shows up in little bits stays under control somewhat but goes full blown often about his age. A trigger happened and it was part real part delusional and was male related---something did occur ---a thought was planted by another man or a group but it would not have mattered as it would have happened anyway--just as he says another day another way. I believe his mental state was more apparent and noticeable and he was teased horribly and took it much harder than should have had he not been sick---guys at that age are very playfully cruel to each other and attach each other's man hood. These guys were having fun with it--that's all--never dreaming of the seriousness of it to him. I believe they did carry it to a power play--that he better pay up to keep them shut up but it was not real. It so distorted in his mind as very much real! But please do not tell his family that in any way this one thing caused this--it did not--what caused it was a medical condition--a very seriouse condition that kills many people. I am not a doctor. This is purely my psychic impression. Schitzophrenic.



  • I am talking to illona too when I said not to tell the family about the incident as it's too easy to fixate on that was the cause but really it wasn't----it just triggered his mental condition and made that day the day.



  • Yes it pushed him over the edge, I did also wonder about the sexual thing that was the cause for the bullying. He did not show me a mental condition but I guess if he was schizophrenic he could hide it well. Or I was not alert.

    I love reading your readings Blmoon they are awesome. I would like someday to be as good.

    xPaddi



  • Hello to Blmoon

    There was a couple of times that he was in the hospital and no body knew about it and he was taking medicine and he had said that he was making him hear voices. And he was having some problem because he had been too the doctor twice talking about him having problems with going to the bathroom. That he was hurting him bad but the test came back negative for any stds. So he had when and had a aids test too. But I was thinking too that there was some kind of schizphrenia going on with him. I wish that he would have wait a little longer because my next class that starts on the 5th of march is a abnormal behavioral class and I think I could have maybe been a little help. But I just hope that his sister will be ok because she is the one that found him in her room and now she is saying she hears his voice talking to her. I think it is because she found him and it will take time I am talking to her and hoping that maybe she will listen to me and go see a counsler in her neigborhood. I can only pray for them now. I wish there was something that I could do for them.But now I can't sleep this as been a very bad week for me sleeping because it is in the back of my mind because I am not in New YOrk to help my niece. But I am just asking god to help me so I can help her. Thanks so much Illona



  • I got goosebumps! Actualy, he is going to be there to help YOU through this journey of YOU helping others! And the hearing voices that validates my diagnose. Can his sister come stay with you awhile? I really feel that it will be you that helps--even if it is long distance and it will be because you will be able to give them the mental health "education" on his disease. It does not make it any less tradject but will bring some peace for them to truelly understand that his mental illness--how very little they could have done. This is a very very seriouse disease that can result in death--wether suicide or worse murder as under delusion a person can feel threatened and imagine others are attacking him--it's really a painfull thing and thank God this kind soul so resisted harming others but sadly hurt himself. Honestly, he did not have a sane rational intention. Often the hearing voices stage does not apear untill later----that's the confusing part for his family--to them it seems something just suddenly happened but really he had been struggling all his life but maintained himself well enough to survive but once they hear voices--get delusional it's so out of control. People are not educated on these things until it enters their life and still it's so hard to digest---I will pray that the "right book" will fall in your lap--or maybe even a computer print out but I see you finding a book that is just perfect to send them that explains the disease in a way they can understand. They need to connect the dots of all his odd behaviours. What his sister needs to know is even had she been home---that in his state she could not have "talked him out of anything"--once a person is in full crises there is no longer a logical reasoning power---there is no talking him out of anything---this is not the same as a depression. They need to know the reason was delusional with only a few true facts that fed his fear AND by then the VOICES were telling him to do BAD things. The s exuality fixation was fueled by fear and outside comments---but not all was real---he assumed he was g ay----that he needed to be punished---he assumed other men were going to come to his home and tell his family he did bad things! It's true that teasing went on but it should have not caused a healthy man to die over it---it was his mental state that took small things and imagined crazy stuff. The teasers who played with it meant no true harm--they just were part of the male jungle of pecking order toying with the weak and I'm not sure if he imagined it or it was real but somehow he felt he had to pay. That pay idea started earlier when he imagined he had aids and cancer or SOME horrible punishment. He got it in his head if he had money he could pay off his accusers but that was not real or enough as his disease would not have been satisfied with any solution. That date the two twelves---he imagined had a special power and if he sacrificed himself on that day all debts would be paid. OH how this poor man suffered! There were bad moments when he imagined enemies were going to hurt his family and it was all because of him. His sister needs to see a psychiatrist--not a counselour but a psychiatrist---she now has post traumatic stress syndrom and it will not go away. She needs medication to ease her anxiety attacks that will hit her--otherwise she will suffer much more than needed and it will keep her reclusive as she will fear freaking out in public. She now deals with losing control. Truth is there is no instant fix for this and healing and the grief process must take it's time. Again, find good books on the grief process. Some of these are very comforting---look in the book store and say a prayer. After my son passed I was given a book that so helped---it was written like a journal with daily entries written by a father who's daughter died in a freak horseriding accident---it was so comforting because it was real--all the crazy emotions and surprising thoughts that go through your head. Pick a book that is written by someone who has been there as grief is so uncharted for most---it turns your world upside down and inside out and isolates you--it is a relief to find a connection to one's pain in another's journey AND it gives you hope that yes this can be survived. I also used EFT through Jan Luther's web site but I do not think his family would be ready for something like that. You would be open to it--it's called Tapping---it is very comforting to stop anxiety attacks and she lost a son in a car accident and developed a free sample for those in deep grief. It sounds crazy at first--the tapping thing but it really works! BLESSINGS!



  • PADDI

    you heard right---I did not mention the illness either right off as Spirit did NOT tell me to so you got it right. There are two different connections--one is intuitive and or spirit speaking or medium--the medium connection is a dirrect going inside that person----you ask to let them show you and they agree or don't and if they agree they let you inside from their point of view. There's different medium expieriences---connecting directly to a spirit crossed over is usually not so traumatizing as they are already in spirit form and that is a very good place. But having a spirit put you in their earth form THAT is felt exactly! And that's why I can only do a very limmitted amount of those as it really effects my body. After that first post I took my blood pressure and it was crazy high and I had to rest and cleanse my energy. It was later that night before sleep when spirit said to me that man was schitzophrenic and tommorrow you can tell them that. I have always been specialy guided towards those affected by mental illness--it's a special calling. My first post was a dirrect connection to him--the days before death--I was inside HIM and no he had no idea of what his illness was---I just described what I was feeling inside of him and it honestly was so awfull I had to pull back. That's a very painful place he was and the thoughts that were flying through my head--HIS head were just so delusional I had to stop because it made me feel sick---my chest actually hurt. But he did let me in to his present state--with God and THAT was a very wonderful feeling! Instant releif---I think he wanted the reader to get that----not to dwell on his human pain but to feel the blessed peace of his being finally home. Paddi---trust whatever you get. We cannot always validate why but Spirit says what is needed and trust that and even when it seems like it made no sense to anyone--just always let it go---shrugg and say to yourself--whatever! If you worry to0 much about getting things perfectly right it gets in the way. Also, when we are really tired --sick--or stressed out we get a weaker connection. That's why I don't try to answer too many too often and I have to balance my energy to fit my own life. I think your post was exactly as Spirit wanted it to be. BLESSINGS!