Cancer/Capricorn drama and question

  • Hello everyone! I wanted to start this so it wouldn't get lost in all the other Cancer threads. Many of you know me from way back in March when I first started asking what was up with these Cancer men...Well - ladies - I can tell you my story has not changed one bit. I have no idea what to do now. When my Cancer boy broke up with me last October he broke my heart. I heard the old, tired - "I don't love you" and the "I don't want to hurt you" crap - even though everything was going wonderful. Well - that breakup lasted two weeks and then we got back together. then in March, Financial issues sent him back into his shell for two and a half months until he felt he had handled his problem well enough to make contact with me again. So we then get back together - although I am not so quick jump into this "relationship" again. Well - the universe - GOD - gave us both a huge miracle of a blessing. I am now 6 weeks pregnant.

    I told him and now I am getting the "I don't love you" and "I don't want to hurt you" speech again. At this point I don't even know what to do. I will not abort this baby. He tells me he doesn't want it because he is not ready and most imprtantly - he is scared. I understand that and I appreciate his honesty, but I am scared too.

    Anyone have any advice on how to handle him in this situation? Anything is wonderful - I am at a loss right now.

  • Hi, Why don't you forget about handling him right now. You have your hands full and I'm more worried about you and the baby then what he thinks.

    I agree that having a baby is good news. I have a feeling that you may need this number for support thru this 1-800-baby due.

    So, will you continue to work and is everything ok for you financially.

  • I am ok - Im not stressing over this - I just don't want to do this alone. I know I have alot of love and support, but it's never fun when you have someone you love deeply tell you they care about you alot, but don't love you. This didn't happen on purpose, nor do I have any intention to "trap" him, but I want him to be here with me.

    Thanks Dalia.............

  • Give it time. It may happen. There's a possibility that he will come around. May take awhile.

  • Well - let'sput it this way - he's a mommas boy and right after the "@#$%$%^&" came - my mom is going to kick my azz. LOL! He's in shock right now. I had talked to a seer awhile ago and let's put it this way - this situation right now is everything she told me was going to happen. he had told me he hadn't made his decision yet on whether or not he wanted to be with me for good. She told me he will make that decision to be with me for good in September. BUT - the decision was up to me - she felt that it was still up in the air whether or not I would want to be with him for good by then. I guess we'll see.............

  • I am also a Cap and haven't had much luck in dealing with cancers from either sex. I will tell you a short story and leave this quadary up to you. I was married for 25 yrs and had a few issues but basically was ok in the marriage.......I got sick, both physically, emotionally and mentally. My hubby, at the time, would tell me how my best friend was jealous of me.......she is a cancer. I didn't believe my ex because my cancer friend had so much. I introduced her to her husband who died and we were friends for over 20 yrs. I ended up on lots of drugs(I do not do well on drugs, lots of crazy side effects etc....) I ended up having a very short affair with a married cancer man. My cancer friend told my ex hubby about the affair........tyrst.......whatever you want to call it and that sealed my fate. I won't go into all the problems I have had sense but I do wonder why neither my hubby (Taurus) or my so called best friend, did not help me when I was so sick. I always wanted a true partner and did not have that in the marriage.......I was in shock for years when my ex-hubby married my cancer (ex-best friend) I don't think they will be happy considering their excess baggage.........I will say for yourself and NEVER count on anyone else to make it.

  • Congratulations! You have bigger things to worry about than his emotional sh!t. Time to man up cuz no one ever is really 'ready' for a baby. Your happiness comes first, this is YOUR time to be selfish! 🙂

  • I'm really sorry he's still driving you nuts, Paula. Maybe you should change how you approach him. Since he's going to act like he recently hit puberty, treat him like it. I'm starting to realize Cancers react the best when you baby them. You don't have to get him to stay with you, but he should take responsibility for the baby. Just try talking to him like you'd talk to a kid who is going away to summer camp for the first time and he's scared to the point of almost wetting his pants. If you haven't already tried that.

  • Thank you KarmaCutie!!!!!

    Maria - you are hilarious! I always talk to him like that! It's pretty funny -sometimes he gets this dazed look on his face when we're talking and I have to restate what I was saying - only as if I was talking to my 9 yr old nephew......and then he gets it - lol! I totally blame his mother for this - I swear - she tells him what to do, when to do it and how to do it - I swear she probably even taught him how to have sex for the first time. I wouldn't even doubt it if she videotaped it to tell him what he did wrong. His mom makes all his decisions for him - no lie. He is a 28yr old grown man for gods sakes. I cant' be babying him right now! I need to baby myself - I went off on him a couple of days ago - hormones are really getting to me. I told him everyone's scared and no one is ever ready to have a baby. I also told him I felt sorry for him because he feels he doesn't even know what love is. I think it's sad. I'm thinking that pretty much pushed him away from ever taking responsibility and growing the f up, but I'm prepared to take advantage of all the other love and support I'm getting. I do wish he was with me on this, but I know that everything happens for a reason and I have to keep thinking that to keep myself from stressing out.....

  • PaulaJ - firstly congratulations!!!! How exciting to have a new baby on the way... I really don't know what I would do in that situation.. I guess you have to keep on trying as you don't want to do it alone - but if he doesn't want to be part of it then you need to be true to yourself and be selfish!!! You and the baby are all that matters now - if he does not want to enjoy that then it is most certainly HIS LOSS!!!!! Not yours!!! You have been blessed with the gift of life - enjoy it!!!!

  • Thank you all for your congratulations! Im old (35) lol! and it is my 5th pregnancy. My first 4 ended in miscarriages (but this was due to the abusive relationship I was in at the time). Then came my final blow after the last one. I was told that my fallopian tube was so mangled by ovarian cysts and I had uterine fibroids to boot. This made for a highly unlikely chance (less than 1%) to conceive naturally. 9 years ago I relinquished the idea of ever having a child of my own, on my own, and hoped that I would find someone that would be willing (if they wanted kids) to go through possibly surrogacy or IVF. . I have been to the drs five times over the last two weeks going through sonogram after sonogram, with the Dr trying to figure out how in the heck an egg even passed through my tube, much less implanted with the fibroids. I am eating so healthy it's killing me and I have been taking it easy, but not too easy so I'll blow up like a whale. So for me, ladies, this is a TRUE MIRACLE and I am still in shock.

    I truly want Patrick to be a part of this and we are both scared, but we can be scared together. I know Cancer men tend to push women away that they love when they feel they are going to get hurt. To me ladies, this would be the ultimate hurt - have a kid with someone, without the sanctity of marriage (this is extremely important to him) and they have not only all the power, but the ability to walk away at any time without a word. But I'm also hurting right now too, because I want him here with me. In my mind we are both in a perfect place to start over together, but he wanted to start over by himself. I don't know what the future holds, but there's always a reason for everything. I want everything to turn out for the best for everyone involved....especially me and the baby!!!!!

    Thanks for listening (readng tee hee) everyone. I really appreciate it........

  • Hey Paula... Congratulations dear 🙂 May God give ya the strength and love to carry it forward...

    Well, I have been away from the forums for some days ladies...reason being 'the Cancer in my lifel' LOL. I feel like I'm gonna burst with all the guessing work when it comes to my cancer guy! I've been giving him a cold shoulder for what 2 weeks now...even removed him from my FB on account of something he said n I didnt like!! And he springs back each time more determined to win me over. Gosh all this game playing sucks at times but thanks to cancermen...Where IS the lady these days?? I've been learning the tricks of the trade from her now and so far things have picked up a li'l pace with each passing day...However I AM SCARED FROM WITHIN...I mean I m playing hard to get with him...what happens when I DO FALL FOR HIM n he runs away...thats what these men do, don't they? The moment they're sure u've fallen for them...they move on to the next one!

    Is all the time I'm spending thinking about the 'next move in the game' worth it?? Whatever happened to gud ol' simple LUV ??

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