WERE MY HOPE WISHES AND PRAYERS A LOST CAUSE
WHERE DO I START? I GUESS A BRIEF CRASH COURSE OF A ROCKY RELATIONSHIP
SIX YEARS...SIX MEMORABLE HAPPY, SAD, JOYOUS, HARD AND TRIALING YEARS, BUT IT GREW ME UP. HE CHALLENGED ME AND I LOVE TO BE CHALLENGED, HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON FOR MANY THINGS LOL HE MADE ME WANT TO EXPLORE. AN AMAZING CAPRICORN WHO CAPTURED ME AN INTRIGUED ME IN EVERY WAY.
HE WAS MY FIRST CRUSH IN HIGH SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY BECAME MY FIRST LOVE. I DID SO MANY THINGS FOR HIM; THINGS I SAID I WOULD NEVER DO. THAT SIDE HE BROUGHT OUT OF ME ALSO BROUGHT OUT THE WORST IN ME. WHEN WE WERE NOT TOGETHER IT WAS LIKE I WAS A BEAST AND HE TAMED ME JUST AS I DID HIM. WE HAD A GREAT FOUNDATION IN THE BEGINNING BUT THROUGHOUT THE YEARS LAYERS SLOWLY REVEALED ITSELF. I ADMIT I BECAME OBSESSED AND WOULD GO ABOVE AND BEYOND TO SEEK HIS ATTENTION EVERYTIME HE CHEATED I WOULD SEEK REVENGE BUT I GREW UP AND LEARNED "IF I WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN ONE DAY REVENGE IS NOT THE KEY". ON FEBRUARY I FOUND OUT HE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE AND IT WASNT SHOCKING; I JUST KNEW IT WAS SOMEONE THERE. SHE TOLD ME THEY HAD BEEN TALKING FOR A MONTH AND HE TELLS HER HE LOVES HER. WHEN I CONFRONTED HIM I WAS MADE THE BAD PERSON. HE SAID I CAN'T CONTROL HIS LIFE HE JUST TURNED ON ME...HE TURNED ON ME. HE SAID HE HAD LOVE FOR ME BUT HE WASNT IN LOVE ANYMORE. IT HURTED AND I WANTED SO BAD TO GET HIS NAME COVERED UP ON MY CHEST BECAUSE SOMETHING DEEP DOWN TELLS ME AFTER I FOUGHT HIM THAT HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. I DREAMED LAST NIGHT THAT HE WAS OVER ME AND WAS SO HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEY HAD A BABY TOGETHER AND IT HURTED. A PROPHET TOLD ME THAT HE WAS MY HUSBAND, WE BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT, WHERE I LACK HE FILLS AND VICE VERSA, HE TOLD HIM NOT TO LET ME GO BUT HE DID BUT THIS VISION THAT HE SEEN I DONT THINK WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS VISION WAS TOLD TO US A MONTH AGO AND I BELIEVE MAYBE ITS CHANGED. SO MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THERE STILL LOVE?...WHAT SHOULD I DO? BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON...IS HE IN MY FUTURE?
I'm not sure why exactly you want him back
you said "every time he cheated" means he cheated on you more than once
is there any reason to believe he will not cheat on you again? is that why you want him back?
or this is more of competition between you and the other girl to win him?
OK you have been with him 6 yrs. sure it's a long time
difficult to move on from, but not necessarily impossible if you want to
I KNOW SOUNDS FOOLISH OF ME TO STILL WANT HIM BUT I LOVE HIM IN HIS RIGHTS AND ALSO I N HIS WRONGS.
not saying it's foolish.
if you want him back because you still love him, then I guess keep contact with him
that way he will always be reminded of you and your time together
maybe one day he will have a change of heart, which means he will hurt the other girl for you
Capitals is like shouting, can you please use normal speak.
You are too on fire right now for clarity. I know you just want the pain to go away. Distance is best right now. Avoid lashing out at him or yourself. That Scorpio anger must be tempered with a strong cool resolve. Run around the block if you have to but no one will able to give you clarety until you are spent enough to have a more "receiving energy". Is there someone else in your life who calms you---is a wise listener? It's ok to vent a day or two. Just be wise and allow your head to keep your powerful fire from burning down the house. Your life is much much bigger than this event----he is not as essential as you "FEEL" right now. Find a positive distraction and clarity will come. Love does not hurt like this. You do not know anything different. Other people in your life love you very much--go where the love IS---choose love. He either is committed or not. God did not put you on earth with a note that said---this woman doesn't deserve to know love. Know yourself---I've never met a Scorpio who could except a cheating mate. No one is just one thing--all bad or all good---yes he can be the moon in other areas but know yourself. It will never work. You are a scorpio and he cheats. If anybody can be strong enought to fight compulsion it's a scorpio. Use your head--live in reality--harsh as it gets--bring it on and tell yourself the truth. Scorpios are one of the strongest signs. Emotion gets in the way---self control will get you "above this". This won't hurt forever. Respect yourself and cut the chord to this man who is NOT. Someday you will look back and cringe at the thought of him. Be brave and risk the unknown---I've never met a Scorpio stay lonely to long. Expand your world. This too will pass! BLESSINGS!