WERE MY HOPES, WISHES, AND PRAYERS A LOST CAUSE
WHERE DO I START? I GUESS A BRIEF CRASH COURSE OF A ROCKY RELATIONSHIP
SIX YEARS...SIX MEMORABLE HAPPY, SAD, JOYOUS, HARD AND TRIALING YEARS, BUT IT GREW ME UP. HE CHALLENGED ME AND I LOVE TO BE CHALLENGED, HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON FOR MANY THINGS LOL HE MADE ME WANT TO EXPLORE. AN AMAZING CAPRICORN WHO CAPTURED ME AN INTRIGUED ME IN EVERY WAY.
HE WAS MY FIRST CRUSH IN HIGH SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY BECAME MY FIRST LOVE. I DID SO MANY THINGS FOR HIM; THINGS I SAID I WOULD NEVER DO. THAT SIDE HE BROUGHT OUT OF ME ALSO BROUGHT OUT THE WORST IN ME. WHEN WE WERE NOT TOGETHER IT WAS LIKE I WAS A BEAST AND HE TAMED ME JUST AS I DID HIM. WE HAD A GREAT FOUNDATION IN THE BEGINNING BUT THROUGHOUT THE YEARS LAYERS SLOWLY REVEALED ITSELF. I ADMIT I BECAME OBSESSED AND WOULD GO ABOVE AND BEYOND TO SEEK HIS ATTENTION EVERYTIME HE CHEATED I WOULD SEEK REVENGE BUT I GREW UP AND LEARNED "IF I WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN ONE DAY REVENGE IS NOT THE KEY". ON FEBRUARY I FOUND OUT HE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE AND IT WASNT SHOCKING; I JUST KNEW IT WAS SOMEONE THERE. SHE TOLD ME THEY HAD BEEN TALKING FOR A MONTH AND HE TELLS HER HE LOVES HER. WHEN I CONFRONTED HIM I WAS MADE THE BAD PERSON. HE SAID I CAN'T CONTROL HIS LIFE HE JUST TURNED ON ME...HE TURNED ON ME. HE SAID HE HAD LOVE FOR ME BUT HE WASNT IN LOVE ANYMORE. IT HURTED AND I WANTED SO BAD TO GET HIS NAME COVERED UP ON MY CHEST BECAUSE SOMETHING DEEP DOWN TELLS ME AFTER I FOUGHT HIM THAT HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. I DREAMED LAST NIGHT THAT HE WAS OVER ME AND WAS SO HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEY HAD A BABY TOGETHER AND IT HURTED. A PROPHET TOLD ME THAT HE WAS MY HUSBAND, WE BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT, WHERE I LACK HE FILLS AND VICE VERSA, HE TOLD HIM NOT TO LET ME GO BUT HE DID BUT THIS VISION THAT HE SEEN I DONT THINK WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS VISION WAS TOLD TO US A MONTH AGO AND I BELIEVE MAYBE ITS CHANGED. SO MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THERE STILL LOVE?...WHAT SHOULD I DO? BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON...IS HE IN MY FUTURE?
First loves always tend to remain in our memories the longest. But you have grown into different people now and are meant to find other more suitable partners for who you are now. Once you let go of this guy and move on like he has from you, then a new love can come into your life because there will then be room for him. When you are only thinking of this first love, no one else has room in your life.
But what confuses me the most is what a minister prophesized to us...it was like he knew my personaility my ways. The how we balance each other out him seeing us married; he just simply told me to be patient.
It's a minister's job to promote positivity - but it's not necessarily what will happen unless both you and your partner want it to happen. One person's wishful thinking is not enough to make it work.