Tryiing to win back my Cancer Male. Am I forgivable?



  • Sorry if this is too long, but I need answers based on experience and tried and true methods and based on every aspect of my situation. Every situation is different. Im looking for positive answers, not "Just forget about his ***, men are stupid." answers.

    So Ive been in a relationship with a Cancer man for 2 1/2 months. We only knew each other a week before we decided to be in a relationship. Im a Virgo woman btw.I started falling for him. He's VERY sensitive, as all Cancers are. But Im sensitive as well. But, When I like someone, Im willing to do anything to win their heart. We had an argument weeks ago about him being kind of a dick to me sometimes, and how Im too "soft". Maybe I am, but I also know how to apologize. So it made him open up and say "Well, Im confused and I dont know what to do right now because I dont feel like I love you, but I want to. And Im trying." I told him that two months usually isnt enough time to say you love someone. And we decided to keep seeing each other. But he definitely was showing signs of being in love. And him being a Cancer, I had a feeling he felt more for me then he was saying. But I wasnt going to force it. So we had a good relationship for a little while, I could tell he had taken my conversation to heart. He was being more considerate of my feelings, I just dont think he wanted to admit to it. Again, the way of the Cancer man. I was fine with that. He doesnt have to always apologize as long as he considers my feelings and makes the right adjustments. But after thinking he wasnt in love with me, I tried winning him over. I spoiled him, as Cancers love to be, and tried to act like wifey, which I could tell he was loving. But I got a little mad the other day when he made me feel guilty for not having sex with me when he wanted. I was on my period!! and he only had 30 minutes or so left on his lunch break. I didnt want to have sex. Period. I didnt mind him begging. However, I was so hurt that he made me feel guilty for not doing it. He was saying, now he has to go back to work all grumpy. And I held my ground. And the convo was over text when we talked about it. I told him, its fine if he begs, but if I say I dont wanna have sex, its not to torture him, its because I truly dont feel like it. He thinks I manipulate him like he does me. And thats just not how it is. He said he felt tortured..... ( we have a LOT of sex..... so thats bull).

    So I simply said, you might be addicted to sex with me, cause I know we have a lot of passion in that area, but Im also a person and I want to be respected. As in, respect my wishes. And he responded with "Well, I guess if im disrespecting you, we dont need to hang out." Yea. WAYYY over reacting. Again, another Cancer trait. He was trying to test my loyalty. And I didnt wanna fight, but them Cancers loooove trouble and testing your reaction, so somehow we ended up talking about his lack of love for me again. So I was like, ok, fine, so if you have no feelings for me, then why are you still with me? And he kinda changed the path of the discussion. Its like hes trying to hide the fact that he feels for me and just hasnt reached the head over heels point so he doesnt wanna break up with me, but he doesnt wanna feel like hes dragging me along. So I asked him, so what do YOU wanna do? If you need to break up with me, do it. Stop dragging me along. And the way he talked, It sounded like he just wanted a break for awhile. So I said ok. I was heartbroken, but what can I do? So after a little while, I assumed we were over. Changed my FB status to single within about an hour of this dicussion. And a friend texted me wondering if we could get together. and we started talking. And one text.... I thought was from the new guy cause it corresponded perfectly to what hwe were talking about.... but it was actually from my bf. "I just feel so upset and down about everything right now and I dont like it if I cant give you my all and Id rather not be there at all." I thought that was from the guy i knew that had been wanting to date me. So..... I responded with: "I know. youve gone thru alot and i dont expect you to hop into anything. But I still wanna hang out. I need to date and have a little fun anyway."

    BIG MISTAKE. The text about him feeling down was from my BF!!And I had just sent that reply to my Cancerian bf that I had thought just dumped me....... I couldve played it off....... like it really was for him. But i stupidly told him it was meant for someone else. He was so upset and hurt. Ive never hurt someone that bad....... Ever. But that made him admit that he was really sad and crying his eyes out about me. And through conversation, I realized he cared more about me than i thought and that he had led on. But, I was convinced he didnt care so thats why I was already talking with an old friend. Anyway, I just need to know how to make amends with this Cancer man. I want him back



  • Am virgo as well and i 'd like to say mine is similar issue to yours.. and we have been up and down for 8 mths ..and yes it is forgiveable and most imptly let him sort things out first bc he has probably hide out in his shell to recuperate this might needs days or months bc you are contacting another guy which is grevious mistake and your bf might think you have cheated him. Just simply reassure to your bf that you will no longer contact that guy and have deleted him.



  • Yes, Cancerian men are very reticent and hold their emotions in...it's quite sad really, because they're such sweet and sensitive creatures...yes to everything you mentioned (typical cancerian behavior). I suggest that you stop communicating and see if he comes back, then that means he really does want you...or wait for a couple of weeks then send a very casual 'hey, how are you?' message...I dont know what to tell you, but there are many cancerian guys here who MIGHT help (of course, being the cancerian people they are, they wouldn't speak up - as there is nothing in return for them!!! LOL).



  • LOL VOC! its not always about us. From what I read he did love you and wanted to be sure you were truly his. Not just saying it but through actions. It is really hard to give your heart to someone and trust that they wont break it. This goes for anyone but especially for us. Every breakup is hard for us and we do not want to repeat the mistakes of the past...i.e going to fast. Honestly getting a text from someone I am with that was for another man just might be a deal breaker. It shows your options are open and I know its only two months...but we dont date for sex...its for marriage/commitment. Now I am not a spokesman for all cancers, this is my take FWIW. Try to give him time, if he loves you he will come back. Reach out to him in a few days, apologize and reaffirm your feelings. It will give him the info he needs.



  • Finally!! a response from a cancerian man!! 🙂 (just the fact that one of you guys responded makes me want to do a little dance, hehe). Well, I dont know if you read the whole thing...I KNOW for a fact that he does love me...but the continuous breaking up, then coming back breaks me a little every time...it makes me feel unwanted, unloved, unappreciated and that he wants to keep his options open...you guys say you're keepers, then why do you break up? I know he is trying and it probably the age difference...but sometimes he was rude, cruel, harsh and extremely hurtful...add to that uncompromising and failing to see my perspective, I told him time and time again that I love him, I wont abandon him and that I'm willing to give it my all (and i did) but felt there was little in return...having said all that, I DO see that he probably felt 9 months was not enough to do certain things, sacrifices, but I am afraid of staying and giving it my all (it's either all or nothing for me, quite frankly) and then losing miserably...he needs to see that...he wants to be equals when it's convenient to him...sometimes I cannot be that (in certain areas) beyond my control...and when i can, I am an equal and even more giving...I've been the giver here...and it worries me because cancerians are usually the givers, no? Please tell me what you think...and I am sorry if I harsh in my tone...please do not take it as a personal attack, but i have an emotional investment at stake and sometimes you say things that may see irrelevant or overblown to you (when they are directed at the beloved...)



  • thanks so much for the honest feedback..it did help and did make me grow softer and see things more from his perspective...:)



  • Virgo, if you love him why on earth would you be talkingto someone somsoon. It is very fickle of you. Of course he would be hurt, anyone would, even you if he did that to you. You do not act trustworthy pulling that nonsense on him. In find it shocking when people are so easily over a person and pursue someone else so quickly. It mens they are insincere people. Fake love, fake emotions, fake fake fake. Get your truth on the same level as your love and heart.


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